Single M.

Natalia,

I am so sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time. My husband walked out on us a couple months back too, but I was lucky enough to have family I could fall on. What town are you living in? I do not have much, but I can try to help. My sister was going through something similar and found assistance with heat, phone, child care and electric. I am in Carol Stream and would be happy to help if I can.
E.
email me and let me know; ____@____.com

Natalia,

I am sorry for the tough time you are going thru. What area do you live in? My mother is in Pleasant Prairie, WI. She watches my children while I am working this could be an option for you.

L.

hi
i need help around my home i'm looking for a housekeeper to come and clean my home every week if you are interested please let me know i also need help with my 20 month i'm 6.5 months pregrent so i need help wuth a little of everything we live in mundelein by houthorn mall call me and we can talk some more ###-###-####.
M.

If you are in Elgin, I would be happy to watch your daughter, free of charge, while you job-hunt or run errands. My daughter is 6 and I am 3 months pregnant, so daughter would LOVE another little one to play with as she's anxious to have the baby here already! We have lots of toys- outside and inside- and a lake behind the house where we can go for paddle boat rides and catch fish with little nets, etc. I have references and used to work as a teacher in a 2 yr old room at a preschool. I would be happy to provide her with positive attention and nutritious meals for a week or so during the day or evening while you sort things out!
I may even have some clothing that would fit her (I know I have some 4T things...)

I was a single M. for 5 yrs and would love to help another M. out- I know it is VERY hard and can be heartbreaking!

Feel free to private message me if you want- even if it's just to talk or vent frustrations!

Amanda

Hi Natalia,

Where do you live? I own a cleaning service and we provide free childcare while you work.

Check out our website. www.wehoptoit.com

You are in my prayers,
D.

why dont you take the father in for child support.

Hi Natalia,
If you are still in need of clothes I have some I can send to you. If you are still in need send me your location and I can send you some or drop some stuff off. I am sure that I can get some other things together as well, let me know what you may need (food as well).

Hang in there...it is hard to be a single parent, stay strong for your daughter....

Hello
If you live in the suburbs, there is a agency called 4-C, check the internet for the office closest to you, they might be able to help in getting funds for daycare as well as help in other areas. If you haven't seen a lawyer yet, you need to do that immediately. Your husband has a financial responsibility to your daughter. There are several legal assistance agencies that will help you free of charge, again check the net. If you don't have a computer, go to your local library and use theirs. Also, if you are religious, talk to your church, not only will they help you with food, clothing etc. most importantly, they can offer you emotional support and help you deal with everything going on. Best of Luck

Hi, You can call Caholic Charities in your area or in Chicago and ask them for help. Also, put your child in a public school pre-school and get a job. I was single M. like you and had no money, my friends watched my son while I worked. No job ever said my child would get in the way, if they do that is descrimination. Go to the library or on the internet and find companies that help single mothers, there are a lot out there. I cleaned houses on the weekends, I worked after school day care and I worked in an office five days a week, things were rough but I did it. If you speak more than one language you can tutor at night for lots of money. You have to stop thinking how bad things are, focus on what ever you have to do for your child and everything starts to fall into place.
Good Luck!

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I can't imagine what you are going through but please email me your child's sizes and an address to send them to and I would be happy to help. You can email me at my personal address at ____@____.com and we can talk more.

Not sure where you live - but I heard the XFitness in Naperville and St Charles is hiring for daycare fitness (where your daughter can be at the same time) and they offer health insurance benifits for fulltime workers . If you give your daughters size and an address - I will send some things to get you by. You do not have to give a name - just the size of clothes size, shoes ,and your current needs.

Dear Natalia,

Sounds like everyone who has written may have enough resources and advice to get you over this very difficult hump. I only have two questions:

I have a nine year old daughter and we are ready to get rid of some toys, dolls, and books. Do you need anything like that? If I knew where you lived I could drop them by at some point. Right now you need to get the basics covered, but please let me know if you could use some of these things and where you are located.

Do you have family somewhere you would want to be near now? Do they know about your situation like all of us mamasource moms do? Do you want to move back to wherever home is? Or do you want to stay here? Let everyone know if you want to find a way to get to family, if that is a good loving place for you to be.

Best of luck!

Barbara

I don't know if this will be useful or not, but there is a place called CARA that might be useful. It's a job readiness program:

http://www.thecaraprogram.org

It's a great organization and helps people get back on their feet who are going through tough times. You might give them a call and see if they meet your needs.

I wish you all the best!

Happy Mothers Day to you also. Sorry to hear that things are hard right now. I applaude you for asking for help. Have you called churches in your area? Even if you don't go to a church and call to ask for help they will help you. Look in the phone book for food pantry's to get food for you both. You can apply for day care for your daughter whether you send her to a daycare or a person. Have you thought about watching other children? Look on freecycle for food,clothes and other items you need. Since the weather is nice maybe have a garage sale and ask people for things they no longer need or want...just let them know what your plans are. Can you move in with a friend to split the costs......when you do get a job? If you would like to email me and i've got food you can have for you and your daughter. My email address is ____@____.com your head high and be possitive. I know its hard to do but you can do it!

Natalia,
There are organizations out there to help you-- have you called the Salvation Army offices and told them about your crisis (not the store, but a citadel or main office-- check your phone book). Also, depending on where you live, you should check out a local food pantry (like St. Cyprian's http://www.unitedinfaith.org/stcyprians.html).
Where do you live?
R.

Natalia,

I hope you are responding to some of these great offers from these very generous women. I live in Antioch and run a homeday care. I would be more than willing to help you out. I am searching for a great cleaning lady and have come up short. Maybe we can help each other out.
I wish there was more I can do for you...but you have recieved tons of great advice, offers, and suggestions.
I will keep you in my prayers.
J.
Just another thought but I know that the YWCA will help find and fund childcare, so you might want to check into that too.

Hey there!

Ok, tell me too where you are located and I am MORE THAN happy to assist in locating resources for you - as well as hiring you to do some work- or whatever else I can assist with! - You may not see it this way right now- but this may very well be a huge 'blessing' when you look back.

There are several Food Pantries to provide immediate assistance to get you through the next few days as well as resources for clothing and additional items you may need. - but it all depends on where you are located and if you have no gas money- please respons immediately to any or all of us so that we can assist you with that as well!!

C. - Spring Grove, IL

Natalia,
Where do you live? I would love to help you out. I am a M. of 3 and married. First, what size does your daughter wear? And also, do you know about the freecycle sites? They are yahoo groups. There is Aurora share network, dupage county parents swap and there are tons more. go into yahoo groups and do a search. Just type in the names of the groups. People give things away on there all the time. I would love to help you out if I can. my girls are older now, the smallest sizes I have is 5 for a girl. Let me know what else I can do ok? I am so sorry this is happening to you. With public aide, did you do the emergency filing? They should be able to help you soon. My friend did and she got the link card within the week.

S. Bailey CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com

Hi there -

Our house cleaner just broke her hand and we could use someone to help out until she is better. You could even bring your daughter with you while you work so you wouldn't need to find daycare. We have a huge yard she could play in. Let me know if you are interested, we live in Naperville.

J.

Ok, take a deep breath, I know how you feel. It is a scary place to be in. My husband left me when I was in Texas, miles away from everyone and everything, I moved back home with my 2 kids 4 and 2 year old girls. I panicked, I cried, I broke down. As far as day care goes, child care intitaive will pay for most of your childcare if not all to go to interviews, etc, you can apply online I believe it is on the DHS website. Places like Lutheran family and child services helps families, there are resources out there. Did you go the office to get food stamps, my girlfriend did nad she walked out with food stamps. Dont give up, your child needs you to be strong through all of this, as hard as it is. Where are you located? If I can help in anyway, please email me at ____@____.com

Sorry to hear your situation. Not sure where you live, but I could give you some canned goods and frozen fruit/vegetables so you and your child will have something to eat. My daughter is much yourger than yours so I don't have any clothes, but if you look on craigslist, there are sometimes folks that give away free stuff just to get it out of the house. Go to www.craigslist.com and click on chicago. Let me know if you would like the food.

Hi Natlie,

Please contact me off line at ____@____.com or ###-###-#### or 9773) ###-###-####.

YOU CAN SEE ABOUT THE EMERGETCY FOOD STAMPS. HERE IS SOME INFO ON IT:

What if I need emergency benefits?
EXPEDITED/EMERGENCY FOOD STAMPS
Expedited/Emergency Food Stamps are Food Stamp benefits that are ready in 5 days or less from the date you apply.

You may be able to get Expedited Food Stamps if:

Your monthly income, cash and bank accounts are less than your rent or mortgage plus your
utility costs, OR
Your monthly income is less than $150 and your cash and bank accounts are not more than
$100, OR
At least one person in your household is a migrant farm worker and your cash and bank accounts are not more than $100.
If you cannot wait to speak to a caseworker, the receptionist will make an appointment for you for the next day. If the office cannot complete the application on the same day, then the receptionist will make appointment for you for the next day. This appointment is to see if you are eligible for Expedited/Emergency Food Stamps.

To receive Expedited/Emergency Food Stamps, you must have valid identification. We prefer photo identification. We will also take other kinds of identification.

YOU CAN ALSO GO TO RESPOND NOW IN CHICAGO HEIGHTS. HERE IS SOME INFO ON THEM:

Walk-in Location: 1439 Emerald Street, Chicago Heights, IL View MAP
Walk-in Hours: Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays -10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Office Phones (24 hours a day): Voice ###-###-####

RESPOND NOW attempts to help all people who have a genuine need. We strive to provide our services in a manner that maintains dignity and choice. We treat our clients as individuals and maintain a supportive environment for individuals who require assistance. On a daily basis, some of the problems we address are:

Food - We provide the basic staples and non-perishable items including, if necessary, baby food and formula.

Rent Assistance - We provide funds to avert eviction or for rental deposits to secure a lease.

Utilities - We provide funds to keep utilities (water, gas, electric) operating.

Prescription Medications - We provide vouchers for urgently needed medications, which are filled by a local pharmacy at discounted prices.

Temporary Lodging - We provide funds for local motels for families who have lost their homes through fire or eviction.

Clothing - We provide clean, used clothing donated by individuals or groups. We also provide funds for work shoes.

Transportation - We provide bus passes for clients to get to job interviews, clinics, public aid and social security appointments.
I HOPE THIS HELPS YOU. IF YOU NEED ANYTHING FEEL FREE TO E-MAIL ME. ____@____.com

Natalia

Can you call churchs and find the food kitchens? I have several in my town boy did they help.

Next you go to the state aid or social security office and fill out the paperwork to get that man to pay child support. They will do that for you. You need to find a street smart girlfriend or a church that knows how to help you work the system. Like help with daycare and food etc.

I will pray that God helps you find the right help. I am so sorry that you are in the most painful shoes in to world. You will survive.

It is hard to ask for help but you must. Just keep knocking on doors and one will have a heart behind it.

All- What amazing women you all are! We are lucky to have each other.

M.

Well my goodness! I sent a personal response and came back to see what had been written...WOW! Natalia you have choices! And I give all you women a "high five"! THIS is what community is all about! I hope more than anything that you read all these responses and know that where there is a will there IS a way. Take a deep breath, pray and contact any of us, you know we will help. =)

I am sure others have responded by now, but I just read my email. Anyways, you can go to public aid an get emergency medical, food stamps (link) and they will approve it in five days. You can also apply for daycare action- this will help pay for daycare based on your income. For food needs go to your local Salvation Army or Catholic church to find out when or where they have a food pantry. They do give good food. Try appliying for unemployment, I don't know how that works but it may help with some money.

I know you hate to get it to this point but there are places that will help you for rent only once though but you have to wait until you are 5 days late. I dont know where you live but there is help out there, somewhat.

Also go to the wic office you can get milk, eggs, peanut butter,cereal, for free.

My husband had a heartattack and we were in the same boat kinda. No help was available it was very frusterating because they said there were two people if I was a single M. maybe they would of so you should be able to get some assistance. Thank goodness our family all pulled through we got about 3000 from all family.

Also your foodstamp office should help with daycare too I am sure you are hesitant on that but I am not sure your options right now they will pay for daycare while you look for work and give you gas money too.

If you have any questions feel free to email me. Good luck you will get through God gives you only what you can handle.

N.
____@____.com

Hi Natalia,

Where do you live? I think I have some clothes for your daughter. Have you tried looking on craigslist for a job? It's not hopeless - I've been there before and though it's hard and doesn't seem like it now, it will get better. Maybe we could get together and I could give you the clothes that we've got. Keep your chin up - R.

hi natalia! hang in there!
if you need to, i can help you put a fundraising show together

http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/bataviasun/business/37...

www.hethro.net

Natalia,
E-mail me...
T.

Where are you located? If you have cleaning services to offer we mya be able to use that. Also, have you heard of freecycle? They post things to give away and you canpost needs too.. I believe its freecycle.org and then you go to your area... These ladies have given you excellent advice ... Sounds like you are reaching out and willing to work hard so keep up the good work you will do fine!!

Hi Natalia,

I have never been in your position but I have been very close. I think you can call the Red Cross and ask them if they have any Emergency Assistance available. Sometimes they have funds available for these things. Also, Public Aide should also have that type of assistance. Public aide might have a program that you daughter can go in while you work at a small fee or maybe free till you can get back on your feet. Another suggestion is you can babysitt a few kids during the day for working moms. You can make a good penny doing this. I hope this helps!! Good Luck.
Jackie

Hi Natalia-

Please contact Child Care Resource and Referral. Here is there link.

http://www.ilchildcare.org/parentsandpublic/findccrr.asp

If you don't have access to a computer please call 800-552-5526. They will assist with Childcare.

Good Luck!!

If you live in the Oak Forest Area contact me I will help with childcare. ____@____.com God bless you

I really feel bad and wish I had more insight or advice or that I would have some money to help you out. But things are rough financially and there is nothing extra let alone to make our bills has not been happening. However I want to share with you one thought. Did you go to these agencies like salvation army, ministries that help out single mothers, a church nearby, shelter, look some up in the phone book even, or go to the library and use the internet. You need to find help where ever you can. I am there too. I go to an agency in our community and they give us grocery vouchers for $250 a month and they also help us with counseling, doctors, dentist, glasses and optical care, diapers, bread each week, and meals. It takes a huge burden off of us since we are drowning in debt and my husband was out of work many times over the past two years due to illness. Its been rough but I learned a very important lesson through this all. You MUST be a pillar of strength and stability for your child because there development is SO SO important. They see how you are and they end up being that way too. If you lose it (as I almost did) then they totally get that and they get really really worked up too. I saw this with my daughter and it was really scary how she knew exactly how stressed I was. I also had the stress of my husband's illness so that made things very very difficult. We still are dealing with all this. But I feel like I am doing all I can and I am working again so that helps too. Hang in there and be strong and may G-d bless you with the help, answers, and avenues for blessings very soon in your future. Good luck and if you need to talk I'm here to help.

For specific items, like clothes for your daughter, you could also look into http://www.freecycle.org as well. It's a group where when one person is done using something but it still has life left in it, we gift it (totally free of charge) to others who can use it and help keep it out of the landfills in the process. Do a search on your area and join the local group. Some people will join groups in nearby areas as well.

Another possible resource for you would be if you are currently active in a church community at all. Often churches can pool resources together to help out their members.

Hang in there! You can make it through this!

Hey Natalia! You are a lot stronger than you think you are and you are going to find ways to manage. I am a single mother of two kids ages 9 and 13 and their father left me 5 years ago with a huge mortgage, I was a stay at home M., no money and a lot of pain and anguish. I am still here and my kids are doing great.

Call The Lilac Tree in Evanston (if think). They are a non-profit womens support group that can put you in touch with services that you need.

Write back if you can and tell me where you live and any other details you want to share.

I'm sending you blessings and powerful strength and courage to get up every day and take care of your daughter and yourself and to have faith! You can do it!

R. Patrick-Sison
____@____.com

What size is your baby? My baby is 4 and I have tons of great stuff in a 2,3 and 4T. Send me your address and it can all be yours. Also, what is her shoe size? I have shoes that she has not even worn yet. Let me know and HANG IN THERE M.!!

Natalia, I would rather respond privately, because these are such personal matters for you, but I commend you for sharing them with us!! I have been in many bad situations while just focusing on my children and not getting into any real trouble, so I am very sympathetic of where you are at right now. I have hired a nanny just a week ago and she has lots of experience but is not as capable as I anticipated. I will tell you more if you call me, but bottom line is that she is overweight and cannot handle my older kids as well as I hoped, but is very good with the little ones. We may be able to help you out in lots of ways on a temporary basis until you can get things worked out to best suit you and your little one. We will watch her in exchange for a little house cleaning, that is exactly what I need right now!! Call me and tell me what we can do for you!! ###-###-#### Cell. Love, L.

Natalia,
Our church runs a food pantry and if you're in the area, you should definitely come visit. http://www.commonpantry.org/index.htm

We also have a "welcome meal" every Wednesday night - it's a free meal for whoever needs it, served by volunteers and the food is very good. We are Epiphany United Church of Christ at the corner of Damen and Bradley Place (just north of Addison).

NATALIA,

I'm not sure what town you live in, but i know that in Naperville they have a food pantry called loaves and fishes and a place that will help you with your rent and might even help with your bills it's called naperville cares. for clothes i would look at garage sales, and for a job i would ask friends to help with childcare at night so you can get a night job as a waitress. i wish you the best of luck. your in my prayers.

E.

Hi, Natalie. What area do you live in? My daughter's five. We just moved, so I just got rid of a bunch of clothes. But, who knows? Maybe I overlooked some sizes that are too small for her. Also, perspective employers CAN'T legally deny you a job because you have a child. I'm a working M.. I've been a single M. since my daughter was born. But I was never turned down. I worked in retail right after I had her (which was right after I graduated from college). That held me over until I could get a better-paying job. Why don't you also look into things you can do from home, at least for the time being? You can work in Avon, Mary Kay, Party Lite, Lia Sophia... Ask your friends to help. Ask them to host parties or buy the products. Ask them to help share your books and spread the word that you work for one of those companies. (I work for Avon. I don't push it like I can, and I still make decent money from them--just don't be buying the products yourself!) Ask them if you can stay with them until you get on your feet (for some kind of rent or service for the favor). You can trade baby-sitting, as well. If someone baby-sits for you while you're at work or looking for work, as if you can clean the house for them in return. You have to do something! Don't let yourself be thrown out. And don't take the excuse that you're not getting the job because you have a child. Good luck!

Well i am a stay at home M. of three i currently live in Carol Stream but will be moving in the end of July to Villa par. I don't know where ou live but i can watch your child for you if you need. I have referrals from people ive baby sat for so if you want hem i can e-mail them to you. I will watch your daughter for you and you can pay me when you can even if it takes a month.I've been there i know.

Hi Natalia,

Happy Mothers Day,

Sorry I just got your message. I will advice you to go to your Public Aid Office and let them know that you need for them to provide you with emergency food stamps they should give them to you right there with out you waiting. I know they are rude at times but let them know and be firm with them. They should also give you information for shelters in your area for women that are in your same situation. Also go to Action for Children and apply the same day that you get a full time job even if they pay you cash you can get a letter from the employer so you can qualify for FREE services. In there office they have a big list in your area of different daycare providers that you can visit. The daycare center should be able too take in the kids and apply for you when you get a full time job. They should not charge you anything, & if they apply for you it’s a faster response. Please email me if you need any assistance with this. I can also help you take care of your baby in the weekends if you would like, so you can clean houses on Saturday & Sunday’s mornings. Don’t give up you can due this on your own my mother was a single mother of 4 kids and an immigrant. My father past away when we were all little and our family didn’t help her out at all. I always say if my Mother did it anyone can. Email me I can try to help you in every way that I can thank you.

M. you can try the Salvation Army half way house they are hiring all the time and give out a great deal of over time the address is 105 S. Ashland ###-###-#### provided you do not have a criminal background because they finger print and background check on all employee as for the daycare try daycare action for children###-###-#### 8741 s greenwood chicago il 60619 call them and let them know you need an application for your daughter good luck

Natalia,

Hi, my name is J. and I was moved and interested in your situation. Where do you live first of all? Reason why I ask is because I live in Grayslake and wondering if that might be too far for where you're looking for help.
My husband and I are currently stuck in a situation where we had free childcare for our children, which drastically changed. We also have a mortgage that will be quite hard for us to afford, so we were considering renting out our basement. It is fully and beautifully finished with 2 bedrooms. We are very flexible with the price. We are also a quiet and respectful family with 2 little girls, an almost 2 year old and 9 year old.
Just wondering if maybe we can see what we can do to sort of help each other out.
I'm also very surprised that you did not get emergency food stamps immediately. Email me back; you never know. Try to keep positive; everything always eventually works itself out...

I will give you my personal email address so in case I get your email at my workplace I can access it. It is ____@____.com

Sincerely,
J.

Natalia,

You should contact your local church group. There are many resources there that can help.

Good luck and my prayers are with you.

Denise

Natalia,
Another great resource is the local church. I know the church we attend gives out gas cards, food, and work contacts. Everything is done no questions asked and without the stress of having to repay. Our church (as with most I assume) has a budget for needs just as yours. If you need anything else, please don't hesitate to ask.

A.

There's an organization based in Glen Ellyn, called Bridge Communities. It's an organization that assists in transitional housing for the homeless, but they may do much more than that. The woman that told me about it was a newly divorced, very young, mother of 2 extremely young boys at the time. You may want to give them a call. Phone # is ###-###-#### x10

There's also Families Helping Families, in Naperville. Phone # is Phone: ###-###-####