Should I Go Back to Work, or Should I Remain a Stay at Home Mom

Updated on October 30, 2008
C.B. asks from McKeesport, PA
29 answers

I have been looking to go back to work, but I have 3 kids ages 4, 2, and 2 mnths. I thought about going back to work part time, but I don't think the money would be enough to pay for day care. My husband works full time, and we just seem to be struggling w/ money. I want to go back to work to try and help our situation, but when I got a quote of $2400 a month to put my kids in day care, and almost fainted. I feel that alot of my marrige problems are do to money problems, and I'm sure that I'm not the only person out there that has problems like this. I don't have and relatives that could watch my kids, so I have no other choice but to put them in day care. I have heard so many bad stories about putting them in daycare. I have been offered a couple of jobs, but I'm just not sure if I want to take them. Any advice would be helpful right now.

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K.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Remember there are several legit home businesses you can start.
www.StartMyHomeBusiness.net is one of them. You can create a huge residual income so you dont have to work forever. Some people have beena ble to stop working their business after 6 years!

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C.M.

answers from York on

Hi C.!
My name is Chris. I am in the same situation as well. I have been home since the end of January, and I love it. But there are times when we want/need a few extra dollars. I also have found that sometimes I miss having an adult to talk to. I did an engine search on entreprenuer.com. This website has a lot of work-from-home programs listed on it. Some have little or no cost to start. I found the perfect one for me. I am now a demonstrator for Vantel Pearls in the Oyster. I love what I do, and have fun too. Maybe there might be something for you. If you were interested in Vantel, I can help you. If soemthing else suits you, the website gives you directions on how to start. I hope this helps.
Chris

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L.W.

answers from Scranton on

I was in the same boat recently i only have one child but with a part time job it would like you said not or barely cover child care while we were working we decided that it would be less exxpensive for me to just stay home but if you are having trouble with money i would suggest going to the public assistance office and seeing if you qualify for assisstance with day-care they do have aprogram that will pay for all or most of day-care if you need it. I am contenet staying home with my son it gives us lotss of quality time but its not for everyone if you feel like you should be working or just want to go back to work I say go for it.

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P.F.

answers from Lancaster on

Hi! C., May I ask where you live? I am in Lancaster, PA Have you ever thought about your own business doing Party Planning? That would be something to consider. You work your own schedule. And you do make money! If this sounds like something you might be interested let me know. I am a PartyLite Consultant and I Love It!! Hope to hear from you soon!

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M.C.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, How are you. I had a baby 9 months ago. I hated the fact that I had to go back to work because I wanted to be with my baby and I wanted to raise him, not have someone else. I am only working part time and its only because I get benefits here.. insurance. There would be no point for you to go back to work if you would have to pay that in daycare. ahhh too much!! :)
You could get involved in a stay at home job. I work for myself for Arbonne. Its a great way to make extra money. Let me know if you wanna chat!
M.

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J.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think going out to work may cause more marriage problems. You will find that it costs money to work, too--clothes, lunches (you'll notice you do more fast food--easy to make foods), fuel, etc. On top of that it will be difficult to keep up with wash, meals, house-cleaning. My advice would be to baby-sit a couple of children in your home. That way you would make some extra money, and at the same time be helping a Mom out that truely needs a good person to watch her child. If you really want to work outside of the home, look into getting a job at a daycare center. They may allow you to take one child for free and discount your other two children. If it were me, I'd baby-sit from my home, though. That way you don't have to take your children out in the rain, snow,etc.

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T.P.

answers from Washington DC on

I am an Stay at home mom and and Work at home mom. I have been a Work at home mom for 10 yrs due to my kids having special needs. I have really made some good money working from home with AVON. If you are interested you can view my site http://www.traciabiz.go.cc or http://www.youravon.com/traciaprice

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C.P.

answers from Reading on

Hi,
I have two sets of twins and I after my first set I went back to work a year and a half later and the same with the next set and realized how much it was for day care and needless to say it caused problems in my marriage as well. I didnt have relatives to help me either, actually no one so I decided to look for a 3rd shift postion so that way I didnt have to pay for a baby sitter and I could be home with my kids which was another concern if I worked during the day. And well it has worked out very well my twins are 13 and 16 and I have been doing this since they were 3 and 6. It has saved us a great deal of money and I can be with my kids and if I have to run them somewhere during the day I can I just sacrafice my sleep but its worth it. Then on the weekends my husband and I enjoy our time together. Good luck.

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

C.- Every person has to make the decision best for their circumstances. However, I think there are great daycares and there are horrible daycares. My son happened to attend a wonderful daycare fulltime since he was 18 months old (he's now 5 and in kindergarten). Some of my other friends have also had wonderful experiences. Others I know weren't so lucky with where their kiddos went and feel it was a bad experience. Again, I don't think a blanket statement that all daycares are good or bad would be fair. However, I think alot of research and time helps to find the one that's the best fit for children that need to go so their parents can work.

But, I do agree with the other responses. If working and the pay really only pays for the daycare and maybe not even that entirely, then it probably isn't worth it. Be careful about second shift jobs or jobs where you work different hours than your husband. In the short run, it's a great set up b/c someone is always home with the kids. However, great lines of communication have to be open between spouses b/c after time, you start to feel like you never see each other. But, again, that's not always the case and sometimes it works out fantastically!!!

Good luck in your decision and I'm sure everything with work out!!!

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A.B.

answers from York on

If you're like my family and can't afford daycare then you could do something like I am. I sell Pampered Chef products. You can set your own hours, the pay isn't bad, and there's no real dress code obligations except a kitchen apron if you're like me and don't like dressing up all the time like Mary Kay and the other make-up companies require. I have a lot of fun with it. If you'd like more information please let me know.
A.

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D.M.

answers from Allentown on

Have you looked into title 20. if your able to get it they pay most of the expense for daycare and i think you will pay $25.00 toward the fee... See what programs are available in your area..

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K.B.

answers from York on

Hi C.! Today is my first time on Mamasource, and I just saw your message about going back to work. Since you posted back in October, I don't know if you've already found a happy solution, and I saw that you had several other suggestions from girls who do direct sales, but if you haven't found something that suits you yet, I'd love to share my opportunity with you. I am an Independent Consultant and business coach for women who want to start their own business with Southern Living At HOME. It's an AMAZING company. Making money is realistic. And the rewards go FAR beyond that! If I could show you how to make this work for you with working 5 hours per week, would you be interested? If you'd like more information, let me know. I'd love to talk to you more about it!!

K. B.

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L.S.

answers from Lancaster on

I have friends in this situation who handled it like this: work for grocery store, wal-mart, etc. that is open all the time, they will be more flexible with odd hours and you can work early in the morning or late in the evening when husband is home. In Lancaster County, I have friends who work for QVC, late evenings (after 8pm) part-time, and the pay is quite good. Also I have another friend who went to work at a nursing home 3 evenings a week, 2nd shift...only needed a sitter for 2 hours in the afternoon. And..she used tuition reimbursement to go on to nursing school when her kids started school. Another woman I know started an ebay business. I hope you find the right solution for you.

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D.A.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi C.,

Would you consider a job you could do at home? I am an Independent Consultant for Arbonne International. If you are curious, check out our website www.arbonne.com or my website www.puresafeandbeneficial.myarbonne.com and let me know what you think.

Thanks,
D.

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D.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

When I had my daughter I quit my job to be a stay at home mom. I did that for 2 years. It was tough on one income, but we made it work. Then I went out and got an envening retail job and my husband worked daylight. The money was nice cause we didnt have to pay for daycare, but we didn't get all the family time together. It started to feel almost like we were roomates with a child together. So I found a part time daylight job and put my daughter in daycare. Right now, I pay half my paycheck to daycare. I am suppose to start a new job in 2 weeks. It is a better job with more money. I can't imagine $2400 a month, that is crazy. I would look into hiring a babysitter or nanny to do it. Or try to see if you qualify for the childcare assistance programs. And if you do decide to go the daycare route, the only thing I am suggest is to call around and find a couple that sounds good to you. Then bring your kids and go visit them. Make sure you spend at least an hour at each one. That is what I did. I went to 3 different centers in one day and spent at least an hour in all 3. The first one seemed ok at first but after the hour somethings started to not sit right with me. The second one I didnt like from the beginning and the third ended up to be the one I loved the most. My daughter also told me which she liked and wanted to go to. I hope things work out for you!!

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

have you looked into companies where you can work from home. I have a corporate job where I work from home 3 days a week and I go into the office for just a few hours twice a week and it works out well...

there are also companies where you can find adds in the back of parenting magizines that allow you t owork strickly from home.

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M.P.

answers from Washington DC on

I TOTALLY understand I decided the best thing for me and my family was a company where I could work from home and something my family would use, but that there were not may people already doing it (so a new company) I found Do-Re-Me & YoU! and well it has been great!!! I do home parties but since we are so new I am always getting home office leads for people wanting to have parties so I am not begging my friends to have parties. I also find that people LOVE the product and since we are created by Kindermusik, we have a great name to back up a great product.
I think that with anything it takes a little time a day to keep my business up and running at a good speed. I work about one hour a day and do about 4-6 parties a month (they take a hour also) and I made over $1000 last month and only did 3 parties where i let my home. I have people always bring me catalog orders or ordering online. I am a blue jean and tee-shirt girl and since I work with other moms that is what I wear to do my parties so not a huge cost for clothes :-)
I am not a sales person and am sure if I was I could do much better... But I am lucky to work for a company always giving out special gifts and patting me on the back which is something I do not get at home. Also we are all working on a cruise that is VERY easy to earn just working a few parties and month!!! Sorry I can go on forever on the way DRMY has changed my life and the lives of the women on my team!!!

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L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Have you thought about getting an au pair? They can be a more economical choice if you've got more than one child, since the placement fee and any salary are the same no matter how many kids you have. There are restrictions on how many hours a week they can work, but if you're only looking for part-time, it might be worthwhile. A friend of mine used an au pair for his kids, and they thought she was wonderful. Just make sure you go through a reputable placement agency.

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L.Z.

answers from Lancaster on

Hi C.,

Youre in a tough spot. To pay that much money alone would not be worth the hassle of putting 3 kids into daycare. You should try and also consider the time to get the kids up in the morning, drive them all to daycare to get to work on time, pick them up. Factor in the gas money as well. Is it worth that much money a month? Would you bring home that much that you yourself could pay the daycare AND bring home enough money to help with the bills, or is the daycare going to be just another expence you and your husband will have to worry about.
I know what it is like to struggle with money! Especially with kids. Is there anything you could do at home, computer wise, make crafts and sell them, etc that would allow you to be home with the kids and bring home at least a part-time pay. I took up making homemade jam and selling them. It does take some time in the kitchen, but helped out. I also make jewelery and sell that as well. When you have all 3 kids in school will be much easier to work than now. You could even work at the school that your kids are going thru. The other suggestion is driving a school bus. That way you CAN earn extra money and keep your little ones with you. OR how about taking on someone elses children around your kids ages to watch. Moms are ALWAYS looking for good reliable help to take their kids to and know they are safe. You can sometimes get $100 per child per week if you feed breakfast AND lunch. And just like your predicament, if they have more than one, charge maybe half for the second child as long as you have them full time too. Thats $150 extra per week for 2 kids! Just set limits of when they need to be picked up by so you have time for your own family.

My son was in daycare/preschool most of his little life. His preschool was great! It let him interact with other children as well as learn things he needed for kindergarden. I feel it was one of the best things I did for him, picking that particular pre-school. Picking the right place is very important. Are they getting the time/love/education that they need or that you could be providing at home. How many kids per teacher? I found a more personal setting was a small church rather than the Y or a larger known daycare. He got more personal one on one with his teachers, smaller amounts of children per teachers and they had lessons for each to learn in that age group. SO MUCH better than being thrown into a bunch of kids who arent as supervised as need be.
I hope this helps give you ideas! Remember YOUR KIDS COME FIRST! Its also important not to miss these years with your little ones. They need you more than that boss who only wants to pay you $9/hr......
GOOD LUCK!!
L.

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T.C.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hi C.! Where do you live? I'm in Mechanicsburg and I'm in a slightly similar situation. I only have one child and he's 17 months old. I'm new to the area and I don't know very many people. I was home with my son, full-time until a couple months ago when I started working a full-time job. I recently quit because the amount I was making was not enough to cover daycare and the bills. I found a job working in the evenings after my husband gets home from work. This way we have both incomes to live on without the added expense of daycare. In January I will be going back to school at HACC for nursing. The daycare there charges $3.00 per hour rather than a flat weekly rate. I'm excited, but very nervous about amking such a sudden, drastic change, but I know it's to better my family and that we will benefit from this in the long run. If you're in the area and need any emotional support or someone to help you with the kids once in a while, let me know!

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M.A.

answers from Allentown on

Hi C.,

I am in the same place right now. Can you find something part time in the evenings when hubby is home? It is very hard to do, at least is was for me, being home all day, and then going out at night and the weekends to work. But it is an option.

Or, could you find a local person to watch the kids. Sometimes private people are MUCH cheaper than daycare.

Good luck!

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K.P.

answers from York on

Have you ever thought of working a second shift job so your husband can watch the kids and all your Money will stay with you? I have an 8, 2, and 1month old and will be going back to work next week. I wait table and tend bar. The money is great and it gives me time out with other adults and gives my Husband a chance to be with the kids without me there. Daycare is hard to pay unless you made ALOT of money to jusify it. Although it is a good social thing for the kids, you can still put them in another program like tiny tots when the time is right. Good Luck to You!

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J.Y.

answers from Harrisburg on

C.,
I was in a similar situation not that long ago. I am (was) a teacher before I had my kids. I quit my job to stay home, but it's hard on only one income. I don't know how much you need to make, but I got a job delivering newspapers. It was perfect for me because I did it in the wee hours of the morning, before anyone was up (therefore you don't need day care) and was home in time to get my husband and son off to school. The money was good- about $300 a week. I thought it was good compared to nothing! It was tough getting used to the hours, but it was totally worth it to me and it got us through some rough months. If you need anymore info, let me know! Good luck!

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B.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

When I decided to quit work, I had to find some way to make up the lost income. I decided to watch children in my home. I have been doing it for six years and it works for me. I have three children too and the thought of paying for full-time care for two and part-time for my third scares me. I know what I was bringing home as an elementary school counselor when I quit six years ago and honestly, I could not even pay for the daycare on that salary.

Would you consider watching children in your home? It is not a lot of money but at the end of the month, it could add up to several hundred, or even over a thousand, dollars and you would not be paying for childcare, gas, work clothes, etc...

Your other option would to look for a home daycare situation. Most people would work with you if you work with them. If you really want to work outside the home, this might be an option.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am in the exact smae situation, I am about to leave for an interview. I have only been looking at jobes that pay at least 12-14 and hour just to pay for child crae. Plus I am not going to be puuting my kids in day care. I will be looking for a nanny soon. Good luck to you I know how hard it is to find a good paying job after being at home for so long.

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A.D.

answers from Scranton on

Subsidized Daycare is Availiable. I put my daughter in a small town daycare across from where my husband works. We were paying $125 for our one child. We weren't elgiable for free daycare, however they were able to relieve some of the stress. We now pay $55 a week. I am sure you should be elgiable for help in that area. There wasn't that many hoops to jump, and was told it was a 4 mo waiting period and was accepted in 2 weeks. There is lots of help availiable to families if you want it.

About the response Jody Y left of the Newspaper Carrier positions.. we are hiring at the Scranton Times and Citizen's Voice for carriers.. if you are interested in checking that out.. call: ###-###-#### or ###-###-#### and we will glad to take your information and have a manager give you a call back. :) With the Christmas Season coming up I know carriers will be bringing in some hefty tips.. You can work just on Sunday or Mon-Sat or the full 7 days.

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N.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

C.,

I dealt with the same thing after my maternity leave. But in my mind, when your paycheck just pays for daycare, then what's the point? I have the rest of my life to put my career first, for now I'm putting my son first. I would have to do daycare as well because my family members all work. However, they are available weeknights and weekends, so I schedule my appts then. Either my fiance or a family member is available. So I agree with the other response, to see if you can do something either from home or evenings/weekends so you're not working just to pay for daycare. That won't add $$ to the household, and may add more stress to the marraige. BTW-You are helping your situation already by being the one to stay home and care for your children. You are adding money to the household with this sacrifice, so don't put that on yourself. If you want to make more for the family that's fine, but don't feel that you are not helping your husband. What would he do without you?
N. W

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you thought about what you want to do? Most jobs do't pay enough to cover the cost of daycare for three children if you work at the same time as your husand. Working at opposite times may work if you really need the money, but may be exhausting for both of you. Sit down with your husband and compare the pros and cons of each possibility for your family. He may not want you to go back to work if it leaves him alone with the kids several nights a week.

There are always ways that you can save money. Look at your monthly expenses and eliminate anything you don't need. If there is a YMCA in your area, you may be able to volunteer in the daycare in exchange for a free gym membership. There is a lot you can do to save money.

Good luck.

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T.P.

answers from Dover on

C.,
It seems the majority of the time, it just isn't financially worth it for both parents to work. I recently quit my job after my boss said no more working from home. The money I would have spent to put my son in daycare, fuel commute would have eaten most of my paycheck. Best case scenario, I would have brought in an extra couple hundred a month. I wasn't willing to give up the time with my baby for that. So I quit!

If you want to return to work part-time, what about finding something you can do either in the evenings for a few hours or even on the weekends? That way your hubby can stay home with the kids.

I wouldn't mind doing something from home, but just haven't found anything I'm interested in yet. (No thanks, Arbonne, Mary Kay, Herbalife, etc)

Good Luck!
T.

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