S.H.
How old are his siblings?
Younger?
If so, what I have always done with my Eldest it, explain to her about child development, in a way she can understand.
I simply tell her, her younger brother cannot do things like her per his age, or his understanding. He is younger.
I also teach her, HOW to express her "boundaries" and what to say... so that instead of getting pissed off with what younger brother is doing, she can SAY it. AND come to me for help.
I also tell her, just go away, if younger brother is irking you or making trouble.
AND if she just wants to be alone or by herself, to TELL him. AND to tell me. Its okay.
Sometimes, siblings dont' have to play together all the time.
Kids, need breathing space too, and time to themselves. For example.
HE needs to be taught, HOW to express his own "boundaries" too. To his siblings and to you or whomever.
Kids, don't automatically know these 'skills.' So it has to be taught to them.
Also, if he's getting irked and mouthy at them... then have them separate.
Teach him that family is family. That we watch each other's back and family is a 'TEAM.' We care about each other.
When my son was 2, I even explained to my Eldest, what the "Terrible Two's" were. So she could understand, what 'stage' her little brother was in. And then she was more understanding toward him.
If your Son's siblings are older than him... then are they irking him on purposes? Eldest siblings do that, too. So, you have to speak to them and EXPLAIN that per his age/development... he can't handle things like them. AND teach your son, HOW to stand up to them and/or tell you when they are making trouble to him.
For his mouthiness... it is because he is frustrated and stressed and annoyed. SO... you trouble-shoot that. TEACHING him, how to cope. Coping-skills are not something a child automatically knows. So teach him. Teach him alternate ways of expressing himself/frustrations/anger/stress. ie: he can tell you, you can help him problem-solve it and come up with another way of doing something, you can with him tell his siblings STOP because it is hurting his feelings etc. TEACH him how to problem-solve.
Just punishing/scolding a child, without teaching them coping-skills or problem-solving, will not give them any skills, to manage.
It just teaches them that they get censored.
But what if he really IS valid in his frustrations? Then what? Punishment/scolding does not address that. Nor teach him HOW to manage his frustrations.
My 4 year old son, ever since he was three... could tell me IF he was 'frustrated' or just 'irritated.' Then, 'we' would work on it. Sometimes he just wanted to be left alone. Sometimes he wanted help to do something, or he just wanted his Sister to stop interfering in his playing. He wanted to play, by himself. Without her telling him what to do. For example.
So, observe your son and what is frustrating him. Then troubleshoot it and help him know how.
To me, he has to be taught.... "how" to manage his feelings and frustrations.
It is not 'bad' when a child or person is frustrated.... and they SHOULD be able to express that to you.
BUT, it is about 'how' they manage, and are taught to manage that.
A boy, especially, NEEDS to learn how to express themselves. If not they get all pent up.
Then turn into a pent up Man or somebody's Husband.
Teach your Son, HOW to say his feelings. In time, a child will get more articulate about that and more self-aware.
I began teaching that to my kids since 2 years old. They now know their feelings very well and know themselves very well.
all the best,
Susan
