Sex Education for a 7 Year Old

I'd just talk to her. Ask her what she knows and if she has questions. Her questions could be simple enough for you to just talk with her. It's good to begin talking about it with her now...but only what she needs. So just ask!

I had to have the girl talk with my son when he was 5! I told him what he needed to know to ease his mind. As time has gone by(he's now 10) he asks a little more. Although the situation scared him, I'm glad we opened the door to those conversations at an early age...it's helped him to feel open to ask the tougher questions!

My suggestion is to let her know that there is a lot of things on T.V. that are very inappropriate and bad. Tell her that a lot of it is made up by some not so good people. Block as much as you can with ratings. especially PG13 until she is old enough to understand more. Tell her that a lot of young s get wrong messages by some of it.

Most importantly, the very best thing you could ever do is make it a habbit to sit with her at bedtime everynight for 15 minutes and talk about her day. Don't stop when she gets older either.

1) Ask her what her most favorite thing to do today was and then Ask her if there was anything that bothered her that she might have saw or watched.

I have 4 children and this time is the best thing you could ever do with your child. It takes away from your quiite time, but you will get a big payback in the years to come.

Disney family.com recently had an article "tackling the talk".I have saved this article because I too have a 7 year old. allthough my little girl is not quite there yet, I have my concerns about the sex ed talk. I've heard 7 is the age to start this education. good luck. I'd like to know how it goes.

My son had a 'girlfriend' at 5 - in pre-school. Obviously they are starting younger - so we need to education them younger than ever.

With my son, I answer things as they come up. He asked "Why are your boobies different than Daddies" and I told him that Mommies feed babies with them. He walked in on my changing, and asked why I was different 'down there' and I said boys and girls are just built different.

As for kissing, we've have a thing here that we don't kiss on the lips unless your 'in love'. So I had to explain loving someone -vs- in love with someone. Sorry grandma - on the cheek only!

Starting early with basics opens the lines of communication down the road... I read somewhere once "Parenthood isn't something you can multi-task with" and it's true. Sit down, and listen to your child talk about his/her day and they will get into the habit of talking to you - and knowing that you're listening - not half listening while doing the dishes.

I agree with the other post about how DVDs and Books are other peoples points of view and I don't use them for that reason.

Good luck

First ask her :"what do YOU think" -- to find out what she's got on her mind now. And keep the discussion to that level...too much sex can be terrifying and lead her to ask someone her own age -- thus opening all kinds of wrong doors. (That was my own experience long long ago!) I'm a Grandma now 73 yrs old -- glad I was a Young Mother 44 years ago! Today's world is too lickety split and overly -informative, I think. God speed to y'all -

Oh, boy.... Poor you. First I would try and monitor the television. Secondarily, I would confine any formal "discussions" to whenever my daugher asked a question.... In other words, keep things light and brief and accurate. The Berenstain Bears has a book about new babies. Your librarian will be able to suggest others. Librarians are great resources for just this type of thing (as long as you read the book before giving it to your child and agree with the age-appropriateness). If you read the book together, there will be a great opportunity for your child to ask questions afterwards.

I would ONLY talk to her when things come up...like the kissing. Make her comment into a discussion on what your "take" on the subject is. The problem I see in DVD's and books is that it is someone else's ideas and thoughts, usually not straight facts. If you do find something with straight facts, it will probably be way too much for her to digest at 7yrs old.
Communication along the way is easily digested when given in small doses!

Hi K.
I think 7 years old is a bit early for sex education and believe that a simple answer will curb her appetite. I will suggest "The Joyful Mysteries of Life by Catherine Scherrer and Bernard Scherrer" if you think she really is ready for the birds and the bees talk. It puts all things into prespective in a pure and innocent way. I have had an awesome experience with my two girls with this book. I believe the book also shows us a side of sex education that society doesn't offer.
Hope this helps.
Prayfully,
T.

Hi K. - This one is long, but I am in the process of writing a book about the common sense of child rearing, so it's near and dear to my heart:

Naturally, of course, my first bit of advice would be to monitor what your child watches on TV... So much of it is inappropriate for children, yet so many still watch it! TIme to sit up and pay attention.

But of course, they grow up, go to school, talk with other kids, etc... and we can't avoid the subject.

I would very much discourage teaching a child her sex education from the television (i.e. DVD's). If you think about it, how is she ever going to learn to discern the truth if her education comes from the TV?? Does that mean that everything she watches on TV is fact? It will if you use it to educate her.

Plus, it makes it such a big production and very unnatural...

The truths is life should come from you. And she should always trust and be free to bring any and every question to you - not her friends or the media.

If you are uncomfortable with that, and you want to use a book, just leave it in her room for her to look at when she wants to. Though I doubt there's much a 7-year old can read herself.

And again, if you sit and read it to her 1) it's a big production that she may not be ready for or in the mood for at that moment, and 2) it's a lot of info at one sitting...

All that said, the Boston Museum of Science has a wonderful human bodies exhibit in which they have a reproduction exhibit - when she is ready, that's a great trip. However, we were there this week and my 10-year old daughter had no interest in it.

With my daughter, the conversation about our bodies and questions about them have had just as easy flow as talking about what we did today. The more natural you can make the conversation, the less impact it will have as something hidden, (i.e. to be kept in the dark - in more ways than one), wrong, dirty, silly, mysterious or whatever.

I hope you have already named our body parts by their correct name, again, just as casually as you would name eyes, knees, elbows, etc. Breats are breasts, not some silly name. Teach her to respect her body. (And when it's time to explore, "private parts, private places" is simple and easy.)

Also, when your child asks you a question, be sure you are very clear on the question before you answer it (you know the joke about the girls who asks her mom where she came from and the mom goes into this whole, long birds and bees explanation and the child just looks at her funny and says - oh. Bobby down the street is from Chicago...)

My daughter asked me three times about mensutration before I asked her if she really wanted to know (more than once, she had asked me what that string was when I got out of the shower...) The third time, I looked her in the eye and asked her if she really wanted to know. She said yes.

So I sat down on the floor of the bathroom and told her - in very simple terms, how our bodies work. It was matter of fact and scientific. She listened, asked a few questions, and that was it. When she was done asking, I was done talking.

So take your cues from your child. Answer just the question asked.

Funny thing was, I felt it was such a profound conversation - and then she promotly forgot it all! Because it wasn't a big deal, and her curiosity was satisfied.

Our children learn who to be in the world from us. So you must show by your example who you want your child to be.

My advice is to clarify and answer questions when they come up, and when topics of concern come up - you do the asking! First of all, where did she see it? (We would like to think it is TV, but what if it isn't? Yikes! Then you might ask one or two of these - who was kissing? How did that make you feel? Do you know why they were kissing? What does kissing mean mean?)

Have fun with it - kids say the darndest things!

I went to the bookstore and found that there were really only two books one too young and one too old. I went with the too old one and I edited the text (during reading) to only say what I was willing to share.

Well, I talk sex for a living. I have 3 children of my own. Ages 14,12,and 2. I found that the best way is to be honest when answering there question. Just tone it down to fit there age. They seem to appreciate your honesty, aren't mislead by things they hear at school, and feel free to ask questions (even at the times you'd rather they didn't-haha).

Check out the best I've found in parenting advice in ten years... www.loveandlogic.com I bet they have some guidance for you.

K.:
i have yet to approach the topic since my oldest boy is 5 but my sister in law began the convesrsation with her daughter by talking about different features people have and the reason being that each person gets genes from both their mom and their dad. She said this was a GREAT segue into discussing sex. Hope this helps!

Hi, K.,

I know that American Girl publishes some books, but I am not sure as to what age they are geared. You might want to check them out.

Hope this helps!!

S.

Hi K.,

I am a stay at home mom to 5 kids, ages 2-11. I recommend looking into the books by Robie Harris. There are 3, and they are geared towards different age groups. I think the picturebook is called "It's not the Stork", but I don't actually have that one. the next two are "it's so amazing" and "it's perfectly normal". They are great starting off places, and good books to have around the house so that your 7 year old can look at them when she feels like it, and you can also read them to her and discuss. they are narrated by a bird and a bee, who each have different feelings about talking about the issues. My son (now 11) was our first to use these books, and he was very clear with us what he was ready to discuss and what he wasn't, and when he was ready to move on to the next chapter he would let us know, or he would do some private reading before exploring it with us.

My best advice is to be honest and matter of fact. ask questions but not to pry. sexuality is very private, so it can be a touchy subject. My feeling is that if you just let your kids have access to good information, and make yourself available and open to conversation, they will respond by developing at their own pace...

another thing I have done as I talk to my children is let them know some other folks that might be good people to talk to about these issues if it makes them uncomfortable to talk to me... and of course, I tell those people I have nominated them for this job, in case the topic comes up.

hope that helps.
I could say more, but I will leave it at that for now!

good luck,
D.

Your pediatrician should have age appropriate books you can ask for. Read it yourself first in case it contains too much information. another great free resouce is your local library

I can't recall the name of the book, but it was by the writer of the "Arthur" cartoon series. I previewd it first and probably did a little editing as I saw fit, but it was great for younger children.