I have a delightful 4 month old baby who is a terrific sleeper at night. He sleeps in his own crib and sleeps generally from 7pm to 7am with only one early morning feeding. He's pretty good at putting himself to sleep at night without me having to rock him or hold him.
During the day, it's a whole other ball game. He will generally only sleep for 20-30 minutes at a time in his crib. Even if I hold him, he won't sleep for very long. I always try to settle him when he wakes up to get him back to sleep, but that never works. The only way I can get him to sleep for longer is if I lie down with him on my bed and then he'll sleep for 2 hours. On most days when I have him sleep only in his crib, he will only take 3 or 4 naps totaling about an hour to an hour and a half of sleep.
I know that some babies are natural catnappers, but my little boy always cries when he wakes from his naps and seems exhausted between naps. He generally can't stay awake for more than an hour before he's cranky and ready to sleep again. I've kept track of his day sleeping, and his naps don't seem to have much of a schedule. I don't know what to do for my little guy to help him sleep better during the day. By the end of the day, he's a wreck and is so exhausted he doesn't know what to do with himself. Has anyone else worked with a baby resistant to napping? What have you done to help your baby sleep? Any suggestions are welcome!
OH MY GOSH. Its like I wrote this! My daughter is nearly 6 months old & has been doing this for months! The only thing that worked was forgetting about 2 naps like all the books said & just putting her down mid-day. But I don't so much have an answer for you as I have empathy. I know what you're going through & I'm sorry!!!
My baby also did not nap. I wish I was told about the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby sooner!! Of course it's hard to find time to read the book wher the baby is not sleeping, but it is definitly worth it!
Wow, lucky you to have a good night sleeper. My daughter woke up all the time and it was rough. Her day naps were okay but to help me understand her needs better, I read a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. It was very informative and helpful in alot of ways but take only what you need for you child and family. The book has alot of good advice but can be somewhat overwhelming. The one thing I liked about the book was its emphasis on the importance of naps and sleep. It made alot of sense. Good luck to you and your family.
G. A.
Hi T.,
When my son was this age I had the same issue. I would nurse him and when he would fall asleep I would gently put him in his car seat. He loved sleeping in it. I think it made him feel like he as nice and snug. I would also use his swing when he would start to get fussy. This allowed me to get some much needed rest during the day. I would also recommend really paying attention to his sleepy signs - yawming and/or fussiness. As soon as you see these signs and you know that he has been fed and has a fresh diaper then put him down. When I put my son in his crib I give him his pacifier and I let him hold my finger for a few minutes. Once he has drifted off I slip away. Once he started solids it was easier for me to get him onto a loose schedule which revolved around when he woke up in the morning. Good luck to you and congrats on your little one!!
P.S. The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer is a great book.
Hi T.,
I LOVE the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems because she explains that sleep issues often arise from other things. She recommends a feeding and sleeping schedule that really works as both of my kids used it and have been great sleepers since they were 3 months old. We hit a snag at around 4 months because we got them on the 3 hour eating and sleeping schedule, but a 4 month old apparently needs to be a 4 hour eating and sleeping schedule. We switched to the 4 hour schedule and sure enough everything was back on track! If you still have nap issues after that, the book has a whole section on identifying why your son isn't sleeping and how to resolve the problem. I can't say enough good things about it!
Good luck,
C.
Hi T.,
Aw your story sounds so familiar to mine.. Only not to scare you at about 6 months when my little guy started rolling from back to tummy his night time sleeping was just as bad as his day time sleeping...I still haven't gotten that under control....But thankfully I was able to keep his naptime schedule in tack, but it took me about a week to get working.
What's happening is they are waking up during their active part of their sleep and having a hard time resettling. Sometimes its just a thing they master like any other milestone, but I was able to get my son to sleep to at least 1 hour, and now he sleeps 2 hours. But let me tell you I was tired of having to sleep with him too!! He had to rub my face to fall asleep and stay asleep.
Unfortunately his afternoon naps aren't as easy...But what I did was first I had to wait until he was unbarablly tired. He usually started showing signs of being tired about an 1.5 after waking up so I pushed him to the 2hr mark (but I'd have to be careful not to wait too long or he will be too overstimulated) It became my art to figure out when to put him down. Once I got that down. Then I did the whole bedtime routine minus the bath, and also made his room as pitch black as possible. The first couple of days he still woke up, but I would run in there the first peep rock him until he was drowsy and his eyes were half open and the set him back down. He;s always starts stirring at 45 min to the T so sometimes I would sneak in at the 40 min mark kind of stir him, and then resettle and he slept for another hour. Recently I've found though that he needs a good 2 hour nap. And only by accident I've found he sleeps better on my bed, but without me. I nurse set him down and he puts him self to sleep. I've only discovered this because he's crib was recalled and I can't get him to sleep in the pack n play. For my son the motion of setting him down sets him off. So just slidding him over its as if I am still holding him. The only bad thing is I am constantly checking on him. Nervous about him being on the bed.
Oh my I did't realize I was rambling I'am so sorry!!! The basic thing is you need to work with him on transitioning during the day time from those sleep cycles. With my son the problem was during the day when he woke up or stirred he saw everything and that was it. At night he would do the same thing but couldn't see anything and would toss and turn a little bit and then conk back out...I hope this helps these sleep issues are so miserable I know!!!
If u have n questions let me know? I 2 am a 1st time mom just trying to get thru the days.BTW my lil' guy is just 7mths..
Hi T.!
I think you're very lucky to have your little one sleep so well during the night. Alot of babies, the majority, don't usually do that. So, congratualtions on establishing on of the most difficult challenges of newborns :o)
It sounds like the nap routine is just needed to be adjusted. I always thought that when my boys weren't being successful with something, that it was time for another routine.
You have some great advice already. My only experience is that my boys did the same thing for a short period of time. I just soothed them, and tried to work through it. It was eventually over. Sometimes they just need to eat more often and need to wake for it :o)
I just wanted to say something to let you know that this sounds very normal to me.
Good Luck!
:o) N.
I have a 13 month old son and went through the same thing. Unfortunately, it is normal. He will start to sleep more when he eats more solid foods and then even more when he is moble. Keep your head up, I know it is exhausting. My there is hope, my 13 month old now takes two naps a day totaling 3 to 4 hours. He started longer naps about 10 months old. Hang in there!
Hi T.,
I didn't read all of your responses, so I don't know if this is redundant.
I have read about 4 sleep books (searching for the magic answer). Ok, it sounds like he is waking right after a sleep cycle and he is not really rested. I have found that with my boy too. So what I do is when he wakes from a nap and it has only been about 40 minutes, I nurse him back to sleep. I don't speak, unless he needs soothing, and I sort of stay neutral. It works best on his afternoon naps. There have been times I walk in there and I think 'oh, there is no way he is going back to sleep' but he does. I figure he is just confused a bit and needs some help.
The other method is to not go to him when he wakes, and let him cry it out. I am not into that. If you are into books I really liked "the no-cry sleep solution." She explains sleep cycles and she gives commonsense tips.
Good luck!
Wow, my son did the exact same thing and slept great 7-7 during the night, which was greatand had really short cat type naps during the day. Drove me crazy because all my friends babies slept greatat nap time. What I remember, is every 3 hours after being awake he needs a nap. So consistantly, he should go down 10 am, 2pm and might do a short 30 min nap afternoon 4pm?? I ended up putting on classical music during his naps, after 15 min. he would be asleep and sometimes I would nap him in the swing, which was a savior. Those two things really worked well, you might want to try some white noise, the babies really fall asleep fast. I knew that wouldn't last forever, but in a few months he will be on just 2 naps, but it is frustrurating because just when you think you can get something done, his nap is over...and 20 - 30 min naps are not long enough, but be thankful he sleeps good all night, you do have that night to rest time. It won't last forever, my son now is 2.5 and takes a great 2 hour nap 1-3 everyday and still sleeps great at night 8:30 -8: am. Good luck
If you believe in crying it out, I'd let him cry up to 45 min for nap. He should be taking 3 naps, first 2 naps are 2 hours each, 3rd can be 45 min. If he cries up to the 45 min, then keep him awake for an hour, then put him down again. If he falls asleep, and wakes up under an hour, let him cry for 20 min. Then keep him up for an hour and put him down again. This is what my sleep consultant taught me. Good luck.
I think a lot of moms would love to trade places with you...a full nights sleep! You're going to hear this over and over I'm sure. My son slept through the nights just like your's and took short naps during day till he was a few more months older than your baby and then the naps were fewer and longer. Could just be the age of your baby and every baby is different truthfully. Have you tried a swing? Even try placing swing in different locations around the house to see if it helps. Sometimes the constant motion keeps them sleeping longer and of course the music or sounds it makes lulls them. Sometimes though, just when things get a little better their bodies change again and they adopt new patterns.
From a mom who's had 2 HORRIBLE sleepers....day and night, i'd say you are very luck to get the 7-7 night sleep! I know that doesn't help with the nap issue, but remember it could be worse. I've read every sleep book on the planet(and tried all advice) and found my kids were just not good sleepers as babies. My doctor told me there are about 5% of babies who just won't nap and apparently I was in the lucky 5. I found that the "Ferber" method worked at night(eventually), but not so great at day time. Just know it will get better. My kids are 4 and 2 now and sleep great(FINALLY)! Still am lucky to get 9 hours out of them at night, but if they're sleeping thru, I'm happy! Hang in there.
My daughter is 4 months old also and takes very short naps. Opposite of her 2 1/2 year old brother who took great naps. Since he is sleeping through the night and getting a full 12 hours, I might push his bedtime back and see if that encourages him to sleep more during the day. With babies, if they are tired they will fall asleep. He probably doesn't want to miss anyting:-) I have yet to put my 4 month old on a schedule, I'm letting her set the schedule I will put her on very soon. She's up between 7-8am, naps around 9:30am for about 45 min. is up for another few hours and is down again around 1pm etc. Enjoy getting your full nights sleep and know he will take longer naps soon. He is going through a lot of growing and his body is all over the place. If you want him to nap so you get a break, put him in a jumpee or a saucer or bouncy to give yourself some time. My daughter loves her saucer and has just learned to roll the ball that is on there. Well good luck and remeber he will eventually take good naps.
Hi T.,
I HIGHLY recommend reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He explains biological sleep rhythms and when/how they evolve/mature. You didn't say when you are putting him down for his naps, but what Dr. Weissbluth recommends is keeping the period of wakefulness no more than 2 hours. Which means having him back in his bed to nap within 2 hours of waking. As he is getting older you will also want to start moving his bedtime earlier. At 4 months old my daughter was going to sleep by 6:30-7pm and waking between 6:30-7:30am without waking at night. She would nap for at least 1 hour by 9am, another nap around 1pm (for at least an hour) and a short nap around 4pm. When I noticed her sleeping longer at that late afternoon nap I eliminated it and moved her bedtime to around 5:30-6pm. All times are adjustable depending on how the night time and nap sleep goes. If a baby is awake too long they are unable easily fall asleep. I would try an extra early bedtime for the short term to help him "catch up" on his sleep and make it easier to nap. Try keeping the intervals between the naps really short. Dr. Weissbluth is big on learning to read your baby's sleepy signs. One of the biggest ones is they become very quiet and still BEFORE they become overtired. Once they are fussing, crying and yawning it may be too late. It is amazing how different a baby can be when they are getting the most restorative sleep they can. Email me if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
L.
Read baby wise - you can get it at any book store and your problems will be solved within 2 weeks! Make sure your baby is sleep trained which is in the book or your asking for sleepless nights in the future. Try giving him gripe water - it's natural - ask your doctor about it - a lot of baby's at that age have digestive problems and it helps soothe his belly and gas.
Congrats on your little guy! Also, congrats on the sleeping 12 hours a night!
My advice is: flexible schedule. I read the book "Babywise" when my son was just a few days old, and while I definitely would not recommend the book whole-heartedly, I took some important tips from it. They say to get your baby on a schedule in this order: sleep, eat, play, repeat. They recommend starting at birth, but it is definitely not too late to try. I don't know what it is about it, but that worked.
We moved across the country when my son was about 3 months old, and for the next 2 months our lives were a little chaotic as we got settled and unpacked. For a while he was not napping well, and i thought i was going to go completely nuts. The other thing I *eventually* got out of that book was the concept of the "45-minute intruder". For some reason, many kids wake up part way into their nap and just fuss for a while. The important thing I realized is that if I go to check on him, the nap is over. If I ignore him--admittedly difficult--he will cry for a few minutes, but eventually go back to sleep and sleep for another hour or more! If your son is looking tired after the nap, this is probably what is going on. Try letting him fuss it out, even if he is loud and it breaks your heart.
A couple of other thoughts: sleep begets sleep, so the more rested he is the better he'll sleep the next time; since he sleeps well in his crib at night, it's probably ok to try him napping in the car seat or swing, if you think it would help; there is nothing wrong with napping with him, you probably need it most days!
Good luck!
I felt like I was reading my own bio. My 6 month old boy went through the same thing at 4 months. Some call it the 4-Month Wakeful Period. It took about a good month for my boy to take great naps. He went from 3-4 thirty minute naps to 2 two hour naps each day...and still get 7-7 sleep. For his naps, I did the same nightime ritual, excluding the bath. I darkended his room, played soft music, books, quiet time, bottle, sometimes swaddle then put him to bed. If he woke up before forty minutes, I let him cry for about 10 minutes. Sometimes he'll go back to sleep. I start this ritual about every 1.5-2 hours of his wakeful period. Don't give up. It'll be hard, but well worth it. He doesn't wake up from his naps screamming and crying anymore. Good luck.
Hi T.,
Here's what to do (might take a few days to get him settled):
Make sure his routine fall in this order-feeding time, then wake time, then nap time. So, he should eat and then stay awake for a bit until he seems tired. This may only be a total of an hour from the time he wakes up. Then put him to sleep but don't rock him or anything like that. Just stick him in bed and let him work it out.
He should wake up around the time of his next feeding which should be no less than 2 1/2 hours from the beginning of his last feeding - usually 3 to 3 1/2 hours from previous feeding. Then feed him, play with him, and put him back to bed.
If he is having a hard time falling asleep it may be from being awake too long and becoming overstimulated. Try reducing his wake time by about 15 minutes and see if this helps.
Most of the time the reason babies have trouble sleeping for more than a few minutes is due to reversing the order of the routine and putting the baby to sleep right after eating.
This has worked for every single baby I have ever taken care of, including both of mine (I have a 10 week old and a 10 year old).
Oh, also helpful which it seems like you have down is to have a scheduled first feeding of the day. This will help your baby's metabolism settle into healthy cycles. Try to keep it within a half hour (like between 6:30 and 7 am). If he wakes up at 5 am to eat then feed him and put him back to bed but be sure to wake him at 7 to eat and start your day.
I hope this helps!
E.
I just wanted to chime in to agree with Erin's response. This method worked a charm with both of my babies as well as my nieces and nephews. Our entire extended family uses this method and it has never failed. One thing she didn't mention is when he wakes up too soon, just let him fuss it out a bit. Just like you and I may wake and toss and turn abit then fall back asleep, babies will too (they just can't toss and turn yet so they fuss). Since you didn't start from birth, Erin is correct in saying it may take a week or so to set up the new routine/expectations with your little guy, but be consistent and you will both be much happier for it!
be happy you have a great night sleeper- it seems if you have a good napper then you have a not so great night sleeper or vice versa- I have a good napper and not so good night sleeper. I would advise laying down with your little one to make sure he gets that good nap he and you need- maybe with time he will learn to nap better. get a bed rail to keep him safe in your bed
good luck
Hi T.,
Sounds just like our little girl at 4 months (she's 10 months old now). We tried Elizabeth Pantley's suggestions in "The No Cry Sleep Solution" -- www.pantley.com/elizabeth/. What I did was really try to cater to her schedule for a week, watching for sleepy signs and trying to get her to nap as soon as she seemed tired (she'd get a little crabby or rub her eyes, pull on her ears, scratch her head). After a week or so I saw a pattern and could plan around those nap times. She still only napped 30 minutes if left to sleep by herself, usually 3 times a day.
To extend her naps I'd lay down with her in the afternoon and breast-feed her back to sleep when she woke up. Very time consuming, but at least she got the sleep she needed (usually a 2 hour afternoon nap) and was happy in the evenings. Now, 6 months later, she's napping twice a day. Still only 30 minutes in the morning and usually 2 hours in the afternoon. But for the 2-hour afternoon nap after 30 minutes she wakes up and I have to breast feed her back to sleep.
It's time consuming and don't know what one does with more than one child or if you aren't home all day. But I was able to take the time, and she'll be grown up before I know it, so I'm happy we took that approach. We couldn't stomach the cry-it-out method, and it didn't seem to make sense since she was such a good night time sleeper.
Good luck!
H.
My son was the same way, slept great thru the night but was a total catnapper during the day.. It wasn't until he started becoming more active (ie rolling, crawling) that we were ablet o get him on a schedule with longer naps.. he's now 14 months and will take a 2-4 hr nap everyday! Be glad he's sleeping thru the night at least!! Good luck and it will get better
We had this with our son. Great sleeper at night, but woke up after a half hour nap. So around a half hour when we knew he'd wake up, we'd hover around or actually lie down next to him if he were in our bed, and when he woke up we'd immediately nurse, rock or whatever it was that got him right back to sleep. After doing this for a few weeks, he finally slept through and made it an hour.
you need to get him on a schedule, even if you need to give him two naps a day. try keeping him awake when he is fallling asleep by playing with him. it is best to give him a schedule in the beginning so he has consistency in his life and you have a routine that you can live with. once i got my two little ones on my daily routine it was better for them and me too.
Hi T.,
An old friend with 4 kids told me this: there are three things you can't force a child to do: eat, sleep and poop. My youngest didn't nap much, was often exhausted and cranky. Thank your lucky stars that he sleeps so much at night and almost straight through. And just when you think you have it all worked out his sleeping habits will change again. Good luck!
Hi T.,
I have an 18 month old, Cole & he was generally a better napper than a night sleeper. Looking back, you're lucky he sleeps well at night. The only thing I can think of are his feedings. Is he eating pretty well during the day or is he waking up hungry (are you nursing)? The one thing that always put my son back to sleep was nursing/bottle. Doctors will say it's a bad habit but it was my life saver.
Sorry I wasn't too helpful but I remember when Cole was at that stage and I felt so helpless. Also, Sarah's response below is very helpful. True, the more sleep the better. I was reading Baby Whisperer which recommended the same thing...eat, play and sleep. I never got into this routine for some reason but wish I did cause he would have never gotten into the habit of feeding to sleep.
I think once you overcome this, another change will occur. At 6 mos., Cole started teething & stopped sleeping through the night. Don't want to scare you but it's a constant change and I've gotten used to it :)
Good luck!
Best,
S.
Hi T.,
My daughter was a catnapper too. Finally at 7 months, I started putting her down religiously in her crib at 10am and 2pm... and letting her cry it out when she would wake up after her "20 minute" nap. It only took a week or so for her to settle into a predictable routine, napping for an hour-and-a-half at each naptime. Might work for your son too.
Have you considered wearing a baby bjorn (sp?) or a sling with him in it during the day? He will sleep in it if he is close to your body and you can go about your day doing what you need to do. He spent the first nine months of his life inside of you, so he is used to the rocking and motion of your body movement throughout your everyday life. Studies have also shown that infants who have this kind of natural physical contact during the day are smarter. He will be sooo happy. I had my baby girl in a sling or baby bjorn untill she started to crawl.
