Should Teens Drive Carpool with Only a Permit?

L.-

Absolutely not. As other Moms have mentioned, practice makes perfect but in the right time and place.

For her own sake...take her out of the carpool. The parent who is letting her teen practice with teens in the car is wrong...even if that teen is the best teen on the planet.

From personal exerience, I've been in 3 near-miss situations with people jumping into the carpool lane without notice. I'll be doing 70-75mph - going with traffic AND leaving a safe distance between me and the car ahead of me - and people need to fill that gap. They jump into that carpool lane from a dead stop and they don;t know if they've just cut off a 17 yr old or a 45 yr old, they only care about getting 3 seconds aherad of someone else. So far, I've managed to avoid landing in anyone's back seat, but a day may come when I'm not so lucky. I think an adult's reflexes and reaction time is much more developed than that of a teenager (i.e., a new driver). If I had a teen who was about to drive, I would NOT want them in that lane until they've had more time behind the wheel and until he/she has experienced situations where fast reflexes and quick response times were necessary. Carpool lanes are a scary place to be and I'm 41!

Another simpler option is to suggest the carpool leaves earlier so these kids don't have to use the carpool lane at all. And I agree with the others - if there's an adult int he car, they need to do the driving if the carpool lane is being used. These are teenagers - not nearly experienced enough. I'm with you on this - good luck!

In Australia, learners permits actually specify that this is illegal. You aren't allowed to carry 'extra' passengers at all.

I know, you're not in Australia, but the fact that it's illegal here adds to the argument that it just isn't safe enough.

I totally agree with you. Not only are you adding stress to the teen learning to drive, but the liability is enormous! One accident (even a small one) can reprocussions that can effect you for the rest of your life - not worth it in my opinion.
Good luck!

I couldn't agree more!! I have a high school sophomore and he has been instructed since he was old enough to have friends with sibs that could drive that he was not to be in the car. Both of my sons have actually told parents, "Sorry, I can't drive with you if the teen is driving". No parent has ever been mad or offended.

We have very strict driving with teen rules. Unfortunately, I have a very tragic experience that set the precedence for our family’s rules. My 16 year-old sister, a passenger going home from school was killed by the inexperienced driver when she drove off a cliff. It was here in San Diego and she was 16 years younger them me and I was her emergency contact/guardian, so I received the call. My sophomore son was 2 years-old when she died and to him, he lost his big sister.

Follow your gut and heart! These kinds of mistakes you can't take back or fix. If you think they will drop you from the carpool start calling today other families that might be able to help and fit your daughter into their carpool, incase you need them

Best Wishes,
H.

Without sounding to hard,I think it is very irresponsible to allow a teen to drive a car pool. I cant imagine that the insurance would even cover something like that but I don't know. Driving down the street is different than driving on the freeway or traffic. Normally when people are signing up for carpools, by the way I am going to let my teen with a permit drive is not part of the deal.

L.,
I have a son in high school and another one waiting in the wings in middle school. My oldest son just remined me the other day that he is anxious to learn how to drive. My advice to you is ( and is hope you are not offened by this) to pray and seek God's advise. He knows exacly what to do and when to do it. The Word says "lean not to you own understanding but in all thy way acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path". Who better to entrust our children's lives to than the one who gave them life in the first place.

All the best.
Tamara

I totally agree with your uncomfortableness over this. Someone told me there are limits to the driving permits and, even though they can drive with an adult in the car, they are not supposed to drive with other kids in the car. You could check out the law and pass the info along to the carpool mom, this way you don't look like you are being too sensitive. Hopefully it won't end the carpool since the mom is already in the car anyway. Good luck!

L., practice, practice, practice...it great when it doesn't put other people in danger. I fully understand your hesitation to have your daughter participate in carpool when a teen is learning to drive. There is a time and place to practice drivivng skills; with a car full of teenage kids is not that time.

Ack on your instincts. Tackfully ask the parent to use another time to teach her daughter to drive. Good Luck.

Dear L.,

Call your local Department of Motor Vehicles, they should be able to tell you the proper laws and rules about teen drivers. C. N.

How old are the kids... 15...16...17? I am a high school science teacher and see young adults in a different light from their parents -- these kids nowadays are very immature and are doing very bad things. Also, I feel kids are driving way too young. Their brains are not fully developed to make good reasoning skills. I once read an article in Reader's Digest about 10 years ago about horrible accidents caused by young driver's (that were NOT on drugs) due to their inexperience and over-reaction to driving situations. If there is an adult in the car, then why is that adult not driving, especially if the kids are 15 or 16? If you want to give the kids a chance to practice driving how about NOT in the morning trying to get to school on the freeway. Sometimes we want them to grow up too fast without letting them be kids. I think parents get tired and think it will save them energy if kids just drive themselves. The hard truth is... kids consume your entire life, you took the job, so finish it right. Let me tell you, it is not a bad thing to error on the side of caution -- they have plenty of time to learn to drive, unless they don't get the chance to have more time.

I have a 12 year old boy and an 8 year old girl -- I am not letting them drive themselves until 17. I will take the extra time and energy to drive them until then.

I would be concerned too. Listen to your mothers intuition. I know that once this teen gets their license they are not allowed (by law) to drive other teens in there car for I think a year. You probably already know this. If there are other kids in the carpool, how do those moms feel? I would definitely say something....you are concerned for a reason.

I'm not there yet, I have two young kids but my gut tells me no as well. In fact, as a parent, it is stressful enough driving other kids around knowing you are responsible for getting them to their destination safely. Worse case scenario, there is an accident, the poor teen driving the car will have to live with that as well. I would hope the parent of the teen driving would understand your concern and be fine driving from now on rather than end the carpool. I think you should go with your gut on this one.

L.,

I don't believe it is legal. I don't know for sure about families having the permit holder driving while the sibling is in the back but anyone else and the parent for sure needs to drive. Possibly the teen is telling the parent that his instructor is saying it is okay.

My solution is to call up or email your insurance company and ask this question of them. Have them send you proof of their answer (legal or not legal, would they be covered by insurance) and take that printout to the other parent to open up a discussion about it. Also you could call your Driver Training instructor or school and ask the same questions. This parent needs to see it in writing and then all the stress of making him/her understand is off your shoulders.

Hope this helps,
Evelyn

My kids are adults now, but I'd have an issue with this, and I'm not even a squeamish, over-worried mom! Can you find another carpool situation or rearrange your work schedule until you do find one?

Do you feel comfortable enough to discuss it with the parent of the child that's driving? Do the other parents feel the same way as you do? It seems like the child could practice her driving at some other time of the day and that a car full of teens would be a distraction!

Sorry, I'm not sure I helped there. I would definitely do something - either talk to the parent of the new driver or change carpools...

I would even venture to say that that is not legal... I think I remember something about teens with a permit can only drive with their own family in the car. Regardless, I totally see where you are coming from. I wouldn't want my child in that position, either. You should definately bring it up with the other parents.

I would feel the same way but let me tell you a story that might help with any decisions you make. I am an outstanding driver - I also have no fear of rush hour traffic and so far in my lifetime I've had to drive in it a lot and also have had to drive in a wide variety of traffic situations with a lot of responsibility for a lot of people. As a teen I was guided by an adult to practice in rush hour traffic on a regular basis. The adult was always assisting me with the drive and I felt at ease knowing they were there to help me. I strongly believe that these teen experiences behind the wheel are what allowed me to be the good driver I am today. The point I'm trying to make is that there is also good in allowing the teens to drive in stressful or sometimes tricky situations so that they can get the experience early on. I've driven with other adults and they didn't learn how to do this type of driving early on and they are fearful of it as adults.

If there weren't an adult in the car I wouldn't want this type of experience at all but as long as the adult is assisting I would be ok with it. Hope this helped just a little.

Best wishes so you feel at ease.

I totally agree with you. Carpool is not an appropriate time and place to practice driving. All the other kids in the car is a distraction and even the parent is probably not able to pay as much attention to watching her child. I would say something to the other parents. You do not have to make it an "I'm out of the carpool if this doesn't stop" situation. It can be an expression of concern and request that there would be better times for their children to practice driving. If they are not responsive to your concerns then you will have to decide if you can make other arrangements. Maybe they have not thought of the consequences of an accident and all the kids in the car. Good luck.

As long as the teens are not driving on a permit it is legal. As far as your opinion, I agree that having a parent in the car makes no difference in having other teens in the care as well being safe. If they are driving on a permit you need to inform the parent that it is not legal and since the parent is there I am going to believe that the teen is driving with a permit and not a license. The law states that for the first six months the teen should only have a person over 25 in the car with them. For the first year the teen can drive a sybling back and forth to school. The first year the curfew on a teen is 10 pm. I personally would never put others in the car with my teen for the first year. Good Luck!

My daughter just got her permit. I wouldn't allow her to drive others in a carpool. I agree with you. You have to think of your child's safety first. It's always uncomfortable to confront these kind of situations but you may be helping all those involved by preventing a possible accident. Are there others in your area that can carpool? Can you adjust your schedule so you can drive her? I would talk to the parent of this young driver and just say you are uncomfortable with this and ask that the parent drive when your daughter is in the car. I think most parents would understand your concern. Good luck to you.

I would read what the permit allows. I don't think the permit allows for other underaged children to be in the car with or without an adult/parent. If it does, but it still makes you uncomfortable, don't allow it. A mother's intuition is always right. There is always an alternative. Consult your carpool group and be honest. Hopefully, it wouldn't be the end of carpool.

Hi L.;

I don't feel comfotable having my daughter join the car pool van in your area where there is a teenage driving with permit only. Please protect your daughter and make plan to interview another car pool people in your area. This is only my advise to you since If I put myself with your situation. Ask other parents where your daughter has class with it. I am sure you can find one if you ask your daughter's help to start talking to another classmates and ask for home phone# so that you can contact the parent of your daughter's classmates. Good Luck.

A.

That's a toughie! I agree with you and your fears. I think I might talk to the other parents involved. Maybe they all feel the way you do and no one wants to be the one to say anything. But you have to go with your gut and if you don't feel like this is a good idea, find another way to get her to school (a different car pool, etc) The priority is getting them to school and back safely, and kids driving car pool does not sound like the best way. You might check with your local police dept also. They actually might not allow this. As a parent I wouldn't want the responsibility of having my child driving other people's kids around. That's alot of pressure for a teen.

When my son was 16 and had his driver's license,he had six kids in his car, got distracted, overcorrectee, panicked and ended up going up the side of a small hill and over-turning. I thank God no one was injured. Now, in Hawaii there is a grauated license and a new driver is not allowed to carry more than one other teen in his car. I think this is an excellent idea and I wish they had had that law when he was young. He was a good driver, just inexperienced. And, we live in a small city without any freeways! He now lives in California and doesn't have a problem with driving at those break-neck speeds.

If he were sixteen, I would not allow him to be driving a car with several other people in it. It is just too distracting. If there is a parent in the car, why isn't she driving. A carpool is really not the time for practice! Maybe if you voiced your concerns to the other parents, some arrangements could be made.

Good luck.

C.

I would feel very uncomfortable in this situation. I'd look at the "driving habits" of the teen driver. If their parent is in the car/van also and the parent feels "safe" w/ their child driving it would be a plus. Sounds like you don't have any other way to get your child to school.
If it were the teen driving the carpool and no adults, my answer would be a resounding NO!!
Best of luck
K. B