We have just moved into a new house, and we decided to have our two boys share a bedroom so that they could have a playroom. Our older son (almost 5) is doing pretty well after a few rough nights. My younger son (17 mo.) has had to sleep with me and my husband for the past 8-9 months because of our living situation, so he is having a harder time with the transition. I am not really concerned about it, as I know it will improve as we go. Right now, he is waking up around 12, between 2 and 3, and then once more anytime between 4 and when we get up. My issue is really about how to sleep train him when my other son is in the same room. I can't let him cry it out and disturb his brother's sleep, even if that were something I were comfortable with. I am mostly afraid that there will be tears when my husband tries to soothe him, and I don't like the idea of removing either of them from the bedroom at this stage in our transition. Any ideas for how to make it easier on my older son? Please don't tell me they need separate bedrooms, they really seem to feel better having the other in the room.
I would really put the baby in his own room for a year or so. That's not what you want to hear, but there it is. The play room can wait, but sleep training and stressing out an entire family and your older son waking from a crying baby at night cannot.
Unless your oldest sleeps well and won't be disturbed by the crying, then don't move the baby in there just yet.
Are you sure it will disturb your older son? A lot of times kids sleep right thru things. He might toss and turn for a bit, but will get used to his brothers noise and it wont phaze him much at all.
What about temporarily putting a little make shift bed in your bedroom for the almost 5 yr. old and explain to him that it just for a few nights until baby brother sleeps better.
It sounds like you are wanting to give the CIO (cry it out) method a go? And don't want to disturb your other sons sleep? He's old enough to reason with and this way won't suffer with a crying baby. Then both you and hubby can take turns comforting in the new room and transition your older son back into the shared room when your baby's schedule has improved.
I also agree with the other post, that if you are already responding to your baby pretty quickly during the multiple awakenings, I doubt your older son is bothered by the baby's crying. I think children sleep better with normal family noises and happenings actively going on around them than in ultra quiet homes.
When my kids were young we lived with my mom and we had a similar situation. I didn't believe that kids should sleep with parents and I stuck hard and fast to that rule, but my mom had my youngest who was just transitioning from his crib lay down with her for a few weeks. Eventually, she stopped having him sleep in her bed and would lay with him in their room until he fell asleep but it was still too much in my opinion. Finally, she weaned him off little by little by sitting with him for a bit and then leaving them alone. My oldest slept like a log so nothing was ever a disturbance.
Leave them together. My boys are 6 and 3 and they share a room even though my oldest has his own bedroom. When we moved our youngest to a big bed, he wouldn't stay in his room. We would find him on our floor or on the floor in my son's room. So, we bought bunk beds and now they both sleep in my little one's room and they both feel so secure having the other one there. Just give your little one more time to transition. Is your baby still in a crib? Could you put the crib right next to your older son's bed so they would be next to each other at night? Do you think that would give him the security he needs to be without you? Could you sleep on a blow up mattress for a while until he feels more comfortable? Maybe put it by the door so your not right there by him and move it a little farther away each night until your out of the room. Hope you figure out what works. Good luck!
Hi J. :-)
It seems you have multiple transitions going on at once which may be too much for your 17 month old to adapt to. You mention that he has been sleeping with you and your husband for the past 8-9 months. So I might suggest that in order to help this young one with the transition to a NEW home which is a huge move when little ones need to know that things are safe and feel familiar... that you continue to allow him to sleep with you and your husband as you have been doing.
After a while, you can begin the transition to the older brother's room which is the one they will share. Maybe one night a week put him in there, and then slowly increase the days of separation from your bed into his own bed in his brother's room. You may also put him in the new bed in brother's room and lay down with him until he falls asleep and then kiss him good night and leave.
ALL of this with the suggestion additionally that you TALK with your 17 month old and explain about the new house and how soon he is going to be having his own bed and sleeping with his big brother! Let him adapt to the changes and keep it light and simple but fun!
hugs,
A. R.N., Energy Medicine Practitioner
We cosleep till our babies are 6 months old, then they go into their own room. So our boys (5 and 3) shared a room since our youngest was 6 months old. Every time the baby cried I just went in and fed him so our oldest never really woke up because of crying.....so this is a tough one. Have you thought about getting your youngest into his own bed in your room for now, it seams like he wakes up too many times to move him out just yet.
