So my son visits me 2 times a month, One weekend when his sisters are with me and one weekend when they go stay with their dad. he is 15 and very much into computer games. I was thinking of turning his room into more of a kids playroom, because I live in a small apartment. He would have a fouton instead of a queen sized bed, and his room would then have its own TV. It would be purely his room when he visits, but other times everyone will use it. We already store quite a bit of kids toys in the closet.. what do you think?
I will not do anything until I talk to him.. ..
So My son said he doesn't care as long as he has room for his computer! of course! And the room would be his only when he was there...
I would do what is best for the space and family. If that means making the room more functional for everyone. If that means a futon and tv then what teenager would love it? My 15yr old would rather sleep on the futon then her bed any way. Go for it!
J.
Makes sense to me. Tell him about it while you're taking him shopping for a new futon and TV. That will help him feel special and understand that he still has a place at your home.
I think you should ask him how he feels. Can't see why he would say no but it is important that HE decide.
It's your home, do with it what works for you. What you have described sounds perfectly acceptable. Why keep a room sacred just for your son when he is only there for 2 times a month? You need the space...so use it wisely. I wouldn't wait to talk to him. What if he says, "No way!" You are the parent, your authority to do with your home overrides what children say and want.
Definitely talk to him. He might not care, or he might be really offended and feel pushed out. If he feels hurt by the idea, don't change it. Let him have that space for a little longer. If you do change it up, get his input.
It sounds reasonable but don't do it without talking with him and getting his input on how to set it up and insure his stuff is not "messed with" when he's not there.
We're kinda doing the same thing with my SS(also 15) room. We're moving my older daughter out of the "nursery" and into her own room which used to be our guest room and making my SS's room into the guest room/his room. We also have a game area though that has a sleeper sofa in it and we have explained to him that in most cases, when he is here the "guest" room will still be his but that if for instance, my MIL is staying the night or something he may have to sleep on the sofa. I think you're son is old enough to understand as long as you don't make it seem like you're "kicking" him out. My SS is a pretty easy going kid though and he knows how much we love him and that he is ALWAYS welcome at our house (we've actually tried to get him to move in with us but that's another story). So I say, just explain it to you son and let him pick out the futon and tv like another poster said. Good Luck!
Clever idea! Go for it!
It sounds reasonable, but be sure to ask him. He may not like the idea of not having his own space permanently reserved at your home and take it as a sign that he is not welcome if you just do it without asking him (or override him if he objects).
Also, be careful about putting a TV in his bedroom. I know that if I put a TV in the older kids' bedroom, they would probably fall asleep with it on, stay up too late, etc. Make sure that if it's in there, you apply the same rules that you do to a TV that's in a common area. TV is enough of a draw at this age that I would suggest NOT putting it in the room because then it would be too easy for him to just hole up there and isolate himself when he visits while if he has to watch in a common area, it forces him to hang out and spend some time with you and his siblings.
Go for it! You may want to consider a day bed rather than a fouton, though. That way he has the couch, twin bed and a trundle underneath if needed!
I think this is a great idea and he'll probalby really like it!
Sounds good as long as you include him in on the decision making.
This is something to have a big discussion w/ him- he would not have his own space at your house? Think about how that would feel to him.
If there are benefits to him- like he can pick out the furniture, which would be his, as in belong to him, or additional computer games, something like that. But for him to know that there is not a reserved space for him-is that a message you want him to get?
best, k
