Seeking Support at 37 Weeks Pregnant and Waiting!

Dear K.- If there's any possible way your family can afford it, YES it would be reasonable and helpful for you to take some time off before your next baby comes. Even simply from a health perspective, it doesn't make sense to work right up until your due date. You need time to settle in, nest, spoil your son and yourself a little before things get to a whole new level of busy-ness! If your co-workers don't understand, ask your doctor or midwife to write a letter saying that they recommend you cut back or stop working soon. Best of luck...
M.
(midwife)

Definitely take the time off!! If you are tired and need some time just to "be" and get ready for this next phase of life, do it!! Your co-workers may not get it now, but hopefully someday they will remember that you helped set a precedent about taking care of one's self. Good luck and congratulations in advance!

i agree with some other posts definatly try to at least cut back,even if its a few hrs off each day,that will be a big help!I seriously dont know how u do it!Hang in there,and please try to take more time for yourself!!

Take some time off before the new baby comes!!!!! PERIOD. Stop wondering what anyone thinks. This is your last few weeks alone with your boy and you need time to put your feet up and feel relaxed before labor. Who cares what anyone else thinks! Also, have you thought about going part-time once the baby arrives? If you're feeling guilty now, you'll probably feel even worse going back to work when your new baby is only 6 weeks old! (And sleep deprived, I'm sure!) Look at your finances and see if you can make it work. My husband and I sold a car, downgraded our expenses, etc. for me to stay home. Maybe that will also give you less stress and enable you to really enjoy the time at home with your miracles. Please, don't feel guilty about being tired. I'm only 27 weeks with baby #2 and I'm tired!!! Good luck!

Hi K.,

I don't think you are at all crazy for wanting to take some time off before your next baby is born. You deserve that and most of all you NEED that time. Believe me, I had tried with my first to take 2 weeks off before she was born and literally she came two days after I took that time ha-ha, so take advantage if you can of any opportunity to rest up a bit before baby #2 comes into the world...you'll be so thankful that you did. Also, you are not wrong for feeling beat, I am able to stay at home with my girls now, but remember what it was like to run from here and there and try to get everything done...at the end of it all, you sit down and are exhausted. Try to just relax and remember, you are not given anything you can not handle and it will all work out in the end. Best of luck with your family and your soon to come addition.

Hi K.
I did it too. Its so hard to work while pregnant so you should look into the maternity laws that are in effect now. I believe in MA we can take 12 weeks off for the birth or adoption of a child. It doesn't matter if it starts before the the baby is born or not. The company may only pay for 6 weeks maternity leave but you can take 12 weeks.
The only exception would be for small businesses with less than 50 emplyoees. Thats where I got screwed. they didn't have to hold my job but it was a nursing home so they were always looking for help anyway so I got my job back. The same would go if you work retail.
Take the time you need and don't worry about anybody not aproving of it. Its your baby and your decision.

Do you have short term disability insurance through your job? They will pay a little for maternity leave (it's not much, but every penney counts). At least you could feel like you could take some more time with a little income coming in. It won't get easier once the baby is born. Two little kids and working as much as you do is going to be tough. Can you go part time or cut your hours down a little?

You're not a complainer! You're exhausted!

On some level, we all go thru this, although you have extra demands because your husband isn't around much on a helpful schedule. You absolutely MUST take care of yourself! It doesn't matter whether the people at work "get this" or not - just take the time! Family leave is a guaranteed right - by law. Don't worry about helping them understand or trying to defend yourself against accusations of "wimpiness" - I guarantee most of them couldn't do half what you are doing! I wouldn't engage in too much debate or too much explanation of why you need it - you just do it. Get your doctor involved if necessary - the emotional stress and lack of rest cannot be good for you.

You absolutely must get some rest, and some sleep - they are different things and you need both. Can your husband take on some of the bill-paying or other tasks that don't have to be done at home or at a particular hour of the day? Can you just forget about household chores like vacuuming and let it wait? Can you afford to drop the laundry at laundromat and let someone else wash/dry/fold? Can you afford one of those supermarket shopping services, even just for a few months? How about all those relatives and friends who say, "Let me know if I can do anything" - or did they appear during the first pregnancy and disappear this time??!! Are you sending out vibes to everyone that you are super-competent and you don't want to admit you need a break? Can you ask for help?

You need time NOW as well as when the baby is born. If you do leave work for a while, consider leaving your child in daycare or whatever, on the same schedule (or at least a partial schedule), so that you actually REST - you may need to sleep in the day time now, since it's hard to sleep 8 hours in the last month of pregnancy - no comfortable positions, the baby keeps moving, and so on. And your child needs consistency and stability. You need to be able to read a book, take a nap, go to a movie, have lunch with a friend, or just veg out. You deserve it!

You are the most important person, both for the sake of the child you have and the one you are expecting.

TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED!!!! I think it makes total sense to do what you can to rest before the new baby comes. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty! You know what your body and baby needs!

tell a white lie - say that your doctor said you need to stop working. Or call your doctor and I bet they would be happy to give the ok. your mental health is important too. If you get the chance to rest a little before the baby comes, you'll have just that much more energy to give to the baby.

I knew I wasn't going back to work after I had my baby so I went down to part time a couple of months before my due date. It really helped a ton.

Good luck!

You absolutely should take two weeks off! You need the break-- Will your son continue at daycare while you are home with the baby? If so, keep him in his groove of daycare and just take the two weeks to get the house in order, some casseroles in the freezer, etc.! Otherwise, keep him in daycare a couple of days a week for now and take those days totally to yourself...(Being at home w/ a 17 mo. old all day is no easier than going to work!!) You need to think about yourself. It may be a hard conversation to have with your boss, but I would just be as honest as you can be...like that other poster said, I think you, by law, get more than 6 weeks, it's just that you only get 6 weeks paid.

I have a 17 mo. old and am preggo w/ no 2 due in Feb. and am working two days a week and am exhausted! Fortunately, I'm teaching at a college and will be ending in Dec, so I'll have about 6 weeks before the baby comes. I'll be home with my daughter most of that time, but will be continuing to send her to daycare 1 day per week just to give me some time to do things around the house, etc.

Not to get on a soapbox, but I think society puts demands on us that we need to let go of and ignore sometimes. Your natural instincts are to want some rest right now and probably to do some "nesting" etc. As women we were created to have children and with that comes natural instincts, desires, etc. Your body is telling you that you need a break before life gets even crazier! My personal opinion is that work gets in the way of those desires sometimes and that we need to do what is best for us!

Hi K.,
Have you considered working 1-3 days a week before the baby is born to ensure a smooth transition while you're on leave? Also, would your employer allow you to work from home a couple days a week or cut back on the number of days you work when you return? Perhaps these options would be a compromise that both you & your employer could live with.
Good luck,
R.

my goodness TAKE A BREAK LADY!!! Haha, its only going to get harder when your baby is born. Take sometime for yourself, and enjoy the last few weeks (maybe) that you have with your son and rare times you have with your husband. Your job will be there for you when youre ready to go back. It's not healthy for you or your baby to have so much on your plate. I honestly look up to mothers like you. I am a 21 yr old stay at home mom, and gosh, i think i have it rough. I couldn't imagine doing all that. I can hardly find time to take a shower or do laundry with just one child and NO JOB! I don't know how you do it. I don't know how to give you advice on how to relax without scraping some of that off your plate, at least for now. Stay home, take your son to the park while we still have a few nice weather days left, read a book, take a bath, maybe go out with some friends you havent seen in a while, a nice movie with your husband if you can grab the chance. Good luck to you

Does your doctor know how much stress this is for you. maybe you can get a doctor order to be put out of work a week early or even just part time hours for the last week. When I was working & pregnant with my 1st & only child I drove an hour to get to work & worked 8-5. he felt it was too much so close to my due date and gave doctor orders to be put out of work a week early.

Take the time off you need. Especially if you are only taking 6 weeks off. Your son is going to have a hard time adjusting at first to the new baby, so I'd spend as much time as I could with him. I have 3 children and my first 2 were only 15 mos apart and I would definitely get as much time with your son as possible. Also, try to get some rest. You won't get it when the new baby is born. Don't worry what other people think. Like you said, they're not parents and don't know what you're going through. Good luck and congratulations

Hi K.. congrats! I worked full time with second son and actually had him 3.5 weeks before my maternity leave was scheduled to start. I don't think there is anything wrong with you wanting to start your leave a few weeks before your baby gets here. It will be good for you to have some alone time with your son, get everything ready, and relax before baby gets here. It stinks that people you work with don't get it I'm thankful that I worked with wonderful people that helped me out a lot towards the end of my pregnancy. Good luck and relax take a break.

Wow! That is alot.There are alot a moms doing this me included but not while 37 weeks pregnant!You are not asking alot at all.If you can you should absolutely take 8 weeks total.People without kids and sometimes people with grown kids don't understand.You need to breath and enjoy any alone time you can get with your son before the baby comes.Good luck. T.

Hi K., I am in a very similar work/baby situation as you. I'm not pregnant with our 2nd... yet... but I fear exactly what you are going through. Coworkers without children are typically not understanding. I suggest starting to cut down your hours at work now. Start working half days or something. You can tie up loose ends at work, prepare your coworkers for your absence, and have more time for yourself! It's hard to juggle everything. When you don't have a choice though you just have to keep pushing and try to make the best out of it! Hang in there! I wish you the best!

I dont' know how you are doing it. I am 37weeks 4 days as of today with a 21 month old and a 3 year old. There is no way i could be working right now AND taking care of the kids AND the house. I am exausted both mentally and physically. Sometimes i feel like i can't even take care of my own children i'm such a mess -- and i don't work!

So no. you are not asking too much to take time off now -- and anyone ANYONE who can't understand is just stupid. Heck doign what you are doing is exausting even when you are NOT pregnant!

Good luck.

For what it's worth, I stayed at work because I also felt pressure. Then my last day of work (39 weeks) I went into labor and they said, well, that project you were trying to finish? Maybe it doesn't really have to be done before you go.

I could have killed them.

I wish I had just left earlier. I never got time alone at home before the baby, and I was exhausted. And I had pre-eclampsia too, so I really did have some problems.

My advice, stand up for what you need.

Good luck!

People without kids definitely don't understand! In fact they treat you as if you are abnormal for even wanting even one, let alone two, kids. Weird! Anyway! You should definitely take some time off before the delivery. And after I would say take 8 weeks off. Personally I felt ready, physically, to go back to work after 6 weeks but I work part-time and even then it was hard to leave the baby three times a week! I am not sure what your company policy is, but is telecommuting an option. It's just so hard to leave a small baby and go back to work that soon. In Europe they get much longer maternity leaves, between 3 and 9 months!