Hi! So, my daughter is having her 7th birthday party on March 3rd. We are having a tea party here at home with her friends from school and from the neighborhood come. We invited 12 friends. We have a small townhome so we can't fit too many people in it. To my suprise ALL 12 rsvp'd yes, lol! So, it worked out that most goodie bags and favors and stuff come in a pack of 12 and I have 12 seats and spaces at the table. I had one mom call me 2 days ago and asked if the younger sister could come too. She is 3 years old. (this was before I did a head count) and I said sure! Well I got off the phone with her and did a head count and the little sister would make 13. Now I feel bad because I really don't have the table space or a goodie bag for her. What should I do? Also one other thing about the little sister is that she has severe allergies (I know because her mom once told me when I took my daughter to her daughter's birthday). I am planning on serving PB&J, fruit cabobs, pretzels, and cake. I know that she will be the only one with a peanut allergy. All the other parents know that I'm making PB&J because I put it on the invitation. I would hate to have to call the mom back and tell her that I just can't have her stay. What should I do? I feel really bad about this. Should I make her something different to eat? Should I just try to whip up an extra goodie bag from random stuff from the dollar store? We are also at our birthday budget already.
Thanks! I hope this doesn't sound bad, but I really just feel awful about it. I wish I had done a head count before she called. I really don't mind it if she comes. I just don't want her to be left out. All other kids there will be 6/7 years old besides my son who is 4. Thanks!
yeah, I agree. I just can't uninvite her. I will just make up an extra goodie bag from the dollar store. I didn't put any candy in them either. I think cake is enough sugar, lol! They don't need anymore candy that's for sure.
Oh and yes the mother said she would stay if she brings her younger daughter. I do know how to do an epi pen. I worked as a teacher for 5 years before my daughter was born and we also have one because my daughter is allergic to egg whites so we have it just incase.
Like DV said, I would also call the mom & remind her about the menu (she may change her mind all on her own about bringing the young'un). If she doesn't change her mind, as far as you actually uninviting her, I personally wouldn't do it.
Why do parents think that the younger siblings should be included in parties that the older child was invited to? I just don't get that. If I wanted the whole crew to come, I would have invited the whole crew. I find it very rude that the mother called asking if the 3 year old could come. She is 3 not 7 big age difference.
Are upi now going to have to keep an eye on the 3 year old at YOUR daughter's party? Sounds to me like Mom wanted a break from both kids and you are now the babysitter.
I would call the mom back and make her aware of the menu and let her decide if she still wants to bring the little sister or not. You can also just be honest and let her know you only have table space for the 12 older girls and then the ball is in her court. Then if she does decide to bring her, you can try to put together a little something goody-bag wise just for her. Even just a few things from the dollar store shouldn't totally bust your budget.
Personally, I don't think I would be offended if, as a mom, you called me back and told me that it turns out you won't have enough space for the little sibling. It would have been a special favor to begin with (seeing as the girls are all 7 and this one is 3), so if you need to go back on what you said because it turns out everyone invited RSVP'd and you weren't expecting that when you said "yes" I would understand. I wouldn't necessarily mention the peanut allergy when talking to her, though - it was on the invitation, so it's not like it's a new peice of info.
Now, I'm not as sensitive as some, so you'll need to take this mom's personality into account. IF I had asked, I would have put it on the condition that it doesn't cause any incovenience.
Obviously, I'm going against the grain in here in responses.
Because of the severe peanut allergy, I would insist her Mom must stay during the party if she wants the little sibling to attend. For you to have to risk and manage a possible emergency is too much to ask. Tell the Mom you are not planning to change the menu, and she must stay if she wants the younger to attend. Once you remind her the menu, she may change her mind herself.
I always take in account of younger siblings because there are some parents who will not allow a child to go to a party if theyounger one could not go. They have always been invited. Now the allergy I would require the mom to stay. I'd be honest and upfront that you are serving Peanut butter at the party so you would feel better if sheh stayed and kept an eye on her daughter because you will be to busy with the other kids to give her special attention and make sure she doesnt get int he peanutbutter. I'd get her her own little goody bag. Never nice to be left out.
I think that since you already said yes, the sister could come, you can't go back on your word now. I also think if it was on the invite about the PB&J, then this mom already knows you are serving that because her older dd did receive an invite. Either get more items for another goodie bag, or don't give them out at all. Personally, as a mom of four, goodie bags are a bane of my existence...they are usually cheap toys and/or candy, neither of which are really NEEDED in my home, kwim?
Perhaps she and your son can do a craft together (like from the dollar store or oriental trading company) and that can be her take home goodie, esp since what you have for seven year olds might not be appropriate for a three year old anyway. That could keep them both entertained and out of the way of the big kids.
As for the food issue, I'm surprised the mother asked after seeing the PB on the invitation. Since you know her allergy, it would be the right thing to do to offer an alternative, but I personally would be very concerned about being responsible for someone else's severely allergic person in a room full of allergens! What if the big kids get peanut butter on their hands and touch her/something she touches next? Or leaves PB on the table? Or she has a reaction to airborne allergens? Are you prepared to administer an Epi-Pen if needed? In my opinion, the other mom has put you in quite an uncomfortable situation. Three year olds are still impulsive and not always aware of what they are doing. If the mom plans to stay, then that's another story. (Because if not, why bring the three year old anyway?)
It would be a shame to have to change your party to accommodate a "non-invitee's" restrictions, but if it's a life or death issue, maybe all of the sandwiches could be almond butter instead. I don't think my son notices too much when I switch to that sometimes and the jelly could mask it more.
The mom already knows it's PB since it was on the invite that she had for her other daughter, correct? So she should have a plan for her child. Do not make anything special, you have your hands full with the other party goings on. Honestly, I can't believe someone would call you to bring their sibling, especially one so young.
You can't uninvite. I would make a "special" goodie bag for her or just get her a pack of crayons and a coloring book. Explain to the mom that you wanted to make sure her goodie bag was age appropriate. Anyone would understand that what's okay for a 7 yo might not be for a 3 yo (like I get really ticked when people give my 3 yo stickers! LOL). As for food, is she okay with cheese? Make her a cheese sandwich, cut off the crusts and it will look "fancy." Hopefully it will work out that she will be a playmate for your son who would otherwise probably just annoy his sister by being in the middle of everything! :)
Call her back and tell her the menu, tell her you forgot and that she may not want to bring her. Then since you already said yes, you need to give her something. You can go to Walmart and make her her own goodie bag.
We do not do any kind of reward to kids for coming to a birthday party. I just can't wrap my head around such an odd thing. Kids bring items to a party, not the other way around...
bank on the fact that someone won't show. Also, I'd do at least one if not two other tea sandwiches since not every one even likes PB&J (cucumber cream cheese is easy too). Yes make preparations for a different goodie bag and apologize to her mom that everything came in packs of twelve. She will understand and will realize that you are still a good host for getting the three-year-old something anyhow. If all 12 show and you really can't squeeze her around the table simply pull mom aside and say "never in my wildest dreams did I think all 12 people would RSVP yes and actually show and you are really sorry, but sibling has to hang with the moms. Again, whats not to understand. But ABSOLUTELY forewarn her about the PB&J.
First - she was not invited so I would not sweat the food allergy thing. That said, I would call and remind the mother that you are serving peanut butter among other things and to remember to bring her epi pen. That might be just enough to make her stay home. :-)
A 3 year old is going to be left out no matter how hard you try -- she's that much younger. I'm sure the mother thought it would be fun for her, but she obviously didn't think it through...
If she does end up coming, maybe your son and the little girl can go off and play while the older ones have their party.
Good Luck!
LBC
You say you really don't mind if she comes (and at least they asked!), so I'd get something that a 3 yr old might play with vs what you get for the other girls. You can simply say that she's 3 so she got different stuff. Remind the mom that there will be PB&J for all the girls. Maybe just make her a jelly sandwich or ask the mom to make her a sandwich that she can eat.
Call the mom and tell her that you will have pb and j, peanut butter cookies, pecan ice cream, peanut soda, etc.
Don't even have a bag for the BABY because if you do it this year and other moms find out you will have to make 12 baby bags next year.
Also, whenever I had a party, I get my mind ready for the crazy questions--can I bring my pet elephant, etc. I have my answers ready--no, no and no.
