Seeking Divorce Experience

Updated on October 28, 2011
L.M. asks from San Antonio, TX
12 answers

my mother remarried in august to an allegedly well off financial man. He promised to pay off all of her financial obligations for ex. Her house if she quit her job and relocated to his hometown. The marriage has become unbearable and he has not kept his promise and gives her a hard time when the house payment is due. Given that she has been married such a short time what are her chances of leaving this marriage with some financial security? What has been your experience?

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G.T.

answers from Redding on

Actually might not be too late for an annulment even. It's been barely 2 mos. She would probably be able to leave with what she came in with and he with his I would guess. I think that would be the fair thing for both of them.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Ann:

Have your mom contact a divorce attorney in her state. She may not have been married long enough to get anything from him. If nothing was in writing and just verbal - it is his word against hers.

Best advice see an attorney. Personal experience? None. My opinion? Don't think she's "entitled" to anything since they haven't been married that long and if nothing was in writing, she's screwed.

Best of luck to her! I hope an attorney has better news than me!

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Sorry if this sounds harsh but it sounds like she married him for financial security, which it seems he is not coming thru on so why would she think she could leave after 2 months with "some financial security"? It should be as easy as going to the county courthouse and seeing if she can file for annulment or file for divorce. Regardless, she needs to get out of it. Good luck.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Verbal promises mean nothing! If I were her, I'd cut my losses and get a divorce or annulment if that's legally possible. There is no way that she can force him to provide her with anything financially. She should consult an attorney.

Financial security, based on two months of marriage is impossible. He owes her nothing.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

She can divorce him fairly easy but she cannot compel him to live up to his promises.

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

It's going to be very state-specific and she needs a lawyer - preferably someone board certified in family law.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

So basically he talked her into getting married, she gave up her job,
moved to his town instead of him moving to hers, he promised he would make sure her not working would not make her lose her home, and he lied about it all.

I would say she could just get a divorce. If he claims any part of her home due to the checks for the past few months being in his name, then she is pretty much out of luck.

They cannot legally get an annulment in normal court, they had sex after the said I do so they consummated it, it is legally binding marriage. They have to file for divorce. She may lose her home or just have to pay him back for the few house payments he paid.

I don't know, I read your post and it sounds like she didn't really want to give up her job and possibly lose her home to move to his place. i would make sure if there were any emails of anything they were forwarded to someone else so they can be used in court to show he made the promises to get her to move there.

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

It was her choice so now she needs to own up and get out. Finances can always be repaired, but her mental state can be damaged beyond repair the longer she stays.

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R.L.

answers from Houston on

Is he really well off? Or was that all talk to get her to quit her job so he could control her? Sounds shady to me! I would check with a divorce lawyer, but it depends on what state you are in. TX doesn't have alimony so if it's here she's probably out of luck. Plus being married for such a short time she probably wouldn't be entitled to much. I bet she could get it annulled and move on.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

she might be able to get an annulment being it has not been very long they were together. sorry this happened to her.

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W.H.

answers from Sacramento on

my mom had a friend like that man. he doesnt live in wyoming does he? he would be all sweetness and light and convince the women to marry him and then sell their homes and move to his. he then proceeded to take them to the cleaners. last we heard, he was on wife #8. your moms a lawyer.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Check the TX family court laws. In California, I BELIEVE, what belonged to either spouse prior to marriage, does not belong to the other spouse unliess comingled funds have gone into a joint account.

Check out the laws in your mother's residential area, and suggest to her or his name off any credit cards established prior to your marriage. You should also take your name off any credit cards established in his name.

Bottom line, your mother needs to protect herself, financially, emotionally and physically.

Blessings.....

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