Sharing Cousins

That happenes a lot with my kids and thier cousins too. What we usually do is find an activity that they all have to do together to make the game work. Scavenger hunts, board games, video games, whatever it is, and say they have to work together as a team to make sure that everyone gets the prize when the activity is over. We had to give them prizes for a while but now they are used to playing nicely together that they prizes don't matter anymore.

K. Haynes
The MOM Team
Moms Helping Others Work From Home
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www.mykidsaremyeverything.com

I agree that group activities are great. I love the scavanger hunt idea. I also think that it is important to let the girls have their girl time, so maybe a schedule and see what the 5yr old wants to do. Maybe the girls couple have girl-time while the boy helps with dinner or something.
I have several cousins. I am close with all of them but I am closer to some then others. I think that is ok too.

I have a nephew who lives in another state, unfortunately leaving little time to visit when he's in town. I have a 10 year older daughter and a 7 year old son who must share that cousins time (he is 8). We begin with everybody having time, then we divide up the time by allowing the my oldest to go do something with one of us, while the youngest gets to spend time with his cousin, then you guessed it, we switch them out. Even if its just an hour, they get their one on one quality time and the remainder of the visit is shared, with very little issue's. When we go places all together we use the term: pb&j sandwiches, each one of my kids are the bread and my nephew is the pb&j in the middle. Grandma actually came up with that saying.

Good Morning, N., That 10yr old is old enough to talk to and reason with. It'll probably be better coming from you than Mom or Dad. You KNOW that grandma's know everything! Just sit and have a visit with her and find out why she is acting like this. At 10 little brothers tend to be a royal p.. i. a..., esp. 4 yr olds. You may learn more than you want to know, but maybe you can reason with her. Good Luck....S.

I'm a grandma, too--5 of them!

I have three children, my girl is 12, my son is 9 and my other son is 5, every other weekend my step daughter comes over to our home. The 9 yr old and my step daughter try to leave my 5 yr old out of things. I tell them that they need to play together and not to leave him out. That upsets me and I dont want anyone to be left out. It happens and that is what I try to tell them. They need to play together. Sometimes my 12 yr old will take the 5 yr old outside by himself and go fishing or something else fun so he wont be left out.

If they cannot play nicely together, than they cannot play together at all. Separate sides of the room until they can get along. Also, decrease exposure to outside play friends across the board until the siblings play together like best friends regardless of the age difference.

We have had that same issue. We made it a rule that the door had to stay open (for safety of fingers in struggles) and that everyone was welcome. Try reminding the older one how it feels to be left out. If worse comes to worse and the 10 year old does not listen to reason (which I think most at that age especially, will) a little taste of her own medicine (set the younger two up with something fun and let her know she can only join if she continues to include everyone. Another idea I just had...set up some fun craft project and let the 10 year old be the helper while makeing her own things too.(Direct, and redirect!)