My ex-wife is not returning my old album which contains my pictures from my birth till I met her by claiming that she threw it away. It contains none of her pictures. I do not believe her story of throwing it away because she is not that crazy. I have been asking for it for the last 23 years by begging her and telling her that I will do anything she wants for it. Please tell me what I can do to have her return my most precious thing.
Sorry to say, I think she did throw it away. It wouldn't take someone to be crazy to toss an ex-husband's photo album. It only takes a second to drop them into the trash, to be gone forever. She could've done this a LONG time ago. I know the album is special to you, and I wish I had a more positive idea to share with you.
Dear Y.,
After 23 years, your chances of ever getting your precious album back is slim. You need to pray for peace and resolution for yourself and for her. It may not change her one bit, but it will change you. Forgiveness is very transformative. After 10 years, my ex-daughter-in-law finally returned my son's baby pictures. I wrote to her in a loving way for all these years and she spontaneously returned them. (I hadn't specifically asked for them.)
Good luck!
If you have been trying to get this back for this long I'm not sure you will be able to get her to return it. Sounds like she might be a bit spiteful. Hopefully she will find it in herself to give it back. Don't mean to sound negative. Good luck!
C.
offer her $ for it...
Do you have kids, or are you on good terms with her parents, or are your parents on good terms with her? Maybe they can find out about it and tell you if she truely has it or if she did throw it away on a really bad day. Good luck!
It will be so hard for her to admit she has it, after all these years. You have to make it easy for her to admit, don't make her defensive, and make her think it is her idea to finally return. Daunting task when you're up against someone who sounds so bitter. Do you have any family members that could talk to her? It contains their memories, too. I'm so sorry...
wow, that's a tough one. If you have kids, tell her you would like to have the photos back so that you can make a photo album for your kids.
Good luck!
I'm sorry to hear that. If she does still have it, she must have an odd attachement to it. If I were in your position, I'd ask her to meet you at CVS and make copies of the pictures...if for some reason she still wants to hold on to them. Then give her the copies and take your original album. The whole thing sounds a little quirky to me, but don't make her feel silly or embarrased for taking the copies. You must be a pretty special person if, even after the divorce and all those years, she still wants to hold on to a piece of you. Good luck!
Do you have kids together? If so, you could ask one of the kids to find out if she REALLY threw it away. Maybe they could tell her that they wanted it for the pictures... I don't know, money should surely work too given the economy! Would it be possible to ask another family member to act as a liason on your behalf? She may not like you enough to give it to you but maybe another person she might be more friendly to. Or maybe this is karma catching up to you after all these years. You must have really pissed her off! Do you have something of hers that you could trade her for the album? Try making amends & maybe she will have a change of heart. Good luck!
Threaten her with legal action for witholding your personal and irreplacable property... does your divorce papers say anything about personal property? 23 years is a long time to withhold it, has she moved at all in those 23 years? If so, she very well might have thrown it away.
well, bud... 23 years and still you have received your photo albumn. i bet she's missed placed it. have you gotten a search warrant? good luck.
I agree with several people;
A. try asking her family to help you get it back
b. copies were a great idea
c. lawyer and court, divorce decree... if they rule in your favor, they may let you put a value on it and maybe the cash threat will force her hand?
I will pray for you.
lawyer up. sue her in small claims.
documents are readily available at the court house and they will walk you through.
I like the idea however of going through a relative to see if they can't commandeer the thing.
And if it's been that long since you've seen it...I might try counseling...to learn how to let go.
They do not define who you are...or who you will become.
Hmmmm Not that crazy?? Sounds like she just might be if she hasn't returned it in 23 years...Don't think you'll get it back unless you legally try...Only then will you know if it still exist!
Hopefully you haven't given up on a response. First of all, I really would not hold my breath that she really kept it this long. What could you do to get even if she had thrown it away.
If you had children by this woman, have children now by someone else & she has children by someone else, appeal to her for the sake of the children. After all they deserve pictures of their parents.
If there was any family member who seemed to connect to her from your family or someone you connected with from her family or mutual friends might intercede.
Otherwise, just try to get copies of the pictures that family & friends have.
Exes can be very vindictive & do anything & everything to hurt their ex.
Looks like prayer may be your only hope. B.
Give up on her. Instead contact family aunts/uncles etc. and retrieve photos from them. We had a fire that took our photos but we were surprised at the photos we'd shared with friends/family that they were willing to return to us. Good luck.
Ha!!! Money might work!
Seriously didn't your divorce decree specify what you should get? Did it spell out personal photos and albums? If it did you should contact an attorney to see what you have do do at this late date to make her comply with the legal document. If it is specified in the divorce, I believe she is in contempt of court.
Good luck, Pal. Divorce is the pitts, huh?
D.
Unfortunately, it sounds like this is her way of having some control over your life and getting her "revenge" for whatever pain the seperation from you has caused her. Like you said- you've been BEGGING for 23 years and will do WHATEVER SHE WANTS to get it back. She's using this as leverage for control. I think one of two things is your only chance, and even they may not work: 1. You take her power away by dropping the subject. You can simply say, you know how important this is to me, but I'm not wasting my time any more trying to get you to give it back. If you want it that bad, you can have it. I'm not asking for it any more; you know how much I want it, but it's not worth any more of my time or effort to try to get it. You know how to reach me if you ever want to come clean and return it, and I really hope some day you do. Goodbye. OR 2. You seek legal counsel and see what your options are for legally forcing her to return personal property. Sorry you've lost something so valuable to you. Hopefully she'll care enough about the past you shared to give you that part of your life back.
