Should My 10 Year Old Play a Sport He Dosen't Like?

I think you should give your husband a good whack with a bat across the head...let him know that you would like to encourage independance in your children and that includes your son liking a sport different that your husbands choice...

if he didn't like it and wants to do something he enjoys, encourage not discourage...

I think you are right. Sports should be played for the enjoyment and exercise, especially at your son's age. It was good that your son tried something new, but it is also ok that he didn't like it and went back to a sport that he loves. Allowing him to choose activities that he enjoys and is comfortable with will surely encourage a positive self-esteem. Forcing him to do something he doesn't like is just a waste of time and money and may make your son feel unnecessary pressure to perform to please you.
Who knows, down the road your son may try giving baseball a try again and like it the next time around!
HTH,
A.

I agree with the many other responses who say don't push him to play a sport he doesn't like. What is more important is to do SOME sport that he's willing to continue into high school and adulthood.

HOWEVER, I think it's also important to learn to face a situation that puts some uncomfortable pressure you on. So, if your son practices baseball well, but has performance anxiety, he should be encouraged to face that anxiety. If he's into soccer, then he's getting performance opportunities there.

Absolutely not. Your son will just grow up to resent you for making him do something he obviously doesn't enjoy.

DEFINITELY NOT. Let him play whatever sport or anything else such as band or theatre. My boys played baseball and they were really good at it, but even they said at times, that practice or even some games were boring.

Tell your husband if he HAS to play baseball, then he needs to wash the dishes and and or do the wash or cooking during the whole season he has to play ball. Especially if he doesn't want to get involved and practice with him.

Making a child play a sport is downright mean, And I have seen so many parents do this to their children.

So I am on your side.....if he would rather play soccer, let him.

Abosulutely not!! I'm with you, your husband should be more supportive and he should play the sport he wants - not the one your husband wants. Kids go through phases and he shouldn't make him play something he doesn't like. He will have much more fun doing something he enjoys. My advice to you only. Good luck!! :)

D. -- never force a child to play a sport that they don't like. He tried baseball - didn't like it but loved soccer ... stick with soccer. If he enjoys it - it will give him more confidence and he'll play better.

The main thing is to keep him (and all kids) involved in some sort of sport or team oriented thing such as girl scouts or boy scouts. They learn how to play as a team and learn how to compromise.

Stick to your guns - let him play soccer. I had an ROTC daughter, a basketball son, and a soccer younger daughter and they all excelled in their choice of activity because they enjoyed it and I supported them in whatever choice they made.
Good luck!
D.

Hi D., I have raised 5 sons and 4 daughters. It would be a shame to force your little boy to play a sport he does not enjoy playing. He should get to play soccer and then maybe when he is older and has more confidence in himself he will like to play baseball. Forcing him will only make him dislike the sport and never enjoy playing or watching the game. We had a rule in our home, if a child signed up for a sport or extra curriculur event, they could not quit until they had participated for one year. Take care M.

i think that you should talk with your husband about it. perhaps, if you talk about it, you will be able to come to a conclusion. then talk to your son, both you and your husband, together. figure out his feelings. let him know he is NOT in trouble, and he is NOT going to be yelled at - he needs to share his feelings.

i dont think he should have to play a sport he doesnt want to play. if it were the middle of the season, yes, he should finish the season, but he shouldnt have to play again this year if he doesnt want to.... but you and your husband need to have a talk about it and figure out what your son is feeling.

sometimes when something is forced on a kid, they are naturally going to rebell from that. maybe remind your husband of this - that pushing his son to play baseball isnt going to make him want to play, but supporting the things he wants to do will make him more confident. if your husband is a strong baseball fan, does that make him a loud baseball parent? is he yelling things during the game, positive or negative? this could make your son uncomfortable and embarrassed.

good luck with this. the most important think is to talk to your husband FIRST and figure out what you should do. dont give your son the impression that you arent a team... make sure you try to present yourselves as a unit. then make sure to consider your son's feelings.
sports are extra things in life that kids are lucky to do. they arent a requirement for anything. there are things that he could do that is much more important than sports, such as music or ... etc educational field trips, something else. sports arent something that are very important. sure, exersize is very important, but there are other, fun, less structured ways for that to happen as well.
perhaps, like you said, if dad would play baseball WITH him, he might start having fun with it and want to play it in the future, as long as there isnt any pressure to MAKE him play. i HATED playing softball or kickball when i was in school. i didnt like to be watched that closely, i didnt like being the center of attention, and i was always SO EMBARRASSED if i was hitting or kicking or catching.... i didnt like attracting that kind of attention. however, i LOVED playing soccer because even though the ball is usually with one person, you are a team! there isnt that pressure that everyone is looking right at you all the time. there is teamwork. its different with soccer.
i never played either of theses sports on a "team" but only in gym class. i did play volleyball for 2 years in high school and i liked that too because it was a TEAM thing. there wasnt much focus on just one person when you have to work together.

either way, talk it out. figure out how to come to a solution together. before presenting a solution, ask your son what he feels, what his solutions are. :D

good luck

<<Should I make him play a sport he doesn't want to play?>>

No. Recreational activities should be fun and enjoyable. Would you or your husband like to be "forced" to do a leisure-time activity you hated?

I used to volunteer as a soccer coach and ran into the opposite problem. Kids didnt want to play soccer. What I have learned, you can not force a child to play a sport they do not enjoy. They will resent you for it or just be miserable. I would let your son play soccer or try another sport. Growing up my parents let us try any sport we wanted and ultimately let us choose what to persue. Good luck.

Hi there!
I say, he is 10. let him be a kid and have FUN. Let him play a sport he enjoys. He can always come back to baseball later if he would like to try it again.
Good Luck!

Hi D.-

Ultimately, I think this is a values issue....so I would start there by asking yourself, what is the goal of having your son participate in sports? To become proficient in a skill? To love and find joy in the activity? To learn cooperation, teamwork, the experience of winning and losing, etc.? To have a challenge and stick with it?

I am also wondering if your husband is trying to live out his own dream through your 10 year old. That sounds like a set up for failure, disappointment, and resentment on everyone's part. My vote would to let him participate in a sport that he loves, is challenged by, that produces no conflict between the two of you, and that he is so rewarded by....but those are my values. Again, use yours as your guide, as there will undoubtedly be some conflict with one of those two loves in your life. Good Luck!

I don't think so. If he stuck it out for a whole season and didn't enjoy it, it's not going to do anyone any good to force him to play again.

Tell your husband that he can't relive his childhood by forcing his son to play baseball, it won't work and isn't healthy for your son. Your husband's love of baseball has him fantasizing that your son is going to make it into the minors or majors which was probably his dream while growing up. You have to love the game to put the effort into it to make it in the sport, your son doesn't love the game and forcing it will only make him resent it.

The thing about trying new things when kids are young is to give them ideas of what they like to do, to find their passon. My kids went through the baseball, basketball, football, wrestling, scouts and arts and crafts. My boys didn't care for the football but loved wrestling, one loved arts and crafts the other hated even coloring. My daughter loves basketball but hates competition so while she is good at basketball and her dad really wanted her to try out for the team, she just wanted to have fun with it, so that is what we let her do. Let your little man find what he enjoys by trying new things. The only rule I would put on the kids is no quiting in the middle of the season. If they went out for baseball, they played through out the season and if they didn't want to play the next year they didn't have too. It teaches them to finish things and not be quitters.

Hi D. - being a sports mom for the past nearly 20 years, I agree with you. Not all kids enjoy sports at all levels. I wanted my daughter to do gymnastics when she was little. I loved it, she hated it. We had to prod her every Saturday morning to get going to the gym. It wasn't worth the time and energy. She started playing soccer and basketball a couple of years later and played all the way thru her high school years. It was her choice. Her choice now is to study hard in college and she isn't playing any sports.

My son begged us to play hockey when he was 5, 6, and 7. Neither my husband nor I knew anything about hockey so we didn't encourage it or even sign him up. Actually, we didn't know how to sign him up because the hockey association is run completely seperate from the other sports. But one day, God changed all that, we found hockey information, free registration and equipment and we couldn't put him off any longer. He's now 16 years old, a sophomore in HS and playing at the varsity level. He loves hockey and baseball and excels at both. I keep asking him to run track because he's a gifted runner but he's not interested.

I don't think you can force a child to play a sport they are not interested in. They need to enjoy the experience or it will be a battle forever. Interesting side note, my son's friends don't play hockey or baseball (his 2 favorite sports). His friends play soccer and basketball. So they don't spend time together on the field but they are at each other's games rooting and cheering the other on. Very cool.

Best of luck,

No! Where's the fun in it if he's being "forced" to play?? He tried it, he didn't like it, and now he's making the decision not to play. At 10 yrs old he's more than capable of deciding what he likes and doesn't like. Maybe he'll change his mind in the future, but for now respect his decision and if he only wants to play soccer than that's fine. Just be happy he still wants to be active and play something!

Isn't the point of a game to have fun? If he doesn't enjoy it, I wouldn't force him to do it. You already spent one season fighting with him, why put more stress on your family life? If you let it be, he may come around in a year or two and want to try again. If you force it, he will fight you, and probably start to resent his dad. If dad is so gung-ho for him to play baseball, there's no reason he can't take the time to work with him in the back yard. It would be a good thing for them to do together, without the competition and pressure.

If it was my son, and he decided that he didn't like it, I wouldn't make him. It's not fun doing something you don't like. Sports should be fun not something you have to do.

I have two boys in a variety of sports. I wouldn't make either one of them play a sport they didn't want to play. Here's another perspective--my husband coaches our sons' baseball teams and one of our boys is an avid baseball player; kids who don't like baseball and don't want to be there make it very frustrating for other players and coaches. Tell your husband that your grandson/son needs to do what he enjoys. If not he won't put forth his best effort or have fun and he will resent you for making him do something he doesn't like. Maybe your husband can learn something new and find out that he appreciates soccer after all. Both of my boys are playing hockey this year. The oldest one has been playing for 7 years. My husband is the team manager. I don't like hockey, I don't like being cold and I think it is horribly expensive. However, the three "boys" (my husband included) are having a ball with it. Finally last year I decided I needed to get with the program and I started to learn the rules of hockey and I make sure to dress warmly for the rink and carry a blanket at all times. I am now the quintessential hockey mom--it has consumed the majority of my winter. Although I still don't like hockey I have a new appreciation for the sport and the life long skating skills my boys are learning and I'm having fun with the other parents. Maybe that can happen to your husband too. Have fun with the soccer season! And good for you on "starting over!"

Speaking as someone who generally hated all group sports (except soccer), I would never force a child to play a sport he hates. He made it through a whole season- that should suffice.

I played on a soccer team for several years until it became too competitive for my tastes around sixth grade. It was always entirely up to me whether I wanted to sign up again for the next year. Once I had signed up, I was required to finish the whole season. That's the rule I would go with.

It is particularly unfair in this case since your husband doesn't stay involved with him in the sport but wants to force it on him. Did your husband at least go to the games to se e him play?
There's nothing wrong with playing on a soccer team and then playing catch with the for fun.

I don't think he should have to. In my opinion playing sports as a kid is supposed to be fun, and if after a year he still doesn't like it then it's probably not for him. Also he might change his mind when he gets older, and if so he can play it again then. At least he still wants to play a sport.

I would not force him to play a sport he does not like because it will just make him hate it more. Let him choose and support him 100%. Even if he chooses a sport he is not good at he will be a lot more willing to try if he likes it.

coming from a sports mom.. two boys and they played EVERYTHING at least while young.

the oldest one-- now 21 started dropping other sports and consentrating on football.

now i must tell you, he was exceptional at all the sports he played, EXCEPT football. he so stunk! im not talking a little bit i mean REALLY!

he first played flag in 3rd grade then tackle from then on.
as of 7th grade football was only sport he stuck with.

hmmmm and guess what- he went to college to play. was given partial scholorship but only went his freshman yr.

so..... let the child choose. tell daddy if he loves baseball--- there are adult leagues he can join to get his fix.

my motto for sports was this... and my kids heard it ALOT!

"there are only 2 reasons to play sports. 1- FUN 2- MONEY
i dont see any money so if you're not having fun then we arent spending our time on it!"

good luck and feel free to show this to daddy.

:)

"Should I make him play a sport he dosen't want to play?"

No. Sounds like the only reason to make him play is so your husband can live vicariously through him. If your husband is that into baseball, encourage him to join a bar league and play himself.

Our children know that if they start something (sports, music, dance, club, whatever) that they have to finish it for the year because they made a commitment for that year, but after that it's up to them.

I wouldn't make him play baseball. He did give it a try for a season and didn't like it. Maybe if he practiced he'd gain more confidence (a huge part of being able to hit the ball). A lot of kids move on to other sports because baseball is boring to them. It does get better as they get older and the outfield becomes more involved, but if he doesn't like it, he doesn't. Lacrosse is a big spring sport now - maybe he'd like to try that. Similar to soccer in the running and goals at the end of the field.

Hi D.,

I agree with you. This is your son's life, not your husbands. It sounds like he has someone to help him with the soccer and he likes sports where he is more involved in the game. From Stephen Covey's 7 tips of highly successful people, we do better when we do things that we like. So I'm thinking your son will not do better in baseball because he does not like it. However, soccer is fun and a great form of exercise because he's running along the field the whole time! If your husband doesn't like soccer, then let him opt out from attending the games, while you continue to support him. To me, that would be a win-win. If your hubby wants to share his love of baseball with your son, have him take him to some games where your son is a spectator. If hubby sqwaks, gently remind him that this is your son's life, not his life.

Angie

My husband and I have had a similiar experience with our two sons. We have finally agreed that once a sport is started...you have to "finish out the season," and atleast get a grasp of what it is all about. Once the season is over we are fine with quitting. Generally kids want to quit when they aren't excelling...if you make them wait it out for a season they usually have enough of an idea of the sport to decide whether or not they have a propensity for it. I say let him keep moving until he finds his groove...as long as he gives it enough time to see what the sport is all about.

D., I defintely don't think that your child should have to play baseball. Dad will get over it. I don't have any desire for soccer, but my 3 year old already wants to play. Who am I to say no. I think as parents we need to encourage our children to be involved in activities, the beauty is, there are so many and hopefully he can continue to find the ones he enjoys. I think if your son didn't want to play anything or do anything, then I would push him into baseball if he could not find an activity that he liked.