Seeking Parental Advice on Discipline for a 6 Y/o

I think that you should talk to him about what will happen at school if he continues behaving like that. Let him know that if he doesn't stop he will be seperated from the other kids and there will be nothing "mom" can do to change it. Then if he keeps it up maybe the seperation will change his attitude and he will stop. Good Luck!

It sounds as if your son is feeling like he's lost control of his environment. This is a very difficult emotion to articulate for a 6-year-old, so rather than talking about it, they tend to act out against classmates and authority figures.

You might try finding out what it is about his classroom situation that makes him feel uncomfortable. Talk to his teacher. Is the schoolwork too difficult for him? Is he being bullied by a classmate or someone on the bus? Once you establish what is upsetting him, he will be better prepared to deal with the situation when it comes up. Even your son may be unaware of the source of the problem.

Stay strong and supportive, but remain consistent in your punishments. Regardless of the reason behind his acting-out, he must understand that this behavior is unacceptable.

Best of luck to you.

Hi Nicole,

I am not sure you'll like my advise but I'll offer it up anyway! My first impression is that your son is going through a jealousy phase. He is the 1st to last 'baby'. At some point he was getting all of the attention. Now he has 4 other siblings to compete with for attention. Sometimes that attention is negative. When a child is "punished" for being less than good, (i hate to say bad) they are receiving attention, and at the time it doesnt matter whether it is positive or negative attention,..it's attention. I would suggest to stop the negative "punishing". He will see at some point that he will not get anything from it. Point out whenever he does something good, this goes for all of your children. When they see that you are noticing the good and not giving any attention for the bad, you encourage good behavior. It is hard, but it can be done. I cant imagine the chaos of having 5 children and keeping everyone satisfied when it comes to attention. You could probably use a break yourself! Just a little you time to recooperate so your ready for tomorrow! Good luck!

Hi Nicole, how are you? I guess I would want a little more information.
How long have you been married?
Is the 6 year old your child or stepson?
Has there been a change in the 6 year old's life?
Once all questions are asked and answered to fill in the blanks. The process of illimination that something has not happen to cause this behavior.

Talk to your son and let him know it is tough being 6 and going to school. Try to get him to open up and let you know what is bothering him. Just listen and try to put the pieces together. Is he overwhelmed with the growth of his family, is he feel a little left out? I am not telling you what is happening is right. What was your 6 year old like last year in school? and what has changed? Maybe he is being picked on in school and defending himself. The responses are endless unless there is more information. Good luck. B.

Sounds like it's time to get a copy of this book (you can get it for $11.44 including shipping on Overstock.com):

The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander
by Barbara Coloroso

Overview:
It's a deadly triad: bullies who terrorize, bullied kids who are afraid to tell, bystanders who watch, participate, or look away, and adults who dismiss the incidents as a normal part of childhood. Drawing on her decades of work with youth, this practical book by bestselling parenting educator Barbara Coloroso explains: The three kinds of bullying; and the differences between boy and girl bullies. Four abilities that protect your child from succumbing to bullying. Seven steps to take if your child is a bully. How to help the bullied child heal and effectively discipline the bully. How to evaluate a school's antibullying policy and much more.
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I'm sure that your son's behavior is due to some underlying need that's not being met - as parents, we get to play detective and figure that out, because then we can deal with the problem at it's source. I know it's hard on *both* of you right now, and I wish you the best of luck in figuring this out quickly and in a way that strengthens your relationship. Easier said than done, I know! Hang in there!

N.,
Does your 6 yr old have a learning disability, giftedness or something that would cause frustration at school?

For example, my son is "gifted" as the school testing put it. For years we had some social/behavioral issues....nothing MAJOR but enough to cause concern. He had trouble cooperating with simple things and would fight authority... Upon reaserch I found this is NORMAL for very bright students.

He was getting in trouble in 1st grade last year because he was bored. Talking, acting like a clown, etc... which is also a normal behavior. It helped up to be told he was "gifted" because it has helped us seek alternative discipline and helps us understand him better.

It seems that both ends of the spectrum have issues being addressed at school. So this may or may not be a source of frustration.

Or maybe there is another kid bothering him, that is causing him problems and his lack of experience tells him to act out this way.

I hope this at least gets you thinking outside the box. Don't let anyone tell you he is a bad kid or a problem. This is a behavior...NOT your kid.

Blessings.
M.

Yes, stay consistant on the punishment / discipline! Maybe the consequences need to be even tougher....Instead of like no TV for the day do No TV for the week...or 2 weeks!...same with telephones or computer games. Also ground him from after school soccer or football if he plays a sport....big guys get benched for poor conduct all the time. Make the punishment match to something that would be aa real loss for him. If he's watching a bunch of movies or shows that show lots of martial arts, rough housing or other violence, maybe think about curtailing that at least for a while. He can watch that stuff when he shows self control and maturity. You don't say if there is a reason for his behavior...Is he mad?...Does something trigger it? Is he horsing around and it's accidental? He needs to find other ways to work out his anger...other than by hurting kids. PROPER and STRUCTURED Karate / Tae Kwan Do lessons might be beneficial. The instructors are good at working with kids on aggression, self discipline and appropriateness. Good luck....P.

Hey there,
take him out of school, ? if he really wants to be there, he'll straiten back up, I home school my son, OHVA, check it out, got to nip it now, good luck, J