Appropriate Disc Ideas for 24 Mo Old

I agree with you that the bed should NOT be a time out spot. Sending them to their room is another NO!NO! with me, because their room should be a peaceful place to sleep, not a punishment room. Time out chairs are good and they stay, if you stay consistent with how you do it. Times outs should be one minute per their age. I have made them put their noses on the wall even. Sometimes you have to sit with them and make them sit there until they learn that you mean it. I am a no tolerance mom when it comes to disrespect, but you do have to teach them when they are young so they don't get confused when they are older. You can still LOVE LOTS and be a no tolerance mom.
Stay Consistent!!!!!!!! I hop this helps.
Kay

Timeout for a 2 yr old is only 2-3 minutes long. When I started them with my boy, I'd sit in timeout with him and put him back in the corner if he tried to leave. Then I'd start the time over again. Then when it was over, "are you done? do you need a hug?"

half a year later he started going to timeouts by himself. We do the 3-2-1-timeout thing. He hates timeouts enough to correct his behavior while we're counting down.

My daughter will be 2 in August, and for the last month or so I've been using time outs. You should only have them sit for a minute or so, and you will have to place them in the spot a few times before it sinks in that they have to stay there. She absolutely hates it, so I think it works. Things like whining, tho, you really just have to ignore. I tell my kids I can't hear them when they whine, they have to use their big kid voices. My daughter doesn't really understand that yet, but she will. I stick to it so my older son,4.5, doesn't whine very much at all. Save time outs for big offenses, like biting or hitting or not listening when mommy says something is dangerous, and they will be much more effective. But she will get up and try to get out of time out, so you just have to (without speaking to her) put her back in time out. Kind of the supernanny approach. She says one minute for every year of their age, but I would start out slow. Start with one minute until she learns to sit in the time out spot for one minute. Then increase it to two. See how that works.

When kids throw tantrum they're saying 'I can't cope'. So its up to us to give them the time and space to calm down so they can cope, hence time out.

We use the Loge and Logic suggestion and put them in their room. In our case it works really well. Their room is their place to relax and calm down. I don't view being in their room as a punishment necessarily and neither do they at this point, as they will walk themselves to their room when they are upset and need some space. My kids are 2 & 4. Time outs are not supposed to be punishments remember, its a way to remove them from a situation that is getting out of control and they can no longer handle it.

If we are out in public and they begin a meltdown, I get down to their level and gently say, if you can't calm down, we will leave. Only once have I had to leave....

For punishments, we use natural consequences/Love n Logic. If you both kids can't play nicely with a toy, the toy goes away. If they can't play nicely with a friend, we leave. If they can't eat nicely, dinner goes away. Obviously we spend a lot of time discussing expected behaviour so they know beforehand what will get them in trouble.

HTH.

Time out for this age is only effective if done carefully. They are still learning cause and affect, so they may have trouble putting two & two together. You MUST explain why they are there. What is time out for anyway? It removes them from the situation & stops them from playing/ doing what they want to. Who says they have to just sit there and think about how wrong they were. Sit with them, explain the consequences in simple terms, then tell them they can go play when they are ready to make better choices. Let them end the time out.

I carried a small carpet wherever I took my 2 1/2 year old god daughter. That way time out was wherever it needed to be. You have to be consistant and firm, and don't be afraid to time out in public places.

S.,
I have 3 children who are now 21,18,& 16, but when they were young as early as 2 I would give them their own little chair in a corner. No they don't stay, you have to enforce that. I would use a egg timer, if they got up or spoke I would add a minute. They learn (slowly) just to do the time, and when the timer dings they can get up and talk again. My 2 youngest who fought a lot, got as far as a half hour in their chairs, and when the ding on the clock didn't stir them I went to go check on them and both of them had fallen asleep in the chairs. It was really cute and when they woke up they were complete angels the rest of the day. Like I said though you have to enforce the disipline, and at that age it is really difficult especially for you. If your like me it is/was really hard to disipline when your baby is crying, but once you start you can not stop cause they learn really fast even at a young age how to pull or push mommies buttons.
Good Luck
E.

I think it's ok to introduce timeouts when a child is as young as 18 months. Now, they don't quite understand at that time. It takes a lot of repetition. Try a "naughty chair" like on Super Nanny. You might have to physically hold your child on your lap until he understands. I do one minute per year. So, my 18 month old gets one minute and my 5 year old gets 5 minutes. It sounds like you have a good grasp on discipline. Just follow through with your ideas and be firm and consistent and clear.

some kids actually sit in time outs and some don't. my first son rarely stayed put in a time out until he was 4. i had to strap him into the high chair in the hallway with a baby gate up to keep his brother out of his reach, because he would hit his brother, me, the walls, get up and run around the house or throw toys, etc. so i felt that restraining him and separating him from the rest of the family was safest for us. if i tried to hold him to calm him down, he would slam his head against my chest or kick me. he eventually grew out of all that, but it was hard at the time. all my husband had to do was to tell him to sit and he would sit right down wherever my husband pointed until he was told to get up. but he wouldn't do that with me for years. my second son actually sits still a lot for time outs. in the beginning i had to hold him on my lap until he got the idea of staying in one place, but he never got violent. i have my kids sit on the floor because a chair can become a toy or weapon, but i've also considered a little rug to keep them to a more specific area. sometimes if you're really busy with something it's frustrating to stop and go to where you can watch to make sure your kids stay in the time out, especially if they take a long time to calm down. so i chose two corners in the house that are most convenient for me in getting work done while i watch them, ie: next to the kitchen. this way i can focus on something else rather than getting more upset with their bad behavior. so we can both cool down. good luck!

Ok, I have three boys, and I've also done daycare and preschool for 2 year olds. This is what has worked best for me:

1- just ignore them. Go about your daily routine as if you don't notice. Seriously, step over them and lock yourself in your bedroom with the radio on if you have to! After awhile they realize they aren't getting the attention they want. My niece cried for at least an hour every episode every day for a week before the idea finally caught on. But, then it worked like magic.

2- Try to communicate why and what they are feeling BEFORE the tantrum starts. This sounds so "textbook". But, sometimes they are just confused and don't know HOW to express their emotions. Get eye-level with your child and try to talk it out first.

3- My last child had these whining fits that drove me crazy. I would sit him on a chair and count to ten. He wouldn't sit on it, so I had to firmly but not violently hold my hand on him so he wouldn't get off. He learned how to count to ten real fast. With another one of my kids I had to set a timer for 1 minute and not talk to him at all while he was on the chair.

My kids are older now and all I have to do is say the magic phrase "No Nintendo" and they shapen up really fast. Good luck to you!

We use a stair step. Any spot can work though, a spot on the floor, and sometimes I use different places, and sometimes I do use his bed. Sometimes if he's really upset we have to literally hold him there, but he knows that's where he's supposed to be and he knows he gets out faster if he calms down. I don't do by the minute, I let him out the second he calms down. If he's really freaking out I will hold him down in his bed and won't let him hit me. I will hold him until he calms down even if it's a long time and then I will (still holding him) smile and sing and get him to smile too. Then when he's calm I walk out and let him go to sleep, then he understands he's not having to sleep because he's in trouble or mom doesn't like him or something like that.

In any case, remember when you see the 'super nanny', most kids are intimidated by people they don't know and if a stranger tells them authoritatively to do something, they will usually do it. So remember your kids are saving their worst behavior for you (don't take it personally, they're just more comfortable with you, you are not the scary unknown).

Hope that helps!

My son will be 2 in July and he actually does respond very well to being put in the corner. He almost always stays there (unless he is having a real meltdown). We only leave him there for one and a half minutes (roughly equivalent to his age). I have an older child with whom the corner also worked until she was about three and then we started sending her to her room instead because she would just play in the corner.

I am in the middle of reading a good discipline book called '1-2-3 Magic' (by Thomas W. Phelan) that I am really liking. It separates 'Start' behaviors (start cleaning up your room, start doing your homework, etc...) and 'Stop' behaviors (stop whining, stop teasing, etc...) and outlines different discipline for each-- a concept I had not thought of previously. It is a pretty short book but seems to be working for me so far! Good luck.

The time out chair does work if you don't give them anything to entertain them.If I even mention time out to my dd she changes the attitude quickly and she will be 2 in June also. I have a certain chair for time out and I set the microwave timer for minutes, if she gets up and moves she gets 30 seconds added to the time(the only time shes allowed up is to use the potty since we are working on potty training). Don't get me wrong she is a very active child and can push buttons but she does understand when she has gone too far.

I teach 2-3 year olds. What I do, is I have a small child's chair in the corner. It is red. All of the rest of the chairs are blue. The red chair is the time out chair and I just sit them in the chair for at least 2 minutes at most 5. It depends on their age and what they did. They know that the red chair is the time out chair. In fact one time I had a parent sit in it to help his daughter get her things and one child went up to him and said, "you can't sit in the red chair that is for time out and you didn't do anything wrong." I thought it was cute ..:)

I do use the supper nanny technique in that I do explain to the child what they did and why I am putting them in time out. When they are finished, I ask them why they are in time out (if they need help remembering, I help them) and they tell me, then I have them apologize to me, or to the person that they offended.

I would put the whatever you are doing, chair, rug, I have heard some people using a cardboard box for them to sit in. In a place where they cannot play. The bedroom is a bad idea, because a bedroom is where they play and sleep, not where they go when they get in trouble.

I usually have no problems with having the child sit in the chair, if they get up, I just pick them up and put them right back in the chair again, and start the clock over again. Children are smart, they will understand that if they keep getting up they will get put back in. Sometimes they cry, I have had children scream, but when all said and done they end up being much better children when they get out of time out. I have been teaching for three years and I rarely ever have problems with my children in the classroom. I have up to 10 2-3 year olds at one time.

Consistency is the key with any discipline. If you are not consistent the child will get confused and test your limits and neither one of you will be happy.

Good luck...:)

I've used the super nanny method since my daughter was 18 months old. It works like a charm. It is a little time intensive at first, but it works to stop the tantrums in a matter of days. If the child gets out of the naughty corner(spot, chair, step) before the time is up (one minute per year old) then they have to be put back on it and the time starts over. In the beginning you do have to spend maybe 10 minutes each time, putting them back on the spot, but they catch on fast. Check out the super nanny book for the way to do it the best. The approach to telling them the rules and the consequences is really important. Too much to detail here. My daughter is 4 and she still gets "naughty" every few weeks and needs the naughty corner for a couple days, then she straightens out. I use it for whining too. works wonders.

Hi S.,
I think the one minute per age ie. 2 year old gets a 2 minute time out is a good theory and I have friends that worked well for. Personally I gave a time out with 'when you can be nice and you can rejoin me.' Sometimes my son would time out for 30 seconds and come back and be fine sometimes he may take 10 minutes. I like have a seat in the next room as the timeout place. I don't like the bedroom as it has toys and should be a happy place for kids not a place of punishment so I just had a short stool or they could sit on the floor in the next room over from where ever I was working, I could keep an eye on them and they didn't feel to far away from me but were far enough that they had their own space to think.
Have fun,
SarahMM

I have been using time out since my daughter was 14 months and at first we had to sit right by her to insure that she would stay in time-out. She is almost 17 months now and will stay in time out until the timer goes off which is 1 minute and 20 seconds or sometimes just one minute. It has really helepd with tantrums, hitting and any other behavior issues. She started throwing tantrums shortly after she turned one. My pediatrician said to ignore her and that works really well also, but sometimes after a couple tantrums I put her in time out and have had great results. I just use the wall, any wall and it works. Some people use the "notty step" but not every place has stairs and my daughter thinks stairs are a toy.

S.,

I guess it depends on you. Do you want to enforce a time out at this age? I didn't, so we held off until DD was a little older and could understand. I knew that I would just spend all my time chasing her back to her "spot" and getting more and more angry and frustrated with her, not to mention that she would have my complete attention the whole time! One thing that nipped tantrums in the bud was this. I empathized with my daughter and named her feelings for her - "You are MAD at Mommy because you can't have the scissors off the table." Then I gave her an acceptable option. "Scissors can hurt. You can't have scissors, but you can have your dinosaur." If she threw a tantrum, then I would say somthing like "It's okay to be mad, but it's not okay to scream. You hurt Mommy's ears when you scream. If you have to scream, you can go outside or in your room." That way if she really needed to let off steam, she could do it somewhere acceptable. If she progressed to a tantrum, then I calmly picked her up and set her down in her room and told her "It hurts my ears when you scream, so you can scream in your room. When you are all done, you can come out." It took some time, but it worked well for us. Then she knew that if her emotions really were unmanagable, she had an acceptable place to melt down. In fact, one time she sent herself to her room because she told me she was so mad she had to go scream! Hey, let's face it, adults can't even control themselves all the time, so I don't think it's reasonable to expect a 2 year old to do it!

Anyway, you sound like you have a good gut feeling about how you want to parent/discipline, so just go with it. You will find what works best for your daughter. Also, things will change as she gets older. Just stay flexible and do what feels right to you.

Best of luck,
S.

Just remember, only 1 minute of time out per year of age. Your child should only get 2 minutes for time out. I have this from child behavior specialists. Just have a special chair that she has to sit in for 2 minutes.
Please accept this from an experienced Grandma. Don't over do the time out!

Our pediatrician suggested that we put his head against the wall and just count to ten. It's actually worked pretty well for my two and a half year old son. Sometimes it is a bit harder when he's more out of control, but for little things, it does seem to work. Hope this helps. Good luck!

my son is 27 mo now and we've been doing timeouts for a while, they work. Sometimes he gets up from his timeouts, but I dont' talk to him and I sit hiim back in timeout. My pediatrician told me to ignore him too, they feel bad we we ignore them. Like my son pinches sometimes, so I put him down and tell him I won't hold him or talk to him if he's going to hurt mommy. It hurts his feelings.

I have a DS that will be 2 in June too. He does time-outs already - when needed. His big sister has been doing it for a while too. We use a rug that we keep under the couch and pull out when we need it. We are sure to set a timer, so they know (and we know) when time is up - one minute for each age. We are also always sure to explain why they were in time-out, have them apologize to whomever they need to and then give big loves and forget it and move on. If they do get off the rug, we put them back and time starts over again - until they stay. If it gets really bad, they go to their bed or room to calm down (DS is still in a crib and can't get out, so he is stuck there).
Our DS is a red head that has the temper to match, so we know how things can get sometimes. If it is done right - calmly and consistently, then time-outs will work! We have friends that say 3 minutes, but never watch the clock - sometimes their kids are there longer sometimes shorter - that is not fare to the child because they will never know what to expect.
Anyway, good luck!

They can absolutely handle it! We started time outs with all of our kids around 20 months of age. My youngest, (turned 2 in March) actually was excited the first time he got time out! He'd seen his two older sisters do it and wanted in on the action. I have a timer (time out buddy) that is sitting next to our time out chair. They get 1 minute of time out for every year of age. They have to sit in it. At the end of their time we talk about what happened and they have to say sorry to me for their behavior and sorry to anyone else that was hurt. And they all sit. They know the rules and know how it works and it has been really remarkable to see how they each respond. Good luck!

There is no one right way to do it - I'll just tell you what worked for me. I have a 4 yr old girl & a 2 yr old boy. I started using baby time outs as young as 1 year. If they hit or bite, I would just say no and then turn my back on them for 30 seconds. Amazingly, even at that age, they got the message and learned that that behavior was not acceptable. I started using real time outs in a corner with no entertainment - but where my kids can still see me - at about 18 months. My daughter, who was more verbally developed, always stayed in time out from the beginning. My son took some work. By 2 yrs, he was staying in time out by himself. Before that, if he got out, I would gently pick him up & take him back. While my kids are in time out they will do everything to try to get our attention. I just ignore everything they do or say. I also use 1 minute per year of age. It has worked very well for us. I also use it only for hitting, biting and disrespectful behavior (defying parents). Other than that, we go with natural consequences whenever possible. The room thing never worked for us because they have toys & books in there. It didn't seem to deter bad behavior because they saw it as a kind of reward - they just got to go play & didn't care if we put them in their room.

Pick a time out spot in you house where you can see your child, Tell her why she is being put in time out and if she screams thats ok ignore it. I use one minute oer year of age so 2min for your child. When the 2 min is up explain why she was in time out and reassure her that you love her. Works for me.

Hi,
When we've used time-outs, we have set a timer so our son knows when it's over. If he gets up before the timer rings, he has to start again. We don't have a specific "time-out chair" or anything. We either have him sit on the bottom step of our staircase or he just sits in a chair in a different room from the one we're in.
Lately, I've started sending him to his room--this seems to work to diffuse the situation and pretty soon he's a happy camper and will apologize for his poor behavior. I feel time-outs emphasize the need (we all have) to back off and have some time for ourselves.
I agree about not using the bed!

I've been told by many early childhood experts that one can not expect a 2 yr old to understand discipline. I've been advised to redirect the child's energy to disapate the problem. Also I've been told that a child really doesn't understand reasoning until 3 1/2 yrs to 4 yrs old.
As for temper tantrums, it's best to remove the child from the area, to a quieter place and if needed sit and gently hold the child 'til they calm down. Using very short and simple sentences to talk to the child works best.
Don't try and reason as your words will just sound like blah, blah, blah to them. For example: Jonny, stop hitting. (not "Jonny stop hitting because you're hurting Jane......)
This doesn't mean you talk simple to your child all the time, only at times you need to get thru to the child.
Good luck and many blessings....

I used time out with my kids and that worked well. However remember that to little ones a couple of minutes can seem like forever. The purpose of a timeout should be to calm down, think about what you are doing and find a better way to behave. When they were really little timeout was sitting in a corner quietly, they could have a book, I would very briefly explain that they had to sit there until they could, "play nicely", "be more polite", or "not scream" whatever the inappropriate behavior was. I would occasionally ask, "are you ready to leave time out?" They knew that if the behavior continued they would be back in timeout and sometimes would say, no they weren't ready. When I was feeling frazzled or felt my temper wearing thin I would tell them, "Mama, needs some time to calm down, I'm having a timeout. Nobody bother me for 5 minutes." And I would pick up a book or sit down and close my eyes. The kids left me alone then. Now as teens, when they feel irritable or unsocial, they will quietly go to their room and read a book or something to get their balance back. This makes it a coping skill rather than a punishment.

There is really good Berenstein Bears book on tantrums. I don't remember the name. Maybe the Get the Gimmes or something like that. But we used those books a lot for the fun lessons. When we saw another child having a tantrum, I'd say something about them acting like the child in the story. One time my 4 yr old daughter watched a child in the store having a tantrum and said, "Well Mama, that's not very attractive!" So stories do help teach.

Never tell your child they are bad or naughty - it's the behavior that is unacceptable - not them. My son was often tougher to get through to and I would take a favorite toy to get his attention. It would go way up in the top of a closet. There were a couple of times when he ended up without much to play with but when he earned a toy back by changing his behavior it was like getting something new. Watch out for intollerable situations. Children get tired or hungry or overstimulated and then they need a loving way to unwind. If they are trying to do something and just can't get it you may have to give a hand. Another area to watch out for is sharing. When your freinds come over do they et to go through all your stuff and help themselves? Kids need to know they don't have to share everything. When freinds were coming over I'd ask if there was anything special they didn't want to share today? Usually there were one or two special things that got put away. The kids were very thoughtful about this - they would reason that a certain child was rougher on toys than another and plan accordingly. Doing this allowed them to enjoy a friend's visit without strife. Your job is to teach them to become effective people, you have to let them give things a good try but don't let them get so frustrated that they give up. It's good to know that sometimes the best thing to do is put something away for a while, until we can deal with it calmly. Your behavior is a model for them. Are you acting the way you want them to act?