Seeking Ways to Relate

I think it is great that your response to this knowledge was so positive. But you might want to talk to your hubby about the comment. I say this because you might not know the context that he said it in. You know sometimes guys start talking and he could have said it in agreement with another guy's previous comment sort of to just fit in the convo, but it might not be a serious issue to him. So since he said the comment to someone other than you it might be prudent to talk to him about it. It is just so easy to have problems when not enough info is known. Now if you literally heard all the conversation, start to finish then yeah, maybe he is wanting to broaden your conversation horizons. However I think that before you make any big changes talking this over with him and knowing what he meant and what he might be missing would be good. Plus if there is a problem with communication a little open communication couldn't hurt!! I only suggest this because if this isn't a big problem and then you make a lot of change he might not have a clue what is up with you, then if he doens't respond as you expect to your attempts to talk more you could get hurt, lots of possibility for more miscommunication! Best wishes and kuddos for wanting to be more in tune with your guy :)

CNN awesome thought, very humbling reaction! i like it.
Dates ( where no mention of kids should be for the first month at least i think.) you can talk about the past or about the future that usually gets memories or ideas going!
saturdays at least one thing together, but focus the conversation on you guys. (zoo, mall, museum)

you have a 2 month old though gosh.. thats a little rough to handle.. it took me 6 months with my second to even think about anyone else! try not to be too hurt by it..Im sure your doing great!!

N., you don't mention whether you and your husband have zero or some hours to your selves once in a while.

I also agree with Jen. Telling your husband what you heard and how that made you feel, at first blush, may bring him to expand on that situation. You may be surprised.

Recently my husband and I came to agree that we were centering our lives, and our marriage, around our children and jobs. It was harder when all three boys were under the age of 12. Now it's helpful to have the oldest be 14. We make dates again. We don't make it fancy or demanding, sometimes just something that gets us out of the house for a while.

Good luck.

Watching CNN is a good start. Also turn on NPR on the radio. They have great reports and stories. You could listen to this while you cook, or are doing your work. Do you get the daily paper? If not, whenever you take your son to the library or bookstore take a peek at the headlines, look over some articles in the news magazines. Our neighborhood library has an area where people drop off old magazines. They are free to whoever wants them. Pick up a few.

Ask your husband what the biggest news story of the day is. If you see a new business in the neighborhood, ask your husband what he knows about it. If you see a home for sale in the neighborhood while taking your stroll with the kids, grab the info sheet and keep up with the prices in your "hood".

If you are at the neighborhood playground, ask the other moms what the neighborhood association is up to. Pick up a Chronicle. They are free and have crazy articles as well as thorough local news stories.

Remember the internet is on 24 hours a day. Cnn.com, msnbc.com, foxnews.com, the local tv stations keep updated info on all day.

The more your children see you and your husband reading, the more they are also going to want to read.

If your husband reads a good article, have him tell you about it. Have him email it to you, have him cut it out and put it on your side of the bed so you can read it the next time you find it hard to fall asleep.

Hi N.,
I make it a point to keep myself immersed in current events, so I have something to talk about other than my children. I watch Fox business news, Bill O'Reilly (occasionally BBC world news) and listen to NPR. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kiddos to the moon, but it's nice to have adult conversations about substantive issues, especially with an election looming. I also read the Houston Chronicle. It keeps me current on the local news and my children see me reading, which promotes literacy. I ask my husband about his work and his interests. When we do have time together, we can usually talk about current events pretty well. That breaks the ice and leads to other topics of conversation. Good luck!

A couple times I have bought two copies of the same book so we could read our books simultaneously. Then you can discuss the book as you go through it... kind of like a mini book club for the 2 of you. Of course, it only works if you both have reading time available... (Because if he reads but you're running around with mommy duty, it will just stress you out about how far behind you are in reading and you'll never catch up in time to discuss it when its still a fresh topic for him.) And you have to be choosey about which book to "share" because you don't want anything too feminine (it will turn him off to the idea).

The most recent book we did is 'Replay' by Ken Grimwood. My husband really enjoyed it.

N., Good for you! I am so glad that you are acknowledging the problem and trying to fix it. Sometimes we have to give a little to keep our marriages happy and fulfilling.
I think your idea of keeping up with current events via CNN is a great start. The key is to find something that your hubbie is interested in and know enough to have a conversation - even if you don't know everything. For example, my hubbie is very up on the political stuff. I keep up with it just enough to say did you hear this blah blah blah. Sometimes he will bring it up and I just listen and ask question and sometimes challenge him on his thinking. Bottom line is we are communicating and having interesting adult conversations and sometimes debate issues.
If it's sports, or a specific team, same thing. Read the news paper to quiz him about team players or their most recent win/lose. Go to the team's web site etc. You don't need to be an expert but you need to know enought to carry on a conversation. You can even say, I read in the paper that blah blah blah and usually that will get him going. Sometimes I will get my hubbie going and he will vent for 30 minutes and all I have to do is nod and listen. But from his perspective, just having me listen and pay attention is communication.
Great job for trying to make a difference! Keep it up!

I think it sounds like you two need to make it a point to go on a "date" once or twice a month!
Another thing you could try is after the kiddos are asleep, find a show that both you and your hubby like, but something that might spark a discussion (my hubby and I like shows on the History channel and Discovery channel). This works especially well if you have DVR, so you can just pause the TV whenever you have a comment about the program!
Maybe you could also find some board/card games you both enjoy (Monopoly, Life, poker, etc.) and let the conversation flow. Or if you have some friends you get along with well, invite them over for a game night and play games like "Whonu?" which can reveal things about your hubby or friends you never knew! Great coversation starters!
I think you should also say something to your hubby like "I know we don't really talk much anymore, except about the kids, but they are a big part of our life, so it's hard not to want to share that with you!" Maybe he will understand a little more why you seem to always talk about them =) Especially with the new baby, I'm sure you want to share everything new that happens! Maybe once or twice a month you could sit down and set the timer for an hour or two and make a pact not to mention your children for that time frame...it might seem awkward at first, but after awhile you might be surprised at how much you have to say to each other
I've also found it works well to ask my hubby about his job...I have no clue what he's talking about most of the time LOL because he deals with computer stuff that I just don't understand! But he enjoys sharing it with me, and I pick out things to ask him more about later on
I'm not sure if this would be feasible for you, but is there a way you and your hubby could take a college class together or maybe a class offered by the city? Something fun that both of you would enjoy, but that way you could share that experience and be able to talk about it?
Hope this helps, I know how tough it can be though...after a whole day with my 2 little ones, seems all I have to say is how many messes I cleaned up so far LOL