She Is Scared?

I also have a 2 year old son who seems to be scared of several things. He is especially scared of a manequin dummy that is at my husband's work (he is a firefighter/paramedic and it is their practice dummy). He will not even go within a 20 foot radius of it. He also is scared of Santa and some other common things, so I thing it is common for some kids to be scared around 2 years of age. I think it is when they are really aware of what things they are comfortable with, and with that comes the things they don't know much about or things that just make them uncomfortable. Another example is being scared of the dark or having the bedroom door closed. It's probably just things out of thier comfort zone.

Patti

Good Morning KS...well my simple advice is to absolutely not feed into her reactions at all. Downplay everything. Sometimes kids are just looking to you to see what kind of reaction they get...testing the waters so to speak. If it's an unwarranted fear, don't feed into it.

So, if you walk by a door and she freaks out, just say "yep that's a door" and keep walking. Don't stop and bend down and say "honey it's just a door...see nothing scary." Then she is getting a payoff (or rewarded) for reacting scared. Just sort of pretend that she's not acting scared at all. I do this even on stuff that I understand scares them...for example if we go to the rainforest cafe and my daughter says "I don't want to sit by the gorillas because they're scary." I just say "no, they're not scary because they're not real." I give her a little hug (for the justifiable scary stuff) and just continue on.

I'm sure you've noticed by now that your child will react when getting hurt at about the same level you react when they get hurt. I learned right away that you never make a large gasping sound or yell "oh my god!" when they fall down, because then they think "wow mommy made that sound, I must be hurt." Even when I can see it was a big fall (bloody knees etc.) I try to just downplay it and say "you're alright, did that silly sidewalk trip you again." Of course we throw a bandaid on it and give kisses, etc. But just try not to over-react.

Well hopefully I don't get criticized for this advice. I'm sure lots of people will say it's important to "validate their fears" etc., but I'm just telling you what works for us. Downplay everything...

Good luck!

L.

P.S. I'm a sahm to 8 and 5 year old girls.

Hi Katherine,

My son was beginning to be afraid of loud noises, lawn-mower, blowers, and weed-wacker etc... We encourage him to face his fears. I've also been teaching him that he doesn't have to be afraid of those things, because we serve a God that created the universe. And everything in it. He is in control, and keeps everything in order, like the planets are not crashing into each other, or the someone hurting him apart from God's sovereign rule and Glory. So, we don't need to fear people, or working tools, or dogs, we fear God. He is beginning to repeat this to me. I ask him, "Elijah what do you fear?" And he'll respond, "I don't fear lawn-mowers, or blowers, I fear GOD!! This is a great opportunity to begin teaching your child the truth. You are the greatest example also. If at times she sees you afraid, let her she what you "do" with your fears by casting them on Jesus. And how you don't make decisions based on fear tactics and strategies, but because you fear God and desire to do His will. May you be blessed!!

I think that just means her imagination is blossoming. It's a natural stage of development and she just needs a little reassuring. My daughter (now 7) loved the movie Shrek when she was 18 months old. About a year later she couldn't watch it because it scared her too much. Someone told me it was the development of her imagination that was the difference. She still has a very active imagination and is complimented on it by her teachers. Eventually your daughter will be able to differentiate between fantasy and reality, but in the mean time you can use it to your advantage. For example, if she were afraid of monsters in her bedroom, she'd just as easily believe that if you spray "monster spray" around the room before she goes to bed, she'd be protected. Have fun with her imagination!

My daughter is almost two and was having "lions attacking" her in her bed a few months ago. She is also very afraid of the spider puppet at the library. The lions follow us everywhere now, but when they catch us they hug us. If you just give her support and let her play it out she will probably realize on her own that there is nothing to be scared of. We talked to her a lot and let her talk about it as much as she wanted to. Sometimes she even pretends to be the lion now!

I have a two and a half year old girl. Once she hit two she went through the same stage. The silliest things would freak her out or startle her. I think it's just a phase kids go through as they explore the world. She also went through a phase for a few weeks of horrible dreams/night terrors which I read is quite normal. Also some of her toys she played with for months would scare her. It was almost like they were 'alive' to her and she didn't like it.
Just hug her up and make her feel secure and I am sure this will pass.

If your child is having a challenge adapting & shows patterns of distress, that could be a message that there's a sensory processing area that could use strengthening.

If your interested to learn more information regarding adaptive challenges, look up Handle.org to find out about what type of natural-gentle enhanced activities could help with your childs neurodevelopment.

Good Luck!

I really liked what Elizabeth said about "monster spray" and using the developing imagination to help her feel better. My eldest daughter started being afraid to go to sleep because of "monsters" about this age. She was VERY articulate, so she went into great detail about it. After trying over and over to convince her there weren't monsters by looking under the bed, shining lights in the closet, etc, one night I noticed a peacock feather in the room someone had given her. We had just read a book about fairies, and I spontaneously picked up the feather, and took her by the hand, and walked her out to the garden. I spoke out loud, calling any fairies that wanted to jump on and help keep the monsters out of her room at night. That became the "monster sweeper" and we would just wave it around the room gently (didn't want to harm the fairies!) each night before I turned out the lights. Once in awhile, we would take the sweeper outside again to give fairies a chance to go back to the garden and pick up some more.

It developed into a very rich imagination play world for my daughter and I, which in turn helped over and over as she came up against other issues in her life.

I don't want to minimize what your daughter is going through. It's a very normal thing to become very sensitive to things, sometimes that don't make any sense at all to us, at about this age.

Acknowledge that she is afraid, offer a hug or snuggle to help her calm down and feel safe, explain things as best you can, but then ALSO find creative ways to work around what she's fearing. It will be a great tool for her later, and it's exactly what this developmental stage can be used to help her learn.

Fiora

At 2 she is still discovering things after and becoming more aware of her surroundings my earliest memory is at 2 yrs old when I first spent the night at a friends house away from my parents and at 5 I still sware my huckelberry hound stuffed animal sprouted fangs also her imagination is starting to develope as well so that may be contributing to her fears. Just reassure her that the door and stuffed animal will not do her any harm and she will realize that she doesn't need to be affraid.

That is so interesting. I have never heard anyone say that until now -- and my older son was the same way. He was terrified of the wind and scared of a particular area in our house ... He was two at the time. He grew out of it. We also moved. He is now five and is still a little scary. He does not like to be by himself downstairs - but even that just depends on his mood. I wish I had a mom to talk to at the time because I could not understand why he was scared of such silly things. Anyway, the bottom line is she will grow out of it, but you can comfort her and tell her there is absolutely nothing to be scared of. Fear is such a terrible thing. You are probably already doing that, but know other moms have gone through the same thing. Good luck.

My son just turned 2 in December and has recently developed a fear of bubbles in the bathtub, and the dark. He refuses to go into his bedroom until we turn the light on and we have to have a nightlight in his room for him to sleep in there. Perfectly normal right now.

My son (now three) has had terrible fears since he was about 18 months old. It's something that all kids go through, but there are different degrees of reactivity in each child...just depends on their blossoming brains and temperaments. The developmental part relates to their awareness of their powerlessness in the world. Once they become aware of that, everything can spook them. If you have a child with a highly reactive and imaginative mind, you will be dealing with a more extreme version of this for a while. My son has had fears about the moon, lions, funny-shaped trees that he thought were monsters....on and on. It is really frustrating to deal with, and scary for parents too...because all you really want to do is make things better for your child. The best thing that worked for us was talking through the issues (over and over and over again...we even had to go to the Portland Zoo to show him that we didn't even have lions in our zoo...much less running around the streets!) Lots of love and reassurance and time. You did not do this to your child...other than pass on some genes that might relate to temperament. As their brains grow and they are able to reason some more, it does dissipate...but it takes a while and can make you want to cry/pull out your hair in the meantime. Hang in there!

HI Katherine,
Play with your child around what she fears. Use stuffed animals, puppets and dolls. Have her play out the scarey ones. Kids fear great powers that they are not in touch. They feel so small, yet they have much power. All this power comes out in what they fear and also in childhood dreams and nightmares at this age. I am a psychotherapist and work a lot with kids. THis could be a fun thing to explore with her.

enjoy the exploration,
D. Menken

Hi,
When my son was 2 he developed a fear of elephants...we had to go on an elephant search every night before bed to assure him that there were no elephants in the house. This went on for weeks. Finally a friend suggested that we make a sign that said "NO ELEPHANTS ALLOWED". We made the sign, drew a picture of an elephant and put a slash through it, and posted it on his bedroom door. And that was the end of the his fear of elephants.
LB

Hi, Katherine,

Hi, Chelle,

I'm a naturopathic doctor that often responds to health-related questions posted here. Classical homeopathy is a wonderful, gentle, and transformative way to address "behavioral issues" without having to go down a medical route. This is true for many behavioral issues, and is great helping kids gently transition through "stages" they all go through.

I use it in my practice, as do many other naturopathic doctors in town. Classical homeopathy is most successfully used by trained specialists, but you can take the initiative and find effective remedies for your child as well. There are several great, common remedies for shy and fearful children. Find the one that seems the most like your daughter and give it a try.

In wellness,
Dr. E. Mendenhall, ND

Have you had her eyesight checked maybe she can't really see what the door or stuffed animals are and that is what is startling her

My 4 year old at 2 was terrified of anything that moved by itself. Especially remote control cars. You wanna see a child fly bring one in the house and run it. My husband bought our daughter, who was 6 @ the time a new remote control car, and he was playing with it and when he started running it he completly flipped out. He flew across the living room to my arms with the look of complete terror on his face. My son was also afraid of the Glo Worm... I dont know why, but you could not put that anywhere near him. He now is afraid of loud noises. My husband uses an air compressor at work and has one in the garage, and when hes out in the garage and that thing goes on if my son is in the garage he will flip out. I think its just stages they go through. Good luck

I too, have a 2 year old. Kids just like to let you know what's going on with them. My son has recently become "scared" of parts in movies associated with the character's fear. Most specifically, the Pixar Cars short "Mater and the Ghost light" He acts out the fear of Mater as he runs from the ghost light. I think your kiddo sounds totally normal. Who knows what thoughts are going through their minds, and how they are learning to process new emotions? What we do is acknowledge whatever he's feeling, and if he's screaming or whining, we just ask him to calm down and try again, because we can't understand him when he doesn't use words...
Anyway, this is just the time when her feelings are going to be intense, and since they DO pick up on your emotions...try to not let her know when you're frustrated.(Easier said than done, sometimes and I speak from experience of reacting without thinking first)
Have fun!
A.