Sleep Help - Seattle, WA

J. - If your daughter doesn't have to be away from you at nap time I'm not sure why you're not nursing her to sleep. At 7 months old that's just the way it is - very normal. And there is no danger of tooth decay with breastmilk because there is no "ingredient" that will hurt teeth. The tooth decay comes from formula that has chemicals and sweeteners.

Go ahead and nurse your baby - you only have a few months of that special time together left!

Hi J. -

I'm a SAHM of 5 children ages 7 and under and have nursed all of them through toddlerhood and co-slept with all of them. Unless you're weaning your baby, there is no need to restrict nursing her to sleep. I didn't have a chance to read all of the other responses, but you don't need to worry about tooth decay at this point. Just relax and follow your baby's cues. If she wants to nurse to sleep, let her. She is designed to continue to get her pacification needs met by you for many months beyond this age. She is so young and the habits you have formed with her are good ones, ones that will benefit your bond/realtionship with her for years to come. If you try to cut it off prematurely, this may unnecessarily hurt the relationship you're still establishing. Also, there is absolutely no need to make her cry it out. Later, when she's an older toddler (like 18 mos. to 2 yrs.) is typically a better time to gently wean from nursing to sleep or night nursing. Even then, you don't have to leave them crying alone in a crib. You can wean while being present and showing compassion. You just need to know your child and their temperment. There are no "set" ages of when they "should" be sleeping on their own or whether they should be falling asleep without nursing. In fact, some babies give up nursing to sleep around 9-12 mos. and I personally morn that loss because nursing to sleep is such a relaxing and peaceful tool for me to help my little ones fall asleep! Enjoy this time and keep in mind that your baby will be needy for a few short years and you don't really have to teach independence...it naturally comes with development.

Blessings,
J.

I don't have much useful advice about getting her to sleep without nursing, because my twins were the same way -- VERY tough sleepers, especially one of them. A ride in a stroller or in the car worked, though. However, I wanted to say that nursing to sleep doesn't really cause major tooth decay the way bottles in bed do. The difference is that with nursing, the milk only comes out with active sucking, and is immediately swallowed from the back of the mouth. It doesn't even touch the front teeth. Bottles drip, and the milk pools on the teeth and rots them. I ended up nursing my kids to sleep until they turned 2 (!) which I never intended to do, but now they are about to turn 3, and their teeth are fine.

I have three girls and I nursed them all to sleep in our bed. We also enjoyed cosleeping and I never worried about their teeth. I knew they loved the security of nursing to sleep, so that is what we did. Now the older two sleep in their own beds and their teeth are fine. The youngest is still a baby and sleeps with us. Hope this helps.

This sounds like my son. The only way I can get him to sleep is to nurse him or take him for a drive or walk in his stroller. The swing doesn't work and wearing him doesn't work. He never took a pacifier when he was a baby, but what I have started doing is to give him the pacifier right after I unlatch him and he goes back to sleep and will sleep longer. (This is the only time he will take the pacifier.) I also started nursing him back to sleep when he woke up from his naps too early, (5 mins to 40 mins). In the last few weeks he has started to sleep for 1-3 hours. He just turned 8 months old yesterday. My son also sleeps with us and I put him down for his naps in our bed. Hope this helps, it will get better. :)

Hi J.,
I had the same issue with my little girl. SHe is almost 17 yrs old and would never sleep on her own so we ended up co-sleeping. It worked just fine because as long as she was close to me she would fall asleep. I nursed her all night long, or let her have access anyway. It allowed us both to sleep and breastmilk will not cause tooth decay. Usually the milk is gone and it's more of a soothing,sucking for them. I called myself the human pacifier. She just started taking a pacifier recently off/on because of teething. If you can just nurse her to sleep, she will eventually wean off of that, I never thought mine would but one night she was just done and took a bottle instead. It's hard for them to understand why mom won't soothe them and let them have teh only soothing thing they want..it's ok to nurse them to sleep, 7 mos was still pretty young for me to want to change her patterns, she still needs you :)

I was told (by our doctor) that tooth decay is most likely to happen when babies are put to bed with a bottle of milk or juice and left to suck on this all night and that I shouldn't worry about nursing her. We brush twice a day and if she wakes up I only give her water at night (I nursed once a night until about 1 year old).
I am still breastfeeding my 18 month old to sleep every night and her teeth are fine so far (she has a lot too!).

Hi J.,

First of all don't worry about the tooth decay, I don't know if you heard that somewhere, but I think if you look it up, you'll find it's not an issue (try Sears books or a lactation nurse). That's more about formula fed babies falling asleep with a bottle in their mouth. Formula has sweeteners such as corn syrup. Breastmilk has enzymes that work with your babies such that it's not a problem.

Most breastfed babies need to be nursed to sleep a lot later than 7 months old. In fact, with most women I know that is the last feeding to go when weaning. Extended nursers (ages 2 and older) that I know of are getting usually just the nurse to sleep. There's nothing wrong with it, and it's the most natural thing for you baby. Babies are too little to do anything except what comes naturally to them, and this is too early to train and force them to do things that you want, it usually turns out rather badly, from what I've seen and heard.

She'll also sleep longer with a full stomach. Another tip is that your milk between midnight and 6 am is the most plentiful and has the most fat, which is great for babies (but forces mama to be up at painful times, unfortunately).

I'm guessing that if you continue to nurse her to sleep, you'll find things a lot more peaceful and less stressful, and that's the way it should be. (Unless there's some medical issue that you didn't mention)

Best wishes.

Check out the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She is an advocate of the family bed and has some really great ideas about how to get baby to sleep, and how to get baby to sleep for longer stretches. She really asks that you put some work into charting your babies current sleep schedule, and making a plan and sticking with it. We never coslept, but the ideas in the book worked well for our TERRIBLE sleeper.

Wishing you a blissful night's sleep!

With regard to the tooth decay you can take a swab and clean out all the pooled breastmilk after she has nursed to sleep, and you can also get these wipes call "Spiffies" which have xylitol to help prevent decay.

I would highly advise against withholding on the nursing as this can cause unnecessary distress to both of you which you will just have to deal with later on anyway. "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley sounds like the book you need.

If you can pump and let your hubby feed her with a bottle sometimes, it might help with the burnout factor. If you let her fall asleep nursing and just swab afterwards, it sounds like you might all get more sleep and peace and quiet. My son also needed to nurse to sleep all the time but he eventually outgrew it as he neared two. Admittedly, I haven't read much of Pantley's book but if I had to do it over again, I would definitely read the book. I think you're supposed to introduce other soothing techniques at the same time as nursing and gradually try to transition him to other ways of falling asleep? Anyway, like I said, I've only perused it briefly..

P.S. It is not true that breastfed babies don't get tooth decay. My son had caps put on his 4 front teeth at barely one years of age, and I know of many others in the same boat. Apparently there is a cavity causing virus that not all adults carry that can be passed down to your child from shared utensils, food, mouth kisses, etc. Breastmilk by itself is good for teeth but if there is ANY sugar in the mouth (including from foods with simple carbs) then it is much WORSE than sugar alone. Also, I had a tendency to leak breastmilk and when I tested it out I found out that tons of the milk was pooling in his mouth when he fell asleep at the breast. The vast majority of breastfed babies will never encounter this, but some will so just be careful.

Dear J.,
My name is T. and I'm a mother of twin girls that are 9 months old. I was interested in your article because of one of two things. The first is when you were talking about trying to keep her awake during nursing. Was your baby not getting enough food to keep her weight up? Because my girls have always fallen asleep while feeding. It's actually aided in them napping during the day. In the beginning the doctors concern for one of the girls was she wasn't gaining enough weight. But after 3 weeks she was up to what she was supposed to weigh and I didn't stop them from falling asleep while nursing once. I think maybe that because you tried to keep her up it interrupted her sleep cycle. The second thing you mentioned that I was interested in was in regards to her teeth. I still breast feed my girls to sleep and have not had to worry about their teeth because they only nap one to two times a day. I don't think you have to worry about it unless if by nine months your child is still waking up in the middle of the night to feed. Because by about 6 months she should be sleeping a solid 8 hours. Mine sleep 12 hours. So I would say, breastfeed her at her will and don't try to schedule a nap time for her. Look for signs of when she's tired first. Those signs are growing more still and losing interest in her toys during playtime, yawning, listlessness, etc. Then go through a motion that's familiar with her. Like before she naps, breast feed her then, if she's still awake sing her a song as you go to her bed. Then if she still cries as you're putting her to bed, let her cry. Walk out of the room immediately. A baby can go 30 minutes without anything before checking on them. It also teaches her that she can't always have people coming to her at her beck and call. She can self soothe by this age. Hopefully, based on her own sleep cycle, you can find the right times for nap time. I hope any of this advice helps. Every baby is different.

I'm an AP mom of a 22 month old who continues to breastfeed to sleep for naps and usually at night. Her teeth are almost all in except for her upper 2nd molars and they are healthy and straight. If breastfeeding to sleep is what your daughter needs, why not just let her? If you're having trouble wearing her in the ergo at 17 pounds, chat with someone local who can offer some suggestions about how to wear it. I'd offer suggestions, but we're pretty far apart for me to see how you're wearing her and how to adjust so it's comfortable. My daughter is 23 pounds, I'm 6 months preggers, but it's still comfortable for me to wear her in the ergo. Sounds like a multifaceted problem with her sleep. Her nursing patterns will also change over time and her need to nurse to sleep may well change before she has many of her teeth in. They might not, but most likely her patterns will change. Check out a local La Leche League meeting/leader as well since they may have more suggestions about other ways to help her get to sleep and the safety of her nursing to sleep.

I too recommend nursing to sleep if that's what babe wants. My 2-year-old has always been either nursed to sleep or worn down to sleep. In the last 6 months or so, she has made strides of independence on her own; even though she still nurses before naptime and bedtime, she unlatches awake and then falls asleep on her own (with me next to her; we are just starting to encourage her to be in bed by herself before she falls asleep). So I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel; you don't need to sleep-train a baby, they will grow out of it in their own time.

With most things concerning baby, I would follow the baby's choices. She is a smart babe and knows what she needs best!

Plus, it is the sweetest thing in the world to see a baby nursing to sleep; I am treasuring it with my 3-month-old!

You can read more advice, suggestions and information about nursing to sleep and comfort nursing at kellymom.com: http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.html

She is at the age for teething and when they are teething it is a miserable time for sleeping.

I don't know how you feel about binkies but that is when I finally gave in for my daughter. It made going to sleep a lot easier for her.

And get a "blankie", a special blanket that you nurse with her and lay down with her. It will smell like you and be warm.

I'm still nursing my 2 y/o to sleep. The way I see it, they grow up so very fast and there is nothing like the nursing relationship. I'm just not willing to give it up until DS is in agreement, and he isn't right now. AP & family bed kids tend to be a little slower to sleep on their own, to wean, etc. I think because they're really comfortable, and what's wrong with that? I figure that my sweet boy will decide all these things when he's ready. I have a friend who is in the Do Nothing camp that I'm in and her son has actually started going to sleep on his own. He's just short of 3 y/o and that might seem like an eternity away, but it's actually not at all. I feel like DS was 7 months yesterday even though I felt that 2 was an eternity away way back then.

As for tooth decay, one thing to remember is that breast milk has a ton of protective antibodies that make extended nursing and tooth decay less of an issue. I think tooth decay issues are more present for formula babes. And if she has no teeth now, let go of all that worry and enjoy you sweet little girl.

Hope that helps a little.

It sounds like my daughter, who is now eight and has been cavity free, and she night nursed until 3 1/2. I felt sleep was most important and how could I say no to something that she enjoyed and helped her to sleep. (I gave her a few days warning that we were going to be stoping, because she was biting and she stopped without fuss) Just last night, I was at a talk on Sensory Processing (Vancouver, Wa)and this very question came up. The parents were advised by the occupational therapist, to let the child continue. The sucking action helps to calm and re-organize the brain. When older children suck thier thumbs, or suck/chew on clothing, many times it is a way to help calm the nervous system and allows the brain to reorganize. I would suggest to listen to the advise on teaching self soothing and calming as your child grows. Based on what you have said, I am pretty sure that your daughter's nervous system is on overload. Do you do any Infant Massage? Experiment to see if light touch or heavy touch works best.