Just recently I have been having a problem with my daughter letting me leave her at the sitters. Our sitter is a home day care but she has had my daughter in her care since she was 6 weeks old and she will now be 4 in Sept.
But about 4 weeks ago either the neighbors boys or the sitters nephews were over and scared the living daylights out of my daughter in the backyard. Now my child will not go outside to play because she is afraid that they are out there. I have asked the sitter about what happened and she says that she didn't know. Since that time my little one has told me that "the boys" were over and have locked her in a bedroom and other things. I know she is probably at that age where her imagination is taking off. But when I ask the sitter about it she denys it and now "the boys" have names and they are names of the sitters nephews. If they are not there then why do they now have names?
Should I consider taking my daughter out of her care and placing her in a daycare or a different providers care? Reason why I ask is she is now terrified when I leave her in the mornings and the sitter and I have to pry her off of me. Not only am I walking out of there with stretched out clothes from her clinging to me but I am upset that I have to leave her like that.
Any suggestions? I've never had this happen before.
I would take her out asap, because things can happen so quickly. If she is suddenly afraid and you are also troubled, that is a red flag. Get her out so she can feel safe and you can have peace of mind.
Sadly, yes you need to change care. Even if this provider did all she could to keep her safe, your daughters trust of the provider/situation has been broken. I have had one child scare a child by locking them in a room and even though I got them out immediately, the child that was locked in never got over the situation. I've seen other cases where two children were getting into it and after that we were never able to smooth things over well enough for everyone to be happy. Your daughters reaction is too big to think she's going to relax anytime soon and she deserves to be someplace where she feels safe.
Suzi
Hello M.,
As an at home daycare provider for 6 years I have to tell you that you need to find somewhere else. There is no reason that the provider shouldn't be able to tell you what happened to scare your daughter. She obviously isn't paying attention to the kids and monitoring any behaviour. I never allow any of the children to be mean to one another, there is no reason for it. Boys will be boys and by that I mean that they do tend to pick on the girls because they react. However it should not be allowed at all.
Good luck and hang in there, there are some really good at home daycares out there.
Michelle
We recently changed to provider my daughter was going to. When she started at the last sitter she never wanted to go home. She was happy when she got dropped off. Then a few months ago she would cry when I had to drop her home and be ready to come home. She also was unhappy she didn't laugh very much any more and she is two. Well last week she started a new daycare. She is happy she minds mommy and daddy. She is happy to go to the sitter and doesn't want to come home. She has so much fun. Even though me and her dad play with her in the evening we are no match for other children. She giggles again. She is the happy little girl I knew I had. She was just uphappy I am not sure what happed. I asked and asked the sitter and could never get what was going on. My best gues is the sitter took on more then she could handle because it started when she started watch a little baby. Now I just have to see how happy my baby is to know the right decisions was made. She is even learning now. She knows her numbers and letters and she sings she sings so much and it has only been a week. :) GO with your gut you know what is right for you little one better then anyone else. :)
I have a one year old who cries all day at daycare. They know how they feel and whats going on. The stories maybe a little stretched out but for the most part it is probably true. I would take her out of the daycare because more could be going on than what you think and the day care lady might have other kids and be paying less attention to what the boys are doing since they are family.
If your baby isn't happy, I would say move her. She should be where she feels safe and able to play like little ones should!! :)
I would say follow your heart and get her outta there. If she is miserable, then you don't want her there. I am like the others in here that I say if she can't give you an explanation as to what happened, then where was she??? Lots of things can happen when she isn't paying attention. If they are outside, then she needs to be out there too. If the kids are inside, then she should be there pretty close to them. Obviously she doesn't keep a close eye on them. Just my .02.
YES, if you are uncomfortable there is a reason for it. I stayed at home with my oldest and never had to deal with daycare worries so when i had to put my youngest in a center i thought my worries were just "normal mom" conflictions about not being able to stay home. I hated it everytime i dropped him off and he would scream and cry. One day as i was leaving I turned to look back and my ONE YEAR old son was running out the door of the building towards traffic. Needless to say he no longer attends that daycare. Trust yourself, never tell yourself that you are just being over-protective.
Get her outta there. Your child is your most precious possession - trust your momma instinct. Who knows what has gone on - it might be simple and innocent - or it might be the kind of bad thing that makes newspaper headlines. No job is worth a bad outcome with your little girl. Good luck.
Please Please Please listen to your gut. They don't call it a mothers instinct for nothing. The very first daycare my daughter went to turned out to be a nightmare!!! At first my daughter was good going there but just a few weeks after she started things started to change. I noticed little things. She was more withdrawn toward the kids, she wasn't her happy self. Come to find out when I dropped her off the sitter would put her in the crib and leave her there until lunch time. Then she would take her out change her diaper and after eating she went right back in the crib. She would bring her out just before I got there to change her diaper so I wouldn't notice anything. I asked her what was going on and she said she didn't know. Then I found out from her that her and her daughter would pin my daughter down to the ground to change her diaper...she was 10 months old. She said she squirmed to much...she was a baby that is what they do. After that happened I started looking for a new sitter and found a great one. I wish you the best of luck.
HI M. im A. and if i was u i would there might be a possiablty the boys or sitter did somethinng to her maybe ib the wrong way but first i would confront her and to make sure she didn't do anything.
If your daughter is terrified and the daycare provider is taking the approach that she doesn't know anything about it, then definitely get her out of there! The daycare provider should be as concerned as you are about it or at least try to find out about the incident/s and work with you on it. I doubt your daughter would make up this information out of the blue. Something must have happened to frighten her. Have you tried sitting down with her and your daughter and talking about it? If the daycare provider isn't willing to do that, I'd be looking elsewhere. Others are right, she should have been watching the kids. I'd be concerned also about how old these boys are. Boys can be mean and also inappropriate. I wouldn't just let it go, you owe it to your daughter to believe her for now. If you find out she made it all up, then you can deal with that issue.
That is a BIG BIG Red flag to me if the provider is telling you she does not know what is going on or what has taken place . My question to her is why where are you and what are you doing while my child is in your care she should be able to tell you almost every move she makes in a days time . You really need to use that mothers instinct and find a home or facility that is more stable and secure that you will all be happy to leave your prize possesion in .You dont want to take your chances of something really really bad happening that will scar her for life or be scared to be around other children . Good luck to you and your daughter . M. G.
