"Seeking Moms Who Have Lost a Child"

No loss of a child is easy. My friend lost her daughter to SIDS when she was a week old. She said you are welcome to contact her ____@____.com Her name is Linda...she's wonderful!

Sorry for you loss. Hugs,
H.

Dear C.,
I am a mom who has lost a child. It was a different loss than yours in many ways, but the loss of a child is indescribably unbearable any which way that it happens. I lost my 21 year old daughter in a tragic accident 13 months ago. If anyone happened to catch the stories about the fires near Boston University, you heard about my daughter. Dealing with this has been the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. Mostly I feel I am going on with my life only for my other two daughters...to try to make their lives better, or at least bearable. In response to an earlier post: yes, I am thankful for my other two children, BUT it does not lessen the pain of losing my precious daughter...nothing does!! It is INDESCRIBABLY UNBEARABLE.
But, C., I have found great support in The Compassionate Friends, local chapter meetings and especially the online chat sessions. They are online every night. There are new people almost every night unfortunately, but also some who have been on for years. They're from all over the country and even other countries. It is eye-opening, sometimes intense, but somehow very helpful to share experiences. I live on Cape Cod and there are two local chapter meetings per month near me, but if you go on the compassionate friends.org you can get info for groups everywhere in the country, the online chat sessions, regional and national conferences, etc.
I know there are other bereavement groups run by hospice and other groups maybe connected to hospitals. I have not attended those. I have seen a therapist for myself, but connecting with other bereaved parents through compassionate friends has helped the most besides my incredibly supportive extended family. Our online chat group is also connected to a msn group where you can send emails, post pics if you want, etc. It's more like a blog than a live chat.
C., I understand about your feelings of isolation even when you're with friends or a large group of people. I think it feels like being in a foreign country where they speak a different language from you. You have to learn a whole new normal because the one you knew before is gone. I'm very sorry for your loss...If you want any more information, just let me know and I'll try to help.
Take care,
D. M

C.,
I am very sorry for your loss. I have had 5 miscarriages, two of which were late term and came very close to losing my little preemie last year. Her twin brother was one of the babies we lost. Though he passed away at 15 weeks I had to continue to carry him until my daughter's birth. I realize that losing a child after a year is much different than at birth, but if you need to talk you can feel free to contact me.

I find it wonderful that your husband has been such an amazing support to you! I hope you are able to find the support you need from other women in this difficult time.

wishing you all the best!
A.

Hi C.,

I am sorry for your loss. I too lost a child. She would be 17 years old if she was still with us. She passed away at 4 1/2 months old. She was born premature (2lbs 9oz) and stayed in the hospital a couple months after her birth. She was at home with us for just a couple months and died from SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). It's a long journey after loosing a child and good that you have an amazing support system. I still miss her and think of her often. If you ever need anyone to talk to I am here.

C.,
I am so sorry for your loss of your daughter. My heart broke when I read your story. I don't have any resources, although I would like to add you and your family to my prayers. It sounds like your trying to surround yourself with supportive, positive people, at work etc.

My prayers are with you-

I'm so sorry for your loss C.. I have not lost a child myself but wanted to say that your strength amazes me. I do, though, have a friend who lost a child due to an undiagnosed neurological disorder at age 2. I can ask her if she does any online support groups etc or if she would be interested in talking with you mom to mom. Please send me a private message with your email and I'll ask her and let you know.

(((((((((Hugs)))))))))) to your entire family.

I cannot begin to understand what you and your family are going through but have recommended this resource to many families dealing with the death of a loved one. I have heard nothing but wonderful things about it and the amazing staff that work there. It's also a nice place that includes your 5 year old as an important part of the family, which she is. Please check out Pete's Place in Dover, NH. Here is some more info: http://www.wdhospital.com/services/more_services/ppgriefs...

I am sorry to hear about your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through. I have not lost a child however my best friend lost her 6 month old son in January of this year. He was a happy healthy little boy and ended up dying while at childcare. If you would like for me to ask if it is ok yo give you her email address I can do that for you. I feel so terrible for her and don't know what to say or do. We were both pregnant at the same time just 3 months apart. We both had little boys. She was planning on moving from Virginia up to Maine so of course we had tons of plans for our little men.
Let me know if you would like me to give you her email address and I will ask her for you. Again I am so sorry for you and your family.

My best friend lost a baby at birth and while talking about it to a neighbor I found out about a group who meets in Norwood. I can't remember the name of the organization but I do remember they had two groups that meet. One for parents of still born babies and another for parents who lost children of all ages. I called St Mary's Church in Wrentham and they pased my name onto the founder of the group. She contacted me and sent me their brochure to pass on to my friend. Call St. Mary's church at ###-###-####. They can get you in touch with the support group. If for some reason they can't help, let me know and I'll see if my friend still has the brochure.
My deepest sympathy on the loss of your little angel.
T.

Hi C.,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please visit the web page I've included at the end of this message. It is the legacy of a little girl, Olivia 'Lulu' Pyne. Lulu died at 4 yrs old moments after her father stopped video taping her as she danced under a rainbow during a light summer shower. There is a contact email address there. Please write to this amazing family. I know them personally, and I know they will reach out to you. Check out the entire page - their whole story is there, along with beautiful pictures of their family.
Visit http://www.lulubellebooks.com/index.htm

Best wishes to you & your family.

C.,

Sending hugs your way...Please accept my condolences over the loss of your daughter.

Have you explored the group called Compassionate Friends? They are a support group for parents who have suffered through the loss of a child...

Best wishes and stay strong ;0

Hi C.,
I am so sorry for your loss. Please go on line to Griefshare.org. It is a Christian grief site that has information on bereavement groups that are running or scheduled and also I believe a place to connect with people who are also grieving. Take your time, grieving is a process that you have to "get through" there is no going around it, or doing it in anybody's elses time frame but yours. God Bless.

Just remember that our children belongs to God who lets us borrow them for a while,when HE takes HE always give you something in return, which in your case ,you have another child and also a wonderful husband,which you should be thankful for.As for the child you lost she is watching over you as your Angel.I also know it is very difficult to loose a child ,a loved one,Praise the Lord for giving you anotherchild,a good husband and a great job.My prayers are with you.

M. A,

Are you in the MetroWest area? I have a list of local support groups/resources for moms who have lost a pregnancy, infant or child.
You can send me a personal message with your email if you would like the list.
I am sorry for you loss,
D.
Bereavement Support Coordinator
WSCMMOTA

Dear C.,

My friend Holly forwarded me your post, with the heading, "A Mother Needs Your Help". Well, when I read your post, I immediately felt every heavy, as well as hopeful word you wrote. You were brave to ask for assistance.
I lost my daughter Leanna at one week old on April 9, 1999, of SIDS. So, this time of the year is particularly raw for me. However, it never seems to fail that there is always some kind of "sign" (or, at least that is how I interpret them) that her spirit is with us. Your post was a reminder of how important it is to keep upholding faith and support for others.

The resources that were very helpful for me were:
1. Counseling~ Although I went under duress, it was the most overall beneficial step I took in healing and growing as a person. I went to some sessions alone, some with my husband.
2. The Massachusetts Center for SIDS~ I realize your daughter did not die of SIDS, but they also run a child and infant loss program.
3. Journaling~ poignant, sometimes very painful, but also a great way to remember and release your feelings.
4. Finding your own special ways of remembering and commemmorating the life and spirit of your child. We planted a tree. We made a flower garden with an engraved rock reading "Leanna's Garden". I'm not a gardener at all, but somehow toiling away in the dirt, in the sun, planting pretty flowers, and just having quiet moments to cry,and create a special area for her made me feel like I was doing something. Our family and some friends also walk the SIDS Walk in Hingham every September to grieve, laugh, and celebrate her, as well as the life and family we now have (I have two simply awesome daughters, ages 6 & 7, that fill my heart. They know all about their sister, their guardian angel, and know that she'll always have her special place in our family. They also know, even when I'm mad at them, I am so grateful and blessed to have been given the chance to be their Mom.)
Christine, allow yourself to feel sad and grieve, and also take heart in reading all these very warm, real posts of those who have lost children and yet still somehow manage to find solace and "live". We will never forget. In some ways, although I certainly wish that it never happened, I would not be the person I am today without having faced and gone through this tragedy. It gives you an enormous appreciation of life, priorities, perspective, and an unwaivering, solid sense of faith. My heart is with you, Christine.

L. B.

The national group for parents who've lost a child is called Compassionate Friends, and they have a website at http://www.compassionatefriends.org That site can probably direct you to your local chapter. I urge you to attend a meeting. You are not alone. Take care, C..
K.

I know a great website that would help...it's called daily strength and they have help sites for people who have lost children due to all kinds of things. BELIEVE me it would be worth your time to check it out. here is the website address...www.dailystrength.org. Hope you find it useful and helpful.

Hi C.,
I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost three babies before birth, which was extremely difficult, but I still cannot imagine how much more difficult it must be to lose one whom you had time to know and hold and love. I just wanted to tell you that your post is such a beautiful witness to the preciousness of every day with those you love. What a tribute to your little daughter. And your older daughter -- WOW -- not only did she receive a precious gift in her little sister, but she gave so much to her sister, and through your post to many who will read it. The sweet, pure love young children give so unhesitatingly is so amazing. I just want to thank you for sharing your pain, and in doing so, touching others. I will be praying for you all as you go through the rough days, and as you remember the beautiful ones. Also, there was a post about a month or so ago from someone who had lost her baby through SIDS, and I'm sure she would love to connect with you. I'm sorry I can't remember her name or the exact date of her post at the moment, but it shouldn't be hard to find. God bless you.

I send you my best thoughts and support for this incredibly difficult journey you are on. What a brave mama you are. I'm sure talking with and just being around other parents who have experienced something similar would be comforting.

I'm not sure where you are, but my hospital (in Dover, NH) has a support group for parents who have lost a child, and it is very well run and a wonderful resource. There is a national organization that they are connected with. If your hospital doesn't have something similar, call Wentworth-Douglass and ask to speak with the coordinator of the group, and she will have more information and other resources for you.

Best,
M.

Dear C.,
My heart goes out to you and your family. We too lost a child, our son. He died of cardiomyopathy, a degenerative heart disease. I know what you mean when you say you are thankful for the time you did have with your angel. Even tho it was such a short time, I am so thankful for that time we had with our son, Brett. Like you, at the time, our daughter was six when all this happened. She was such a good big sister and if it was not for her, I'm not sure how I would have coped. This all happened many years ago. Brett would have been turning 20 this coming June. It sounds cliche, but time has been my friend. I can now think of Brett and smile at the wonderful memories we made with him. We had a wonderful support system of family and friends and it made a big difference. I still think of him all the time and even talk to him from time to time. I know what you and your family are going through and please know that you will all be okay in time. No parent should ever have to loose a child, it goes against mother nature. Nobody knows why bad things happen to good people but your family needs each other and you must go on. Please take care of each other and hold on to the good memories. Take special care.
S.

Dear C.,

My heart goes out to you and your family. I don't have any experience with this sad experience, but I just wanted you to know how sorry I was to read your post and wish you joy in your memories and strength as you move forward.

M. M., Cambridge, MA

Here just two links for your request:

http://www.healingheart.net/links/grief_info/infant_infol...

http://groups.yahoo.com/search?query=child+loss

Yahoo has some great support groups, you need to speak with other parents who have lost a child so you can tlak about things openly and not get the look of not understanding.

You may want to see if your town has a local support group.

You wil never have normal again, but a new normal and you baby girl will now be your guardian angel

I am so very sorry for your loss. I have not lost a grown child. I have had two miscarriages and found help and friendship through a yahoo group. Maybe there is one that would be suitable for you also?
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

I hope it's OK to respond. I have not lost a child. But your post brought tears to my eyes. I am still in that vulnerable tenderness time that comes after having a baby, even though my youngest is almost 6 months. Anyway, I hope you find a community of others who you can connect to, that isolation makes any struggle that much harder. I was inspired to write, though, because I too am a social worker (child & family therapist in Somerville) and I too have worked at Pottery Barn. I just thought that was worth commenting on. I am brand spankin' new to mamasource so I hope I have broken a rule, but I do hope people reach out to you in response to your brave post about your loss.

First let me say how sorry I am for your loss. I was wondering where you are located because I have a wonderful resource in the RI area run by a friend. If you contact your local hospital or one with a neonatal ICU they will have a listing of those groups for you in or around the area in which you live. I do scrap booking and work within a RI hospital NICU and I have helped some parents with a memory book. If you haven't already begun one I would suggest trying it when you feel able to tackle the task. A coworker did one chronicling her whole experience and journaled and found images that represented her feelings at the time if pictures and memorabilia were not available. If you ever want to talk about it feel free to contact me anytime. You can make it out of anything you have or might have purchased already. I also have a friend who found a memory baby book at a religious literature store and it really helped her focus her journaling and gave her the direction for her album. God Bless. Mary

Hi C.!
Please know that although I have not lost a child my heart and prayers are with you and your family.I can only imagine the pain you feel, my girls are my everything.I hope you find the comfort and support you need.May the sun shine on you again soon!

I am so sorry for your loss. You may want to visit with someone at The Children's Room - www.childrensroom.org. As a social worker myself, I have come to know the Executive Director (Barbara Clarke) and believe she's a great resource for grieving families. They even have programs for your older daughter to help her understand her emotions around her sister's death.
With sympathy,
A. S.

I lost my son Ian at 13 and half months. 6-8-09-7-22-09 He was born premature and had all kinds of health problems. It was very diffacult. I am just now coming out in the open with it and talking to others. He was my angel and their is not a day that goes by that i dont think of him. I never thought my child would go before me. I understand what you meen that some people dont understand about losing a child that is several months old or a year. Its still the loss of a child but when you have spent time day and night caring for a baby you know probably wont make it makes it harder. My prayers go out to anyone who has lost a child and i completly understand the heartache. Just take each day one at a time and know that God is in control and he will comfort you.
K.
____@____.com or facebook K. S.

I am sorry for your loss, I also lost a child at 91/2 months, on January 11th 2010 to stenosis of the pulminary veins. He to struggled and fought for his life we were in the hosipital 7 out of his 9 months. We are thankful for the time we did have him at home with us. I have a six year old boy who loved his brother so much. I to have been looking for other parents who have gone through what we have just to talk.

Hi C.,

I came across your page as I was searching online for writing a blog about the strength of women who have lost children. My name is K. and I also lost a child. My son, Kadan was born on June 9, 2008 and passed away on July 15, 2008 from a genetics disorder, partial trisomy 5 and partial trisomy 13.I am really sorry to hear about your daughter. How have you been?

I have a link that you will be able to receive support from other bereaved parents. Check out-www.ocwalktoremember.org

Each year we walk for the steps our babies will never take. This year, in Orange County California on October 23rd in Tustin, we will be holding our 5th annual walk. On this site posted above, click under resources and there is a bunch of helpful links.

The OC Walk to Remember is a nonprofit organization that supports parents who have lost a baby in pregnancy or infancy. The mission of the OC Walk to Remember is to raise money for local organizations that support parents who have experienced miscarriage, pregnancy loss, or infant loss of any kind, as well as be a resource center for parents, doctors, nurses, hospitals, support groups, and anyone in need of support or information.

I am also in charge of posting content to the OC Walk To Remember Blog. You can read about other parents who have lost children. The link is-http://www.blog.ocwalktoremember.org/

Either now or in the future, if you have thoughts that you would like to write about your daughter. You can either email me your story about how your daughter impacted your life or a poem...etc.I will be posting these stories to our blog!

Thanks,
K. Furuta
Director of Media and Public Relations
OC Walk To Remember
____@____.com

my name is tammy ; i am so sorryfor your loss. i to have lost my 18 year old from cardiomypathy i miss her so much and there isnt a day that i dont cry i am glad to speak to someone who knows how i feel. right now i am raising 1 of three children that she had which is the oldest and he so much brings me so much joy but i feel so bad that my daughter cant see how smart and handsome he is . it hurts so bad sometime and i dont think that the pain will ever go away i asked god why she was such a brillant and vibrant person we didnt know she was sick until it was to late. the baby survived then the father was given the baby by the courts of ohio and he shook and broke her leg and arm two ribs and died twice going to the hospital she survived thank god please write me back with your imput . thank you for listening.