Seeking Discipline Advice!

Honestly, I don't think they 'get' timeouts until the child is closer to age 3. What worked best for us at that age was redirection and making a concerted effort to say yes to a situation, rather than no. When I would start saying no all the time, the tantrums would ensue, mostly due to communication problems. So rather than saying no all the time, I would say, "you may do this" or give them a choice between 2 acceptable things. For times when that was not possible, I would mostly redirect. Or, if things were really out of hand, they would have a minute or 2 in their crib to calm down.

I also read 1-2-3 Magic. Timeouts can work as long as your dedicated. It can take a lot of patience in the beginning. Have you ever watched Super Nanny do a timeout? If the child gets out of timeout before the timer beeps you calmly put the child back in timeout (no talking). Believe me after a number of times doing this he will get the concept. My dtr. stays in time out for 2 minutes (2 yrs old). I have had 2-3 time outs that lasted 30minutes because she got out of her timeout spot too early. I try to limit timeouts to more grievous offenses (hitting ect) and otherwise use distraction and positive reinforcement for behavior that we want to see repeated.

I never read the book, but my son has learned that by the time I get to 2 he better be well on his way to correct behavior. We started timeouts with him when he was 1. It took a lot of putting him back in timeout to get him to stay, because it was a game at first. Now he knows to stay there, and if he does test & get up he goes right back & the timer is reset. Different things work for different kids though, and you just have to figure out what works for your son. For mine, time outs & no Diego work for him. My nephew actually needed prized things taken from him. For instance, to stay in bed my sister gave him 2 trucks. Each time he got out of bed, he would lose a truck for the night. Figure out what your son responds to and focus your efforts on that as a form of discipline. Time outs don't work for all kids, but there is something that makes everyone tick. Just make sure that you follow through -- even if it means you're stuck in the house bored all day because you had to take away the pool, the bike, grandma's, the park, etc. Consitancy is key, and the way to create solid behavior is by letting him know that no matter what he does, and where he does it, your reaction is the same. He will test you to make sure he has limits. He needs to know what you expect from him, and will be happier if he knows what is okay. We end every discipline with hugs, kisses, apologies, and I love you.

Be consistant on whatever discipline method you use. Once you make the decision on how to handle unacceptable behavior, stay with it and remain calm but firm. This also applies to outside of the home too. Don't be afraid to discipline in public, or get embarrassed that everyone's watching. Block out everyone else around you and handle the situation. Calm and firm.

In the grocery store, once you say no to a "please can I have this item" stick with it. Once you give in or change your mind, they now know there's always room for negiotation which creates a grey area. In my experiance, grey is unhealthy; black or white is best. I always take a second before I answer.

The more consistant my husband and I are, the easier it gets.
It's hard work that will pay off in the long run. Stick with the discipline and NEVER give up on your kids by tolerating unacceptable behavior.

Good Luck and hang in there!

we started time outs at 1 in the pack and play where he couldn't get out. at around 2 he stopped sitting on the 'step' and challenged us. i ended up strapping him to the booster seat in the other room. We figured out time outs don't work unless they are used for only extreme behaviors w/our son (found out the hard way... it only got worse). we do 1-2-3 and it's usually good. we went through a phase too.

just remember. good for your son. he's 2. he's doing exactly what he's supposed to do at 2. be proud. he's challenging mom and dad, testing his authority and his individuality. just be patient : )

I use time outs for my 2 year old son and they work pretty well. Generally, the time out either lasts 2 minutes, or until he settles down (whichever is longer; sometimes he doesn't start having a fit until I haul him off to his room and put up the gate). He's 26 months right now and increasingly, I'm seeing him correct his behaviour before I get to 3, but it's definitely a "mood" thing. He is experimenting with disobeying.... I think as parents the most important thing we can do is be consistent and NEVER make empty threats. If you say "If you do XX one more time, we will not YY" then you HAVE to stick to it. Also, think logically about consequences. My son recently ripped a page in his book shortly before bedtime (intentionally). So I took the book away and he didn't get a bedtime story that night. When he throws the ball indoors (not allowed) and does it 3 times, the ball gets taken away, etc.

I, too, have read 1-2-3 Magic and agree with most of what is in there. You'll find what works for you with your son. I think consistency is the key (and make sure your husband handles things the same way as you, and NEVER contradict each other in front of your kid).

I also read 1,2,3 Magic and use counting with my 27 month old. My other friends do as well and it does work. But like all discipline styles it isn't 100%. What I ended up doing, and I was resistant, was putting him in his room for timeout. I didn't want to associate timeout with his room but had to once he got older. He HATES being in there alone with the door shut and it has been working well. But he still isn't perfect and still is a typical 2 year old, you can't change that. But it does show him consequences and allows up both time to cool off. So you could look at changing the location of time out. My one girlfriend does it in the high chair in a corner, I do it in his bedroom, some still do it on a bench/stool and their kid actually stays. Just find what works, stick with it, and as time goes on it will work. Also pick your battles choose 2-3 things that warrant time out and use redirection and other strategies for the rest.