Hi moms! I sure hope someone can help me, cause I am at my wits end. I have a 7 year old daughter, who up untll recently, has been very outgoing, willing to try anything, etc. Lately, she is clinging to her father and I and over-emotional about EVERYTHING. She takes dance, which she has been taking for 5 years now at the same school, and she began a theater class. She is carrying on suddenly that she doesn't want us to leave her. And crying days before the classes. I don't know what to do and am extremely frustrated. Any suggestions, guidance would be appreciated. Please tell me this too will pass.
I think I should add that I have already told her that maybe we should scale things back and limit the activites, which from what she has told me, is the LAST thing she wants to do.
Hi, M.:
Stop the classes and the theater. Give her R & R.
After a time off, see if she regroups.
Good Luck. D.
I would recommend talking with your daughter to try to find out what is going on. Has something happened in her dance class? Talk to the instructors also. It really sounds like something has happened there. Maybe she is being bullied by one of the other children. Are the same kids in the theater class? Or maybe she can't handle what is expected of her in the classes. Maybe the teachers are coming on too strong and expect more than she can give.
It could also be something totally unrelated to the classes that is making her insecure. How is she doing in school? Is she having issues there?
Talk to your daughter. If she feels uncomfortable talking about what is wrong, then maybe she could talk to a counselor, your pastor or a trusted friend.
M.,
Something is wrong. I sort of agree with the Mama that said STOP the classes and give her a break. However, I have other suggestions before you do that.
1. Have your child check out by her doctor.
2. Have a long talk with her instructors.
If there has been anything out of line with the instructors or other children in class, you need to know. You have probably tried to talk about this with your child, but sometimes out of fear or threat children keep quiet.
3. If you do decided to STOP the classes, make sure your child knows it probably means she will NOT take part in the next few performances.
Blessings.....
Could something have happened there that she is afraid could happen again? Crying days before the classes gives me pause that she must have a very deep fear. Try to find out what it is without making your little girl your enemy. Good luck.
D.
Hi M.,
This too will pass! However, I would really pay attention to what your daughter is telling you right now. Since this has suddenly started, I would imagine that some "trauma" has caused her to feel insecure. As you know, kids look at things much differently than adults and even something as brief as hearing about something that happened to a child on the news can cause little ones to be afraid.
When my oldest son was young, I started dedicating just 10 minutes at bed time to listen to him talk. I would ask him things like, "What was the best part of your day today?" or "Did you see something funny today?" I might also ask him, "Did something sad happen today?" No matter what he said, I would just listen calmly and reassure him that I loved him. It was amazing what he was able to communicate! This might take a while for you and your daughter to feel comfortable with but it really helps develop a practice of keeping the communication open. My son is 18 now and I'm so glad we have established open communication.
I would also try to let your daughter know that you are not requiring her to be in her dance class or theater class. You might remind her about how much fun she has had in the past but let her know that you love her just the same if she doesn't want to do these activities -- then just hide your disappointment if she doesn't want to go for a while! If she truly wants to be a dancer or actor, she will persue these things when she's ready.
Best Wishes!
Have you checked with the dance instructors to see if something happened at class that she's not telling you? Or at school? Maybe another she & another student had an issue?
Is something going on at the classes? I would check before pulling her out. Separation anxiety should be finished at age 2/3. She is trying to express a fear but doesn't know how. At least talk to a therapist.
