Seeking Help with Granddaughter Who Insists, "She Is Too Busy to Use the Potty!"

Well, I would be pretty firm that she WILL go. Set an egg timer for every 30 - 45 min. When that goes off, stop her movie or her play time and make her go. This will get old with a girl of her age fast, esp. if she is busy doing what she wants. Everything should stop for the 10 min that she sits on the potty.
Tell her, if you can go accident free for three days, I will put the timer away, but if you have accidents, it comes right back out. IT doesn't have to be a power struggle, just a no nonsense, this is how it is. Stay calm, excort her from her game/movie to the bathroom, and when and if she groans when the timer goes off, remind her that if she decides to start listening to her bodies needs, you will get rid of the timer.

just a suggestion.

Bribery, ... ur um .. incentive always worked well here too! :)

Consistency is key, whatever you decide to do needs to be implemented when you're not in charge as well.

Best of luck, and kudo's for being such a wonderful grandmother!!!

S.,

So sorry about your loss. It's interesting to see how kids do things differently then we do as adults, sometimes they leave us more obvious signs of "crying out". You are right, she can't get away with reverting with the toilet training. She had gone through so much with the loss of her Papa...she may not be ready by August to start school and that's okay. You got a lot of good ideas about how to get her to reuse the "potty", but it may take longer then other kids with her emotional state. Push the issue of the potty, but don't push the issue of school. I wouldn't tell her she can't go to school if she doesn't use the potty, because she may be thinking "so what, I don't want to leave my grandma, I don't want to go, who cares". If she's not ready for school for school in August, there is always next year.

Very sorry to hear about your loss. I know how tough it can be.

I have not had to deal with this yet myself but my dear girlfriend was in the same boat and she really struggled until, she discovered that her child was highly motivated by M&M's. Every time her son goes #1 in the potty he gets to put an M&M into a jar. When he goes #2 he gets to eat them all. He just did not respond to having anything taken away from him or sitting in a mess. I guess like adults we all have different motivators. Oh, I think they have gotten past the M&M phase. He just seems to go when he needs to now. I think he just need to become more aware of himself.

She has also gotten him to put his dishes in the sink by offering stickers. Go figure!

Hope this was helpful.

Condolences to you on your husband's passing.

Perhaps you could find some incentive to motivate her to use the potty? My husband and I were determined not to use "bribes" for potty training but when our then-3.5YO twins got to the stage where we knew they *could* save their business for the potty but just chose to "let it out" wherever they were, we started changing our minds. My mother-in-law was staying with us while recouperating from a hospital stay and she had some "Mike & Ike" candies that our girls were curious about so when Grandma said "ask your mom if you can have a candy" I told them "If you do your business in the potty, you can ask Grandma for a candy". Presto, overnight they went from about one accident a day to one a week and then hardly any accidents at all, and after a while they didn't even bother asking for the candies anymore.