Seriously? No Nap

When my oldest son started phasing out of naps, I was pregnant with my second son and really needed naps. I told him that he didn't have to take a nap, but that he had to have quiet time in his room. He had to stay on his bed for the entire time. I placed a bin of books on his bed and a few quiet toys. The first day I only made him have quiet time for 10 minutes so he could be successful at staying in bed. (When he got out of bed, I just picked him up and put him back in bed and told him he needed to read or play quietly.) Each day I increased the amount of time of his quiet time by 5 minutes. After a week or so, he actually would stop reading and fall asleep on the days that he was tired.

My 2 year old dropped her nap at around age 2. It happens! Hope someone can give you a hint. I think at school it works because all the other kids are doing it as well.

As a former Lead Teacher at a day care, I found it easier to get them to take a nap after having a good playtime where it's enough running around and jumping that will make them tired enough to want to take a nap after they come inside and eat a snack. Put some soft music on and cover him with a small blanket. Also, watch his sugar intake. You said he just started his little acting, so look back and see if his diet has changed. Another thing, please don't play his game, he will think that's what it is, a game. Be firm, but still loving and caring. Good luck!

My daughter would not nap either at 2 and before! You've been given some great ideals, but after trying them and they still don't work, I'll share my story.

My daughter was somewhat out of control also: wouldn't sit still for me to read a book, always making noises w/mouth, a perpetual motion machine. The doctor ran some tests and found she had a chemical imbalance. She was given medication that she will have to stay on for the rest of her life.
I could not believe the difference.

The Dr. also gave us a list of specific foods. To detox her from any foods that was making her "crazy", for 3 days she had to eat peanut butter w/whole wheat bread, scrambled egg. wh. toast, and baked chicken. Milk, water, 1/2 water, 1/2 7-up. The Dr. told us to add 1/2 tsp. liquid calcium to her 7-up am and pm. (it acted as a calming agent) Her mind was going in 10 different directions because she was so hyped up on the wrong kind of foods.

The 2nd day!!!, she took a 2 1/2 hour nap!!! We kept looking in on her because we were concerned. We had no ideal we were giving her food that was like caffeine.

The foods the Dr. deleted from her diet:

applesauce (give apple, instead)
ham, bologna (no processed meats)
canned veg. (use fresh. Canned veg. have a dye that causes hypertension...even the red dye in Tylenol.
sweets
nothing w/white flour - pancakes, biscuits, gravy
crackers
no juices
no fried foods (baked, boiled, broiled, instead)

Although my daughter's hyperactivity wasn't diagnosed as ADHD, that is also a possibility w/your son. Hope this helps if all else fails. Good luck, you have my empathy.

P. S

Mommy needs nap time but baby doesn't (for now). I agree with another post, let him have play time in his room. You blocking the door and forcing him hasn't worked and won't - it just eggs him on. This most likely is a temporary phase. Have white noise going in his room during 'playing alone time'. A lot of toddlers go thru this, it's just part of the growing up phase.

My daughter began the no nap escape routine about that age too, and I began giving her treats when I checked on her if she was in bed. I know, it isn't ideal- but it really worked well. I just brought 2 little treats from the fruit snacks package and if she was in bed either lying down or looking at her books she could have them. At first I checked often and then stretched it out. Now she never gets out of bed at nap and I don't have to use any negative punishments. We don't do this at night because we brush her teeth right before bed, but the skill seems to have transferred anyhow because she is no longer giving us a problem (she will still lay there talking for long periods of time on some nights, but she is in bed and falls asleep eventually). I would have used stickers or something else if it would have worked- the treats were far more valuable in her mind.

We do a nap "routine" that involves reading 3 books and either singing 3 songs or making up 3 stories first to wind down. Then I place her books right next to her bed so if she wants to look at them she can without leaving bed. Occasionally she will skip nap- but most of the time she still pulls a 2 hour nap now that she stays still long enough to fall asleep. Either way I can at least get some things accomplished while she is in her room.

I never had a child that did this but in daycare they turn out all the lights so it is very calming to them, and they each have a mat, many times their on blanky or animal. I would try the darkest room in the house with a special matt and blanky. Just try a routine that is special and calming like reading and/or relaxing music in the background. No need for nap to be in the bed as long as they get one!

Both of my kids stopped naps around 2.5 yrs. But they started going to bed earlier. The first 6 months of no nap is heck bc they were tired, so I started doing the fun, crazy stuff during the morning then veg out in the afternoon. Once they adjust to no nap and going to bed later, it'll get better.

Short of buying a lock for the door to contain him...the only thing that you can do is be consistent. Yep, that's all there is to it. When he gets up, put him back to bed without saying a word. He gets up, you put him back. It will be a VERY LONG process but he is testing you & wanting you to give up. DON'T give up!

I have six kids & each one has done this at some point. Some it only took a couple of days for them to realize they weren't winning that battle, but I had one boy who is 5yrs now that fought me on it for 6 months! But now he is the BEST napper! All I say is its naptime & he is in bed & asleep in mnutes....so those 6mos of serious persistence has paid off.

One other side note, make sure he has had some kind of physical activity during the day. That is the best way for them to want a nap. They are able to expel some energy before nap & gets most of their wiggles out.

Luvs!

For my daughter it was a control issue. She could control if she slept or not. So, rather than tell her that she's going to nap, I told her that we were going to have quiet time. I set a timer for a minimum of 30 minutes (after showing her how it works and that the timer will keep me honest) and developed a reward system based on staying in the room quietly, staying in the bed, and falling asleep. At 28 minutes, I'd go in and check on her and she was usually asleep. Then I'd get the timer out of the room so it wouldn't wake her up. If she wasn't asleep, I'd reward for her for what she managed to do (lay in bed, stay in the room quietly, etc.) and then we'd go on our merry way.

Our daycare also recommended that we put on soft music, turn down the lights and make the room darker than usual.

I mourned the loss of naptime. But at least this way I got an extra 30 minutes.

My son was through with naps by that age. You can't force them to nap--it isn't worth the battle! If nap time is necessary to your sanity, you could try "quiet time". This would be a calm video like "Baby Einstein" or books on the floor in his room, etc. You could put a timer on for 45 min, etc and help him learn that that is quiet time and he needs to play by himself until the timer goes off. Good luck!

He may not need a nap. Is he overtired and cranky. If so, then hear are some ideas that I've used to get my almost 3 year old boy to go to bed. He went through a similiar phase and I let him take a favorite toy or car to his room to play with IN bed. I let him know that the toy would be taked away if he fooled around or got out of bed. I also told him that he had to be quiet and still. I sat in the hall. If he got out of bed, I followed through, he lost his toy. I also just put him back in bed. Sometimes I told him about what we would do after he takes his nap, but if he didn't we couldn't do that fun activity. During this phase there were also times that I sat next to his bed and held his hand and or rubbed his back until he settlesd and he fell asleep. The trick is whatever you do be consistent. If you say you must do this or this is the consequence make sure to follow through. Another idea is maybe he only needs a nap everyother day. My 5 year old takes naps everyother day. You can't make he sleep, but you can require him to stay in bed and lie down.

I turned "nap time" into "playing alone time". When each of my kids decided that nap time was no longer an option, I still liked nap time so I told them they did not have to nap, but they had to play in their rooms. About half the time they fell asleep, but at least I had some time to myself. I put a timer on that they could hear so they knew that it would end, but they both began to like their play time alone. The idea of sleeping in the middle of the day makes kids crazy, but the idea of still playing just alone, seems more tolerable.

Sounds like he is definitely the one in charge here. I don't think that's what you want. You are the parent and you do know what is best for him and the rest of the family. I don't think you want him running around like crazy and "beating you on the head like bongos."

You must decide what you want him to do, let him know in no uncertain terms what you expect from him, then let him experience whatever consequences you set out for him -- every time he jumps up out of bed, kicks, screams, whatever. You must be consistent -- it won't be quick or easy -- you will have to put him back in bed a zillion times.

You can give him some control by letting him pick which one quiet toy or book he has with him each day. Then put him down -- over and over and over. The hard part is doing it consistently (I had a very hard time with doing this without losing my temper with my older daughter!).

I was given a booklet called "Under Loving Command" by Al & Pat Fabrizio (available online -- just google it) that was very good at reminding me of my responsibility to train/discipline her to obey me so that eventually she could become a responsible adult.

Hi C.,

At 2 1/2 he might be phasing out naps. It sounds like he thinks preparing for nap is a game or a power struggle by the "runs around bed and laughing hysterically".

Being a stay at home Mom is the most wonderful and overwhelming job. Society says we need to be at home and working Mom's think we have it easy. My sister has done the stay at home Mom and the Corporate Mom with daycare thing. She struggles because she loves both and wants both to be perfect. There is no such thing as perfection. Just let the perfection idea and "everyone else knows how to do this" idea leave your head. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

Lets give you some ideas....Parenting is lifelong research of figuring out what works best for YOUR family. If your little guy is a talker/communicator...tell him it is time to rest. He goes to his room and sleeps or stays quietly to play. Don't engage in the game. If it is a control contest you are going to have to be fair but firm. This one will take the longest. Do not let him think it is okay to hit or pull hair. You are the parent. Kids are smart, they know we love them, they know how to make us think we are too hard on them. The reality is it is our job to TEACH the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. I love the Super Nanny as a teaching aide for us parents.

I hope you find the answer you are looking for. Just know you are not alone.

Yes, the glory of nap-time is over. My oldest gave it up at 18 months, my youngest at around 2. I hate to tell you that, but its the truth.

My first daughter quit day napping at age 2yrs-1mo. My second daughter would sleep standing up if I let her. She's grown, but still loves to sleep 'til noon on Sats. My third napped until she was about 4. One of your respondents related the effect of certain foods. I truly believe this is something that DOES affect children, and some children more than others.

a baby proof room and a babygate. My son would play until he passed out on the floor. Eventually he did stop sleeping but we still had quiet time for 2 hours every afternoon. He is 10 now and though we homeschool, Mom has "naptime" every day. His younger sisters followed his lead.

My daughter is almost 2 1/2, and we just went through the same thing. I tried the holding the door closed, and that only made it worse too. With my daughter, I would sing to her or read to her for a while. I would lay in bed with her until she fell asleep for a couple of days. Then I would sit on the floor in her room until she fell asleep for a few days. Then I would leave the door ajar for a few days so that she could see that I wasn't doing anything she would miss out on. Now, we are back to normal naps. Does he have his 2 year molars? We've gone through this nap thing twice. One time she was teething, and I didn't realize it until she was back to napping again. Good luck!!!!!

2 year olds need nap time, I have worked with children for 26 years and children up to age 5 need a nap. In preschool required through age 5 by the state. The most imoprtant things is routine. Develope a rountine for your day as well as for nap time. Need to be the same way same time everyday. Quite music, special blanket maybe pat his back until he falls a sleep. remember you are the parent do not let him control the sistuation. He needs a nap, he needs to eat you wouldn't let him miss a meal just because he doesnt want to eat. Be consistant and It will work out fine. All kids need a schedule and routine and limits.
Good Luck. HE NEEDS A NAP!

All these Mom's that have kids that stopped taking naps at 2 seems wild to me! My 4 yr plus several months is still taking naps. She is just now starting to phase out of them if she gets atleast 12 hours of sleep at night. If you can't force him to take a nap, at least get him in bed very early. I'd say no later than 7pm. Make sure he gets at least 12 hours of sleep at night. At the age of 2 they still need 12 to 14 hours of sleep a day! That is a lot of sleep, but they need it to be on their best behavior, to have a strong immune system and to grow properly. Good luck with the process!

I have a home day care and the kids will sleep almost 3 hours. They are up early and get a BIG BREAKFAST and watch tv while that is getting ready. They interact and they hard and they may run outside in the fresh air have a craft or color and story whatever. Mostly play and we go through a work book who is tall or short or colors and numbers but by the time it is 1pm they are out like a light all of them. Some times I have to wake them up and I am bushed after all that activity too. They get a cooked dinner at lunch time so their little tummies are full and we brush our teeth and get out our mats and they are out. Maybe your little one needs more kids to play with time at a park to get that energy out. But he still needs to take a nap. They just are so much happier. They will have little naps in Pre K so hopefully he will adjust to that. Even my older kids when I had them take a nap. If they do not they have to have quiet time but most would sleep.I agree with Stephanie that kids like routine. I think they like it better then anything. They can count on lunch at the same time and that we wash hands after potty and before lunch and after coming in from playing outside. Brushing teeth is a big deal for them here. So maybe he is feeling uneasy about when things will happen. We have huge training in transisions from one activity to anyother. Some children do not do well. They need to be warned this is going to happen in 5 min or 10. Take Care. G. W

I don't think he is old enough to give up naps. IMO, if he is screaming, pulling hair and hitting you, there's more going on here than avoiding naptime. It's a power play and he is winning. We've ALL gone through the whole power struggle thing. Two and three year olds want control and we have to let them have some without letting them run the show. (I'm not an expert, I read this. Ha!) So whenever possible I give my kids 2 choices. Like for naptime, I will tell my twins, it is rest time and you have to stay in your bed but you can choose if you want to go to sleep or just lay here and rest. When they start to argue, I will change the subject and ask them if they want their pink night nights or their hello kitty blankets. Giving them choices narrows it down for them, speeds things up for me, and cuts down on the tantrums. :)

Also, have set routines. If you fly by the seat of your pants and everyday is different, he won't do well. Toddlers like having a set schedule. It is monotonous at times, but it makes life easier. I think that's why they do better in preschool sometimes because they have a set routine and they know that after lunch they always take a nap.

Hang in there!
Stephanie

My oldest stopped taking naps at 2.5. The Daycare really forced all of the kids to lay down quietly for 3 hours (!!!) every day and then I couldn't get him sleep until close to midnight every night. Some kids just require less sleep than others. Still, 2.5 is pretty young for naps to stop. My 2nd still needed naps until he was about 3. The only way I could get my 2nd to sleep when he was 2.5 was to put him in his car seat and drive around for a little while. It was a pain, but it worked!

I teach that age at preschool. Many of the parents said the kids didn't nap anymore. The first day of school only 2 of the 9 kids napped. As of now they ALL nap.

If you invest a little now, it will pay off later.

HOLD him, rock him, etc. even if (when) he fights you. Play the same quiet music every day during nap time. Lay him down when he begins to clam. I would do it for up to 1.5 hours (I know! It's hard at first). Do this for 10 days. As he fights less, lay him down without holding him.

If you see no improvement within 10 days, I would feel comfortable that he doesn't need a nap. It is a 15 hour max investment that will yield countless hours of peace. My 4 year old still naps. He went through a stage about this age when we had to go toe-to-toe about nap time for a couple of weeks.

I think it is a battle worth fighting! :)

Good luck.

Nap time MAY be over for him, if you expect him to sleep at a certain time. Perhaps lying down with him and reading a book would help relax him.

It seems like he thinks "this" is fun time instead of slow-down time.

My daughter NEVER took naps, as such, after two. I just prayed for an early bedtime!!

Good luck!

2.5 is about the time mine gave up their naps. If you have a late bedtime, nap time may be able to come back, but if they go to bed early, it may be gone. You may also find that he needs a nap every few days instead of every day.

Ok, back to the problem. We always had rest time. They didn't have to sleep, but they had to be in their bed, looking at books or playing with a quite (not electronic) toy until I said it was time to come out. I'd shoot for 1 hour and then check on them. Sometimes they would have fallen asleep, othertimes, I just had to let them get up. As for keeping him in the bed, it's a dicipline thing. How would you handle another dicipline problem? Maybe sit next to his bed for a few days so he knows you mean business and every time he gets out of bed, put him right back in -- supernanny style. It may take a few days, but it should work.

Both my kids stopped napping at 2. The hardest part was keeping them up so they didn't fall asleep at 5 then stay up until 11.

Both of my children gave up nap time when they hit 2. Many children do.

my almost 3 year-old kind of stopped taking naps a couple months ago. sometimes she will, sometimes she won't. I would say that we are at about 95% on the not taking a nap percentile. however, i do tell her that she has to lay down and rest. sometimes i hear her reading her books and talking to herself for two hours. then i go up and get her. i would lay him down in bed and sit in front of the door like you are doing, but continue to put him in bed without saying a word. don't say, "it is time to take a nap", etc. just no words, only action. most likely you will have to do this a few times depending on how strong-willed your child is. in fact, you may need to repeat for a few days. i would give it a week following this and see what happens. good luck!! This age is really hard :)

also, i agree with the expectations. you need to set-up the expecations upfront so that it is a fair playing field. If you just want him to "rest" or have "quiet time" then tell him that upfront and how long it is going to be for. Then be consistent. I have really learned "consistency" is the key with a 2 year old. You don't have consistency, then nothing works. Also, like i said I leave books on my daughter's bedside and ask her if she would like a baby in bed. That way she has something quiet to do.