Single Motherhood

Being a single parent is by far one of the toughest things in the world. I have been a single parent of three for almost 6 years and although i have help from my parent sometimes its just not enough.
Do you think you could be depressed? I have been battling depression and it has not been easy. They put me on Zoloft for a while and that helped a lot. I'm doing better now, but i have my days where i wonder if i'm ever going to get thru it.
Just live life one day at a time, teach her the values you want her to have, give her all the love she needs, and before you know it she'll be 13 and doing typical teenage stuff that drives you nuts LOL =P
You got a long hard road ahead of you, but it will eventually get easier. Once the divorce is final, you'll feel better.
A. Allen

I was a single mom for the first 16 months of my oldest daughters life (she is 7 now), and yes the holidays are very hard, but just hang in there. Just think of every little thing you do as a small victory (I even mean little things like the laundry and dishes etc.) and then at the end of the day look at how all your small victories add up. Do things that are fun to you, and do things for yourself also. Sometimes as single parents our lives only revolve around our children and we forget to take care of ourselves-you can do it. If you ever wanta talk get ahold of me at ____@____.com good luck

E.
It will get better with time. I was there a few years ago during the holidays. It was tough but I surrounded myself around my family and friends It was my comfort zone until I felt confident being by myself. Shoot I stayed with one of my best friends almost every night instead of sleeping in my own house It was easier knowing that someone else was there good luck

Hi E., I'm sure a lot of woman have been there, done that. I know I have! My husband and I separated over 2 years ago, I had an almost 3 year old and I was 2 months pregnant. The essential elements you need being a single mom are not only courage, but a good support system of family members, friends and church family. I get no financial help from their dad.
I had no degree, but started school when I was 6 months pregnant. My due date was the day before my last final. Luckily I held out and delivered 3 days after my final. I took the next semester off, then got right back into it. Now, I'm almost done with my associates. My daughter is 5 and my son is 20 months. They go to daycare/school every day while I'm at work. School comes after they're in bed. I take mostly online classes. I have one class a week that I have to go to, 6pm-10pm, and I get a sitter. I use part of my college loan money to pay for a sitter. It's not easy, I won't lie to you, but it's SO rewarding. You may need public assistance for a time, there's no shame in it. That's what it's there for. A temporary assistance until you are financially ready to handle things yourself. (it gets a bad rap when people rely on it for extended periods of time to be lazy) For example, I get assistance for daycare because I'm in a school program and could never afford it myself. The kids also have Healthy Kids insurance because my job doesn't offer health insurance.
My point is, you can do it! Women do it every day, you are just as strong as they are. It will take some time getting used to it of course, your daughter will thrive in a happy household. A co-parenting class/book may help, as well as (if he's up for it) some co-parenting therapy. You may not be married anymore but you'll always be her parents together.

E.,

I cannot imagine what you are experiencing personally. However, when I was in my classes previously, a fellow classmate of mine experienced what you are now. (It was a small and intimate class so we all felt for her!)

One thing I can suggest: Write this down for yourself and look at it often:

STRENGTH, HOPE, LOVE, CONFIDENCE, FAITH, SPIRIT, HAPPINESS

Being a newly single mother, you have all these qualities AND more. But what you may find you are weakest in is the strength as you could feel vulnerable. (at least, this was the case for my friend/classmate.) Look to your daughter and it will come into place for you. You will survive. It completely stinks, but you will come through and you will do it for yourself and your daughter! :)

I hope this helps you somewhat for now~ Many blessings to you!

Hi E.:

My ex-husband left me thr first time 5 days before Christmas. We reconciled and the second time it was 2 weeks before the holiday he left for good (I wouldn't take him back). That was some of the toughest of times for me and my boys. Over the past few years, the holidays have been difficult in general but I have found that if I try not to make them the Rockwell painting that everyone has visions of, I worry less about what isn't there and appreciate more of what we do have. Holidays will never be what the mainstream media portrays them to be so if we single moms stop trying to live up to the hype, we will have a lot less stress in your lives. Concentrate on what you do have ~ a happy healthy baby, a fresh start on life and consider this an opportunity to do what you need to so that you can make your daughter's life happy, healthy and secure. {{{}}}

Hello E.. I was a single mom of one daughter for about three years. It was a very hard time, especially through the holidays. I made it through by doing special acitivities that my daughter and I could do together. Every year we would make the special people in her life a home made gift. One year we painted shells. The next year we painted Christmas ornaments. It made it easier to focus on her and gave me less time to focus on feeling sad or lonely. I wish you luck.
E.

I went thru your current situation almost 4 years ago. At that time I was dealing with a PPO against my husband at the time the holidays were coming and I didn't know where I was going to be living. I fortunately had a strong family and friend network to help me get by. Just tell yourself you are making the right decisions and doing your absolute best.This will be a hard time in your life but remember it is harder on the young children. Never stop telling her that she didn't cause it and the you will always be there and love and support her.My best reccomendation for your self esteem take time for you.I recommend laughter thereapy one funny or more a day. I know it got me thru my depression. I also found getting my thoughts out in a journal helped with the holiday and divorce blues. I hope this helps, and I am willing to give feedback as needed. Take care of yourself and your precious baby.

I have been through this myself, when my son was also one. It is an easy thing to do to feel somewhat "down". I just had to tell myself that this was the best choice (being away from his Dad)for me and my child. It doesn't sound like much but it helped. This period in your life will pass, it just takes time. Try to focus on what is good around you, it might help take your mind off things.
Take Care-

I have been there. 9 years ago me and my ex split upon dec 5. which a divorced followed. My son was 6 monthes old. I have been through it all. If you every need someone to talk to, I have a great ear.

I am going though a divorce as we speak. march will be 25 yrs, I could only wish i has a little one around me, my children are grown and live in other states.And the holidays i actually slept though them. not healthy but there over and i did not have to deal with it.I can say when my father past away it was the 1st death i ever dealt with, i was 21 and two kids. If it wasn't for my babies i would of never made it..So love that child and try for her sake not to let her know how your feeling, She needs the secruity more now than before..good luck

E.,
I know what it was like to be a single mom for the first three years of my son's life. We got married to a wonderful guy who has really brought a lot to our life, however before he came alone there was some very lonely times. The funny thing about all this was that I just joined Mary Kay mostly because I liked the business structure and now I love the shared womenhood. I really could have used Mary Kay back than and I would love to invite you to one of our meetings, if you live in the Ann Arbor area. Let me know your thoughts ____@____.com.