Seeking Info on "Taking Away Parentel Rights and Adoption"

My Childrens biological father signed over parental rights and my husband adopted them, it cost about 2000.00 dollars but well worth every penny. It took about 3 months for the adoption to go through.

My husband adoped my children 5 years ago in MO. We did get a lawyer and he set everything up. It did take some time for the process. About a year. No matter how long and hard it seemed to be at the time, we are all so happy now. My husband is my children's father! It was absolutely the right decision! Good Luck. I don't remember the cost, but it was all worth it!

This may not be what you want to do but if the "real father" is not on the birth certificate you can put anyone who wants to be on there on there. I had the similiar situation with my oldest daughter. The county gave me a waiver or some kind of form that I have to sign and the man who wants to be the father sign before a notary and he will be added. It adds him to the birth certificate so it is permanent. Just a suggestion, there are no lawyers and virtually no cost. It just amends the original birth ceritficate to add the new husband. Good luck, I hope this helps:)

C., call an adoption attorney and get the paperwork together fast! If he is willing to sign and give up parental rights, do it before he changes his mind, then you can begin the adoption process for your new husband to adopt. It the father of your child changes his mind, ask the attorney about any law in Missouri that says how long a birthfather has to go before without paying ANY support before you can automatically terminate his parental rights. In my state it is 12 out of 14 months before filing a petition for adoption. It is not cheap, maybe $100 - $200 per hour of attorney's fees, but you want to make sure it is iron clad. If you don't have to go to court to try to terminate his rights, and he just signs his rights over, it will be much less expensive for the attorney to assist. Call around and ask for attorneys that have experience doing this (family law) and are the most reasonable in your county. God Bless! p.s. My answer changes drastically if there is any Native American blood--we have been in a 4 year battle with the birth father our hopefully soon to be adopted children who is Native American...

My heart & prayers go out to you...! We just have gone through that with our youngest granddaughter. We've had her since birth,the mom left the dad when she was 5 mos. pg. Her "biological" father has alot of mental problems & is vert abusive. It was his parents behind all the forced visitations so we got a great attorney & the lady who did the suppervisions had them stopped since he got violent with her to & threatened us to the point we had to get certified to carry weapons. We signed a stop child support paper & he hasn't offered to see her in two yrs. so check with an attorney as the laws vary from state to state....good luck.

If there is no father listed on her birthcertificet just have your husband now sing the birthcertificet saying he is the father.

Yes, you will need a lawyer and it will cost at least $500.00. Ask around for a good one. He will send your daughter's father paperwork for him to sign giving up his parental rights.

Depending on the state you live in, you should be able to just add your husbands name to the birth certificate. Since her biological father is not on the birth certificate it should be that easy. My son's biological father is the same way and is not on the birth certificate and does not pay child support. When I get married I will just add my husband to my son's birth certificate. Since you're the mother and you are on the birth certificate it should be that simple, but I'd check. You should not need an attorney to do this, you should simply be able to go up to your states courthouse and take care of it there, but I'd check just to be sure.

Hi C.,

You sound like a wonderful mother who really loves her children alot and want the best for them. I live in MO too. I live near Joplin, MO.

When I read your story, I had to tell you about Prepaid Legal. They have helped me alot with some things. For example, I took my daughter to a dentist to get her teeth fixed because she had some enamel coming off the front of her teeth (just the 2 front teeth) the rest of her teeth were fine. She was 2 years old when we brought her in there and so the doctor said we would have to put her in the hospital to have the work done because she was so young they would have to put her under to do the work. We went ahead with it and when she came out he had capped 13 teeth with metal caps, not something we agreed to at all he said to protect her other teeth from getting cavities. We were very upset because it looked horrible and there was no way to reverse it because they basically have to drill their teeth down to put the caps on, so he ruined good teeth for nothing. Then to make matters worse, she had a horrible reaction to the metal caps and starting having seizures within just 2 weeks after they were put on. He wanted me to bring her back in to see him and I told him I wouldn't bring my dog to him after what he did and I couldn't find any other doctors that would take them off, they just wanted to pull all her teeth and I wouldn't let them do that so he said he was going to report me to child services if I didn't bring her back in to see him. I called prepaid legal and they wrote him a letter and he backed off and left me alone. A few months later I found a doctor a few hundred miles away from my home and he took them off for me and made custom made little composite ones for her and her seizures stopped shortly after that. Thank goodness for prepaid legal. I wouldn't be without them. Here is a link where you can go to get membership. You can get membership for as little as $16 a month and you will be able to speak to an attorney right away about your problem and get advice on what to do. My phone number is on the site if you need to call me. http://prepaidlegal.com/go/sandraspradling

I wish you and your family the best.

I don't know much about this personally, but I have a friend who adopted his wife's child and a sister in law who is in the process of having her husband adopt her two kids. In both cases they needed a lawyer, and in both cases the biological parent had to be found and had to legally give up all rights. My sister in law cannot complete her adoption because her kid's biological parent cannot be found yet. My friend recently completed adoption of his stepson. Different states have different laws, so make sure you talk to a lawyer.

if he lives close instead of sending the papers to himm I'd meet him somewhere nuetral and have witnesses there to make sure they get signed and are legit, I'd hate for him to come back later and say he didn't sign them and you have problems later on. It's always best with anything legal like this to have witnesses and maybe even having it notorized, that is what I'd suggest.

I would talk to a lawyer. I beleive some lawyers still offer a free consultation visit. If her biological father has agreed to sign off, it should be mostly paperwork and filing the release of rights and then the paperwork and fees for the adoption. I would do it as quickly as possible, so that there is a smaller chance for problems with her biological father in the future.

C., Be thankful that you didn't have him sign the b.c. My son has his biological fathers last name hyphenated after mine but he did not sign paternity papers. When my son entered school I put only my last name on forms. He is now 18 yrs. old and has both names on drivers license. He can decide to change his name legally if he wants to. I have heard it's expensive and difficult to do so when the father isn't around or doesn't agree. Now I am happily married to a man that I've been with for 14 yrs. We also have a ten year old daugter and live in Mo. Good Luck.

Hi C. - We are actually going through the same exact thing right now with my seven year daughter. Her father was paying child support before he lost his job, but he disappeared for three years. She was three when that happened, and I had to try to explain to her that he just wasn't coming back. Of course now he wants to be part of her life but has agreed to sign over his rights to my husband. Even though my daughters father was not on her birth certificate we still had to have him sign his rights over nad go through the whole process. Yes, you need an attorney to make everything legal. Also my attorney said we could wait two years with no child support and that would terminate her biological fathers rights. You said your daughter is 15 months, if you just wait about eight months you may not have to worry about a court date with him. You would still need a step parent adoption though. Depending on the attorney fees - mine is $750 an hour plus court costs. Our process is going to cost roughly $1800. In the end the money will be worth it. Once he signs over his rights he will Never be able to come back and say,"okay -I screwed up and I want to be in her life now". That would only mess her up. As far as how long will it take - It only took three months for mine to be finalized. That was also with all the holidays in there so it probably won't take that long now. As long as he is willing to sign over his rights: NOTE All signatures must be signed and witnessed by a notary.
You can try to contact my attorney if you would like he is great and likes to get things done quickly. I think he does free cosultations - He is in Kansas so some of the laws my be different. not sure. His name Tom Mitchelson ###-###-####

I hope this will help and best of luck. I hope this will work out for your family like it has mine. I would love to hear how it turns out. C.

I work for an attorney. I know with most law offices, the first consultation is free, so I would contact an attorney in your area and get some legal advice.
For your husband to adopt your little girl, her biological father will have to have his rights terminated.

Hello C.,
Yes you will need a lawyer for your husband to adopt your little girl. I went threw that with my 3rd son his dad didn't want anything to do with him and he wanted to sign his rights away and i let him so my new husband could adopt him. But we had to have a lawyer to do that. I'm not sure what it cost now days but back when we did it it was like $400. But if he wants to do it i would let him so that way you can move on with your life. I wish you the very best.
L.

In our state, the DA's office has a child support task force. Call them, and find out if you have to do anything, since he is not even on the birth certificate. If you do need to have him sign away his rights to her, they can at least tell you what form to use.

You have to go thru a lawyer. I am going through this process right now. Sperm donor will be served with papers to appear in court if he wishes to contest it or not. If he doesn't show then his rights are terminated. Then I beleive you will have to do a home study and do some background checks for your husband. Once that is all done then they schedule another court hearing where everything is finalized and your husband becomes her father. It is costing us almost $3000 for an uncontested adoption and the homestudy and thats cheap.

Get it taken care of ASAP. It should be simple if it is a step parent adoption and the bio father is willing. Even if you could put your new husband put on the birth certificate, if the bio father wants to cause problems in the future all he'd have to do is say he's the father, get the state to pay for it, and then you'll be in limbo again. If you know where he is at, he's willing, get it done. It would be worth the small investment to get it over with and no worries. My husband and I recently adopted 2 of our nephews and I know what a hassle custody cases can be. And, yes, find someone with a free consultation or try legal aide if you don't make a lot of money. There are ways. Some courts will allow you to do it Pro Se, without an attorney, but I wouldn't reccomend that. Good luck

as far as I know...and I have no experience, the only way this gets lengthy and complicated and expensive is if the father fought giving up his rights- in which case you can, again, I think, threaten him with not only child support but back child support. From the way you make this guy sound, I think that would end that fight. As for how you go through the adoption process, not a clue, but as long as no one is fighting it, I dont see how it could be too difficult

Hi C.,

First off contact your local legal aide they do this kind of thing often. I am a Paralegal in Oklahoma so i dont know the state rules in Mo. but they will help you with the process and do it for cheaper than any attorney will. I wish you luck! Congrats on the great life !

I think both of the other ladies are right. If the baby-daddy is willing to sign her over, it should be a simple matter of paperwork. If not, it could turn ugly. I think finding an adoption lawyer who will give you a free consult and then tell you what you need to do next, and how much it will cost is your best bet. Good luck.

I have had a similar experience. Everything will depend upon which state you live in I think, but at the time of my custody battle with my ex-boyfriend, the father of my oldest son, (about 4 years ago), Illinois law had said that there must always be a "father" and a "mother" figure in the child's life.

My ex wanted to give up rights and at first, the courts would not let him because of that law. But then the courts discovered that I was going to get married. They said that they would allow my ex to terminate his rights if I was going to get married within the following year and my husband would adopt my son. When the time came, and I thought it was odd, but my husband and I BOTH had to adopt my son. LOL. That's just the way the law works.

If your ex won't approve and give up his rights even though he claims to not want the child, contact a lawyer and have the lawyer send him official documents explaining just exactly how much your ex will owe in child support and how the courts will TAKE it from him if he still refuses to let your husband adopt your child. That outta work! ;-)

If you need the name of a good lawyer in Illinois, I will give you the name of my lawyer here in Granite City. If nothing else, my lawyer can refer you to a good lawyer in MO. Be prepared to pay a consultation fee at first. Probably around $200 for an initial interview to see if you have a case, although, some lawyers have free consultations too.

The attorney's fees will probably be around $2000. I had to take out a loan for mine but it was well worth the peace of mind. Perhaps you could use your tax returns to pay the fee? There may also be an attorney to represent your child called a "Guardian ad Litem." He or she will be there simply for the best interests of the child and may interview you and your husband. Please let me know if I can help.

D.

You are right to want to take care of this now to avoid any possible legal issues in the future. An uncontested adoption is typically an easy process. It can be done at one court hearing. Use an attorney skilled at adoption - not just your favorite attorney who may be unsure of the process and cost you more time/money in the long run. I don't know where you live, but in Oklahoma if you have been married for one year, you do not need a home study for a step-parent adoption. (Exceptions would be if there are red flags - criminal history by the step parent, etc... or if the bio parent is fighting the adoption) This can save you between $600 and $1000 and help you avoid what some consider a stressful situation. (I do adoption home studies for a living. It really isn't a difficult process, but if you can wait you can save the money.) You can contact the attorney in advance and begin the legal process before one year, just can't finalize until you have been married one year (if you choose to skip the homestudy). Total cost will still be $1500 - $3000 but will be worth it in the long run.

I was in the ssame situation. Just put an ad in the paper ad in the paper stating that you want to adopt the baby. If he does not dispute this than you can go ahead with the adoption. It will cost about 1500 to 2000. We did send the papers to the natural father and he did sign off.
You can do this yourself without a lawyer

Hi C.: I was adopted when I was 12 and from what I know, you have to hire a lawyer and from what I remember you have to put an ad in the newspaper in the town where the babys father lives and about your husband wanting to adopt your baby. The father can fight it, but if you pursue the fight, I'm sure he will give up. I don't know how much it will cost, but it shouldn't be too much if the babys father doesn't fight it. It could also cost a lot if you are will to fight it. It really depends on who has the money to fight it. Just have faith and it will work out, he is just the father and your husband is the daddy and their is a big difference.....trust me.

I went through this very thing in 2007. You will have to hire a lawyer it cost me $5,000 but i had two children and the parents of the children wouldn't sign over there rights. If he's will to sign the rights over, you will probably only have two court dates. I would say it would cost around $1,500. It took me around 9 months for my process but i think under your circumstances it would take around 2 or 3 months if you have a good lawyer. If he won't sign it will take longer and cost more, but it will be easy to take away his rights. The law states you can terminate rights without consent if failure to pay or maintain contact 12 out of 14 months. If you want to talk more info i have tons and can email you docs that my lawyer sent me so you don't have to spend more money having your lawyer prepare them. Just let me know.

Good Luck,

V.

Yes, you will need an attorney. The cost will consist of attorney's fees, filing fee's for adoption with the court. Depending on how tough it will be for the biological father to sign off his rights-doesn't sound like that is a problem. You should call around. DFS will do a home inspection and watch to see how well everyone interacts as well. Good luck. Do your homework