Self Constipation

Updated on April 30, 2008
L.F. asks from Bridgewater, MA
22 answers

My 3 year old son refuses to have a bowel movement...he won't even pass gas without fighting it. He crosses and straightens his legs. It is clearly uncomfortable for him. I have had him on laxative... so the stool is very soft. I don't know what else to do to help him. We have been struggling with this constipation for 2 of his 3 years with a brief respite(1-2 days)when we tried to potty train him. Then he went back to refusing to go on the potty because it "hurts". Any ideas on how i can help him? TIA

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E.T.

answers from Boston on

Hi L., There is a Dr. Ellen Blomerth, located in the Hallmark Bldg. at the junction of Lowell St. & Rt. I in Peabody, who specializes in children and women (although she treats anybody). She has worked with many children from infants on up who have had issues with constipation and/or painful bowel movements. She is the only chiropractor on the East Coast who was trained in this special "gentle" method. I highly recommend that you call her at ###-###-####, and please tell her that I referred you to her. She often will take care of you the same day you call or at least by the next day. She is very caring as well as excellent in her profession. Hope this helps. E. Taft ____@____.com ###-###-#### call me with any questions, ie. directions, etc.

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D.K.

answers from Boston on

My 5 1/2 year old son has been suffering with severe constipation since he was 2. He has been seeing GI specialist for 2 1/2 years and honestly, the best thing for him is the new over the counter medicine Miralax. You put it in his drinks and it is odorless and had no taste and is softens the stool so that he can not hold it in any more. It is very psycological in many children and they feel like they need to control something in their life and their bodies are sometimes the only thing they can control. Also, try sitting him on the potty with some bubbles and have him blow the bubbles. The blowing actually is the same action of pushing out the poopies. So if you distract him with the bubbles he might go with out knowing. You can use a small plastic windmill as well. I know it sounds silly, but after 9 days with out a poop, and after tons of Miralax, it worked like a charm...Good luck!! I know how difficult it is to have a child who is constipated, by choice!!

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S.R.

answers from Boston on

I have the same problem with our three your old daughter. My neigbor told me she put her son on a daily fiber supplement (i.e. Benefiber) and I put a call in to my pediatrician. He recommended the same thing. I've been giving her 1/2 tsp in her drink every morning with breakfast. It's definitely helping her be more regular and the stool is softer so easier for her. I also think it makes it physically impossible for her to hold it in very long. She has stopped complaining that it hurts so I'm hoping that will eventually help us potty train her as well. Good Luck!

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K.A.

answers from Barnstable on

L.,

Constipation is something that should be taken care of immediately. Our colon is our major elimination organ and we should be having at least 2-3 bowel movements daily. They should be soft and significant and it should not hurt to go. We should also not have gas! This is a sign that foods are fermenting in the colon.
I am a Nutritional Microscopist and Wellness educator focusing on health through diet and lifestyle. If his toxins aren't coming out of the bowel, they are backing up into the blood and stressing his other filter organs. This can lead to many symptoms down the road.
In my office in Osterville, I examine live and dry blood to determine how the diet is effecting overall health. I also look to see what organ imbalances their might be. I'm guessing one of the profiles I would see in your son would be toxic bowel. There are many natural ways that we can overcome this challenge and make going to the potty a good experience.
For now, give your son plenty of water (no juice or dairy) and try to limit sugar. Concentrate on plenty of raw veggies.
I'd love to work with you and your son.

My business is Cape Microscopy and my phone is ###-###-####. My email is ____@____.com

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A.O.

answers from Boston on

MY son went through the same thing at that age, he is now 5. He would either end up with horrible gas w/loose stool or really hard stool that would hurt when he finally went. I spoke to his pediatrician about this and she suggested using mirolax (not sure of the spelling). It really helped him through the not wanting to poop! It is a very mild laxative and leaves them no choice but to go!! He only had 1 minor accident in his pants and after that he was willing to use the potty every time. I would call your sons Dr.'s office just to be sure that he can have this. Good Luck!

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M.B.

answers from Boston on

My son is also on a laxative and has been now for over a yr. He will be 4 next month. Because of his constipation issues it has caused hemroids. I have tried everything to easy the "it hurts" to go and holding it. Finally at wits end I went to the pharmacist to discuss if it would be ok to use an ointment. The pharmacist told me to use vaseline. He said just put a little on his bum so when he is pooping it will help it slide past to easy the pain. I have been using it and it does seem to help. Maybe try that for a bit and see.

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R.G.

answers from Boston on

Hi -
My son started suffering with Encopresis at around 3 years old as well. I was told going to preschool sometimes wreaks havoc on their bowel routine, making them constipated. And once they have a painful BM they become more & more afraid to go. It has been a very stressful situation at our house. Our pedi put him on Miralax daily, which helped with the constipation but kept him in pull ups alot longer than I would have liked. I tried understanding and reasoning to no avail. Then suddenly when he entered 1st grade it was if he was miraculously cured! He started going on the toilet every day, and he no longer needed medication. Then I went and had another baby, and the whole thing started up again. Now he is 8 years old and wearing pull ups again. I'm sorry I don't really have any advice except to say take it one day at a time. Have him sit on the potty after each meal and look at a book or play Leapster. Whether he goes or not it will establish a routine that will make the potty less scarey. Good luck!
R.

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B.R.

answers from Boston on

Try using rewards. My daughter withheld at that age and even now at 8 will sometimes regress. Good luck. I know you said you are using a laxative, are you using a daily laxative like miralax?

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S.P.

answers from Boston on

My daughter had the same problem. She was potty trained except for pooping because it hurt. We finally took her to a doctor because at times her constipation made her bleed. The doctor gave us a laxative and within 3 weeks she was completely potty trained. After she stopped holding the poop in because it no longer hurt we were able to stop the laxative, and she's had normal bowel movements ever since. She's now 6.

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L.S.

answers from Boston on

My daughter had the same issues after a bout with constipation when she was 3, and a toilet overflow that occurred a few days later at school put her over the edge for quite awhile. It took months to get back to normal, Mineral Oil was a cheap fix, made everything soft and impossible to hold. Make sure you use only one tablespoon or else you will have a real mess on your hand. There is a cute Japanese book called "Everyone Poops" that was very useful explaining the digestive process and why we go..we read it for years. It is silly but gets the point across. Good luck and take it one day at a time, this will be something you chuckle with him about when he is older, they do grow out of it. My daughter is now 11 and in 6th grade and it is no longer an issue.

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W.D.

answers from Boston on

3 year olds are funny creatures - they don't like to poop! but then again, I didn't either as a child.. they feel it's a part of them and they don't want to let it go sometimes.. sometimes, if they are constipated, they don't want to because it does hurt, but you just need to explain to him (yes, 1000 times) that waiting makes it hurt more.. My son did that and eventually he learned that if he goes right away, it'll hurt less.. keep giving him apple juice and raisins and stuff that will make him go and this phase should pass.. no pun intended! LOL

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D.L.

answers from Providence on

Hi I have had this problem with my son and believe it or not he is 8 and I will still catch him "holding" his stool in.
Okay he does it now for different reasons but it still bothers me.

He was very constipated and should eliminate bananas, cheese or any other foods that may hinder your progress for a period of time. My sons stool was and is still very large which of course is frightening for a small child.
You can either see if he will go on a normal toilet like mom and dad or if he already is perhaps he needs a little potty. He may also be afraid to see his poop being flushed down the toilet. Don't flush yet, just see if he will go, let him see you going without any trouble and how "fun" it can be to send your poop swimming (odd I know)
He may just not be ready really. One of my boys said he wanted big boy undies the 2nd day he turned 3 but my son who holds it in didn't go on the toilet consistantly till he was 4.
This still helps when my 8 yr old is too busy to listen to his body and realizes that he needs to hold it in just to make it to the toilet.
Just remember they wont go to college this way!

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D.S.

answers from Boston on

My daughter who is now 10 had this problem from age 2 til about 5. It is called encapresis. It's more common than you'd think but no one likes to talk about it. My two boys had it but to a lesser degree. What happens in many cases is that the bowel, which is a muscle, loses it's tone from being over distended all of the time. This happens because the child is withholding. It can start because of fear of pain from having had a bad experience with constipation at a young age which was the case with my daughter. Or because they don't want to stop playing to go to the bathroom which was the case with my sons. It's more common in boys. With my boys it started older and was easier to get under control. Your son's situation sounds more like my daughters. In any case, the primary goal is to clear the bowels completely so the muscle can recoil again and gain back control. It's important to be really aggressive with laxative treatment. We used a combination of Miralax, enemas,ducolax suppositories under my pediatrician's guidance. At one point we even went in to Children's for an Xray before we upped the anti with the treatment. It is NO FUN and I feel for you but you have to do it as soon as possible while he's still little and there's a good chance for complete reversal. It is not a psychiatric problem so don't worry but very important to treat now. Discuss it with your pediatrician and make sure he's on board with aggressive treatment to clean him out. If you don't think he is there is a program at Children's specifically for this problem. We didn't need to use it but I later found out that my nephew went through it. Good luck! You're not alone.

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J.A.

answers from Providence on

There are several over the counter items that can help with constipation. These products will help your son to have an easier bowl movement and not fight what should come natural.

I have used mirilax and have been sucessful with my children.
Talk to you doctor first but that product is the best out of all the ones I used so far.
Good luck

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J.M.

answers from Springfield on

Hello L., When my daughter was young, we had the exact same issue. Solution: buy some natural "bulking" grains, like Serutan(natures, spelled backward), stir a teaspoon of grains into a favorite juice, quickly,(grape juice for us) and it drink down! We called it Purple Cow. Drinking a few ounces once a day made a difference. Once our daughter trusted it didn't hurt,she relaxed and allowed nature to work.Keeping up fluids during the day helps too. Good Luck! J.

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L.B.

answers from Portland on

This same exact thing happened to my daughter at age 2, it lasted for about 6 months. I was determined to help her. My cousin's daughter went through the same thing too! This is so common. My doc is great and we came up with a plan that worked. One painful bowel movement can terrify a toddler, and they do not understand at that age that all BM's do not hurt. My doc recommended we use a small dosage of a natural laxative and change in diet. Understanding constipation can really help, research it and learn as much as you can. We used a senna product, when laxatives are used in small doses they act as a stool softener. It sounds like you are doing that. We did not have luck with the chocolate or powders, so we found this really great product at our local drug store...Fletcher's Kids Natural laxative with senna. It is root beer flavored and she loved the taste of it. We gave it to her every morning and evening 1tsp, for about 6 months and then weened it. The reason for this is to increase the number of soft BM's so your child can get over the fear of pooping, in essence you need to convince them pooping is normal and will not always hurt. We also gave her lots of water and pear juice, no milk and limited other dairy products. She ate lots of green veggies and melons, grapes, raisins, we switched out all of our white flour products with whole wheat products. After about a week of this life change she began to poop regularly (once a day), you need to be careful not to cause diarrhea, because that can be painful too. Sticker charts and rewards did not work well for us. We did have a small shoe box on the back of the toilet with small prizes in it and she was able to get one when she had a nice big BM, that worked for a while. But, the best thing for us was the senna and diet change. It is a year later now and she is no longer having issues. I could write more, but if you want more info and more specifics, let me know. I will tell you that I felt like poop ruled my life and my husband would call me the "poop warden" LOL. Hang in there and know that there are ways to help your child through this.

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L.C.

answers from Bangor on

Hi L.,
Arbonne has a vegan certified Orange Fiber Shake, made with both soluble and insoluble fiber from fruits and grains that my friend uses for her children to keep them regular. (IBS is in her family) She mixes it with their orange juice and they love it & neither child has an elimination problem anymore. It is gentle and your son wouldn't even know he was drinking something to help him with his bowels.
If you want to check it out it costs approx $31.50 with shipping & tax and comes in a 173 oz container that will last or the entire family can use. I personally use this every morning. There is a 45 day guarantee also. You can order it through my website if you are interested. http:seethedifference.myarbonne.com I hope I can help. L.

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R.B.

answers from Boston on

I would talk to your pediatrician about this. Retaining stool is not a good situation and can cause other problems. My cousin's son did that when his little brother was born. If things are soft, it should not be hurting him.

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T.D.

answers from Boston on

Hi L.,
We went through this with my now almost 12 year old son (and he still, every once in a while has an issue) My pediatrician explained that this is fairly common with boys and having known quite a few other mothers of boys with this issue, it seems she was right. With my guy, we talked alot about how everyone has to poop! Animals, people, etc. I got a book about the body for his age at the time and we talked about how the food goes in and out etc. It did help him, he's a real thinker and analytical mind so that approach worked well for him, however, what helped the most was a dose of mineral oil every night at bed time. It not only softens the stool, but it makes it "slide" out easier. Sorry for the graphic - but it really does. We just put about a tablespoon on the top of a paper cup with about 3 oz of apple juice (DON'T mix it in, just let it sit there, it's clear and no taste, and they get it all in the first mouthful then wash it down with the juice, for a long time he didn't even realize it was there.) It is so hard because you see them suffer and to us it makes no sense, but for some reason the boys don't like to part with it, seem to see it as losing part of themselves and they get into a real pattern that makes it painful to go and so they want to go even less. Be sure and consult your doctor too, ours was such a big help. Good luck.

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W.H.

answers from New London on

I wonder if he has an alergy to a food.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Reliv kids' product helps give balanced nutrition and really helps the digestive system in particular. Some of this "fighting it" is normal - a lot of kids go through it. But instead of laxatives, Reliv will regulate him so he doesn't "store up" for a couple of days. Reliv is available through distributors and has a great network of people who share stories and tips, like all the great moms on MamaSource! There are also some great books like "Everybody Poops" and others that explain about bowel movements and passing gas. Those might help - check with your children's librarian or the bookstore.

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B.L.

answers from Burlington on

Hi L., this exact thing happened to my son at that age and beyond. He would hold it forever. I'm trying to remember how we fixed it. hmmmmmmmm The best way is just to talk and talk to him softly saying that it's a natural thing and everyone does it. I'm sure you have already tried this. My son used to hold it for a week. Have you talked to your doctor? Finally, we took a suppository and put it up his butt, boy did he scream, but, it worked. You just have to remind him over and over and over that it's a good thing to poop. We all do it, eventually, he'll get it. He's just learning a new thing now and is very scared, as he should be. You may remind him that he used to poop in his diaper no problem, and the toilet is the same thing. I hope this helps. B.

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