My son is 10 months old and is very attached. My husband works from home so he stays home with him Monday-Thursday and I am home on Friday's. We have only had our parents and my grandma watch him since he was born. Ever since he was about 6 months old he has had a hard time with us leaving. Everytime we go to pick him up he has been crying to the point that he does those sniffles/breaths from crying so hard...(I don't know how to describe it :) It's so heartbreaking because he is such a happy happy baby...it's just once he realizes we are not there he freaks out. Does anyone have any good suggestions or maybe someone has gone through this and can give some insight to how to help it or if it goes away? I feel like we have done it to him by being around him all the time. He is totally fine being around other people as long as we are there...but within a half an hour of us leaving he falls apart. Any suggestions would be great!
You have got to keep letting other people watch him he will pull out of it. But if you stop leaving him you are going to have even more troubles with him. Just do it little at a time. An hour or so here or there then work your way up. I have gone threw this with my kids and I am a daycare provider so I have seen this many times. Keep your chin up he will come out of it I promise but dont stop leaving him!!!
http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/separa...
Hello S.
Go to then link above it explains what is going on. It is normal for kids to do this.. I have it all the time in my daycare , but once they get used to me they are fine. I had one who would flop all over when his parents left. Once they were out of his sight he would stop. Now he smiles walks in the playroom and is fine. Kids and be off and on with this stuff to. So they are fine for awhile and then all of a sudden they are anxious again. It happens at different stages in development.
Make a ritual out of saying goodbye (a happy one), NEVER NEVER NEVER sneak out when he is not looking. This will only add to his distress when he realizes you are gone. He should start developing some object permanance which will help. I am a home based working mom and only my parents watch my 18th month for us as well but my son is doing fine. He has special tpoys that he only has at Grandma and Grandpa's house and we make a huge deal out of going to visit. With separation anxiety though, you need to acknowledge his feelings (verbally to him) and stay positive. Lots of times they will read your emotions (nervousness about leaving him) and that causes them to get upset. I also bring my son things when I come back sometimes, kinda like a reward, but I generally just make a game out of leaving-giving lots of hugs kisses and he watches me leave with grandpa or grandma from the window and whther or not he understands, I do tell him exactly when I will be back and reitterate when I come back....See I told you mommy would be back>>>>>
Hope this help and good luck. I would say that it is just a developmental stage you are going to have to work through with him. Search it out online because the more comfortable you are, he will be too.
C. L.
Here are some links to some articles for you.
http://www.healthline.com/galecontent/separation-anxietyh...
http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/development/separation_anx...
This sounds so much like my second son. I was married, my first son about 3 and my second was still a baby. I was a stay at home mom caring for these two, but anytime I needed to go somewhere without the baby he just started crying and screaming from the time I walked out of the door until I came home again. The length of time I was gone didn't matter, he cried the whole time. Even staying with his father didn't work, he cried.
I always picked him up and held him when I got home until he stopped crying and he did grow out of it. It might take a few more months but your son be all right.
Today this same "baby" is about to turn 21 and he still is a very caring person and also very protective of his younger sister.
K.
S., this is perfectly normal!
Here is some tips...
~Make sure your son knows that you will come back (each time you leave just tell him you will see him when you get home or you will be home after his nap, etc)
~Show your son that you like and trust the person that he is being left with. You can do this by interacting with this person, your son will pick up that this person is "good"
~Don't prolongue the goodbye too long because this may make him sense that you are nervous about leaving him with this person. Once it is time to go say "Ok mom is leaving but I will see you later" Then leave, even if he starts to cry. Trust me he will stop crying sooner if he knows that you don't come back just because he cries. Some kids will literally use crying as a tool to get you to stay.
I hope this information is helpful! I promise this stage will pass in a couple months!
The previous poster hit the nail on the head(so to speak). That is great advice to take.
Hi S.,
I have two boys, 3 and 9 months. I am a stay at home mom and when I do have to go somewhere without them they usually cry. I find giving them a hug and kiss then leaving is the best. Prolonging the situation is not going to make it better. My husband always says that they stop after a few minutes. Hope this helps a little. Good luck.
Chris
