Process of Giving up Parental Rights

I heard about someone who went online and drew up their own divorce papers then just presented them to the judge who granted the divorce without a lawyer. You might be able to do the same, but if so, don't expect any support money from the father. Once he signs over paternity rights and she is adopted, I believe his financial obligations are over except for the amount he is behind. He is still liable for that, plus interest.

You have to have an attorney to legal have him give up his parental rights. As far as if the child support stops after that, I do not know the answer to that. I do know that whatever is done - do what's best for the child - ALWAYS. D.

From the people I've known who have been through this, though you have a right to back child support, most often it is NOT sought (and thus given up) when bio dad gives up his rights. I have never heard of a "former" bio dad paying back child support! I think it would be worth it to have the termination of rights and adoption go smoothly and not worry about angering bio dad about the back child support. Get him out of her life and wipe the slate clean.

It's so funny that you posted this. We finalized my oldest son's step parent adoption this afternoon (he is 10 and it sounds like our situation was similar to yours).

You are already one step ahead of the game if the biological father has consented! When we began the process I tried to download all of the paperwork and file it on my own but became very overwhelmed. I have heard of people doing it on their own, but it was way too scary for me feel like I could handle.

We then found an attorney on Lawyer Referral Services to try to save money. The idea is that since this service refers customers to the attorneys they in turn charge less. For us it was a huge and expensive mistake! After $1000 all he had done was file the document stating our intent (with numerous mistakes we later found out). We also found out that he was a small business and entertainment attorney, he didn't specialize in family law as he had stated to us, so just be careful.

Finally we decided to bite the bullet and go with a friend we knew we could trust. I can give you her info if you are interested. I know that all of these are on a case by case basis but the one thing that we recently found out was the child is still entitled to inheritance, even after the bio father's rights are terminated, unless you state otherwise. Good Luck!

I would contact a reliable lawyer just for your own protection in the future. I would also have mercy on the father regarding back child support if he is really willing to give up parental rights. That will be a blessing to you in the future and you wouldn't want to cause him to change his mind only out of spite and not out of a real desire to be a father. That would hurt your child. Just food for thought.

Hmmm, it wouldn't surprise me if he argues for the back child support to be forgiven as a condition for relinquishing his parental rights.

Thought I'd mention it, so you can be prepared for that scenario...

Hi there J.,

You'll need to contact an attorney. It will be easier if you file for termination of parental rights the same time your husband petitions for adotion. For us, it was easier and more cost effective to do it that way. You'll need to submit all info to your attorney about the biological father (addresses, place of employment, phone numbers, etc.). Your attorney will send them notice of your request to terminate parental rights. Your ex will have 30 days to sign the papers or contact an attorney himself. In a best case situation, your ex is willing to work with your attorney and simply signs the termination papers and signs a waiver that basically says he doesn't want to be notified of the court appearance (he'll be done at that point & it won't cost him anything).

Now, if you're husband is filing adoption papers at that time, your attorney will also file in that request at this time. You'll be required to do a home study with a caseworker (which costs extra from your attorney fees), submit 3 letters of recommendation from co-workers, friends, family, etc.

The termination process takes at least 45-60 days; which is why I'd suggest filing for adoption at the same time - one lawyer (and fees) and one time court fee. I think it cost us 7-9K. It sounds like your ex wants to terminate his rights, so it may be a little less. Just call around and set up consultations. Ask what their fees are for emails, sending a fax, and making phone calls. Our attorney gave us an inventory of everything she was doing. Also, be sure to ask about getting your daughter's new social security card. I thought my attorney was on top of that; but after our court date we didn't hear from her. We had to pay another fee to get the new social security card.

Congratulations on your daughter's adoption!

Hi J.!

I too am in a similar situation. My oldest is 7 and he has been raised by my current husband since he was 3. I have not heard from his biological father for 3 YEARS and he has not been paying child support for over a year.

I contacted my attorney and basically you have no choice but to seek legal action if you want to go through with an adoption. You would have to have him sign over all of his parental rights before you could do the adoption. Assuming that he willingly does that then case closed. However, if he decides to be difficult he could possibly fight you in court to keep his rights. My attorney said that since mine owes so much back child support that we would use that as a bargaining tool to get him to sign his rights over. Basically if he would agree to sign his rights over we would drop all back child support, and he wouldn't have to pay me a dime. That's the only downfall, but hey it's would be worth it to me to have him out of my son's life.

What originally prompted me to seek legal advice was my worry that if something happened to me what would happen to my son. I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, but you just never know. My lawyer said that until they reach the age of 12 if something where to happen to me that my son would be awarded to his biological father simply because he still has his parental rights. After the age of 12 the child could decide where they wanted to live. I just couldn't bear the thought of my son being taken away from our home with the only dad he's really known.

Anyway, I hope that this helps a little. If nothing else maybe it'll save you a consultation and fee with an attorney. Best of luck to you! :)

N.

my husband (ex now) and I did this many years ago. i also suggest you have a lawyer. this can be a very intense situation. this ruling means that the parent signing away their rights do not ever have any obligation to the child. this includes back child support, property, inheritance, or any responsibility whatsoever, for all time. my daughter's biological father never paid child support anyway, and it was well worth it to insure my child wouldn't have to deal with this person again. when she was old enough, we explained the situation, and the first thing she wanted to do was contact him, she couldn't believe he would have wanted to give her up. it was a heartbreaking situation all around, but i guess she really needed to see for herself that she was loved by us so much and just try to comfort he. anyway, the lawyer is a good idea in case anything ever comes up in the future and it provides the child with a "new" birth certificate naming your current husband as her daddy. good luck with this, it's both a blessing and a heartbreak...

J., I had a friend who did this and although I am not sure of all of the steps you will need to take to start this process, I would think that your first step would be to talk to an attorney because I'm sure at some point, you will need one to finalize everything. If finances are an issue, a lot of attorneys do this type of work pro bono. You may want to start with a google search to help give you a starting point. Best of luck!
C.
PS - I believe my friend's daughter was about 8 when they went through this process. She's now 16 and is a very beautiful, healthy, vibrant, articulate girl with a good head on her shoulders. Being a parent, in my opinion, has a whole lot less to do with genes and a whole lot more to do with consistent love and support. The people that did not know them before the adoption never even question if the adoptive dad is the real dad and I even think some of us that "KNOW" he's not the bio dad forget!!

My husband just adopted my daughter, she is 8 years old, my ex-husband has only seen her once and I have never recieved child support. To answer your question yes you do need to get a lawyer due to the fact that there is alot of legal issues that do have to be adressed by a lawyer. And I do believe that she would still be entitled to back child support, but again you need to consult with an adoption attorney.

Although it can be a hassle and involve money, it is best that you let a lawyer handle this. You want this done by the book with no loop holes. I do not handle family law matters, but there is a lawyer in my office that does. Her name is Trish Cantu. You can call her at ###-###-####. Good luck!

Wow, that is a big step. Well, I will say that yes, contacting a lawyer is necessary. This is a large and very controversal legal issue. Many courts do not like to grant such wishes as far as I have seen. If your ex doesn't want to sign the paperwork to give up his parental rights, you won't have a chance. However, if he does, you may have to forgo the back child support payments. I am not sure on the latter, it usually depends on the policies the custodial state the case was filed in. Good luck and I am sorry to hear that things are not up to par with the ex handling his reponsiblities.

Hi J.,

My current husband and I are in the same boat, no child support, no help from the AG, and the ex-husband has agreed to give up parental rights.

To answer your question, you do not have to go through an attorney. You can order the paperwork online and then file with the court. Here is the web site that we intend to use:
https://www1906.dulles19-verio.com/divo35/order_adopt.htm

To answer your other question, by allowing your current husband to adopt your child, the ex-husband will not have to pay future child support. HE WILL STILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL SUPPORT IN ARREARS! That means that if he has a job, his wages will be garnished. When he files tax returns, you will be first in line for any refunds.

I hope this helps. We are going through the exact same thing at present. Let's just hope the ex-husbands live by their word. Otherwise, it could get complicated and very expensive!

Take care,
B.

Get an attorney who specializes in adoption/family law. It will cost far less in the end. The child support issue is not federally regulated and varies by State, so that makes it even more important to get an attorney who is familiar with the process.

No. You will not get any child support that is owed to you. That's part of him giving up his rights and responsibilites as a "father." Good luck. Yes, I think it's in your best interest to find an attorney. Most of them have a free consultation now especially for an easy case like this.
Good luck!

You do need to have an attorney and take this before a judge. I believe the biological father will need one also. Any child support that is in arrears must be paid. The AG will continue to receive payments owed to you until it is paid off. So, yes, your daughter is still entitled to get this money. I pray the best for you and your family!

This is interesting--a young mother friend of mine just came over yesterday and shared with me she will be in court this morning for just this very topic today. I am sure she would not object to you emailing her and telling her I gave you her address and perhaps she could give you first hand info.

Her name is Gracie King and her email address is ____@____.com--my name is K. Corder.

God bless you

Get an attorney if you want things to be done RIGHT. Most Judges in most of the courts here in Harris County won't even attempt to talk to you without one.

If the bio dad truly wants to give up his rights use the back child support as a bargaining tool. He signs, you let go of the back support. Primarily because, should something ever happen to you while your daughter is a minor, you don't want him having rights to her and being able to take her from her "dad" ie; your husband who is raising her.

Just forget the back support and look at it as the price of securing your daughter's future. Good luck!

The adoption will hinge on the biological father's decision to allow it, so I recommend that you not seek for back-payments. It's more important to get the adoption done than it is to have the child live in limbo (infrequent visits from bio. father, poor child support payments/undependable, legal wrangling with seeking unpaid support, etc.) but possibly "get" back-payments due but not paid. It's also a pretty good motivator to take the father to court for years of backpayment if he does NOT want to proceed with supporting the adoption, but don't use this unless absolutely necessary (you want everything to be on the up-and-up so there aren't possible future problems with this person).

You will need a lawyer to finalize the adoption and file the paperwork for termination of parental rights. I don't know about the back child support. You might be able to do all this yourself if you are a paralegal but this is your childs future, don't take any chances. When we adopted our daughter the cost was minimal (about $1300.00 total) and the lawyer was thorough so it was worth it.
Hope this helps and all goes well.
Blessings,
D.

It is never necessary to contact a lawyer; however, I would absolutely get a lawyer for a parental termination. I would suggest Lauren Matthews here in Austin. She is wonderful and she is affordable.

hi J.
you do need a lawyer to draw up legal documents for the father to give up his rights, but when he does there will be no child support for your daughter,i have already been through this myself,
hope this helps

D.

Hi J.,
I just want to say that your husband is your daughters "real" dad, the other one is just the biological one. Your husband is the one who has been doing the job.
Good Luck to you and your family,
T.

Unfortunately a lawyer is a must. I was adopted by my stepfather at the age of 15 and we had to go through a home visit and the court appointed me my own attorney. As for the back child support, my understanding is that it is forfeited upon completion of the adoption. I am not 100% certain of this, but your lawyer will be able to tell you. I can tell you with certainty that I have never regretted having my stepfather adopt me. It was the best decision I ever made. All men can be fathers, but it takes a real man to be a dad. I hope this was helpful.

Hi J.. A friend of mine went through this about a year ago. She had to get a lawyer & it had to be done through the courts. Forget about whatever monies he owes, you've got a good man wanting & willing to be her father, don't make the biological one mad for any reason while going through this, wouldn't want to chance him changing his mind. Also, once it's done, he will no longer be responsible for her so no one will be entitled to any money. Good luck & congrats on having a good father for your daughter!!!

J.,
You will need to have a Lawyer due to your daughters age. If her Bio. dads name is on her birth cert. you will basically have to go through adoption process. Not as horrible as it sounds. My oldest son was adopted by my husband. We got the leagal papers that need to be filed from a web site on the internet. In Texas you can do this kind of thing on your own as long as the adoption is not going to be challenged by your ex. www.cyberstation.net/paralegal/confirm_adop.htm This is the web page where we aquired the legal info and papers. I would also be willing to forgo getting the back child support.Or as the ex to put it up for helping file the paperwork.This will take a few weeks to complete from beginning to end. You will also have to have a social worker come into your house to check things out. It is not as bad as it sounds I was so nervous, but things went fine. She did open my fridge and I just could have screamed, due to the fact I had come in from the store that day in a rush and just cramed my groceries into the fridge and it was a mess. lol looking back it was funny. The best thing of the whole process is that my son finally felt like he had the last name of the man who was really a true dad to him. To this day,he is 23, he says that is the best thing that has ever happened to him. He has also since being and adult been in contact w/his bio. dad and says my husband is the only dad he has. I will pray for your peace through this. Be Blessed.

J.... The lawyer's name is JANA OLSEN-BAKER. She is WONDERFUL and deals with international, domestic and foster adoptions. This lady knows her stuff!

Yes, you do have to contact a lawyer. Termination of parental rights has to be legally documented and processed through the courts, as does the adoption in order to be formally and legally recognized. You need to locate an adoption attorney for this process. One of the best in the area(if not THE best) is located right here in San Antonio. I'm on the hunt for her name right now and will email you back with her contact info.

Regarding back payment of child support... I would ask your lawyer. He does owe them and there are legal consequences for not paying. However, try to focus on what is the most important, overall factor here. Your daughter is blessed to have her REAL father adopting her. (smile!) Any ties to her biological father, money or otherwise, may not be worth pursuing at this point.

I wish you nothing but blessings and am so happy for your daughter and husband. It's incredibly important to make this legal for their emotional sake, as well as for the future. I'll email you with the information as soon as I can find it again.

Praising God for this!
M. Schultze - adoptive mommy of four

Just get papers drawn up, by a lawyer. Just the papers!!!

Since the bio father is ok with this, have him sign it. Then file it with the court. You may need to go in front of the judge PRO-SE. State the case and be done.....Hopefully the judge will honor the adoption, case closed.

My husband is the only father my 9 year old has ever known. He does not know he is not his daddy. In 2004 he adopted my son. "spermdonor" actually paid for half. No, you can not get back child support one rights have been terminated. I would tell him if he could come up with half of the money for the adoption you would forget about all of the back money. My attny let us make pmts. My half was about $600. It is so worth it not to have to mess with any of that drama. My attny gave us a free consultation. He was so awesome! He even helped us get all of the records we needed and assisted in getting a new birth certificate and social secutity card! In our case, my son had never met his dad so it was perfect! Let me know if you need anything else....i have been through it!

I can recomend the attny to ya...

Hi J.
It's my opinion that the courts don't like to see the termination of rights alone they want the child to have someone other than yourself assume responsibility. i.e. adoption.
In my case we had an attorney friend give us the termination of rights paper we faxed them to his attorney, had him sign and notarize, and then they mailed them back to us. This would also work using one attorney, I believe. Then my husband filed to adopt my girls for both it was about $1,700. Once that was in motion, we had to see a state appointed child advocate. IT sounds scary but it was fine. It's for the child's best interest (We walked in with the termination of rights already signed and notarized, so he was viewed as a father abandoning his children).
Then we waited for the court date.It took maybe 20 minutes in front of the judge, and it was over.
About the back child support, I'm not really sure my kids were drawing disability SSI checks so I rushed to the SSI Office to make sure they stopped, and to my surprise they didn't.
I guess my advice is to get the termination of rights going as soon as possible.
I would have given up the SSI willingly just to get his influence away from my girls.
Luck,
M.

I would consult with an attorney, but I wouldn't think you could get child support from her father if he gives up parental rights.

Maybe you should spend the time to get the back child support he owes your daughter and put it in the bank to save for her college. The courts can garnish wages to repay this. I would want him to continue to pay the child support and just save it for her for later as a gift from "dad".

I am sure your husband now wouldn't treat her any differently if he adopted her or not.

Hi, J.:
Yes, you will have to file some documents at the courthouse, a process normally handled by attorneys. If you want to read about the law and the process, go to www.TexasLawHelp.org, a site I've found very helpful. Click on Family Law and see Adoption and Child Support.
I worked as a paralegal for several years and know my way around the Bexar County Law Library so I've handled the paperwork for my divorce myself. While a lot of people are going the Pro Se route, you have to know that although it's cheaper, it's also slower due to the required review by the Bexar County Staff Attorney which can take a couple of months.
The real stickler is the back child support. The AG's office should handle that for you.
Good luck!

I have discussed this with my attorney - and YES you need to have a private attorney to follow through on this process.

If your daughters father is willing to give up his rights to her - have your attorney draw up the paperwork. From that point on it is up to you to wash away the child support owed or state that the amount owed is still to be paid to your daughter.

It is my understanding that if you choose to still want the back support - the attorney generals office will still pursue what is owed but nothing more will be added on since he is giving up his rights. Meaning - that if he is currently suppose to pay $300 a month and is currently 12000 in arrears... then your child will still receive (when they can track him down) the 12000 + interest.... but the $300 will no longer be added per month.

I wish I could convince my daughters father it is what is best for my daughter. He sees her about once every 6 weeks for about 5 minutes, but can see his brother every other day - and that is only right next door..... OMG dont get me started, lol

good luck - but it would be well worth the $$$ spent if he is willing to give her up.

Hello J.,

We adopted our son almost 2 years ago and I would recommend getting a lawyer to make sure that this issue is done legally.
If your husband is adopting your daughter so that to make life easier and simple for your daughter, then don't worry about the back pay and so forth. Sounds like you don't get much of child support from her dad anyway and the visits are rare. If your daughter does not want to keep in contact with her biological father, then honor her wishes and let her honor the man that has been in your life giving you the love and support that you need to be a "family". If the money issue is the only thing that keeps you connected to the biological father and she does not want the connection, then cut the ties and move on.
I hope all will work for you, your daughter and the rest of the family.

God Bless,
E.

Hi,

I used to work as a social worker in the Juvenile Court, Child Protective Services division. You will need an attorney, there are lots of legal notices and paperwork that has to be delivered in a timely manner once the case is open. Also, he (her father) may contest it and an attorney would help with that. Finally, once she is adopted by your current, the ex no longer has any type of obligation, financial, emotional, physical, at all. Your current becomes entirely responsible for the rest of her life. Hope that helps and good luck!

R. F.

Your daughter is entitled to knowing that you and her father ( step ) love her very much. I would definatly contact a lawer just due to the finalization and permant position your husband would be taking. Its a big step and I think its time to let your daughter have some stabilty and know that this man is her father, your husband. I would also go check out some books about how your daughter is handling all of this. Things like abandoment and the feeling of being unwanted. Even though you and your husband are there its still a huge sting to have a parent basically give up on you. Congrats to you and your husband for doing the right thing. Sorry the little one has a bad guy in her life for now. Good luck.

I also am an Social Worker and worked with CPS and the civil courts on custody matters. Oh yes, you will need an attorney and much more. If her father agrees to sign over his rights, it can go smoothly. If not, you are talking thousands of dollars and a great deal of time and effort. No, he will not still pay child support if his rights are terminated - this dissolves the relationship between them and therefore he is no longer responsible for her well being.
Importantly, if you are seeking Termination of his Parental Rights, he will have the right to a court appointed attorney. So, if you do not have an attorney and he does - you will more than likely not win the case.
So my advice, get an attorney and then have a nice sit-down talk with her biological father.

Everyone has given you good advise so I will just emphasis that you will need an attorney. It probably will be expensive but you want to make sure it is all done correctly and legally so that he can't come back on you later down the road and say he was done wrong somewhere along the lines. For the reasons you want this to happen I would think it would be money well spent to make sure it is done right. Wouldn't you hate that if something did happen to you and then the biological father decides to fight the new adoptive father and they found a flaw because you wanted to do it the faster and less expensive way to do it and then child ends up going back to the biological father? Think about it and just make sure you do it the right way.
Good Luck to you and what a luck mother you child has.