I take my 8 month old daughter to play in child watch at the gym while I work out. She was fine for the first month but for the last 2-3 weeks she cries after I leave her. They have a policy that kids who cry more than 15-20 minutes have to go back to their parents. I can't get a workout because of this. I know it's separation anxiety but how do I combat it when she knows that she'll get me if she cries when she's in child watch? I can't get around their policy either. I'm not sure how to handle this. She used to love it there and I'm not sure how long this phase is supposed to last. We don't give in to her when she's home. She whines or cries for just a few minutes and then she's over it. Any suggestions?
i wonder if the 'not giving in to her' at home is what's causing a more generalized form of anxiety. tinies her age aren't trying to work you, they just cry when they're trying to communicate, so ignoring her attempts could actually be causing her genuine fear when she's in a strange place. (and even if she's been there before, she's too tiny for the childwatch to be comfy and familiar.)
khairete
S.
K., it isn't "giving in to her" to go to her when she cries. She is not manipulating you and crying because she "knows you will come to her when she's in child watch." At eight months old, she is not capable of that kind of thinking ahead and manipulating an adult; she does not understand yet you will come back, because at her age, when you disappear you disappear forever and entirely, in her mind. That's what separation anxiety is all about and all infants go through it. She didn't love child care at the gym previously; she just hadn't entered the perfectly normal stage of separation anxiety. This is not a matter of disciplining her or forcing her to endure while you're away. Change your workout routine, work out at home, or temporarily find a 24-hour gym where your husband can be home with her while you work out at hours he can do that. When she's a toddler and staying in gym care, day care or at preschool, you will deal with it differently, with verbal reassurances and returning to check on her and ensuring her caregivers are playing with her well and distracting her, etc., but right now she is a very small infant, and the only way to reaassure her is to be there with her.
You may have to change your workout schedule and only work out when your husband can be standing by to take her until she's through this phase. Most children go through this sometime between 8 and 15 months. How long it lasts depends on the child. Sorry I couldn't be more help. Your gym's policy sounds a little self defeating. Maybe you could talk to management about how the policy is only going to prolong the problem for most of the children that come in there.
Separation anxiety is a normal phase children go thru at about 8 or 9 months. Depends on the child how long it lasts but normally not longer than a month or two. You can't "train" the child out of it. This is a natural process. Can you find a work out place that allows children to be with you? Or can you go for a walk and push the child in a stroller? AF
What changed? If she liked it to begin with, what changed? Having 3 kids of my own and 9 that call me Mom, I understand separation anxiety, but most kids don't suddenly realize that they don't like someplace. You may want to take one or two of her favorite toys and go to the gym. Instead of working out tho, stay nearby, out of her eyesight, see what happens. If she starts crying, go in and reassure her, once she is calm, leave again. If this doesn't work than you will have to find time when you have someone to watch her to exercise.
I have Comcast Cable, and the exercise programs that they have on demand are excellent, and best of all I can do them at home, for free (except the cable bill).
I agree with those who said that you may have to change your workouts to something you can include her in or to when someone else can watch her. Tag team the time with your husband? You may find that she gets over it and then goes back to being anxious around 12-15 months like my daughter did. Now she cries for any member of our immediate family, not just me.
You might try to take her in a few times when you aren't going to work out, just to remind her that it's fun there.
Also, ask them what they do when a child cries. Do they watch the clock or engage the child in play? Do you act anxious when she cries or do you smile and wave and leave? I find that a quicker exit at daycare is an easier transition for my daughter, if not for me.
Good luck.
K.,
I know you want to get yourself in shape. So, why not try some DVD's that you can watch at home to get your exercise until your baby is a little older and gets better adjusted to being away from mom. They usually adjust when they start being around other children and learn to enjoy interaction with others.
I would break the habit of her crying by simply not taking her to the gym for a few weeks. Get a sitter or go when your husband can watch her. Do you really WANT her to cry more than 15-20 minutes?? Two minutes even?
She needs you to reassure her now, and not ignore her. Only by giving her attention will she become secure and not afraid.
In a few weeks or a couple months, she will be fine. Then she will love the gym care program and won't want to leave. Then you can make up for missed workouts and work out longer :)
