Single Mom, Full Time Straight a Student, No Income, Seperated,How Do I Do This!

You are in school, are going to move, have a 2 year old, have school everyday, have homework, can't work, probably have to do some kind of internship etc.

I really do not know how you are going to do that, with a child.

Who, will have custody? And where will the child reside?

Family? if there is a 2 year old involved that you are taking with, you should have a plan in place first....no?

See if you can get any type of stipend, they should have some grants that you are eligible for since you do have a 4.0. Talk to the financial aid office and the department about any loans or scholarships, you do not have to pay them back.
Good Luck!

Yes we get that your GPA is very important to you as you have mentioned it before along with your rank in your class of 2500 students. Why would you give that up? Um-last time I checked a child trumps GPA's, rank, finances,college-everything. If you are unwilling to give anything up perhaps you should make other living arrangements for your daughter. Good luck!

Get a divorce and you can get all of the help you need. If he isn't willing to help you out then why in the hell would you even go back to him.

We can't help you figure out what you need to do in this situation. You have to take control - that means you need to provide for you and your child - FIRST AND FOREMOST!!!!

I get you want to keep the 4.0, that is a goal to strive for and achieve. However, you may need to stop schooling and go back to it when you can actually do it - yes, you will have to take the loss on the classes already completed. Because, according to what you have stated, you cannot do it right now - you have no income. You are not in a situation to be picky, entitled or snarky. This is your life and daughter's life. I know this is sooooooo not what you want to hear, but you asked.....

Here's the deal: you are an adult, you have responsibilities that go beyond having a 4.0 GPA. It's about dealing with reality. Your number one responsibility is to maintain a roof over your head and provide food for your child. If that means to have to take a semester off, so be it.
Speak to your adviser about hardship rules. Also apply for financial aid if you have not yet, you can have them revise your award since your financial situation changed.
Get a job. If you can work and maintain your grades: great! If not: there is worse things than a 3.5 or a 3.0 GPA! Being homeless or loosing your child would be WAY worse than dropping a few points in GPA.
Get a lawyer. Your soon to be ex does not have the option not to contribute.
You can do this but you need to be realistic and get your priorities in order.
Good luck!

Why would you give up on that?? Because you have a young daughter that you have to support. Your GPA and Phi Theta Kappa don't matter one bit if you are homeless and can't feed your daughter. Plans don't always work out like we hope.

Get divorced if that is your path (co-parenting and child support). You will need to get a job, it can be done. I did it with 18 units and two jobs, by daughter is currently doing it with 19 units working 3-4 days/week (no fluff classes, 4.0 GPA).

It seems like what you've written is missing quite a chunk of information.

Based solely on the information you've given, you should give temporary custody of your child to someone else and live in a homeless shelter until you finish school, or max out your student loans every semester and live off that, but I don't think you'll be able to get away with it.

OR you can make the necessary sacrifices as a parent, get a job, get a place to live for you and your child, work things out with your husband or get a divorce so you can get some assistance. If he is abusive, there is tons of resources, but odds are you'll need to be heading toward a divorce. People work and maintain high GPA's all the time. The only difference is they sort their personal lives out first, then chase down the GPA later. It's like trying to run on two broken ankles!

It's awesome that you are striving to be a successful single parent when things are stacked against you, but do it in a smart way.

Okay you are not qualified for government help. I know because I went through a divorce while going to school. No pell grants until that sucker is inked. I was lucky since my divorce was final December 23 it separated our income so my grants retroed back to that year.

I don't understand why you can't work and I am sure the court won't as well. I worked full time while taking 18 to 21 hours a semester. Not saying anyone should try that but working full time and taking 15 hours is reasonable.

My ex's family, ironically, owns funeral homes. Granted I haven't talked business with them since the divorce but last I checked your GPA means nothing to a funeral home. I assume you are concentrating on embalming? If not nothing you just said makes any sense since Missouri doesn't require any higher education for a funeral director license. Some funeral homes will let you apprentice, maybe look into that?

What I am saying is your family comes first, let your GPA slide a bit and get work to support yourself. Pretty much so long as you are still married there isn't any outside support.

Why would you give that up? For your daughter of course. I put myself through four years of hell and I can tell you they are worth it.

You can rack up some student loans?

I really am trying to help you. No funeral home will hire you without going through an accredited college, in Missouri there is only one. It is in St Louis and does not offer a full online courses. There is a really good chance you will not be hired after all of this. :( If you are not hired you cannot apprentice which means you cannot be licensed. That 4.0 will mean nothing.

AFTER READING YOUR SO WHAT HAPPENED:

You may think you are all that and a bag of chips with your grades and such, but somehow in between your GPA you managed to produce a child and lose a husband/father, so unless your sisters in Phi Theta Kappa or your family or your child's father are going to help you out, you will either go on the dole and/or reduce your busy schedule, work, go to school, and take care of your child. So your answer just seems OUT THERE.

Grow UP and understand IF your soon to be former husband IS the biological father of your child and you wish to continue your education then like it or not sooner or later he should/must/and can be forced to do the right thing.

Since you are a straight A student in your field, there may be many opportuniteis and companies that will take you on as a paid intern.

Since you are a soon to be single mother, contact all the local govt. agencies that will help you because you have a child.

Lastly, if you have been able to survive without going on the dole, keep it up. It is your child's father and your responsibility to take of this child. Your a straight A student and hopefully you didn't marry a dope.

Take the next step to take care of your child and yourself!

You know, you have really limited yourself by not either being legal separated or in the process of divorce.

You probably can't get any government assistance, depending on how much your hubby makes.

The only thing I can think of is to apply for a grant to help pay your living expenses, but I don't know if it will be enough to totally support you and your daughter.

It seems to me you are going to have to make some changes. Either insist that your husband give you money which is really impossible. He may agree, but getting him to actually send something is a different story.

Really, without family to help, government assistance or a job I have no idea how one would survive.

If you have a joint savings or checking account, I would suggest withdrawing your 1/2 of those funds immediately. You're going to need them!

Your husband has a duty to his daughter no matter what has happened between the two of you. You will not qualify for any government assistance if you are still married. You need to work a deal with your husband, find other family to live with, or drop out of school. Sorry but I can't think of other options.

File for divorce. OTW, your financial aid will be based off of his income. Unfortunately, FAFSA requires an actual divorce, and not just separation, to determine aid without his income. Ditto WIC, etc. Govt agencies also WILL NOT give you aid UNLESS you are receiving child support. They won't pick up HIS responsibilities to you and his child.

This is assuming you haven't gotten aid in the past due to his income level.

Grantwritunh for next year
Family student housing
University subsidized daycare
Student loans
Taking 1/4 to 1 year off. (( ESP if you're moving out of state, cuts your tuition into fractions))

I know how hard this is. I was also a single mother, full time college student, with a 2 year old and no job. It isn't easy. My situation is a little different as I was never married to the father and by the time I went back to school he wasn't in the picture at all. So we did qualify for food stamps and everything else I needed I used student loans to pay for. We lived in a small one bedroom apartment and lived on a very strict budget. When school was on break, I worked any job I could get (cleaning houses, lifeguard, etc) for extra money. I think you should definitely check on whether you will qualify for assistance, even though you are still legally married you are not in the same household so you may still qualify. Good luck!

Any chance you can find a funeral home owned by a family and strike a deal? Perhaps they could give you a room. Does the school have a daycare where students are learning pre-elementary ed skills by taking care of them? Talk to your school.

The only other thing I can think of is harder than anything else - asking family to take your child for a while. Sometimes people have to do it. There's no shame in it. What you are studying is a shoe-in for a life career and not just anyone can do it. With your credentials, perhaps a funeral home would take you on, with the stipulation that you give something back to them on the backside. Then no matter what, you would need to do that.

Good luck, and don't let anyone make you feel bad about this.
Dawn

i'm sorry, but parts of this make no sense... you're currently enrolled in a program that has a very finite time limit, yet you're moving? but you can't find a way to pay rent, so where exactly are you moving? it IS great that you have a 4.0 GPA as a full time student with 15 hours in what is, around here anyways, a community college based program. however, the rest of your restrictions make no sense. you can't afford to eat/live/provide care for your child. you are saying a lot of "cannot", but the proper term is WILL not. it's time to get real and do what needs doing, i don't know what you think is going to happen, but it's time to grow up and be a provider for your child. file for legal separation and start the paperwork on having your child's father pay support, or leave her with him since it seems that you are choosing not to make the choices necessary to provide for her. you CAN work and take 15 hours of college credit - good grief, i took 18 hours every semester and HAD to maintain a high GPA while earning my bachelor's degree - i graduated with a 3.9 and worked 35 hours a week ALL FOUR YEARS and was in the top 3% of my class. who watches your child while you go to school? i know you want to continue going as you have been, but the reality is things have changed for you - you HAVE to make adjustments. you seem willing to sacrifice for school, but NOT for your daughter? keep in mind that you always have a choice...

Hubby is responsible for the care of his daughter, so you'll need to get him to provide you with child support.

What type of family do you have available to offer assistance - a place to live, childcare, a free meal or two?

You should be proud of your educational accomplishments, however, they seem to be your top priority. Maybe it's time to reprioritize. Also, if hubby isn't willing to help out, is this the type of person you still want to be married to?

Look into grants or students loans.

Many colleges offer low cost day care. See what's available.

Since your doing so well in school, maybe you can find another student who needs some tutoring for a few extra $$, or they can do some babysitting for you in return.

You are only hurting yourself by not filing for separation/divorce, especially since he is refusing to help you with anything. Filing would mean he would have to pay child support and/or alimony, etc.

That being said - there is public housing, food stamps, a whole bevy of welfare aid that you can become dependent on.

I glad that your GPA is important but no where in this post did you say how important your daughter was and to me that speaks volumns. I don't know why you are moving but you can't afford it. My suggestion is the split the house in half and you and your husband continue to live together but separate. He would be responsible for some of your daughter's care.

Your husband needs to support his child. You have access to money.

Can you move in with your folks or another family member temporarily? You say your program requires completion in a certain amount of time, can you live with another trusted adult until your schooling is over? Are your parents involved in your life at all? I think most parents would be willing to help out temporarily, esp if you are working to improve your own situation.

Plus, you should get divorced, or separated. If you are moving to a place where he is not, then you are not "taking a break" you are both moving on with your lives. Get on with it and get the child support from him you need.

I would speak with the college and figure out if there is anything you qualify for. There are so many grants and scholarships at each University and college, just sitting there. Especially since your degree depends on a timely completion..

Heck, I would call the Funeral Professional association and ask them how they could help.

As long as you are not divorced.. you will not qualify for the same support if you were single.

Call your state offices and speak with them and see what they suggest.

Honestly no family on your side that you could borrow from or have them cosign a loan for you?

family? church? friends? Go to your financial aid office and explain your situation. You might not be eligible for grants, but perhaps a loan you could pay back at a later date? Good for you for staying in school and putting forth such effort. It will pay off down the road for you and your child. I hope you and your husband can work things out.
HTH,
A.

First of all, congrats on your grades! I can see your dilemma. You want to finish school to get a good job but need a job now to support yourself. I am not sure what to do other than move in with family or friend and work a weekend job or night shift to pay rent or for the food. Do you guys have insurance? I know this is not really part of your question but it just really hit me..... Is your daughter's father coming to Kansas City too? If not, how does he feel about her leaving. 3 hours travel time will really limit their daily time together. I would try and have your daughter live as close to both parents for her sake and yours.

I'm sure someone has told you these things already. I'm not going to read the other posts. But sometimes hearing it in a different way or from multiple people helps. The laws may differ from state to state, but for me, it didn't matter that my husband and I were not legally separated or divorced. Just the fact that he was no longer living in the same household as the kids and I meant that he was not factored into the applications for government aid. For housing costs, I rely on Section 8 (there is often a waiting list so get on it now). For food I rely on food stamps and my church's welfare system. For utilities I rely on the HEAT program. I don't know if that is national. Go to United Way and they can direct you to many welfare programs. There may also be a program in your area that pays for a landline phone. I use a Tracphone, which is probably the cheapest cell phone available. I buy the phone cards at Walmart whenever I need them and can afford them. I use the phone only when I have to and find other ways to communicate, like email when I am on campus. A relative was able to lend me their second car. Medicaid covers most of mine and my children's medical, dental, prescriptions, etc. My church pays some of my bills when it can. A relative is able to give me $100 a month so that I have cashflow for things like gas and prescription med copays. Our family was chosen for Secret Santa gifts so I didn't have to buy many Christmas gifts. One of the Secret Santa groups asked me to request one practical gift and one fun gift for each family member to receive, which was a great way to get things we needed that I had no money for. I participate in my local Freecycle.org group to get used items that we need and give away what we don't need anymore. When I'm in school full time, I rely on friends, family, and neighbors for child care. None of them can watch my kids full time, but each can watch one or two days per week. Some do it for free, others charge me only $2/hr. When I'm in school part time, I work 15 hours/week to qualify for the Child Care Assistance program, which pays for the child care of both my work time and class time. I cannot earn enough to support my family on my own while I am in school, but I can do something. There is pride in that. It has been scary, the times that I have had to invest in classes and not work, but so far each time I have done it has paid off. I just keep taking the opportunities that come to me and keeping my senses open for better ones, even if it seems like I wouldn't like the type of work. I never thought I'd enjoy being a tax preparer so much-- that is one thing that took some time and investment but I am so glad I did it for the bit of cashflow it gave me. And every once in a while, by the grace of God, someone I meet helps me out. Like the pharmacist who charged me half price when my debit card was rejected and I only had a few dollars in my wallet. Or the unknown person who stuck an envelope in my front door with cash in it. Or the "Santa" who sent me a gift card at Christmas time. My husband and I have been separated 18 months. Take all the time you need to decide whether or not to divorce. It is your marriage. I knew I had to do all I could possibly do to salvage my marriage before calling it quits and I am now at a point that I realize it is best for us. When we first separated, my husband gave me no money and I thought he would hold the grudge forever, but eventually he got a job and on his own decided to give me a check here and there. I think part of what influenced his decision to do that was the ORS. In order to get Medicaid, I was required to file with the ORS. They write up paperwork as if you are requesting child support to be paid, but it doesn't go into effect until you ask them to make it so. However, they still send the paperwork to the husband to let him know how much he would be required to pay if they were to order him to pay child support. It scared me that they handled things this way, but in the end it turned out to be great that someone else besides me was telling my husband to be responsible for his family. You can do it! It takes a lot of work to get all the charity you need, and it stinks to be away from your little one, but it is only temporary. Good luck and God Bless!

You will surely qualify for Pell grants, take all you can get! You probably will also have to take out student loans, it is not ideal, but you may have to scrape by on borrowed money until you can get a job after school (fingers crossed for you!) You also need to get on WIC and possibly food stamps. This is not something you need to be ashamed of, you are doing the best you can but your child's needs have to come before your pride, trust me, I know. There was a time when I needed all of the assistance I just listed, and now I do not, things can and will get better and you will end up "paying back" all the assistance you took by paying your taxes (which is where I am at now). Best of luck!

Go to school part time and get a job. It's awesome you make straight As. That's great! But you are also responsible for providing for a child now. It may be important to you to be in a sorority and maintain your GPA, etc. But # 1 priority should be affording a roof over your daughter's head and food in her tummy. If that means putting college on the back burner then so be it. If you can get government assistance, then good for you. I think everyone would love to be able to go to school and not work and have the government (a.k.a. all of us tax payers) foot the bill.