2 1/2 Not Wanting to Nap anymore...NOOOO!!!!!!!

You are so lucky that your son has napped till now. The twins quit napping during the day before 2! And my older son quit napping at 2. What I do is quiet time. They can have music on, but they need to stay in their beds and read a book for a little while. Sometimes they don't stay in their beds, but in their rooms. One looks at books the other plays cars either on his bed or on his floor and my girl either plays with her doll house or reads books. It gives me some quiet time and I do this for a designated 1/2 hour and sometimes they play like that for an hour before they are ready to be up and running again.

My son wasn't much of a napper either. Also, being the ADD crazy all over child that he was, I needed my quiet time also. What we did was make an agreement... He didn't have to take a nap, but he did have to stay in his room during quiet time, which was about an hour each day. During that time he had to play quietly in his room. At the end of quiet time he had to clean up his room and then he could come out. But he wasn't allowed to come out during that one hour block. After a few mishaps, things went well and he enjoyed his quiet time and sometimes, actually fell asleep during it, thus he was less grumpy in the afternoon.

My now 3 1/2 year old did the same thing last fall. He rarely naps and when he does, he is awake until 10 pm! He too was falling asleep in the late afternoon so I knew he NEEDED a nap! I finally gave up the fight, (and if he starts falling asleep later I turn the TV off and put some music on!) and he now is in this routine: I read him his usual 3 stories and then he has 30 minutes of quiet time on his bed with books, stuffed animals and quiet music. I set the timer. After 30 minutes it rings and I go up and pull up his shade and he can play quietly in his room for another 30 minutes. He has gotten pretty good about all of it by now. My brother, husband and I all took naps at 5 years of age so I was surprised when my son stopped so early. Good luck!

Yes!! Tell him that he doesn't 'have' to sleep; but that he still needs quiet time. Give him his favorite book/s and that he can just rest in his bed. He doesn't have to sleep, just rest and be quiet. (Or a movie..)You can set some kind of disciple that he has to stay in his room or no .... whatever you use. He needs to understand that yes, he's growing up and becoming a "big boy" but he still needs time to relax. Ask him how is after dinner when he didn't have a nap. Kids remember if/when they are not happy/cranky. Encourage him to recognize his feelings/behavior and state that resting/relaxing for a bit in his room is a good choice.
Good luck!!

I don't know what the other posters have said, so I hope I'm not repeating them.
What worked for my son was to change the expectation of it. He was just over 3 when he started doing the same thing. Instead of calling it a nap, I told him he just needed to lay quietly for a while and if he fell asleep that was ok. That kept his nap going for another 6 months or so. But now, no nap. And I miss that quiet time. He will go play quietly in his room for about an hour if I tell him that mommy needs quiet time. One important thing, don't think that just because he doesn't want to nap that he needs less sleep. He may need to go to bed earlier on the days he doesn't nap -- and you may find you appreciate the quiet time at night too!

I don't know what it's all about, because I read stories to my son about kindergarten and they talk about nap time. Both of my boys ditched naptime at 2 1/2! So did kids really take naps until they were 5 back when those books were published?

I don't know that you really can "push harder" for the nap. One thing you can't force someone to do (without drugs) is to sleep!

With my oldest, he had "rest time" on his bed with all the books he wanted. At first, he'd fall asleep most days. gradually he got so he never did fall asleep. That took several months. After that, we switched to movie time while baby brother had a nap.

With my second, it was harder. He's not inclined to look at books for longer than a few minutes, and it just wouldn'tn work for him. We had a few tough weeks when he was very grumpy at dinner time. I often put him to bed an hour early if he's really unhappy. Now that he's almost 3, he's mostly converted to sleeping a little later in the morning.

I thought I was going to die without a break from the 2 1/2 year olds, but you adjust. You sort of get to like the freedom of being out in the afternoon.

If your little guy knows his numbers, put a digital clock in his room. Let him know he has to have quiet time until the first number is a 1 or a 2, whatever you decide. This works great for early morning risers, too. Both my boys have always woken early. They can get up and go to the bathroom, but after that, they have to play quietly in their room until the first number on the clock is a seven. It works like a charm and I never have to set my alarm because my two-year-old always comes in and tells me, "7 o o, Mom. Breakfast!" I hope this can work for you to have rest time in the afternoons! You may have to move up his bedtime so that he is still getting the amount of sleep he needs.

Blessings,
T.

Your son sounds exactly like my daughter who is 27 months! I am 20 weeks pregnant with #2 and i TOTALLY understand your need and desire to have some alone time away from your 2 yr old. On the days that my daughter doesn't want to take a nap we have quiet time...I like to make sure that it's the exact length of time that her nap would have been and often after playing for 45 minutes or so she will fall asleep. We actually locked her door so she could not come out (we tried the Supernanny stay in bed technique...absolute failure, it didn't work for her at all). Now she knows that it's naptime and she can stay in her room and play quietly or sleep. She doesn't try to leave her room even though we no longer lock the door. Many times she doesn't sleep at all, on those days I try to get her needs taken care of earlier in the evening and I will put her to bed earlier (usually equivalent to the length of time her nap is...for example she usually goes to bet by 8:30 if she has napped for 1 1/2 hours...if she doesn't nap she goes to bed around 7). The next morning she wakes up at the same time as usual.

I wouldn't allow any sort of stimulating activities...movies during nap/quiet time are not a good idea as they can be too stimulating and even if he gets tired while watching may not sleep. I encourage my daughter to stay in bed and I keep a box of toys and books near her bed so she doesn't have to get out to get them. Good luck! I feel your pain!

I also dread this happening. My daughter is the same age and sometimes boycotts naps. Usually she naps 90 mins to 2 1/2 hours, so it seems like she still needs one, but on the days she doesn't nap, she seems ok too -- but I am with you, I NEED that time to myself!! When she has boycotted naps, I tell her that she doesn't have to sleep, but she does need to stay in her room for quiet time because "Mama needs a break". At first she cried or called for me the whole time, but just recently she has started accepting it and playing quietly for 45 min to an hour! She is still in a crib, so that does help contain her.

If I were you, I'd continue as close to your routine as possible. He may go back to napping after a few days, but if not you have kept the routine of having down time and he should be able to get used to that too. You might start by saying that he can play quietly or read books, but that he must be in his bed during quiet time. He might just settle down enough on his own after awhile to nap on his own.

I am assuming that he is in a toddler bed? I have had this happen too. What I have done is two different things. First I would lay down with my son(he was in a twin bed). He would fight me for a few minutes and then fall asleep. Once he was out, I could leave and he would stay asleep.

Second child hated me laying next to her and she is in a toddler bed so that was out anyway. I actually put locks on the inside of the room. You know the kind that fits over the handle so they can't open the door. Well I took all toys/books out, made sure she was fine, told her I loved her and left the room. Even if she got out of bed, she couldn't get out of the room. eventually she would fall asleep (usually on her bed but sometimes on the floor) I would check on her a few times if she was crying but otherwise just left her alone until nap time was over.

I hope you find some way to get him to take a nap. Both of my kids were completely done with voluntary naps at 3 years old, but still fall asleep in the car if we are out driving around in the late afternoon.

Some kids just give up naps earlier. I compensated saying my son could give up his naps at this age, HOWEVER his bedtime was going to be 6:40! That way I did get my downtime and during the day he did have some quiet time with books in his room but you cannot force them to nap.

If he isn't tired during the day and really grumpy by dinnertime then I would let him give them up. All kids vary, my daughter didn't give up naps willingly until she was four!

Most 2 1/2 year olds need 13+ hours of sleep, so adjust his bedtime accordingly so he is getting that at night if he is giving up naps now. My son was more then willing to give up his naps in exchange for early bedtime and I got some downtime in the evenings! :) Good luck

You didn't mention how long he is sleeping at night...so if he is sleeping well at night and getting enough rest then I would say go for the quiet time...and who knows he may end up falling asleep. Hope something works for you. Good luck!

I have kids that still nap at 5 & 3 years old. They both went through phases of resisiting naps. It would last for 1-2 weeks and then they stopped resisting. At this age it is really hard to tell if they don't really need a nap anymore or if they are just testing boundaries. If naps are important to you, I wouldn't give up on the idea right away. I'd just put him down & have consequences if he gets up or rewards if he doesn't. Ride it out for a few weeks to see if it is a resistent phase, or if he really doesn't need a nap anymore. My kids don't sleep as long at night as some kids who don't nap, but I don't mind early risers & the nap schedule just works better for our family than an early bedtime does. They sleep from 8:30-8:45 to about 6:30-7:00am and nap from 2:30-5:00 - just to give you an idea.

Good luck!

I hear you! But it's even harder to MAKE a child nap than it is to MAKE him eat. You want to pick your battles very carefully. Try going to a rest time, with lots of books for him to read, maybe some quiet music, and maybe also some quiet toys (like stuffed animals). You might tell him that the rules are: 1) only quiet talking for quiet time and 2) feet must stay off the floor! If it works, it gives you a chance at least to put your feet up or get the dishes done - and if he falls asleep, well, that's not your fault. :^)

My 2 year old has his days too. What I do with mine is I have a gate on his door so he has to stay in there, also when he fights napping I just keep putting him down and I honestly had one day that I put him down at 2 and he didn't sleep until 5. The door knob things are great too but mine if he slams the door against the wall it falls off. Hang in there it is tough but this is the age they test mom's authority so be strong.

My son stopped napping before he was 2. So we feel you. But what we do is have an hour of watch a movie time. He gets a mat, blankets, pillow and his bear and we chill in the living room with all the lights off and make it dark. If he don't sleep , it's ok he at least laid down and rested. If he falls asleep great! but that hasn't happened in over a year.He loved at first laying down with mom, it was our cuddle time, now he's just "too old" for that but i still sit on the couch on the laptop and relax with him.

You know the answer to your own question, you just don't want to accept it! My son went to quiet time instead of napping by the time he was 2. I did have to gate his room so he couldn't just march out - he was out of a crib by 18 months and I didn't want him wandering the house. the rule was to stay on his mattress with books or quiet toys with his music playing on his tape recorder and he couldn't come out until the music was over - it was about a 45 minute tape. You could get a longer CD if you think he'll tolerate that. Just keep putting him back in his room until that quiet music is over -it's a good cue. I wouldn't use TV or a movie - you want to limit screen time and you want to push a more positive activity like looking at a picture book or learning to play by himself with toys. Just be patient - it'll take a few days to teach him to stay by himself.

I'm starting to go through this with my 16 month old. I read what the other moms have said about quiet time.

Here's my question-- what happens in Kindergarden when kids have mandatory nap time? I assumed kids took naps until they were 5 or so. If they won't take naps at age 2, what happens later?

I set a timer for quiet time. At his age, I would make him relax for 1 hour. It is still necessary for him to get some rest and his evening grumpiness shows that. Be consistent and do NOT give in!

Have a GREAT day!

S.

If he's grumpy by dinner due to a lack of sleep he's not ready. Its when they start staying up late to compensate for naps that you can finally let them stop. All kids do this at different ages.

It sounds like he's starting to exert a little control over his life and picked this as his battle. I'd make the 1 hour of quiet time in his room. He'll probably fight you for a week or two and then exhaustion will catch up and he'll start napping again.

My DD did this in Jan for 3 weeks and just as I was about to yank the nap for sheer frustration she started sleeping 3 hours again. It lasted for 4 months and then she gave them up for good in August. GL!!!

Hi M.-

I can feel your frustration! my son before his 2nd birthday,was skipping naps, oh boy I wasn't ready forthat either at 2! So yes, I would recommend that you give him that "quiet time" which is good for everyone involved!!
good luck!

Been there. Push hard for those naps. I think kids still need them at that age. Show him you are in control. Don't let him control nap time. I bought the door handles so that my daughter (and now son) couldn't come out. They of course cried until they fell asleep. Sometimes wherever they were crying (on the floor, under the bed). But soon after I wouldn't have to use the handles. That's why I like to keep them in a crib until there 3--if possible.

Our neighbor has "quiet time" in her house. Her son doesn't need to sleep but he does need to lay there quietly & read a book. No toys. Eventually he falls asleep-he still needs his nap too. Change it from "nap time" to "quiet time" & you do quiet time too. If he can hear there's nothing cool going on w/o him (my boys' biggest problem-missing something) & he knows he's got to lay there, whether he reads or not is up to him, maybe that'll at least get you a bit of quiet time. You could always set a timer... maybe on your phone or a clock radio set to classical music, that'll go off w/a peaceful sound to let him know time is up, but that he'll still sleep through if he's napping.
I hated when my boys quit napping! Mommies need breaks too!

Hey M.!
I think you hit it right on the nose! "Quiet Time" is a fabulous idea! Our son is also 2 1/2 and was refusing naps. He was doing almost identical to what your son is doing. We tell him now that it's time for "Quiet Time" and he can read a book, watch a movie, play with his toys quietly in his room. Generally speaking, when he does these quiet activities, he ends up falling asleep. Good luck!
J.

It depends on what you really want and are willing to do for it, I think. My little girl put up a fight when we moved her to a regular bed, but we got through that and to normal nap schedules, we just kept putting her back to bed. If it got to late, we still had her go to sleep, just for the principle of the thing, but sometimes we would wake her up prematurely. Then about a month ago, she started fighting me again. In a manner of speaking. She would remain quiet enough as to not wake her younger brother, and wouldn't come out, but she also wouldn't go to sleep. So I have started staying in there with her, only for nap time, until she goes to sleep, I either give her incentives or consequences if she moves around too much to sleep. That has been working, I still usually get about an hour of quiet time to myself, but this is what has worked for me and for me it has been worth it. Hope that helps.

Hi M. - I feel your pain! That afternoon quiet was so hard to give up. Quiet play or watching a tv show is the next best thing. The naptime struggle only revved up my son. He just turned 3 and he naps at least 3x a week. The quiet time settles him down and he ends up napping on the couch but he gets a good 90 minutes and so do I!

all the best,

C.

It is a difficult transition. Try to wear him out in the morning, if you can. Then have some quiet time in the afternoon. If he's tired enough, hopefully he'll sleep.

Hi!

I've been going through this with my own two-year old. I really think that quiet time is a good approach. I do not think it should be watching a movie or cartoons. I put my son in his bed (still in a crib, no money to buy a bed!) and give him books that he can read to his "guys" (stuffed animals) and say, "You can read and play with your guys, or go to sleep, but you need to be quiet for a little while". It seems to work. He usually reads for a little while, then sings, then tosses books and guys out of the crib, then sleeps. You are right, you do need YOUR quiet time, and if you can get him to stay in his room, quiet for an hour or more, it will help with his evening attitude.
Good luck.

M.,

Yes!! Just set aside some time for you and for him to have quiet time. I had quiet time until I was 10!! My 7 year old has quiet time in the summer so I can focus on not pulling my hair out.
Movies are great, just playing in their room is great. When he can read it will be even better!

Good Luck!
V.