Help Me Make Small Talk at Hubby's Work Function

Hello, I am John's wife! Ah and what do you do for the company? how long have you been with them?

Where are you from originally?
Wow, I have never been there. Were you born there? Do you get to back and visit?

John likes this about the company..

Ask them about themselves. That always works, I'm a major introvert and hate large gatherings like this, especially where I don't know or have much in common with the other guests. People love to talk about themselves, I use this skill often.

Those old pompous men might have beloved grandchildren...get them going about THAT and they won't shut up!

People LOVE to talk about themselves, so instead of thinking about what to say, do what talkstotrees said - ask them about themselves. If they're "old pompus professional men" as you say, all you'll have to do is nod, smile, say "mmmm", and "oh" and "really?", etc. at the appropriate times and you'll be fine. And when you reach your limit, talk to the spouses, etc. or hang with your hubby for a while. Good luck!

People love to talk about themselves, so ask lots of questions, how long have you been with the company? where do you live, where are you originally from, etc. Most of my "corporate chat" revolves around my kids, books I've read, local news/events and travel experiences.
Old people, as you call them, are usually pretty interesting, they've lived longer and had more experiences than you, and they have probably traveled and seen all kinds of things you've never seen. Open yourself up and have a good time!

I guess I would watch the attitude if you don't really know them. You are already degrading them by calling them old and pompous. And you make professional sound like a dirty word. How would you like it if they called you little lilly homemaker-ie boring housemom? Obviously your husband works with these people and someday if he sticks with the company-some other wife will be describing him like this.

Their families and animals, sports they might enjoy, the whole referee debacle in football should be good for a chat if they watch football. What does your husband enjoy? Your dad or father in law? What interests you (besides your kids)?

Ask about how long they have been with the company and show interest in their answers.

Go in with an open mind and no-no one wants to hear about little Johnny's spelling test. I wouldn't lead off with the moon thing either.

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Well-after reading yourSWH-at least you know you are a judgemental person and a little snobbish. Does it matter that his son is gay? And these people generously shared their ages with you-50 and 23 or were you estimating. Wouldn't it matter more if they were good people? And obviously, we people who work don't love our kids as much as you do. Enjoy your hangover.

Just ask them questions about themselves. Pompous old men can go on forever about golf. "John tells me you like to golf. Have you played anywhere interesting lately?" Some of them also hunt, fish, watch football (hey, there's always the ref lockout ending - everyone is happy about that). Just ask them what they like to do in their spare time, and then let them go on forever about it. Keep asking follow-up questions. They will do 99% of the talking, and walk away from it thinking you're a conversational genius.

I agree with TalkstoTrees strategy of drawing them out.
I also, personally, use the spouses as a buffer.

Old men or younger people-- you'll get a room full of personalities. Some people will be more forthcoming than others, some more friendly or tolerable than others.

and if you need a breather from a bad conversation, "Oh, excuse me, I need to call (the sitter, the kids) and check in" and go out into the lobby or hallway for a minute or two, then when you return, find a different group to join.

My guess is that there will be other wives and spouses who feel the same way you do. Just smile and be friendly. (My husband and I always go out for a drink after these functions and deconstruct the most amusing moments. It's become a game, in a way, and I don't dread these sorts of functions any more. It's all controlled folly, right? :) )

Ask them polite questions about themselves. You will learn enough to find common ground and if they are comfortable with you they will ask questions as well.
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Oh yeah, you may not want to go in there with an old pompous professional men attitude. You put up a wall I can assure you they will too.

I am an accountant, we are rather stereotyped. Most of the time I don't mind being open but I will only try to win someone over for so long. What I mean is if someone thinks I am a boring bean counter it comes through in what they say, their attitude. I may make a few jokes but if that isn't enough to get you to understand you got me all wrong, I am going to blow you off. That is not my failure to communicate, that is yours. Does that make sense?

Usually most people (esp. men) don't want to hear about you, anyway. So you don't need to talk. Just ask questions and smile. Compliment their ties. Eat and drink, a lot. You will probably just be silent and bored, most of the time.

By the way, studies have shown that people who ask questions, NOT people who talk about themselves or expound upon their opinions, are considered more intelligent and interesting by other people. So you don't ever have to say anything of interest, as long as you are asking questions about other people.

Like I said, drink. :)

Mary and Mamazita said it.

By the way -- don't be surprised if at the moment you tell people you are a "homemaker" or a "stay-at-home-mom," people's eyes glaze over and they walk away. That was my experience when I was a homemaker - even though I'm actually fascinating. :)

(LOL "old people, as you call them." Go Mamazita!)

No, you don't need to compliment their ties. Ask these people about their work. Ask them about why they like what they do (assuming that they like it). Ask them about any interesting people they've met. Ask them what the best part of their work is. If they bring up the subject of their home life, ask them about their families. People LOVE to have an opportunity to talk about themselves!

I do not enjoy business socializing, but it is a necessary part of my job. What I've found is that keeping up on sports helps a lot. Men of all ages can go on and on about sports. Choose a favorite team -- and it does NOT have to be the home team, just have a reason WHY you like the team if it isn't the home team. Be able to discuss the current stats. Did you know that the Cincinnati Reds pitcher pitched a NO HITTER last night?!? I think it was 24 years coming...his name escapes me, somethihng like "Homer." So, for tonight, read the sports page before you go.

Ask or expect: Are you originally from Ohio? People of either gender like to talk about where they're from and like to ask others. A lot of times, you can find common ground in places you've lived or traveled.

Ask or expect: What do you like to do in your spare time? It's fine to mention the kids and then add, "but I also like to ______ when I have time" (read, travel, exercise). People of all ages and genders can share info on favorite books, favorite places to travel, dream places to travel, next trip planned, types of exercise enjoy, which healthclub belong to, fitness goal of a half-marathon/triathalon/improving health.

Old pompous men tend to also like to talk about wine (which tends to bore me a bit). If you know a bit about wine, that's great. If not, just smile and nod.

One thing to keep in mind is that when you walk away from the conversation you should have learned a little bit about them, but they also should have learned a little bit about you, too.

I attend many such events, and I am the SAHM, which is quite the conversation stopper.

I always talk about food: restaurants, favorite local restaurants, favorite downtown restaurants, off the beaten path restaurants, ethnic foods, what did their families eat growing up, do they cook the same foods, why or why not?....I could talk forever about food.

In addition to avoiding religion and politics, I have added 'Parents' to the list....everyone's fighting something and it usually ties into conflicts with their parents.

Have fun! And Smile!

READ!! Start reading or watching news stories. Find out about what is going on in your area, nation and world. If you get stumped for topics you can say something like Did you see the article on.... Or I heard on CNN that .... you can talk about your city is building a new school, new shoppping center, I'd stay away from the economy it's a sore subject for most people. Ask what they like to do for fun golf, baseball, football. Ask if they ever took a cruise and where they went ect. Usually once you get them talking they will continue. But it's nice to be somewhat informed so you can make comments.

Updated

READ!! Start reading or watching news stories. Find out about what is going on in your area, nation and world. If you get stumped for topics you can say something like Did you see the article on.... Or I heard on CNN that .... you can talk about your city is building a new school, new shoppping center, I'd stay away from the economy it's a sore subject for most people. Ask what they like to do for fun golf, baseball, football. Ask if they ever took a cruise and where they went ect. Usually once you get them talking they will continue. But it's nice to be somewhat informed so you can make comments.

Offshore bank accounts?
Tax shelters & loopholes?

Seriously, ask questions--colleges their kids go to, their golf game, etc.

People are people. No matter their price tag.

I have YET to meet a grandparent that doesn't have an interest in their grandchildren or a parent that doesn't like to talk about their children's accomplishments.

You might ask who "that person" is regarding the company.
Don't judge based on who you think did and didn't "raise their kids"!

Ask them about themselves and when that dies down talk about current events. Make sure you read the papers and watch the news before you go.

I find that at these types of functions, they generally like to talk about themselves. So, ask your husband for a little information on these fellows... Does one like to golf? Does another enjoy boating, etc...If so, comment on that, etc... Ask questions, basically... If you ask a question, they will talk, and you act very interested and comment on what they are talking about. So, you are basically making them do all the work! lol

You are making a lot of negative assumptions about people you hardly know and have already convinced yourself it will be uncomfortable. Guess what? You will get exactly what you give.

May I suggest that you tweak your attitude a bit, in a more positive direction?

If it is a big party, you can walk to get a drink and then stand around some large group that is talking and sort of become one of the group. I find that I walk from group to group and listen for a while, and if there is an interesting topic I will stay and offer an opinion when there is an opening to do so. Often you can spend the whole party sort of just listening with a smile and the occasional nod and not say a whole lot.
If it is a small gathering (that I prefer) conversations often start off with 2 people talking and others chiming in, or you just talk to the person you sit next to. What I hate the most is really small parties (a few couples) where 2 people will talk loudly about a topic I have no interest in but it seems rude to start a side conversation with my neighbor since they seem interested.
But listening is indeed the best skill in work party environments, and asking about their interests to find a common one you enjoy talking about. If that happens to be the kids, I am sure there will be other moms at the party who feel the same.

You are right - religion. politics and money - are not safe topics.
Traffic and weather are safe.
Ask them about themselves - nothing too personal.
What's your favorite type of Christmas cookie or Thanksgiving side dish can get you some interesting answers.

It's just a different way of thinking and being and we have to step into that la la land now and again....discuss art and any museums, travel and vacation destinations, wine, exotic or favorite foods, restaurants, decor and re-decorating the home. The olympics, tennis...US Open, sports if you know of anything...especially the Greenbay Packers-Seattle Seahawks debacle last Monday Night. You can google it and prepare. Good luck!

I can relate. I am a friendly person but I am not terribly socially outgoing. I am reserved in that I "feel" out my surroundings and wait until I hear something that is interesting enough to add my input. I've always been this way, I cannot imagine changing this aspect about myself. I am also a stay at home mommy and my life is about my children and my faith is also very central. I generally sit quietly by myself until spoken to. I generally don't initiate some outgoing conversation with the person next to me at an event such as what you are describing. Sometimes just a friendly smile at someone initiates them to say something and that gets a conversation going. I also don't like to be fake so I can understand what you are talking about.

I am a SAHM. Though recently I now work part time.
My Hubby works in the corporate world.
I/we have been to many company functions, at which there were always MANY tiers and levels of people.
Some nice, some stuck up.
So what.
I just talk to them as a human.
I don't bring them home with me.
It is just for a couple of hours.
I just talk about anything... that pops up into my head.
But I can make small talk... without irking someone's religion or politics.
And I am sincere about it. Thus, I don't have to worry about embarrassing my Husband, per work or his Boss's impressions of the Spouses.
Because, sometimes these things are very important and can be like a review or indicate further success in the company or not.

It is not about being "fake."
I am myself at these functions.
When I make small talk, I mean it. Thus I am not faking it. I am, present. And feeling it as I talk.
Actually, I am better at making conversation at these things than my Hubby is. So he never worries.
And the day after, well Hubby tells me "they all liked you."

First of all..........Be yourself. If you go in trying to fake it, it will be obvious... Be your lovely Lilly self!!

Don't assume that the wives had no interest in raising their children and that their children and grandchildren are simply trophies...

Talk about everyday topics... what college did you go to, do you follow the sports teams of the college, do you play golf, how old are your children, what are they interested in, etc....

Ask questions... people love to talk about themselves.

You'll do just fine. let us know how it went... I hope it is not as stiff as you already perceive it will be.

Thank Goodness that I am now divorced and don't have to do this anymore. Oh, I hated it too.

Rather than worrying about what to say to your hubby's work associates, can you talk to their spouses, instead? You might be more comfortable.....