It's "Driving" Permit time---HELP!!!

It helped me as a Mom to have my son drive home from the DMV. I got the nervousness out of the way immediately. He had been driving on side roads so I was okay with him in light traffic. It is also a sort of "rite of passage" for teens. My Mom did that for me. I am 52 now. Its something you never forget.

You could try letting her drive through a residential neighborhood. She will have to go slow and stop and go at stop signs. Perhaps this way you can both gain confidence....good luck.

I am on my third child, driving and I didn't let any of them drive home from the dmv. I drove them home and then when we got home my husband or I would take them out on some less busy streets, like thru a neighborhood or like you said dirt roads. They need more experience driving, getting used to the car, brakes etc before just letting them out on the busy traffic filled streets. Scary!! and i don't know any parents that let their kids drive home from the dmv. good luck!

S.,

Teenage driving is a major stress for everyone involved.If you're not comfortable with her driving home from the DMV, then don't let her drive home.

"But Mom, all the other kids' parents let them drive home!"
"I'm not all the other kids' parents, I'm yours, and you're not driving home." or "If all the other kids jumped off a bridge, would you?"

YOU are the parent, she is still the child (albeit growing up) and it is still your house and your rules.

Good luck!

Hope this helps,
Melissa

Hi S.,
Well this is a big day in your house. I've taught 3 to drive and have a 16yr old still working on it. First don't listen to what all the other kids are doing. This is usually not to reliable because our teens will only remember what sounds fun not what restrictions other parents use. Second dirt roads and parking lots are a parents best friend and until you are confident with her skills keep her there. When you want to try streets just look for side streets with controlled intersections until you feel comfortable with arterial driving. Let the drivers ed teacher handle the freeway firsts....cause this is just down right scarey...lol!
As to how to break it to her.....just let her know that its for her own good, that your the mom and its your call. My children were allowed permits but until they could pay for their own insurance they were not allowed licenses. My daughter was the only one who had it together by 16, her brothers waited until they were 18 because they we're males and also didn't have the grades she did.
Relax mom you will live thru this one to....just remember that the first driver is the one that you set the rules with because when the rest come along they will try to change it up. And you will always be able to say but your sister waited until...........

You need to let her know you trust her to do the right things, letting her get her permit was a good start. Since you've gone that far, let the girl show you her stuff! She may surprise you. Good Luck, S. H.
I've raised 5 children, some of their friends and grandkids. It's best to start them out young, they'll have all that experience under their belt when they can finally drive without mommy next to them. You'll still lose sleep over this but hey, didn't your Caretakers? Time does fly by real quick. Soon your girls will be asking you this question!

That is so funny. My daughter just got her permit 3 weeks ago and she is 18! I did not let her drive home from the dmv either. She wants to drive all time but I am scared to death. I let her drive around the neighborhood which is fine, but what is going to happen when we get out on the well traveled roads. It is a continuous battle. I told her I would like her to take a drivers ed course first. I feel bad for her. I had no problem with her 2 older brothers there is just something about her driving that makes me nervous. I guess we are just going have to suck it up take a traqulizer and go for it. NOT!

I made myself this promise a long time ago(okay, when the oldest were in middle school): "My children will NOT have a learner's permit a minute before their 16th birthday." My oldest got hers the week after she turned 16, and my son turns 16 the 29th, and he will probably go get his the next week, provided he studies the book and can pass test. That was the requirement for my daughter when she got hers. She took the test and only missed 1(YAAYYYY her!).

Now, I really like what Michelle B said about asking "if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?" That was my first thought lol. Mom's ol' stand-by. Like she said, put your foot down and tell her she's not driving hom until she KNOWS HOW! Think of all that can happen--accidents and someone can get very, VERY hurt, and the insurance will go up, tickets etc. Tell her she needs to learn before she drives--that's the point of the permit, so she can LEARN. I swear, kinds do NOT have common sense sometiems. ;o)

My daughter can't drive between lines the right way and still turns waaaaayyyyy wide(you'd think we drive a Greyhound!). She is doing well for a beginner(and considering we never practice), but she still seriously isn't ready to drive on roads.

Be sure that when she's with you in the car, you set a good example: drive by the rules. She will mimick your example. I try and set a good example, but still slip. That's a resolution I have considering I will be teaching two of them this year.

Oh, and DE, if you can afford it--great idea!

Good luck, and......DO NOT LET HER DRIVE HOME!! :o)

K. W.

just say "NO", you may need to practice this before hand!

This is a test, a big test, as the next questions of why she can't drive her friends to Florida will be easier if you have started out feeling comfortable with your no/yes answers . If you don't feel comfortable letting her drive home it is for a reason that perhaps only you know, but mommies instincts win over "why not????????"

That is funny, here our children have to complete drivers ed before they get their permits (at 400.00 a course). My son just turned 15 and I am scared to death to let him drive, even though he has been driving truck out on the farm for a couple years. The open road scares me. Good luck, and to be completely honest... as hard as it is, I would let her drive home from the DMV.. that was the best for me when my dad let me drive home.. however I didn't get to drive the "family" car. I did have an old Nova of my own, so it wasn't like I could total the good cars. Best of luck TEE

Just like a good pilot she needs to log more "drive miles". Take her to a large parking lot and let her practice parking and driving there. After that quiet surface streets. Be strong and insist that she gets more practice to build her confidence behind the wheel. Don't buy the "all my friends" story, my daughter used that on me and I found out later that she was usually the first to set the trend. She will get her license soon enough and you will feel better knowing she had all the practice she could.

As a mother of 8 I can understand your dilemma. My older children learned on dirt roads. Our driveway was 1/2 mile away from the main road so they got plenty of practice backing up, parking on a hill, increasing and decreasing speed, sudden stops, etc. Eventually, their father and I took them on county roads as they are not as congested like the city. We worked our way to town. My kids didn't feel they suffered starting out on dirt roads and have done well. Tell her not to worry about what the others students are doing, she'll get there soon enough.

Same here my daughter is 16 and she has had her permit for 6 months, she drives with us if i have to go to the store or around the area, and on the freeway, couple of times, just get alot of little time in for her go around neighbor hoods and just get alot of small driving in then go out more in traffic.
Yes its really different for our girls now then it was 20 years ago.I lost my niece when she was 17 so our family is caustious, and my daughter remembers what happened to her.
but don't let her think just because so and so got her licsence or permit you do things on your own time every child is different, and then you have the insurance when they get there licsense.be-careful and take your daughter out driving and tell her its not her u have to look out for its everybody else.have fun but be her learning guide.hope this helps lori

To me drivers ed is a MUST. It gives them class time learning and on the road experience. They have more confidence after taking drivers ed. We didn't have our son drive very much before he took drivers ed. During and after drivers ed we made sure he got his 100 hours of driving time. It's a little nerve racking at times. But you're the mom and you know what's best for your daughter. Driving several times a week gave our son confidence each time he drove. We started him in subdivisions, back roads, then main roads and finally Hwy 126 and Beltline. He's now almost 17 and an excellent driver. I don't worry when he leaves the house. I hope this helps you! I can recommend a great driving instructor for you...Dave Hafemeister. He owns his own school.

I agree that driving 20 mph on dirt roads isn't adequate preparation for driving on public streets. How about a compromise? After she gets her permit, YOU drive her to a rural area with real roads where she can get some speed, but with very few cars, then let her go! This is what my mom did for me, and it really helped prepare me.

We have practicing in parking lots at school or after hours at the mall. I set up cones or boxes. We make courses, forward, backing up.

I tell her driving is much like snowboarding anyone can board...but can you stop? Can you park?

She has become great at paraelle parking and knows she has that edge on her friends as well as MANY adult drivers!

Make it fun ...keep your sence of humor!

P.

S.,

You're going to allow your 15 year old daughter to get her license without driver's ed? Where I live it's required, plus at least 100 hours behind the wheel of practice. If you don't think she's ready to get her license, make her practice more and take driver's ed before you allow her to drive with you or any other untrained "teacher."

No teenagers in my house just yet...they think they are.

My story...My mother couldn't wait to have a chauffuer. I drove home from the DMV. We all have to take the first big plunge at some point. I also grew up on a farm driving tractor, so it was a natural progression to drive a car.

If you are that nervous, tell her that you will tackle the major roads and once we are in more residental then you will switch. Or take all the back roads to let her drive.

Lots of options. Good luck to your daughter!

I'm confused at how these other teens are "ready" to drive home from the DMV right AFTER getting their permits. A permit means they are ready to learn. When our kids got their permits, we let them drive in the quiet street around the DMV, but they were surely NOT ready to drive all the way home. (For one thing, all our cars were manual and they not only had to learn the rules, how to drive with others, but ALSO the stick! Anyway, it was good for them.) The only thing our kids did before getting the permit was to start the car. Anyway, all you have to tell her is that you don't feel good about her driving home from the DMV. In fact, the, "I don't feel good about..." should work with everything. You are the mom, and you are entitled to inspiration concerning your daughter. If it doesn't feel right, trust your feeling and tell her so. Make sure she understands that you love her and want what is best for her. Show love to her by whatever means is meaningful to her. And she will know you are right. Anyway, who can dispute over a "It just doesn't feel right."? Some people call it a mother's intuition, I call it guidance from God. Good Luck!

Neither of my children, now ages 20 and 17, drove home from the DMV, because they really didn't know how to drive yet. Instead, I took them to the local high school parking lot, and let them practice there after school hours. It's a great place for a beginning driver - paved, several loops of parking lots, some stop signs and virtually no traffic. After they could manage the parking lot, we began letting them drive in our neighborhood. This gave them the skills and confidence to do just fine when they began driving in traffic. Teaching a teen to drive is nerve-wracking enough without putting yourself and them into a situation they aren't ready for! Good luck.

You have support. Don't buy in to her pleas to be like everyone else. It's her job to push the limits and yours to set them. Stay with your inner wisdom. I doubt many other moms are letting their kids drive home from the DMV before having more practice.
Hang in there.. the teen years are a long ride!

S.,
Oh dear, where to begin...Sometimes we have to suck it up, and others we can make compromises. This is the time to compromise. Tell your daughter that you will drive to a place where it will be safe for her to get behind the wheel so that she can get some road time. And in return you need to make a schedule of times when you will be available to take her out and teach her the ins and outs of open road driving. This will be a win-win situation for you both. This work with both of my sons, it should work for you also. Good luch and hold on tight!
L.
Proud mother of two sons

I would not let my children drive home from the DMV. I raised 5 and none of them were allowed to drive home from the DMV so near obtaining their permit. When they passed the test and got the license, THEN they drove home from the DMV.

Remember - the 'permit' is so your child can 'learn' to drive, not because they already know how. It isn't just about how well your child drives in the beginning. It is also about 'the other guy". My daughter was driving her car on a country road, getting used to driving. She stopped at a stop sign, looked both ways then went. A woman in a big pickup barrelled over her because she was going too fast. She had seen the pickup way down the long stretch of road and assumed she had plenty of room, which she did. It was impossible to tell how fast the woman was going. These things happen. Only put an experienced driver behind the wheel on our roads and highways.

There are plenty of safer places to learn. Do that first and make that respect for the automobile and the law part of the lesson.

My dsd is 16 and a half now. The time will fly! She was able to participate in driver's ed while in school (she was in the last semester to do that :( and learned a lot while there. What I can tell you is that it does NOT matter what everyone else gets to do or does or will get to do. What matters are your personal feelings about your daughter and her abilities and personality and everything else you know about YOUR daughter. In the state of WA, it is illegal for a new driver to drive with anyone besides family in the car until she has had her license for 6 months. Apparently, we are the ONLY parents in the entire world who enforce this law. And, yes, it is the law of the state, not just our rule. Although I have seen a handful of her friends driving 'illegally', albeit, with a cell phone in hand and not paying full attention, it does not make it ok with my kid. She may hold a grudge but it will be short term and some day she will understand. I do encourage you to take her driving weekly. My husband took her every Sunday. This is a great day as there are less cars on the road. Good luck, but stick to your gut from here on out!

Yes, let her drive home from DMV but make sure and take back roads and know how to reach over and flip on the hazards if she's scaring you too much...warn her that you plan to do that if she does anything risky.

Depending on where you live and where you are going to the DMV at. Also the traffic. If there are back roads to take from point A to point B then I would let her drive home. Just let her know that if she doesn't go by the rules of the road then she is to pull over and let you drive the rest of the way home. I probably wouldn't let her listen to the radio either that can be very distracting. Also don't let her "keep up with traffic". Also as far as Drivers Education goes they aren't there for very long, I think like 6 weeks 3 days a week and 5 or 6 drives before they are done with Drivers Ed. In may opinion they are not in Drivers Education long enough. But when I was in school you took Drivers Education as an Elective in school, so then you had 3 months of Drivers School. They really need to get back to do that again.
To many kids get their license and they don't have the knowledge and end up wrecking their car or their parents car and someone else's car. In my opinion there are to many kids out there that really aren't good drivers and have all that freedom. My roommates son is one of them. He has had his licenses since September and has already wrecked his mothers car and the other day he hit my car because he was talking on his cell phone and not paying attention. Not to mention that he was probably under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.
Don't be afraid to stick to your guns about the driving. But also if at all possible let her drive home as long as there are back roads that she can drive on so she isn't in heavy traffic. Good Luck.

I know what you mean! Learners Permits are for parents with nerves of steel! I have 4 daughters who made it through, but it took its toll on my nerves as times. One thing was consistant. Daughters may feel capable and confident at this moment to drive home, but once they are behind the wheel on the main roads they will need every ounce of encouragement and confidence you can give her. Letting her drive home from the DMV sends a strong message that you believe she is capable of learning this new skill, and that you are there to encourage her. I remember driving home with one of my girls who was determined to get her permit and move forward with her life. But on the way home, I noticed her hands were white she was gripping the wheel so tight, and she was holding her breath. "Just breathe, Sweetheart" was all I had to say. The situation dished up a healthy dose of caution, respect and humility. Be the cheerleader and coach. She can do this. You can do this.

I have a 17yr step-son and he got his permit when he was 15. Out of his three parents, (me, mom and dad) I was the only one that did not want him to get his permit. Then who was the one that ended up taking him to the DMV...me. Go figure. All I can say that if you are willing to take her to the dmv to get her permit then you should be willing to take the next step and let her drive home. If there is a particular area that you are not comfortable with, like a freeway or something, then maybe drive you should drive until after that point and then let her drive. I would explain to her that you are not comfortable yet with her skill level and if she can't understand that then maybe she is not mature enough to be driving. It kind of like buying her a candy bar and then saying you can't eat it. Although I wasn't in favor of my step son driving I understand how important it can be for them. Good Luck.

Well i must be a rare parent because all my 3 kids wasnt allowed to just drive home from the DMV. However when we pulled onto our street which is a 25mph road I allowed it. Dirt roads is great to learn from. I learned from the valleys backroads. My dad made me speed up so my back tires would lose traction and make me get it back and so on.. Maybe its why ive been drving for over 17 years now and dont have a car wreck or ticket yet <knocks on wood>
Drivers Ed is good to take. I wouldnt consider it being nervous because that 1 car wreck she can get into raises your car insurance and so on.

PS remember in most states it is now illegal to have another child in the car with her driving besides a child family member. Good luck

When I took my son to get his permit, I didn't let him drive in town because there were many obstacles. I drove until there was straighter road with no traffic signs. I had him pull over when we reached our town. I think safety comes first, for all involved. I let my son practice on roads that are not really busy. (side streets) They can practice how far to turn when switching roads and not worry too much about on coming traffic. My son hasn't got to drive in a while due to grades. I require C's or better for the privillage of driving.

Sincerely,

P. E.

Hi, I hope this comes across as tender as I mean it. I do think that depending on the roads to and from the dmv that you are overreacting just a bit. My kids aren't quite driving age yet, but I drove home from the dmv when I got my permit (just avoided the interstate) and my baby brother just turned 15 last year, and he did the same. I think as long as you avoid extremely heavy traffic, and your daughter is decently responsible, I think she'll do just fine, moms are always more nervous then the daughters ;-) thats why my dad had to take me :-)

I taught all three of children to drive, the youngest just got his license 2 months ago. With all three, we did one hour of parking lot time before we ever headed out on the road. We used a big church parking lot during non-meeting times; it worked for us. Also, when they got their licenses they have to call for the first six months everytime they left somehwere or arrived somewhere. They truly didn't seem to mind, they understood driving is a priveledge not a right.

I had both kids get there permit on there 15th birthday, they drove home. I made sure they drove all year long in all weather conditions, that way when they got there license, i felt they were ready to drive by themself. They both took drivers ed, and both drove on gravel roads.

Explain to her calmly how you feel, let her share how she feels. Remind her gently that you parent according to your values. You value her safety, yours (the car) and you wouldn't want to see any harm come. Set a driving schedule with her help. Purchase a map (for your area) and let her plot her routes (within your guidelines of course).
Basically just always be patient, understanding, & keep your cool when she drives! Perfection takes time, no good comes from freaking out because she hits a curb or two.

Good luck and happy drving Mom!

Driving symbolizes freedom and empowerment. You can find that balance by taking her to a parking lot first or driving to a point that you feel comfortable for her to drive the rest of the way home.

I let my daughter drive us home from the DMV. I think that made her day :)
I know she made my day!

Personally, I think you should let her drive home. Dirt roads are way more difficult to drive on than nice paved roads, just maybe make her take the long way through neighborhoods and stay away from big traffic?

My dad took me out to new neighborhoods to drive around in for months before I got my permit to help me get used to it, then he let me drive as much as possible once I had it. I know it's scary, but she has to learn sometime. Maybe try to take her to the DMV in the middle of the day when there is less traffic? What better bonding than to let her play hookey for a day to get her permit and drive home when there is less traffic? Just a suggestion. Either way, I hope all goes well! :)

I think that you don't need to worry about what other teens are getting to do or not getting to do. You're the mom and what you say goes!
My opinion (and that's all it is!) is that maybe your daughter isn't ready to drive home from the DMV and only you can be the judge of that, BUT if she only gets to drive on dirt roads her driving skills wil never go beyond the dirt road.

I didn't let my daughter leave the DMV in the driver's seat but I did let her once we reached a slower paced area closer to our home where there were no four lane roads or stop lights but rather two lanes with stop signs. It seemed easier to me to take it slow and yet make both of us happy:)Mine just got her license a week ago and that is a whole different story. - A. B

Once she has her permit, there is no need to keep her on dirt roads! See if you can plan out the route home on back roads. I'd keep her off the freeway for sure, but she can handle residential streets. The hardest thing to learn about driving is getting comfortable with the brake and the gas. It sounds like she has the hang of that. Steering is a no brainer.

I would not let her drive home if she has not had any drivers ed. I would find an big empty parking lot, like a school or shopping center and let her practice on pavement. Pavement is different from dirt in how the car handles. I would get her into drivers ed asap. I would also caution in allowing her to drive with friends once she gets her license. Kids tend to not pay attention to what is going on and try and look cool at that age. There brains are totally out to lunch. I know I have raised 2 girls and a boy. Let her prove to you she is able to handle the resposiblility of a vehicle, this is a hugh responsibility for a kid. And remember just because other parents do it does not mean you have to. I have found out that the "other parent line" is just that. Most other parents are as concerned with what their kids are doing. Don't buy the line.

I know this is an old saying. But it is a very relevent one for you now. "Be quick to listen and slow to speak (or judge)" This is a time when there very individual is going through a growing spurt. Try to remember when you were younger. I didn't have a mom for much of my teen years, but I remember being a teen. I just wanted to be me. I wanted everyone to let me be me too. There is a line to be drawn too. You need to guide her into becoming a "herself" that she will respect and you will too. Let her know her ideas and opinions are worth listening to. Because they are. You raised her! She has to have something great in her mind that originally started as a seed from you!! Hope this helps.

Hi S.! I lived to tell.....2 daughters, neither took driver's ed! Ok here's what I did, I started them at the fairground parking lot, we worked on parking, backing up, and stopping distance ( I was once a driver trainer for school bus driver's) Then, you HAVE to bit the bullet, and put her in traffic, I started in residential neighborhoods, and she had to play my game, I would say "there's a dog" and she would have to safely stop, no squealing or leaving her lane of travel. Once they mastered that, it was on to the freeway (yikes!) but you have to do it, this is where they learn merging, and speed control. Also a good time to work on their observancy of what is around them. Then get off the freeway and go have lunch, or a stiff drink!!!!!!! She will be fine, but unless dirt roads are going to be her main form of travel, she needs to get off of them! One more thing, now that she has her permit, she can drive with anyone over 21, I am assuming you would like that to be you!!! She will do it with or without you, kids are funny that way, LOL!!! Hope this helps, R.

I am about to go through the same thing with my daughter,she will turn 15 in June.She is already driving me crazy about driving but i know she will do fine.My mother has let her drive in a school parking lot a few times.I wasnt with them they did it secretly.LOL.So I think that is a good place to learn.I will take my daughter to practice at a school on the weekend when nobody is around,High school parking lots are pretty big.If she does good I will let her go out of the school and venture out into the neiborhoods.GOOD LUCK

S. - Stand tough on your decision to not let her drive home from the DMV. Just because she has driven on dirt back roads does not prepare her for traffic. Let her drive home the last couple of blocks or take her out to a rural area and let her drive. The next time you two go out let her drive a few more blocks and drive around in parking lots at grocery stores at off hours and have her pull into and out of parking spaces. Purposely find things like 4-way stops and have her go through them over and over again in order to know the rules and how to handle those situations and take her through lots of left turn situations.

I am a Mom with two grown sons and I taught both of them and a couple of their friends to drive. I spent a lot of time with each of them getting practice and experience and gradually let them drive in town and with experience we all became more confident.

Don't try to minimize the ache your daughter will feel at not being able to drive home with her permit. There are just too many distractions that can take over with a young person just learning. You need to maintain the hold on the car keys as when she turns 16 and gets her license she will immediately want to take the car alone and go. Make it clear from the very beginning that being able to drive is a privilege and comes with responsibilities and that you expect her to be adult enough to accept limitations and accept your decisions.

Even though it seems like a strange idea, this is a good time to bond with a 15 year old and being togther in a vehicle while she practices and you gradually come to believe in her abilities and support her abilities as she gains them forms a greater bond. Good luck. M.

Ouch, I feel your pain. Been there. This is a hard time for all of us (kids & parents).
Here in WA state they have pretty strict regs for kids, they have to be enrolled in drivers ed to even get a permit and they have to follow special restrictions when they get a permit and for the 1st 6 mo. they have a license.
My son had only driven a little bit before he got his permit, the town we went to the DMV at was freeway and city driving so I did not let him drive home, he survived. I think it depends on the conditions she will have to drive in and your evaluation of her skills at this age as to whether it is safe for her to drive home from the DMV. It is a nerve wracking experience teaching them to drive, I wish I had the driver's ed car with the brake on my side!
Also know kids always say "Everyone else is doing it..." about whatever they want to do at this age (whether it is true or not). Try not to let that get in the way of what you know is safe and appropriate for you and your kids. They are teenagers and their job is to think we are unreasonable and rebel at some level. I know that doesn't make it easier.
Good luck to you!

Do not let her drive home from the DMV. Take her to parking lots first, then around the neighborhood, not on the freeway until she has about 5 driving hours under her belt.

I know how you feel! My 15 year old just got her permit. OK I'm a bad parent but I have also taken her to out of the way areas to drive. She has always asked questions when I'm driving and I have felt that is showing maturity. I learned how to drive on tank trails on the Naval base in Cuba when I was 14 (and that was with a stick shift). She can drive both stick and automatic. I let her drive home from the DMV but will not let her drive on the freeways yet until she has more experince on regular roads.

Hope this helps.

T.

Ohh I remember those days.....
My 22 year old got her permit at 16 and she was driving our van down a back road. She came to a four way stop, and when she turned she did it wide. Almost hit the oncoming car, which happened to be my best friend.
Then we drove a little farther to a Y in the road and she took the right Y to go to the theater, and she took it to sharp and almost took out a road sign.
So she did not drive my car again. Her drivers ed teacher almost quite after her.
She did not get a license until she was 19 and on her own.

My 19 year old still has no license or permit. My 17 year old wants one, but I am not sure he will get one either. Drivers ed is to expensive.
My 14 year old has driven around our property in his sisters car. He is a good driver so far, he may get a permit. But I am still not sure...... and then we have the 11 year old.

If any of my kids end up getting a permit while in my home, will be taken out on the road with adult friends and family.

Now I do hang out with the High school drama team. So I do know about kids driving. A lot of them like to try and drive home. But I see that it is pretty much an even split as to who drives home from the DMV. Then again I know a 18 year old senior that does not have a permit or license yet.

We also had one of the graduated drama kids take some of the other drama kids out for a night of fun. While going around a corner she lost control of the car. My son was supposed to be in the car, but I had seen how she drives and told him that no matter what he was not to ride with her.
All the kids lived, but there where a lot of injuries.

So make sure you let her know how easy it is for something to happen while driving. As I drive down the road I sometimes play the what if game with my kids. I ask them things like "What if that car ran the red light?" or "What if I passed out right now?" I know it is extreme, but my kids think about what to do before it happens so that when and if it happens they know what to do without thinking. It is the same type of game I played with them when they where young. I don't just ask questions about driving, but about emergency preparedness stuff like, "an earthquake hits, what do you do?"

I also talk to the kids about road rules. Last night while driving with my 11 year old I pulled into a middle lane and turned left. She said mom is that legal? It was one Martin way her in Olympia. I love the fact that she asked, it means she is thinking about it.

Sorry this is so long, I think you hit a hot button for me... LOL
Good luck

Hi S.,

My daughter has had her license for 6 months now and I did survive! You are right about keeping her out of busy intersections until she is comfortable behind the wheel. We started out driving around neighborhood streets that she is familiar with. We slowly went a little further until I would let her drive me to the grocery store. Trust me, your daughter will get plenty of experience if you let her drive whenever you need to go somewhere close by home. She wasn't allowed on the freeway or busy steets until after she had taken a couple of driver's ed classes and had her first drive with driver's ed. My daughter is an excellent driver now and I would let her drive anywhere because we didn't rush and she took it serioiusly. Good luck!

My own daughter who was once so sweet and tiny, is 15 too. It really does stun me that she can be 15 already. I feel like an alien snatched the real daughter out of her bed last year, and replaced her with a look a like, who just isn't quite the same girl I knew. I finally took a deep breathe, and decided to get to know her the way she is now...and we are finally getting it figured out. re: the DMV, you have to do what is right for her and you, regardless of what "all the friends" are doing. Since you grew up with out parents to use this line on, let me reassure you that it is the most commonly exaggerated perception of teens!! It is okay to say no when you need too. I'm not sure that learning to drive on back roads is the safest way to go these days, why not register her in a drivers ed class?? God Bless you and your daughters!

Decide what process you want to take her through. Let her know that you are not other parents, and that what other parents do has nothing to do with what you will be doing. Let her know lovingly and firmly that you want her to learn to drive well and be safe, and that driving is a privilege. How soon she gets to drive in traffic is your decision, which will be influenced by how well she conducts herself behind the wheel on those "dirt roads."

Be clear, be firm. And don't feel like you have to figure it all out ahead of time. It's a new experience for her, but also for you. So take a deep breath, and good luck.

Hi S.! Boy, do I know how you feel! I have a 16 year old son who wants to drive, and the traffic terrifies ME, and I've driven for almost 40 years! I don't plan to just let him drive home from the DMV, either. He needs more time on dirt roads, just like your daughter. I want him to feel secure behind the wheel and I'm not taking the chance that he will be in a frightening situation in traffic right off the bat. Sounds to me like you are a great mom, and you love your daughter enough to CARE about what she does. You know...so many parents today just fling their kids out there, put them behind the wheel and never give it a thought of the danger. Not that you want to be paranoid or anything, but your concern shows your love as a mom. How very touching that you say about yourself that "I am a mess because I wonder where the time went"...well..the GOOD news is that you HAVE TODAY with your daughter!!! Isn't that wonderful? Think about it! Don't look back..go forward with her and I'm sure you will find many ways to enjoy being with her (letting her drive on dirt roads sounds like fun!). Laugh with her, love her and use the day God has given you to the fullest with your lovely daughter! Oh, yes...and, I took three of my older children out on dirt roads to learn to drive when they turned 15, and now all three of them have licenses and are very good drivers. You can do it, too!
:>) J.