Sleeping - Endicott, NY

Hello L.~ I am a mother of 3 kids. When we took my middle child out of the crib and put her in a twin bed she did the same thing. My husband also tried but nothing changed. We would lay with her, rub her back, i even started singing to her nothing worked. So i finally just put her in bed and shut her door and let her cry. After about 2 weeks she was fine with her big girl bed. She is 31/2 now and could not be happier. I am so glad i stuck it out. Things will get better i promise

S.

Hi L.,
I switched my daughter to a bed when she turned 2 because I was having another baby. She is in a twin size bed and I put it against the wall and put a rail on the other. She hated it for awhile. Every night she did the same thing as your daughter. I wouldn't put her back in a crib, it just confuses them. Keep her in a routine and stay in her room less and less each night. When you are in there, try sitting on the floor and not looking her in the eye. Eventually they get used it. A lot of my friends had suggested to me to put up a gate on her doorway, but I didn't need to do that. Hang in there, it's a big change they have to get used to.
Jennifer

Did she have this problem in the crib also, or did it start when you changed her to the twin bed? This may offer a little more so that we can try and help!!!

if it was me I would keep trying another 3 days then i would put the crib back up and then try doing naps in he bed at first then working it into bed time hope this ad vice helps

if she didn't have any problems with the crib, i would say to put that back together, and if it allows it (with the security) take off the front piece that raises and lowers, have the mattress as low as possible, and let her stay in her crib, but be able to climb in and out. my daughter's 19 months and last month we tried that, she absolutely loved it! but before we could keep her in it, we realized it's just a little too dangerous for HER because she loves to jump and bounce in her crib, and on any bed (that's actually the 1st thing she did when she climbed up onto the mattress lol) and her dresser is as far as it possibly can be from her bed, though there's only about 1, MAYBE 1 1/2 feet away from the crib, so if she fell over those little railing/guards that prevent them from falling out when sleeping (which it wouldn't prevent that while jumping) she could very easily break her neck. we for that reason (and that reason ALONE) we're keeping her in the crib until we can make a new room for us, giving her the rest of our room so she can safely have her bed, and we won't have to worry about her jumping. other then that, it was COMPLETELY safe to take the front gate off. just double check before you do it (if you consider trying that) there are some cribs that are made for that, some cribs that weren't made for it, but are built so it's just as sturdy with as well as without that front gate (like ours) and plenty of cribs that could fall apart and seriously hurt a child if you take that off. we tested by having my husband sit on it while the front gate was off, and if his weight didn't have the sides collapse in, then her jumping would NEVER cause that to happen. be safe, and hopefully having the bars around her will make her feel safe and go to sleep, and having the front gate off with the guard railing on so she can't fall off (in a crib, it leaves just enough room for them to climb up and down on the side if you put the guard railing all the way to the side she puts her head) hopefully she'll get used to having it a little different, then maybe after a couple of months she can be moved back to the twin. also, maybe if you have her pick out her own sheets/bedspread, idk how that would help her sleep, but it's been suggested to me. good luck.

I subscribe to a wonderful daily email list called "The Daily Groove," by Scott Noelle. He must have had you and Stacy L in mind when was writing today's "Groove." So, I'm pasting it here (it's obviously what he wanted me to do!) ;-)

Enjoy!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: Riding Coattails ::

When practicing the Art of Unconditionality,
hopefulness and optimism can help you make peace
with unwanted conditions and behavior. You can talk
yourself into a more optimistic groove by "riding the
coattails" of past successes -- yours or others'.

Suppose your child is taking a long time to fall
asleep, and you're feeling frustrated. Instead of
thinking, "He's *never* going to fall asleep," which
makes you feel worse, recall past situations that
turned out well: "He *always* falls asleep eventually,
and there *have* been times when he went out like a
lightbulb."

Then focus on your own experience: "I've handled
challenges like this before... I'm good at waiting
when I relax into it... Some of my most satisfying
experiences involved a lot of waiting, and I've always
said it was worth the wait..." Etc.

A feeling of relief will wash over you as you release
resistance and make peace with What Is.

Paradoxically, outer conditions and behaviors are more
likely to change once you no longer "need" them to.

See also:
http://www.scottnoelle.com/parenting/unconditional.htm

Permalink:
http://dailygroove.net/riding-coattails

Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2007 by Scott Noelle

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is soooooooo true!!!!

I hope this has been helpful! So much peace can be gained simply by shifting one's perspective!!!

When my daughter switched to a big-girl bed, I left her door open and put her light on very dimly. Then after she's asleep, we turn the light off and shut the door. That seemed to help her out as it wasn't so dark when she went to bed and since we left the door open, she knew that if she called out, we would respond and talk to her. It took a while for her to get used to, but she's a great sleeper now. Have you tried getting a nightlight or a special bear/animal for her to sleep with? Perhaps she wants the security of having something in the bed with her. We also allow our kids to look at books (even though the light is dim) while they are in bed. That way, they can "play" with the books for a bit before going to sleep. When they are tired, they put the books on the floor and drift off to sleep. Good luck!!

I don't know if it's too late to try this approach, as she already is fighting against the bed, but I'll tell you what worked for us. WHen we were getting ready to transition our girls, we spent a lot of time getting them excited about moving to a big girl bed -- showing them their cousin's bed when we were over there, talking about how exciting it is to be big enough for a big bed, shopping for bedding. There was a lot of build up. By the time their bed was set up, they were so excited and felt so proud! I did however keep the crib set up for a long while afterwards. If they got out of bed they were put in their crib to sleep. I only had to employ this once for them to see that I meant business. And them seeing the crib in their room was enough of a reminder that big girls need to sleep in their big girl beds. I think my girls were closer to three when I transitioned them however, so maybe that is why it worked for us.

I recently changed the bed of my 3 year old and now she doesn't like to go to sleep, she cries for a few minutes while I stand outside the door and then she falls asleep soundly. My daughter has always had a hard time sleeping through the night, but she sleeps great once she falls asleep in the twin bed. I think that being in such a big bed is not as soothing as a crib or in my case a toddler bed. Hang in there, it does get better!
As far as working different shits, that must be hard, have you ever considered working from home and less hours outside of the house? I do and I love it. I am able to spend more time with the kids as my husband works 16 hour shifts. If I can answer any questions let me know.
M.
www.AHealthyFuture.info