Sleep!! - Gainesville,FL

He is only 3 mths, weight has nothing to do with sleeping through the night. My 1st daughter started sleeping through the night at 6 mth when she started solid foods. My second slept throught the night at 14 mths for the first time after she got tubes put in her ear. My 3rd is 3mths and not sleeping through the night. I work too so I know how hard it is. I would not worry about it until he is older. yes more sleep would be better for you but he still needs that feeding. Don't rush it

Hi, I'm in the same boat as you. What I do sometimes which I tried w/my oldest and worked as a miracle was put in the beg. a quarter of a spoon of rice cereal in his warm milk at nighttime....many people may say it doesn't work. But for me it did. Eventually it became half and when older a spoonful...but w/my 3 month old it does work sometimes because he has an ongoing problem that his nose gets stuffy at night. But when it does work he sleeps till 6am. So, good luck!! and before I forget try giving him a warm bath w/one of those washing wipes for sleep from johnson and johnson...don't remember the name and then give him his milk and I hope he sleeps....

It's normal for him to still be waking up at night. He's only 3 months old. Just give it time. All babies are different. I have a 22 month old and a 4 month old. I don't work, but I too am tired. It's inevitable when you have little ones. Don't want to be depressing, but that's the sacrifice of being a mother. I'm just sorry that you have to deal with work at the same time. Good luck.

I will echo what most others have said here. It is perfectly normal for a 3 month to NOT sleep through the night. And PLEASE PLEASE do not let that poor baby cry it out!!! I don't personally believe in that EVER, but if you try that the baby should be AT LEAST 6 months old. Your peditrician will confirm that.

However, it is not normal for a baby that young to not nap during the day. Something is definitely going on there! Speak to your peditrician about it in case there is a medical issue and ask the daycare what on earth is going on! Are they not putting him in an environment that is conducive to sleep??? Good naps are absolutely necessary for good sleep. The adage is "sleep begets sleep" and it is absolutely true.

Definitely call your pediatrician for advice.

Best of luck to you!

He needs naps during the day for a good sleep at night. Parents think -- no naps -- then a good sleep -- wrong wrong wrong.

Naps are necessary for children up until the age of 3 or so.
After six months is when babies should be able to make it through a full night's sleep-- that's 11 p.m. until 5 or so -- that's a "night." Each child is unique -- but that's in general.

My middle daughter slept through the night until 3 months & then she was a regular baby -- waking up once at 2 a.m. for her nursing.

I'd be shocked if anyone who had a small infant who ALWAYS slept through the night. That would be one for the medical books!

The first year -- geez -- the first 5 years of life -- a child's sleep pattern will change & parents have to go with the flow & help -- aid -- give comfort. I wouldn't DARE call the shots with an infant until after 8 months (some say 6 but I waited until 8 mo.). The infants RULE until then. Go with their needs/desires -- but please encourage the poor child's naps during the day.

You have one of the MOST important jobs in the world. Follow your heart & your infant's directions. He's telling you exactly what he needs. Before worrying about night time sleep -- make sure he is getting those daytime naps!

I know you must be exhausted too! They grow up really really fast -- hang in there!

I would be more concerned if your child was NOT waking up through the night. At 3 months, most babies are still waking thru the night. The cry it out method is NOT recommended until at least 6 months old. Most kids will start to sleep thru the night around that time. But reality is this: almost every child will have bouts of sleeping thru the night, and then not sleeping thru the night throughout thier first 2 years. All depending on growth spurts, changes in routine, teething, and milestones.

To be honest, I am more concerned that your child does not nap. He is too young to not be napping during the day. Children this age need alot of sleep to help them develop, and I, personally, would be looking into why your child isnt napping throughout the day.

Keeping consistant is always the key, and its great that you already have a bedtime routine set up. I do agree that keeping nightime less active, quieter, and dimming the lights thru the house, if you can--are great ideas.

*hugz* You are not alone in this. And it will get better, I promise! :) I have to remind myself of that every so often too. Right now im going thru a 23 month old who is waking every 2 house at night. But normally, he will sleep thru the night. That did start about 6-8 months old. *hugz* Hang in there!

I'm more concerned that you said he doesn't nap during the day than the fact that at 3 months old he doesn't sleep through the night-- he is really young and should be sleeping and waking throughout a 24 hour period. Sounds like you need to be working with his day care provider and be consistant with him. You said you have "read all the books"-- again, that's a concern. Which books? There are sooooo many sleep theories and techniques out there-- you need to find one that works for you and your personal values and make sure your day care provider uses it, too. Secrets of the Baby Whisperer will teach you humane ways to get him to sleep properly so that he won't wake as much at night (though he still may wake once or twice to eat since he is ONLY 3 months old) and teach you how to make sure he is getting healthy naps

C.,

Have you read On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo? I read it and did what it said. My baby girl slept through the night at 8 weeks of age. Now, she' six months old and sleeps 11 to 11.5 hours a night. She also takes two naps during the day.

Some people don't like the Babywise philosophy maybe because it's parent-directed, not child-centered. I hear the sleep training you give them as babies lasts as they get bigger. How wonderful!

So, to us, training her to sleep early was very much worth it.

Hope this helps!

~N.

You said he DOESNT nap???? well... there is your problem... the more tired they are the harder it is for them to sleep and stay asleep... at this age they should be sleeping a total of 16 hours a day (more or less)... start with naps, make sure he takes 2 long naps (1.5 to 2 hours) and a cat nap at 5 for about 30 min. Read the baby whisperer... it is a great book

Hi C., I know what Dr. tell you, but when my son was a baby, he would eat and eat his bottle. Milk didn't satisfy him so I gave him soupy cereal at bedtime. He was 1 month old and he slept all night. Can you sleep if you are hungry? No. Think about your baby, when he wakes up in the middle of the night crying because he is hungry. A lot if people think Doctors know everything, but they don't. Now my son is 39 yrs. old, 6"1 and a fireman/paramedic, and I am very proud of him. MaryH.

C. I am a granmother and this might sound silly but it does work. Your son's biological clock is backwards.....he needs to be rolled feet over head clock wise....won't hurt him at all and it does work....try it...

What I am going to suggest is going to be the hardest thing you have ever heard...

Let your baby cry himself back to sleep. If you feel like you need to do SOMETHING for him, bring him a bottle of water, rub his back for a minute, and leave the room again.

Then there is the obvious - keep the room dark and quiet at night. Don't talk to him out loud at night at all. When you go to him, don't turn lights on.

During the day at nap time, play music, have other noise in the house, to help him know the difference between night and day. During the day when you go to him, talk to him brightly. Smile and pick him up when you go to him after his nap... at night, gently settle him down, but don't let him see you.... your hands can provide comfort in the dark, but never OUT of his bed...It shouldn't take long... a few nights of not being allowed to get up will show him how to go back to sleep when he wakes up during the night. You can even put him to bed with the bottle of water in the crib, and he will learn to find it in the dark if you don't go to him right away, and learn to soothe himself!

I am a mommy of four, have had countless sleepless nights, so you have my sympathy. I have a loving relationship with all of them, who are mostly teenagers now, so I can assure you that they all get through it just fine... it doesn't hurt them as much as it hurts us to teach them this.

Not everyone likes the program (it can be hard at first until you get used to it).. but have you read "On Becoming Babywise"? I used that method for both our babies. You feed, play, then sleep. Not feed sleep play. Our oldest slept "all" night (6 hours or more straight) by 12/13 weeks. Our youngest did it around 7 weeks. It IS possible, despite a lot of people's ideas that it just doesn't happen. It can. But it takes work to stick with the method in the beginning. The same thing with naps. And I don't know ANYbody who had a baby who didn't take naps at all. Maybe they are not structured for 2 hour increments... but doesn't your baby sleep AT ALL during the day? If not, take that up with your doctor... there is some issue there.
Good luck and hang in there.
PS
both ours were breastfed, so don't think that breastfeeding excludes them sleeping thru the night...

re Update:
I would say that 8pm is your baby's bedtime.. that midnight feeding is just that.. a middle of the night feeding. I would do all of the "bedtime routine" stuff before you put him down at 8 pm. When he wakes at 11 or midnight, don't play or behave the same as you would during the day. Feed, burp, change... right back to sleep.. doing it all quietly in the darkened room (preferably do not leave the nursery for any of it).. Don't go thru the bedtime routine all over again. Be sure to put him in his bed still barely awake... you don't want to rock him until he goes to sleep (well, you do b/c we mommies like that, but you don't because it doesn't encourage him to learn how to go to sleep on his own..) .
I can't recommend enough the "On Becoming BabyWise" book. Before you know it.. he'll be sleeping from his 8 pm bedtime until 2 or 3 am. Then that 2 or 3 am feeding will gradually get later and later as he pushes back and drops subsequent feedings....

My son was very curious about EVERYTHING from the moment he was born. The only way I could get him to easily nap was that the house went quiet, the world stopped, when it was nap time. Kids this age are easily stimulated so the less you have going on the more likely they are to fall asleep.

Is he warm enough? Put him in fleece pjs, I was amazed how much of a difference it makes. Also let him cry longer, it killed me at first but I had to, to get things done. What does the doctor say? Good luck, Jen

Honestly... there is not much you can do. He is only 3 months and babies control their own sleep pattern. you will just have to hang in there. He will eventually sleep through the night.

They are grandparents and probably going in there right away not wanting him to fuss or cry at all when he starts crying and teaching him that when he cries, they come. And though he needs to nap, he would rather see them!
There are two solutions that they can do--the first one, which will have the quickest results, but will be the hardest for them--is to have them let him cry. He should stay in his crib (or PNP or wherever you have him) for the regular nap time--crying or sleeping. When naptime is over, then they can go get him...
If they can't do that, Have them wait at least 15 min...and then go in to comfort and get him to calm down and then immediately put him back down again---leave the room--no lingering (even if he is crying), wait 15 min etc. They should continue to do this as long as his nap should be (1 -1 1/2 hours) The first day will be the hardest (I recommend looking at the clock too because 15 min is a LONG time when a baby is crying), but each day will get better and depending on his temperament, he will be napping much better in 3-7 days!
It's important that they do this though consistently or it will just get worse if they let him cry once and then decide to go get him and not put him back down again.

Please know that you are not doing anything wrong. Some kids don't sleep through the night until they are 2 years old or older. It will happen. This is just the way things are for now. Get as much sleep as you can and do the best you can and be at peace and be patient with yourself and your beautiful little boy who needs you so much.
Love,
A.

Are you feeding him in the middle of the night? That was one of the 1st things I stopped doing that helped. My thought is that if they're getting enough nutrition during the day, nighttime feedings are a burden. Some really bad advice is to put him in the bed with you. It helped me get sleep, but then I had to break my daughter of the habbit. Kind of a catch 22, ya know? Now if my daughter wakes up in the middle of the night, I pick her up, rock her back to sleep, and put her back in her crib. Last night she started whining, but put herself back to sleep- it was great! Not sure if you're married or have another person in the house, but if you do ask them to tend to baby for maybe one night a week. My husband does that sometimes and it's like a birthday present :) Feel fantastic the next day! Good luck!

Hi, C.
It sounds like you're doing all the right things as far as bedtime routine. My only suggestion is to keep doing what you're doing. My 14-mo-old daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was a year old. Some babies just don't. She never napped much either. Now she takes two a day. My heart goes out to you as I know how exhausting it is. I stay at home and was tired, I can't imagine working full time on top of it. Is he in daycare? Do they have a strict routine with him during the day? Routine is key. Sometimes it takes a while to get them to cooperate, but you won't regret it if you keep it up. Good luck and blessings to you....

Just FYI, my son didn't sleep through the night until 8.5 months old. But every baby is different. I have 2 neighbors and their children slept through the night at 5-6 months. Good luck and hang in there.

He's still very young to be sleeping through the night - my daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 6-months old and I work too so I understand what you're going through and what you're feeling...

The question would be have you sleep trained your son? That is going to help him to develop the skill to fall asleep on his own and not rely on your to get back asleep. If you haven't done that then that would your next step - you can read the book "Sleeping through the night" by Jodi Mindell. It will give you some great ideas and suggestions of how to train him.

The next thing you have got to do is get him to take naps - the book will also address those issues. But I've learned that a baby that sleeps good during the day will sleep good at night. At 3-months I shocked that he isn't napping a few times a day! Whoever is watching your baby, needs to get him to sleep even if it means to rock him to a sleepy state and then put him down. It's easier to get them to nap after you train them to sleep at night. But, I can bet that this is one of your major issues with him waking up so much at night.

If you are breastfeeding him, they take longer to sleep through the night also. You can supplement with formula at night and that would be heavier on his stomach which could make him sleep better.

Good luck, but give him little bit more time! It will pass and you'll be back to feeling like yourself again soon :)

Sounds like me. My son is almost 7 mons old. Fighting his naps and wakes up about 3 times during night. Sometimes just to comfort nurse. When he has a bath and a nighty on rather than a onesie he only wakes up about once. I work full-time too and feel sleep deprived at times. I try to nap when he does but normally that is when I try to get some housework done. Hoping it gets better. He doesn't nap at all during the day? You would think he'd be tired out and sleep better at night. Keep being consistent with your routine. I rock him to sleep, he likes that and usually sleeps with less wake ups. Good luck.

C.,
I am sure you are exhausted. To answer your question in your response... I am not an expert on sleeping (to say the least), but one thing I have figured out is that the day time nap is VERY important. Otherwise they are over tired. Learning how to self sooth is also important. How you get there depends on the child.
Sorry I am not more help. Good luck

Just hang in there...the time goes sooo fast! I was in the same boat a little over a year ago and it does get better. Just go at his pace and enjoy your time together. We started letting our girl cry when she woke up at night at around 8 months. A lot of people do it sooner. Maybe try letting him cry at one of his normal feeding times in the p.m. or replacing the milk with water. Let me know how it goes!
J. (growlittlebaby.com)

I think it is normal for a three month old to wake up at night sometimes. My biggest suggestion would be to let him cry a little bit to see it he falls back asleep. Sometimes, they get used to waking up at night and don't want to lose that cuddle time with Mommy. Also, who is he with during the day? Why is he not taking naps. A baby that young needs to sleep during the day too. That may be interrupting his sleep at night. I would work with your daycare or whoever is watching your child to try to get him on a naptime schedule. This may help. Other than that, you may just have to deal with it and realize you are probably going to be tired a lot. I have a four year old and a two year old and my two year old wakes up every once in a while just because he wants to see me but it gets better and you will get through it. Try not to get frusturated and try to enjoy this time you have with him.
M.

Hi C.,

I feel your pain. My son is now almost 23 months but he did not sleep through the night until about a year old and then sometimes he would still wake up. I always kept nighttime very boring. Just get down to business. No lights on and no talking. I finally also had to let him cry it out. It was terrible to gO through but after a few nights it was better. Some babies don't require as much sleep as others. He also maybe going through a growth spurt and needs that extra at night.

how many times is he waking up in the night? if it is just once than you may have to go with it. just make sure you feed him and put him back and let him cry it out!!!! that's the key. put him on a strict eating schedule.
it will get better!!!!! hang in there.

Want to come to my free Infant Massage class? Receiving loving touches and soothing massage from you will make a difference for you and your baby boy. Babies typically sleep better and adjust to smooth state transitions, perhaps it is the stimulus to the whole nervous system which is filling in so rapidly at his age. If you live in Orlando, mark your calendar and call me today for more information ###-###-#### ###-###-####. It is a 3 session class: next Wednesday August 28 and the following Wednesday and Thursday September 3 and 4 from 11:45- 1:00pm near the intersection of Aloma Avenue and St. Andrews Blvd. It is well worth telling your employer you're requesting 3 long lunch hours to give this gift to you and your child. Here's to better sleep for the both of you.
Sincerely,
Helen Moses, Certified Parent Educator of Infant Massage for over 20 years....the class is offered free of charge but typically costs $75- 100 for 5 session group class or $125 for private instruction. See my business listing.

I can't help but notice a lot of moms recommending to give your baby water. I wanted to share this info and tell you to NEVER give water to a baby under 6 months old. The link below is to an article about the potentially lethal affects of giving a baby water under 6 months.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24760916/
That being said, I have to agree that he probably won't sleep through the night until he starts napping during the day. Good luck!!

Check into all the advice you get from everybody about adjusting baby's schedule...(within normal, reasonable limits)

Meanwhile: get somebody to watch baby for a little while in the evening so you can catch a nap! Eat at your desk and nap at lunchtime at work. Get help! Because - not all newborns read the manual that says babies sleep a lot. Mine didn't. So - you may need to find some survival skills to cope if baby just won't adjust his schedule.

Good luck! And - advice from this gramma - remember, this too SHALL pass...only when you are so tired, it is hard to remember how temporary this is...no matter what else: find a way to get YOU some rest!!! Good luck.

Ouch. I feel your pain. I have a 3 yr old and an 11 week old. Unfortunately most babies are going to wake at some point during the night for a while. The best you can do is go to bed as soon as your LO is down. Maybe back up the bedtime a little earlier so you can get in bed earlier. When your LO wakes up keep it simple. If you are not giving a bottle then pat him, give a little comfort and back to sleep. If you are giving a bottle or BFing then feed him in the room, lights out, no TV, no extra stimulation and right back to bed after eating. I try not to even change my sons diaper when he wakes for his feeding as not to stimulate him too much.

I am BFing so he wakes more to eat. I have found that as soon as I hear him grunting and moving around and I know he is getting there then I feed him while he is still partially sleeping. Then he never has a chance to fully wake up screaming mad because he is hungry.

I suppose you could do the cry it out method..but I have a 3 yr old and it never worked for him. Personally I just think the CIO method just teaches them that you are not going to come when they need you. Just MHO
T.

ETA - I just re read it and noticed that your son DOES NOT nap. Wow, that is probably a major issue with his resting at night. A baby needs sleep, period. The less they get, the worse they sleep at night. A 3 month old should still be napping off and on most of the day. That lil man needs a nap momma!!

C.,
My baby is three months old and I was having the same problem. I got the book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber. He's the director at the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders in Boston. The man is a GENIUS. I had my baby sleep trained in one night and have regained some sanity. If you haven't read this book, it is definitely worth the time. I already knew what my baby's problem was and resolved the problem and am not even a third into the book. It is the 'cry it out method' but he hates that description because it's much more than that. Best of luck.
L.

Okay C....I need to ask - What are you feeding him? He is old enough to get a little rice cereal. Maybe he is hungry. After his routine bath, rub him down with some of that bedtime lavender baby lotion and then give him a nice warm bottle with some rice cereal in it. This should make him nice and comfortable and full and he will have no choice but to sleep.
This is what I did with my own kids (3) and I never had a problem with them sleeping thru the night.
If you have any more questions, give me a call ###-###-####.

C.,

I really feel for you. I know as a first time mom it can be hard knowing what to do. I read a book called "Dr. Denmark said it". This was written by a mom of 10 children who used an old fashioned dr. named Denmark. I know a lot of doctors are against putting a baby on its tummy, but that truly is the way a baby feels most secure. When they are on their backs, they have a feeling of falling and they makes them afraid. Also, does your baby have gas? We use an all natural product called gripe water and it worked wonders for us. Can buy it at CVS, Walgreens, or health food stores. Not napping during the day is not normal, this could be your problem. Waking up once is normal, but our fist has been a good sleeper and did sleep through the night most nights from the very beginning, but every baby is different. These are the things that Dr. Denmark suggest and we used them and they worked for us. Hope this helps you as well.

T.

unfortunately my daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was about 12 months old. I tried EVERYTHING. Although when she was little, the book that helped me the most was "Happiest Baby on the Block." Also, eventually you just have to let them cry it out, but at 3 months they are way to little for that. Good luck.

I hate to say it, but it is normal for him not to sleep through the night yet. I know it is tough, but it will not last forever. You will get through this and will hardly remember what it was like to survive on no sleep.

If he does not settle into a longer sleeping routing by 4-6 months of age, at that time you can introduce a "sleep training" method. But, he needs to be at least four months old (sounds like he is already a good weight, so that should not be problem). Talk to your pediatrician at his 4-month check-up. Mine recommended a modified version of the Ferber method, as my son was still waking every TWO hours like clockwork (oh yes, I was working full time and a walking zombie). Sleep training worked for us and he has been sleeping like a champ ever since.

In the meantime, try the routines that some of the other moms have recommended, but realize that may not fix he problem, and this may just be a fact of life (part of motherhood) for now.

I know most newborns sleep a lot during the day, but neither of mine ever did. They were always very alert day babies at that age (I called them "never-nappers") But, try to get him on a least one nap if you can, two would be ideal.

(P.S. just noticed you are in Gainesville, too. Gainesville Pediatric Associates at NFRMC is where I got the info on sleep training. They were very helpful and supportive throughout the process and let me know it was so important to a baby's development to get a good night's sleep beginning at 4-6 months of age. Dr. Beebe is wonderful. I had to "doctor shop" until I found him as I was unhappy with our first two pediatricians with my older son.)

There is your problem. If he is not napping at all during the day he is overly tired to sleep at night. But 3 month old should not be sleeping through the night. I don't even think bottle feed ones do. Waking up once is normal. But he should be taking 2-3 2 hour naps a day. I would check with your daycare provider to see if you both can see what the problem is. It is not healthly for a baby that age to not nap at all durning the day.

Hi C.. I feel your pain. I also work full time and my daughter was waking up in the middle of the night at 3 months. She was always a great night sleeper from birth. Around 3 month things started to change. She started to regress…waking up around 2AM instead of 4AM. At her 4 month pediatrician visit I got the OK for solids. After just a few days of afternoon cereal she has been sleeping until 6AM. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this will continue. Just hang in there for another month or so until you get the OK for solids. I do not agree with the cereal in the bottle. Babies need to know the difference between eating and drinking.
We also have a napping issue; it's a nightmare in my house. My daughter does not take the usual mid morning and mid afternoon naps everyone talks about. She takes little cat naps throughout the day. At her 4 month visit I asked the pediatrician about this and he said that at her age she needs a total of 14-16 hours of sleep per day. My mother watches her while I work and will sometimes put her in her swing when she is tired and this helps. She'll usually sleep for 30 min. Then she will sometimes fall asleep in my mom’s arms or on her activity mat for 15 min or so. If you add it all up she is getting the proper amount of sleep just on her terms.

C.,
I don't really have any advise...except to hang in there! My son is 3 months also and still waking once or twice a night. I also just started back at work and yes it is tiring. But keep up the routine and he should get the hang of it. Does he go back to sleep easily at night when he wakes?