first of all, i must say, your birth story is incredible!!! congratulations, though i'm sure it must have been a turbulent experience.
we co-slept and never did the cry it out thing. i'm not entirely clear on your approach, but i know that the way parents approach sleep can be a very touchy subject. children's sleep patterns tend to change a lot over the course of their little lives, and it sounds like yours is going through some changes. is she growing any teeth right now? is she feeling unwell during the changing seasons?
would you ever consider bringing her into bed with you for some extra snuggles when she is feeling bad? or sitting with her and rocking her until she finds sleep again? reassurances of your love and gentle touch can go a long way.
maybe she needs more in her bedtime routine to settle her down. perhaps you could read a story to her and sing her a song? she might like some relaxing tea before bed. traditional medicinals, yogi teas and celestial seasonings all make pleasent bedtime teas. i also make sure my daughter avoids sugar in the evenings. sugar really winds her up and then she has trouble falling asleep.
there are some books out there about sleep, but they all vary wildly in approach. usually when things aren't working out for my child, i feel that it's time to reinvent the wheel and change the approach. i wish you luck and hope that you are finding the rest that you need.