Sex Talk

"Other than sex"... sex is a huge issue for couples. If you're not on the same page about it, then you really need to have a heart-to-heart. Be compassionate, but clear about what you are wanting.

As someone else mentioned... show, don't tell. Keep trying little changes (no handcuffs on the first try), but little things that will improve his comfort level.

Pay attention to what he finds attractive. My husband could care less about nighties, but loves everything about me as soon as I get out of the shower. If I leave the door cracked (I shower at night), he knows he's welcome to come in and "help" me towel-off!

If you know it is the BC that is lowering your sex drive, get off of it and try something else, like a diaphragm or condoms. Something else I found that helped was just saying yes. At first it was just about making him happy and more content, but what I found was that, not only did i start enjoying it more and wanting it more, but my husband also started helping me out more around the house and with the kids without me needing to ask! He felt so loved and content he wanted to be sure I was feeling the same!

Unsatisfying sex is only going to improve if the two of you tell each other what you want and need.

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You both need to be open with each other and communicate on your needs. Those potions are stupid, don't waste your time or money. Maybe a little vibrator or something would be fun, one he can wear too, it actually reduces his sensation in a way so he can last longer, something like this, (don't worry, picture isn't gross):
http://ww2.pureromance.com/PUBLICSTORE/product/Double-Tro...

Anyways, foreplay is an absolute necessity. Kindly show him what you need, be willing to serve him first, then say, "it's my turn". Have a few nights a week of foreplay only before advancing to sex. It will actually help him last longer, and make you two more comfortable with each other.

Also, during sex, to help him last longer, have him slow down, stop, do foreplay on you, once you are closer, then you can try to have sex again and come together.

Also, forget about your past sexual experiences. There is a very good chance your husband is still very nervous about being compared and not pleasing you like the last guy. When you can let go of that and look to your future instead and show him you are confident in your sex life's ability to be enhanced, things may improve.

1. Employ the Golden Rule.... Do unto him a couple times as you would have him do you, aand he should catch on.

2. Ditch the products purchased at your parties and break out the Internet. Most guys don't want to feel like thier sexual response will be a topic of conversation at the next Tupperwear party. He also may not be sure your purchase was inspired by anything other than peer pressure. Look at some shopping websites and show him some of the things you are interested in. Let that spark a conversation.

3. Have more sex. He'll last longer if he gets it more than once a month and you'll both have the opportunity to get more creative.

4. Check out the book Tickle His Pickle. It's very helpful.

How do you get more interested in sex....?
Well for me, the more I have it, the more I want it.
How do you make sex better with him....?
How would it be better? Would do you like? In short...you need to guide him and tell him.
How do you get him comfortable with different things?
Try doing some of them, and see what his reactions are. Communicate with him what you want to try/do.
Basically your sister is right. All you have to do is communicate with him in a way that doesn't make him feel bad...example....if you want to try a vibrator don't say "you alone can't make my toes curl, so we're going to try this." Instead, cuddle up with him in bed and say something like "hey babe my friend was talking about this new vibrator that her and her husband uses and she said it makes their sex life fan-flippin-tastic.....so I thought maybe we should try it?"
Sometimes it's not about WHAT you say...but HOW you say it. Good Luck!
Edited: You can always try using a lot of lubricant....lubricant causes less friction between your two bodies, and may make him last longer. Also....you can stop in the middle and do other things. =) Hope this helps.

can i get some coffee over here please ??? you cant make a guy comfortable with anything, especially if you have more experience between the sheets then he does. nine times out of ten, he will take it as a comparision between him and someone you used to sthoop( you know what i mean)dont ever talk to a guy that you sleep with about a guy you used to sleep with, BAD IDEAL. if you try something "new" with this guy, and he asked where you learned that parlor trick LIE, tell him you read about it in COSMO. introduce new and different things with him slowly, and let him take the lead sometimes, you might be pleasantly surprised.as for having more interest in sex, dont pressure yourself, sex is not just about
THAT, it can also be about eating ice cream in bed and not giving a damn about the sheets
K. h.

Updated

can i get some coffee over here please ??? you cant make a guy comfortable with anything, especially if you have more experience between the sheets then he does. nine times out of ten, he will take it as a comparision between him and someone you used to sthoop( you know what i mean)dont ever talk to a guy that you sleep with about a guy you used to sleep with, BAD IDEAL. if you try something "new" with this guy, and he asked where you learned that parlor trick LIE, tell him you read about it in COSMO. introduce new and different things with him slowly, and let him take the lead sometimes, you might be pleasantly surprised.as for having more interest in sex, dont pressure yourself, sex is not just about
THAT, it can also be about eating ice cream in bed and not giving a damn about the sheets
K. h.