Separation Anxiety Fixes for 4 Year Old

Maybe he just isn't ready for preschool. I would look at it from all perspectives. Ask yourself..."am I sending him to preschool to get more time for myself?" "What is he really gaining in preschool?" "Is what he gets out of preschool really worth doing this to him?" If you are just sending him to preschool so that you can get things done without lugging a 4 yr old around with you, it isn't worth it. I never bought into the idea that kids need preschool for social interaction or that they will do better in school if they go to "preschool" first. I have 2 kids, one in 1st grade and a 4 yr old. I never sent them to preschool. I taught them the ABC's, 123's and their colors by the time they were 3. I have always taken them to parks for social interaction. I am very proud to say that I was able to teach them everything they need to know before they hit Kindergarten. My oldest is excelling in his grade. He is in the top reading group, he can spell and read very hard words. He loves to figure out math problems, and is one of the most social kids I have seen. He makes friends with everyone he can. My youngest can write her name, her brother's name, my name and my husband's name. She knows the ABC's, all of her colors and can count to 100. She isn't too shy about meeting new friends either. I wouldn't say I am raising geniuses, I just took the time to teach them, and this is what came of it. They are proud of themselves, and I saved a heck of a lot of money on "preschool." If my child was so upset to the point of vomiting, I'd pick him up and take him home. Then take him out of the preschool. Keep him home with you, and enjoy teaching him. You can decide when he is 5 if he is ready for Kindergarten, if not, then you can wait until he is 6. You are the parent, you don't have to do what doesn't feel right just because all the other moms are doing it.

C.,

It sounds to me like something has happened at day care that makes him frightened to stay.

I would look into that angle of the situation.

Sometimes they just go through a period of wanting Mommy all the time.

Good Luck.

I am a mom of 4 and i did the home day care for all these years. What i have learned is that the quick hand off is the least stressful for the child and if they cry that by the time you get back into your car they are pretty much done crying. I am good at distracting the children . I would talk to his teacher and see if they had any suggestion too. Good luck and god bless

You could take him out of pre-school and take care of him yourself. He'd be thrilled. I've never understood everybody's obsession with pre-school.

I'm not saying you're obsessed, I'm saying society's obsessed, and therefore everybody thinks they're "supposed to" put their children in pre-school. Think about it -- what child would actually choose pre-school over their own home? I had lots and lots of playmates for my kids. We skipped pre-school, and we all taught them numbers, letters, reading, etc. at home.

My son had a few bumps last year in preschool. I went out and bought cute stickers, then before I left I would kiss it and put it on his shirt, so every time he was sad or missed me he just looked at it. Later in casual conversation find out if there is a kid being mean, talk to his teacher at another time to see if something has happened. It is pretty normal especailly hard when they have long holiday breaks then have to jump back into the routine of going again.

Also, to dispute the preschool not being a good thing or him not being ready I disagree completely. There are days my second graders clings to me! So should I pull her out just because of that, no way. It will happen again probably when he heads to Kindergarten, it is normal. Preschool is AWESOME for four year olds, it teaches them peer structure, doing things as a team, it teaches them to listen to another adult and follow instructions, they learn and thrive a great deal more then being thrown in school in Elementary with no prior experience of a classroom setting. Studies have proven that they do a lot better in class and as year progress if they have had prior exposure. He needs to learn that he will not always be home, which is a good thing not a bad thing at all! At four he probably may be headed to Kindergarten next year and you are giving him a huge gift by not enabling him but just reassuring him!!!!! Preschool tends to be a few days a week, so it gives him a good taste of heading to Elementary and going more then that. They passed that law about allowing funding for all four year olds and up to get a chance at preschool here in Colorado for a very good reason. I see my son doing so well now in Pre K and have the comfort of knowing that next year he will do great in Kindergarten. Being home all the time isn't a good thing for kids his age, you are doing a good thing by sending him.

Do not linger, just give him a kiss and a hug and tell him you will see him soon and walk away. If you are standing there trying to comfort him it will make it harder on him and he will get more upset, promise. Just walk off, he will get better and it will ease up. He is old enough that he should probably calm down within minutes after you leave. My son's teacher said three minutes after I had left that he was fine and it took maybe three weeks for him to get past this phase.
Let your son's teacher comfort him and just leave....it will pass! :)