Sensitive/bored in School?

There are many other ways to have your daughter involved with other children outside of school. Sign her up for some class be it sports, art or other interest area. My daughter makes friends easy also but is shy when an adult starts to ask questions. She is also sensitive and smart and I would suggest you look at your doctor's suggestion. Your daughter is advanced and will lose interest in what the teachers has to say. I am going through this right now and the doctor stated that the teacher should be encouraging her and provide resources because my daughter is bored in class and has started to challenge and question the teacher - which is not a good thing, especially for an "old school" teacher. Last years teacher recommended that we get my daughter tested. But we did not want to push her either and wanted the socialization with the other kids. After this school year ends, we are not going to wait for her to be evaluated if she continues to be advanced and bored. I am disappointed that the private school I am paying to send her to does not care if she can already read at an advanced level. So now every night I am having to make sure that she reads a book at her level. As the reader that was sent home for the first grading period was read by my daughter in less than an hour.

I wish I would have advocated more for her as I did not want to be one of the "bragging" moms on how smart their kid is... so I tried to down play it and "pretended" that it is normal for her to do what she does. After talking with her doctor, I finally realized that I was not "imaging" or thinking that she was advanced. She is ahead and I am no longer going to take "No" from the school or will consider transferring her.

Be aware though if you put her in these other classes that she is placed properly. As you can run into problems with this as well. Second problem I have is that she is tall and most people think she is older. This was part of my problem as I thought when I signed my daughter up for ice skating that she would be placed with her age group. At some point she kept getting pushed to the next group in the same session and eventually it was to high, so she became frustrated. As I was sitting by another parent and was talking with them did I discover she was placed with the 9-10 year olds as she was 6. So I had to speak with the coach. This has happened in several different classes- soccor and gymnastics. Since I was new to this I did not realize it but after the second time it has occur, I now make it a point to let the instructor know she is ONLY 6 years old.

It is quite frustating in an odd sense and I wish you luck. I hope others respond becuase I would like some guidance on what to do- I feel like i am walking in the dark here.

Dear T.,

I would like to suggest that you look at a website caled "selectivemutism.org. Dr. Blum is an advocate for "extremely shy" children and has much advice. I personally deal with my own child that has this "shyness" and we work through the anxiety on a daily basis. She is only six, but was diognosed by us (mom & dad) at age 4. Not one doctor or school professional has yet to become well educated in dealing with the extremely shy, yet highly intellegent child. I have beome the advocate for my little one and others and would be very happy to answer any questions or guide you to the appropriate proffesionals if you are interested. There are many adjustments you can make to help your daughter begin to overcome her shyness. The earlier the better.
Any questions, please don't hesitate to email me.
Regards, C.

Hi T. -

You have to be the advocate for your child, you know her best. If not you, who?

My son is very highly intellegent (Im going to brag! - 150 on his IQ in 3rd grade!) BUT... did you hear that coming? lol He is also ADHD which makes things very difficult in school. We would constantly be asked to come in and talk with the teachers etc. We had to move him to a special program that helped him overcome not only the distractibilty issues, but also the emotionaly delayed issues. So even though he is a teenager now, he still has difficulty with maturity of his age level and does things you would expect a 5-7 year old to do. He is still highly intellegent, but putting him in advanced classes are a concern as he has difficulty with losing homework, which affects his grades. I want him to be in the higher level classes to challenge him, but the school does not agree. He finds things so easy that he tends not to put in effort if it becomes a little difficult and that is something I have major concerns with. We were always worried with that, if he gives up on difficult things because we never challenged him, adulthood could be tough.

He is very creative and has a great imagination. All these things combined have made the "social" area a bit tough as kids his age do not want to be associated with him. He has lots of friends that are younger though. A few places we find that he excels with friends his own age is church. His youth group loves him and he is a leader. They accept him as he is, and the fun loving person with a great sense of humor and warmth.

He is not the shy person your daughter is, but with any personality concern you have to find a place where they can be accepted for who they are. I myself was very shy when I was younger. I would hide behind my mom when anyone talked with me, very quiet in school, reserved, but now... LOL! One thing that helped me was getting confidence in myself.

I put my son in Karate for a majority of reasons (focus, discipline etc) and then myself joined. The confidence in my abilities has rocketed. Not only do I get a good physical workout (helps relieve stress) but you also get confidence in my abilities. They work wonders with kids, I have seen very shy children come out of their shell after a few months. They get a rapore with a group and can be themselves and see that they can accomplish a task and if they cant, they dont get picked on or made fun of in either of these two "groups" we have put our children in. Everyone is accepted for who they are and what strengths they can bring.

Once they have more confidence in themselves, they will blossom. Best of luck - and remember - you know your child best and what their needs are - help them to have confidence in themselves and watch them excel!

You are smart put her social needs. It's a shame in our society that kids are push so hard as such a early age to succeed. I'm sure that your daughter will feel comfortable in the classroom setting quickly. If there is an orientation make sure you attend alone with her only. You might also take walks around the school and peek in the kindergarden windows so she gets to see the classroom often.

My oldest grandson is curious about reading, writing, and math so he'll be going into kindergarden knowing a lot however getting along with others is the most important thing our children need to learn.

Trust your mom instincts; they are usually right.