Should He Keep Pictures of Former Family and Girlfriends

Who cares, honestly! :) He has a past, doesn't everyone. I still have photo albumns with numerous ex's as does my husband. I'd never think of asking him to get rid of his memories nor would I get rid of mine.

Yes, dear, I think you are overacting. As long as he loves you and is faithful to you, let these reminders of the past rest on the shelf. They are, after all, part of his history. G.

They are part of his history, memories, and life. You are out of line. But to store them in a less prominent place is fair.

The past? It is either here to teach us or haunt us, we get to decide. I will not tell you what I think I right or wrong here, I will share with you what I know.

I know that everyone comes into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

I know that every single person in my past helped me to be who I am today.

I know that everyone I am to still meet will help me shape who I am becoming.

I know that I have many mementos, pictures, cares, notes etc, from people in my past because they remind me of who I am, who I was, and who I want to be.

I know that without every person who has touched my life, I would not be the person I am today.

So no advice, just a couple of questions…
1. Is he “pining” for the people or the past he no longer has?
2. Is he “wishing he was there”?
3. Is he speaking endlessly of “what was”?
4. Or is he just human and want reminders of the special people in his life who helped him become the man you fell in love with?

You get to decide what the pictures mean to you.

B.
Family Success Coach

I would say over-reacting big time.

Just imagine if in 25 years your 2nd husband insisted that you throw away all the photo albums with your son & daughter in them??? No matter what your present day relationship with your grown children... even the IDEA that someone would want those pictures burned is heartbreaking. Or the idea that the pictures of your children are contaminating the pictures of his new children... doesn't even the idea break your heart? Your babies' baby pictures, the story of their childhood, someone would want sent to the trash?

I would say get rid of the pictures of the old girlfriends and exwife but you have to keep pictures of his daughter.

The people who are no longer in his life still helped make him the man he is today. He probably thought that since you never said anything about the old pictures, it didn't bother you. Do you think you could be content with the items just not being on display - maybe boxed up in the garage or at public storage? That way you aren't forcing him to throw away his memories but you don't have to be reminded that you weren't the only woman in his life.

Be especially careful about the subject of the daughter from the previous marriage. Remember your children are her half-siblings. If she ever softens towards her father - you could end up with a lot of enmity thrown your way and you wouldn't want your children to get any collateral damage.

Oh, dear. OK, sounds like the albums are just the tip of the iceberg. I agree with everyone else, let him keep the albums, they are his history. But it sounds like you guys are tussling about your contact with your family? It is hard to tell from your response but sounds like he wants you to reduce your contact with your family? Just based on what I have seen and experienced along the way in life, probably 1 of 3 things happening here: 1. He is trying to isolate you from your family, which is a sign of an abuser - not good. Or 2. He feels like your family takes precedence over him - and probably a talk with a good friend outside the family who will be honest with you and tell you if that is so. Or 3. Maybe you are complaining about your family a lot and he feels if you put some emotional distance from them it would be good for you? You have to really figure out where he is coming from and take it from there. Take care.

This the "serious relationship" problem that you have? That your husband keeps old photo albums? They aren't hidden away, they're just on the shelf like your old high school yearbook. Good grief!

When I look at your age and his, I think about how your husband was an adult grown before you were even born. You married someone old enough to be your father. Accept it, he has many years more experiences and memories than you do. Asking him to get rid of the pictures of his life, before you came into it, is not going to make that past disappear.

Everyone has things and spaces that belong to them alone. Those albums are his personal property and really none of your business. Be respectful of him and his personal space. Leave it be.

I am sorry if this doesn't sound very nice toward you...but it's the holiday season, you have a husband, home and precious children. Quit looking for trouble and concentrate on making a happy home and lovely holiday for you all.

Hmmmm... I can see your side, but you have to remember that he IS much older and has lived a life that he probably wants to keep pictures of so he can look back on it as he ages further. Those ARE his pictures and, in my opinion, you need to work on being more secure with yourself so that you don't care if those pictures are around. I have photos of my ex's and my hubby has pictures of his ex-wife still around. I don't care because i know he upgraded and if the time ever came to part ways... he would be missing out.
This is something that probably should have been addressed prior to getting married, but to INSIST that he void his life of his photos... probably only going to cause more trouble. Ask him if he would be willing to store them in a photo box maybe under the bed or in the closet or in a sealed container in the garage. That way they are not in the house, but they are still his to take out when he would like to. My hubby is 13 years older than I am and i know that there are things that he is very set in his ways about... this might be one of his.
good luck though but don't let photos be something that would destroy your marriage.

Hi A.,

It seems to me that you are not qualified to judge which photos of his are worth saving. His previous life is what led him to you, and may I suggest that you focus on rejoicing that he is there with you? It sounds like they are important to him to have them in albums, etc. I would also suggest to you that he may have reasons for cherishing them that are super important and clear to him, while being meaningless to you. And perhaps you will never understand his reasons, even if he can articulate them perfectly to you. No matter; his reasons are valid. Maybe it's worth trying a compassionate approach. Maybe it's worth suggesting a compromise? Let's not get rid of them, but perhaps store them in another part of the house that isn't so uncomfortable for you? And maybe ask yourself why you put so much energy into it?

All the best to you in your navigation of this issue!

Relaxe he love you and his children but hi still regreat what happer befpre uou came into his life whem he can let go he will ad no hills

Hi. If it is just the one photo albumn and he is sentimental and wants to hold on to some pictures from the past, I see nothing wrong with it. I am happily married to the love of my life for 16 years now and I have a box with pictures and cards from previous boyfriends in my closet. It sounds like you are overreacting, but I am aware that there may be more to this. If he just wants them for sentimental reasons maybe he can put the pictures in the garage...not keep them on display in your library.

Without trying to be harsh - it sounds like he was not the best choice for a mom of 2 young children.....especially if he doesn't even have a good relationship with his own daughter. Maybe you should take a look at all the aspects along with him not being able to let go or ex-girlfriends.

I think he had a life before you and once you chose to marry him, you chose to marry all of him (past included). I once threw out my old prom photos so my husband wouldn't be upset about it. As we look back on it, I'm sad that I don't have those memories of being young and wearing nice dresses and he realizes (now that we've been together for longer), that those were memories worth keeping because they made me who I am today. Your husbands photos are even more important than prom photos - some of those are his children. Even if he doesn't communicate with them, it is all he has left of them. Don't take it away from him for your own satisfaction.

Ok the ex wife with daughter I understand. Him being sentimental over one of his kids is understandable (heck, if my kids grew up and hated me I would still love them and have pictures of them in the house) but the ex girlfriends? Not so much. I would let him keep it but it would have to be in his "man room/space" For my husband that would be the garage... and knowing him in a box...

Personally I would ask him why he kept them. Tell him you don't want an answer today, you will ask agian 7 days from now so he can get his thoughts and emotions sorted out and have a real answer for you. Men ususally are not good at understanding why they want to do something until they are made to think it through. Email might work as well. My husband is much better at communication via email than anything else... it is how we discuss everything including parenting, money issues, and resolve fights and the like (of course it can't be something that needs to be fixed NOW, more long term things). It allows us both to articulate things before we respond and prevents the first mean thing that comes to mind being said causing hurt feelings.

i see why these mementos might make you feel insecure about your relationship. but keep in mind, you're asking him to get rid of his past. his past made him the person you fell in love with. keeping these things doesn't mean he loves you less than them. these albums are no threat to you. sure, right now his daughter doesn't want to see him, but that may not always be the case. you should focus on making new albums of your life together.

It seems unfair of you to make him get rid of all his old memories - he is married to you now - making new memories - but that does not mean he can't enjoy the memories he's gathered for 59 years...our history makes us who we are today - even though we live in the present - there's nothing wrong with enjoying our memories of the past. What you are doing is something a high school girlfriend does...it's immature and unfair.

Hi A.-

I think as long as he's not bringing out the pictures all the time, tand pining for the past, then it's ok that he has them. The fact is that he does have a daughter from a previous relationship, and while she may not want to have anything to do with him now, she might later. I personally think would feel awful if I had that kind of relationship with my child and would hope that after she gets older and away from his ex-wife's grasp, she might come back. Looking at pictures of his daughter would be normal. The other pictures are part of his past, but they are still his past and his experiences and I think it would be wrong to insist that they be thrown out.

I see nothing wrong with him having pictures of people from his past. As long as they aren't out and framed or something! I think it's reasonable to ask he store them out of sight though, like in a closet or garage or something.

But yes you are totally out of line to ask him to get rid of them completely. Those are memories, history. Family History. Even the ex girlfriends. Lighten up, he's with you now, that's all just the past. Unless you see him poring over the photos every night and laughing and crying with nostalgia, who cares?

First, have you talked to him about why he hasn't gotten rid of them? He might be keeping them because they remind him of good times in his life. (Not saying anything about his life with you. I don't know you from anyone else on here.) Second, there is no way I would make him get rid of pictures of his family, even if they aren't talking. I really suggest talking to him about how you feel with him still keeping them and maybe you two can figure something out.

To answer your question for the update, yes if that was me I would be very hurt. If he is telling you to forget your family and start at new, then he should be doing the same. It is unfair of him to ask something of you that he isn't doing himself. Good luck.

I am truly shocked at all the angry women out there that are attacking you. This site should be a place to get advice not to be attacked. Now here's my 2 cents: His daughter may not want pictures now but she may when she gets older. Save a couple of albums of when she was a child & store them in the attic for her for later. As far as ex-girlfriends, it depends on how long ago they dated. I think a few pictures from high school is kind of cool to look back on, however I don't think keeping pictures of random girls he went out with for a few months are worth keeping. Maybe the two of you could go through them together & you could pick out the ones with his friends & other family members. I didn't read all the messages on here but I did like the idea one woman had about cutting the exes out of the picture if it had other people that he may be close to in it. Don't feel bad about wanting him to do something about it, it is time for him to move on.

Good Luck & God Bless!

you are over-reacting.How insecure are you? You can't ask someone to throw out their past,their memories,just becauseyou feel threatened. Get a grip.

You are better than I. Those albums would be thrown out and I would not mention them any more. If he goes looking for them then he'd have some answering to do.

The daughter's pictures would be tho only ones to remain. Hopefully her mom still has pics of the former family...

I am with you on pictures of old girlfriends. That may seem a little strange. But I think it is unreasonable to ask him to get rid of children and their mothers pictures. Right now he may not have a relationship with his daughter but in the future if he does she may want to see these pictures.

I am a product of a second marriage so I understand. If you had a child from a previous marraige or relationship I am sure you would want to keep the pictures of him.

It seems as though you are feeling a little insecure and should talk calmy with him about it.

He should be allowed to display pictures of his daughter whether she wants anything to do with him or not and the others they should be locked away in the attic somewhere. Sounds like he has trouble letting go or throwing stuff away maybe because of sentimental value but not to demean his relationship with you. But I wonder though what is really bugging and why these pictures make you feel second best in his life, the pictures are a symptom of something much bigger.

I'm sure it's hard for you, but I did throw out a lot of old pictures of me with ex-boyfriends when I was in a relationship and I wish I hadn't. Not because I wish I was back there, actually just because they are fun little memory markers of times in the past. As long as he is happy now, with you- don't take it personal that he doesn't want to get rid of old memories. I do know it's hard, it's natural to wonder, but try to understand that he may just want those reminders of different times in his life- we all do sometimes. I'm very happily married, and sometimes I like to go down memory lane and remember what things used to be like... I don't wish to change anything, just relive the good once in a while. Like everyone else has said... he was an adult before you were born- you can't expect him to be in the same place you are.

I know you have a family with him, but if you and his family now is not enough for him to let go of the past then it's time to move on. You do have the right to feel the way you do, you've been way to patience with him and waiting for him to change or take that first step and sometimes being nice just don't cut it..tell him what's on your mind and what your feeling or your just going to kicking yourself in the....

My husband and I were together a few years before we got married and now married for 6yrs now. He had photo's of his ex's and what I did was I cut off all their heads off of the pic and left the rest of his friends, and what I couldn't cut off I just toss it in the trash. He didn't care, because I'm his wife and we have a family. Though your situation, your husband had a family, mine didn't. I have a friend who's similar to yours. He had a wife with 2 girls and now that she had taken everything from him. He had nothing, his girls are all grown and wants nothing to do with him, but he just tries to do and be there for them and I feel really bad for him. They put no effort as his kids, but now that he had remarried and she had a son. He took them in and made a family. He took his new family to see his daughter's wedding and spend money he didn't have and was so disappointed that his family had disrespected his wife and he had told me it was the biggest mistake ever.
Well like anything else, we're just HUMAN...good luck

Honestly, I think you're overreacting. It's part of his life history that didn't go away when he married you. I think the bigger question is why you feel so strongly that he get rid of them. Do you feel threatened by his past relationships? Do you feel he values them more than his relationship with you? They're just pictures. Is it fair for him to ask you to throw out all pictures of you with past boyfriends?

If he's willing, he should ship any former wedding/family pics, that aren't sentimental to him, to his daughter. She may not want them now, but maybe for her future children to show them their history.

Again, they're just pictures. Take a deep breath and realize he's with you, not those other women. He chose you.

yeah, this would urk me too. but he will always love his older daughter, talking or not. why not move his past family album on the other end of the shelf. you and ur babies will make new history with him.

Forgive me, but would you want him to throw away pictures of you and your children together if for some reason down the road your relationship doesn't work out? He loves you and he will always, hopefully, hold some reverent place for you in his heart and mind and life, even if the future turns for the worse with regard to your relationship. The heart is deep and life is long. There is so much room to love.

i don't see why he can't keep the photos..they are memories ...maybe you're not secure w/ your relationship? if you were it wouldn't bug u...i remember when my mother got my father's old photos out and cut his ex wife's face out of all his old family pix..he didn't have many...even as a child i found this to be so ugly. I have photos of ex's ...i would be creeped if i had a new man in my life and he demanded that i get rid of all old pix w/ any ex's in them..that seems so needy...controlling etc..who cares...they're a thing of the past..just have him put the albums in the basement/garage or somewhere out of your view. I'm just not a jealous person unless i'm being cheated on & if that happens i just end the relationship or i work it out. So as u can see i'm not on your side w/ this one..stop focusing on some old pix and enjoy your husband he's with you isn't he? so what if he has some pix of his old family..what if you guys didn't work out would u not want him to have any pix of u guys?

Hi, A.:

Perhaps try and think about it in a different light. For example, I still have old pictures/letters of my previous boyfriends before I met my husband. (Granted, we met in college, so it's not like there were THAT many--ha ha.) I've been with my husband for 18 years and we have a 2 year old son and another on the way. He is still the most important person in my life and my best friend. Still, I'm a very nostalgic person (and a writer who pulls from my memories often) and even though I almost never look at the pix, etc. (it's been probably 5-6 years since I last perused my "personal" box, I like knowing they're around. They are part of who I am.

Perhaps, your husband is similar? He's had a whole life before he met you and it might not be fair to ask him to throw his keepsakes away. He may interpret it as you asking him to deny his previous life ever happened. Still, I'm not sure he needs to keep it out with the rest of your family's stuff. Perhaps it would be fair to ask him to keep the pix etc in his office (if he has one at home) or even up in the attic (that's where my stuff is.) Anyway, the fact he still has the stuff doesn't mean he finds you any less important or loves you less is all I'm saying. They're just part of who he is. Don't ask him to throw it away, just maybe suggest he keep it in his own personal space or certainly away from your eyes. That's fair.

Hope this helps.

Best, S.

Okay....
Who is in his bed? You are....
What are in the albums doing? Sitting there....

Pictures are just pictures. You both had lives before your marriage. Each of you deserve
to have your memories. What about your boyfriends pictures? I think it's fun to look back with your children and let them see how funny you looked back then.... I have jewelry in my jewelry box and trinkets of old high school sweet hearts... I do not wear them, but keep them in a memory place. Now, these are only one or two pieces. Not a big stash. And my Husband has a few too. Why be jealous??? I have a wonderful husband and he trusts me too.

If the pictures are just sitting there, it's no big deal.

Choose another battle worth fighting for.

Keep the pictures in the albums. If there are 2-3 albums that is fine... if there are 10 albums of pictures, offer to organize them or put them in a keepsake box in the garage where they are preserved and safe. He will appreciate you for this act of kindness.

good luck!

Yes and Yes. I think you should consider and talk to him about why he is keeping these things. Some people just keep EVERYTHING!! My father-in-law would keep a picture of people he didn't even know I swear!! I can understand keeping the photos of his children. If he has any desire to reconcile then I can see why he wouldn't let them go even with the x-wife in them. His previous family is still family even if the x wife is really nasty. He may have a hard time trashing the pics of memories that are happy and may not be interested in cutting the x out. The x girlfriends is kinda weird which makes met think he's either a pack rat or just hanging on to a fantasy past. I found a batch of wedding pictures from my first marriage when I was moving my stuff to my hubby's house when we got married. In every picture everyone looks happy. It's a total fantasy and some people seem to hang on to these fake memories. My grandmother still has pics stashed of her first husband who was HORRIBLE but she was so happy when they got married and she has clung to that totally false memory. We still have a bunch of pics of my hubby's x that include stuff with the kids but not any that are just her or just the two of them. Instead of pushing him to throw them out try to get to the bottom of things and find out the real reason. Be open minded because I'm sure if he has x girlfriends pics then the x wife probably had to deal with the same thing. He married you not the other gal's. I'd bet it's more about clinging to the past to make himself feel better. If the daughter doesn't talk to him he may keep the 'happy family' pics just so he can make himself feel better. Either way don't allow yourself to be angry about this. Find out the root of the problem and deal with THAT instead of being upset about the pictures themselves.

I think you are def overreacting here. I have pictures of old boyfriends in an album, it doesn't mean I don't love my husband and am not happy with my life, it just means I had other relationships that made me the woman I am today. I dont' take out the old albums all the time and look at them but I like that they are there and I can look at them if I feel like it. They're memories, nothing else. I won't erase my past just because it's gone.

Now I would ask myself the question, why does it bother you so much that he has those pictures? Like the other people said, it's just an album, it's not hidden, he's not sneaking around. Are you afraid that's what's going to happen? Don't feel threatened by it, honestly, it's no big deal.

I think that your husband has a right to keep the pictures from his past. Why should you feel threatened by a picture? Memories remind us what we have done wrong in the past and what we can do to make the present and future better. As long as he doesn't keep them out in frames (except his daughter)what does it matter? Especially when it comes to his daughter, please never ask him to get rid of her photos. She is his daughter even if she never talks to him. From reading your update I see what he is asking you to do things that he himself is not. When he says these things to you, ask him in return why he doesn't pratice what he preaches?? Just because he is older doesn't make him wiser. We all makes mistakes and bad choices and long as we learn from them we will be stronger and smarter. When it comes to family we all forgive in our own time. Do what is right for you.

My question is WHY DO YOU FEEL THREATENED by the fact that he keeps the old photos? We all have past lives but it doesn't mean we still want to be with our ex's. It's not like he's displaying these photos. I have photos from my past and some of them do include photos of people that are no longer in my life. So what? It brings back memories for me and that's it. I never understood why people get so jealous over old photos! You are married to him now and it sounds like you are over reacting. The 25 year difference may have something to do with it but there is no reason why you should ask him to throw them out.

Hi A.,

Let it go. He had a life before you that made him the man you love. He's with you now; what's in the past is past. My husband has tons of old pics of his old girlfriends and I not only scrapbooked them for him, I had him tell me all about them. It was great hearing stories from his BS (before S.) life. Turns out I went to school with most of their younger brothers and sisters and we had a great evening recalling our pasts. All these women were welcome guests at our wedding 19 years ago and we're all still in touch today

I think the serious relationship problem may be why you're so freaked out by old photos. Would you/have you exorcised YOUR past for him? What would it say about a man who would request that of you? Is this issue something behind which you're hiding? Is there something else that's the real problem?

Good luck, A..

Dang, people sure are mean and judgmental. In any case... I do not think you are overreacting at all. Let's call it Spring Cleaning. Take all photos of said daughter out of the old albums and go buy a little album to put them in, something perhaps small enough for a desk drawer. Take the remainder of the photos/albums and pack them away in a tub. Label the tub so that if your husband or anybody on his side of the family would like to see them, they can access them easily. I'm assuming these albums are seldom if ever looked at, in which case you can consider them clutter. There is no need to throw his memories away, people need to do that on their own, but there is also no need for you to have those pictures in your house either. Daughter photos, yes! Exes go in the garage!!! Good luck!

You really need to CALL Dr Laura

He is a nearly 60 year-old man.. that's a lot of history. And how would you feel if someone asks you to erase your history, be it good or bad? A life of memories can make us who we are...(again be it good or bad). Sometimes it's healthy to reflect on our pass...and pictures are a way to do that.

i think you should let this go and love your husband. Maybe being that you are much younger than him, you still have a long road ahead to learn a few things about life's journey...things that he's mature enough to know about and able to separate (the difference between) pictures/memories and actual feelings/relationship.

i'm only 34...i sure know that i have a lot to look forward to and learn in growing older.

This is hard. Don't say a word. Let it go. Pictures are just
pictures. Concentrate on being nice and loving to your husband. Make him the center of your world and he will be
so glad he married you. The pictures will reminded him of how much better life has become.
B. v.O.

This is just me, but I wouldn't ask my husband to get rid of these albums. I would definitely keep them away from the kids and make sure I felt secure about WHY he was keeping them, but it's part of his history. Just me.

I think you're being more than a little self-centered. Whether you like it or not....he had a life before you came along...you can't ask him to give up his past...it's not like he's flaunting them at you....they're in photo albums....my husband chose to put his albums in the closet-out of my site, which I thought was a little funny...they don't bug me...it's his past......I am his future.....rethink it...good luck

I think keeping pics of his old family are ok. He's linked to them no matter what...they're family.

Ex-girlfriends...he needs to toss those. If they're no longer a a big deal to him, then why would he put up a fuss to throw them out? Are they his trophys to show off and add to his ego or something? Before I married my husband I threw out all momentos of my ex-boyfriends. They don't mean anything to me anymore.

To the other posters who think it's ok....the past is the past. Yeah they made up who you are now, but get over yourself and move on into the future. A., even if you are overreacting, he should consider that it bothers you and eliminate the problem. You are his wife now, and he needs to make you happy, vice versa.

A., I have read your request as well, response...and did not read anyone else's comments. But my thoughts are, you can make him get rid of them, but it won't change things. He is holding on to something and only he can let go...you can't make him. If you lower yourself to him and "do it because he did it", then you dismiss your own family. Hold on to your family and remind him he for whatever reason has chosen to hold on to some memories and you are entitled as well.

Not that I don't understand. When I met my husband, there was a framed photo in the spare room of his X-wife. When he told me he loved me, I asked if he loved me, then why is he still holding on to the photo of his X-wife. He ripped it up and flushed it. It took about 1.5 years before he finally quit bringing her name up in conversation. Thirteen years later, I can't remember the last time I heard her name.

I am 43 and have an ex-husband some ex boyfriends and a current boyfriend I live with. I know its kinda hard to be ok with it, but everyone has a past. I still have my pictures from my first boyfriend to now. I keep all of it, it shows my story in life is how I see it. You can't change the past and as long as he doesn't look at them all the time wishing he could go back to that life I wouldn't even worry about it. Just be happy and only display pics of you and your kids. I know when I was in my 20's I did exact same thing, but now in my 40's I am more laid back now. I think that in time as your marriage goes year after year, you will laugh at it all. I know I do now when I think of all the things I was so critical over then.

In my honest opinion, I think your husband keeping pictures of his previous family (including his wife) is fine, because those people are an important part of his life, even if he has no relationship with them. You are overreacting to him keeping pictures of his family.

Now, as for keeping pictures of his former girlfriends, those he should toss. Even if those pictures are gone, that doesn't mean he isn't going to think of or remember them in anyway. So talk it over with him and explain why you don't want him keeping those pictures of former girlfriends.

you know i think as long as they are in photo albums and not all over the house it really should not be that big of a deal. i have photo albums from my "past", they have lots of pictures of friends past and yes a old boyfriend or two. my husband has old pictures as well. we are confident in our relationship. maybe a good suggestion would be to box them up so they dont bother you.

Compromise means that neither person gets exactly what they want. He wants them on the shelf with all the other albums. You want them thrown away. Since marriage is all about compromise, NEITHER of those things should happen. Put the albums in a safe, but out of sight place. Explain to him why that's important to you, but don't expect him to agree with you.

We often feel that we must get others to agree with us in order for our feelings to be important and valid. That is not the case. And in a marriage, and a family, there are SO MANY people and SO MANY feelings to consider, that it's destructive to insist on trying to change other people's minds. You, I'm sure, hate it when your husband, or anyone else, tries to get you to change your mind. Keep in mind that other people hate it when you try to ghet them to change their minds.

You're saying to us, "I've asked and asked, but they're still there. Don't I have a right to be angry?" Now imagine your husband talking to his friends. What if he said, "I've shown her over and over that keeping them is important to me, but she ignores my feelings. Don't I have a right to be angry?" You very much want him to see things your way, but keep in mind, he very much wants you to see things his way. If one of you is wrong to have those feelings, both of you are wrong. Try to remember that this isn't about right or wrong, or who is loved more, or who gets their way. This is about being sensitive to other people's needs. People have a right to their own feelings, even if other people, even their loved ones, disagree. You have a right to your feelings. He has a right to his feelings.

Learn to compromise. Each person gives up something, and each person gets something, in a compromise. Good luck!