Seeking Any Parents Point of View, Please Help!

In high school, the students are supposed to deal with their concerns, not their moms. The Principal will call him in and have HIM tell the story.. You are second hand information.

It is the first thing the Principal is going to ask him..
"Did you tell the Gym teacher this upset you or concerned you?"

If he is not willing.. then he needs to let it go..

Let it go...

You weren't there. He is 16 years old. 16 year olds (or anyone, really) are known for tweaking stories so that they look 100% like the victim, when it usually isn't what it seems. There are 2 sides to every story & the truth is usually somewhere in between.

Thank you everyone, I think Hazels advice works best for me. And V.M. I think you and that gym teacher make a good pair! What does my fear of him being sexually active have anything to do with this?

Don't forget, it is second hand information. Your MIL is right. This is not a battle worth your time.

Odd comment, but nothing to stew over. Let it go. Your son's side of the story isn't necessarily going to be 100% accurate. (Not that I'm accusing him of lying. Teenagers simply interpret things really differently.)

What do you plan on accomplishing, by not letting it go. What is there to DO about an asinine comment like that? Really, there is nothing. Besides wasting your energy I suppose.

L.,

How does your son feel about it? If it bothers him, let HIM go to the principal, he is 16. I know that we as parents don't want our children's spirits crushed, but if it's not a big deal to him, don't make it one. Let it go.

He will deal with more people like this in his life, ya know?

I think her comment is odd and doesn't make much sense in that context. But I'd shrug it off as a stressed out gym teacher. I'd tell your son if it continues to bother him, to go tell that teacher what she said offended him. She will either apologize or defend herself. Unless she really goes off and continues to say such negative things to him, I wouldn't take it any further up the line. At least your son will have made his feelings clear. If it just bothers you, but not him, I think you should try to let it go.

Have you heard the teacher's version of what happened? Until you do you're getting worked up over nothing. Your son could be telling you something out of context, or maybe he's mad at his teacher and trying to get her in trouble. Who knows? If you're so concerned then give her a call, hear what she has to say about it.
As I said earlier today, every story has TWO (sometimes more) sides. You shouldn't pass judgement until you have ALL the facts :(

You know, if it really upset me and it still bothered me after the weekend was over, I'd check in with the teacher before talking to her superiors. This sounds strange and if it were my son, I'd want to double-check the story.

When I first skimmed your post, the phrase "hmm...big bug" stood out to me as possibly being mistaken as "big butt". Reading through the second time, it seemed strange, just because teachers don't usually expect children to touch them (or remove bugs, so why did she have that expectation?).

Certainly, if your conversation with the teacher leads you to think there is something amiss, talk to the principal. It just seems a strange conversation for a teacher to be having in front of a peer teacher and another student. Puzzling... Otherwise, let it go.

Strange things happen in this world on a daily basis, and unless you think this teacher is singling your son out particularly, it's a good opportunity to teach resilience. Or perhaps he could go talk to the teacher himself and ask if there was a misunderstanding? He's at an age that this might be a good experience for him to work out if there was a misunderstanding... or perhaps she would apologize, too. There's only one way to find out.

Um, no he shouldn't have taken the bug off. The expectation that students don't touch the teacher trumps the bug.

It doesn't make sense to me. Two sides to every story and really not a huge deal.
I do get why it gets under your skin. It seems she was either rude or strange, but you should probably just let it go.

i would sit down with the teacher.

Frankly, I would wonder why the teacher thought a high school boy should be taking a bug off her sweatshirt, especially without talking to the teacher first.....

If he had reached over and touched her sweatshirt, without any warning, she could have said he was touching her inappropriately.

BTW.... when I read that she turned around and said "that wasn't very nice" .... I thought that maybe she misheard what he said, and heard him say... " hmmmm..... big butt"....... but then I saw the part about her saying he should have taken the bug off..... oops!

But.... as others have said, teenagers tend to interpret things differently... not saying he is lying, or fabricating it, but I would chalk it up to her being a rather strange teacher to make a comment like that!

She was freaked out.
I know I totally turn into a NINJA when I get a bee or wasp on me.
Let it slide.

He's 16. Of course he shouldn't be a father.

Duh.

:)

You should let it go, but GOSH what a stupid immature teacher!!!!

I don't know if I would let that go. That kind of behavior is alright in Wal-Mart, and in that instance you should let it go, but I that is not appropriate behavior for a teacher, I'm sorry. She probably goes around speaking to students like that all the time and has no qualms about doing it, obviously.

I would say something. I am not one to just let things go when it comes to unhinged teachers and my child.

the teacher was out of line for that comment.

I personally would email the teacher and simply put.. You telling my son for any reason that he shouldn't be a father was out of line under any circumstance. You were out of line on saying that. The more I think of it, Im beginning to question you teaching high school students if comments like that are going to come out of your mouth... all over a bug.
I hope you agree and think also that an apology to my son should be made.

If she has anything else to add she can contact you. Hopefully being called out she will think about it and do the right thing and apologize to your son! If she doens't just let it go and not let it turn into a tit for tat battle.

Wow. I was really confused for a minute. I had to reread this a few times, because I didn't understand WHO she was saying that to. I thought maybe I missed that another teacher was walking with him maybe? Then I finally "got" it and figured out that she was implying that he would not make a good father someday................ duh. Okay. Whatever. It was stupid, out of line, and wrong. I'm actually really surprised that he remembred it all day and told you about it. In his day full of events and things that went on at school, I would think this would rate right up there with some kid spilled their milk on the cafeteria floor and he had to buy a new one. (sorry, but I can't imagine most 16 yr old boys getting all THAT upset about it) If your SON is really bothered by the comment, then HE should go to the principal and talk to them about it. The teacher was wrong, 100% for sure. Was there probably way more to what actually happened and what you heard second hand from your son was just his version of the story, sure. He was telling you what he felt were the important details from a teenage boys point of view, NOT telling any lies, but teens can and DO leave out imformation. I think the teacher was really freaked out, probably doesn't like bugs, and said the wrong thing for sure. I'm willing to bet if she (or he) was called out on it your son would get an apology. It may have even been said in a joking or sarcastic way, which is really no excuse, because it's still inappropriate. I think if it were me I would let it go and leave it up to my son to deal with it if he was truly upset. :)
What I DO want to know is how the heck did you respond to your own question though??? That is weird! LOL

I wouldn't make a big deal about it but her comment was definitely very odd.

It certainly sounds ummmm a bit strange. How bizarre. I would document it and then let it go. Unless there's another incident ....then yea I'd have a talk with her superior. Maybe she was having a bad day ( not to excuse it ) but sometimes days like that happen and it dosen't make you a bad person; you just had a bad moment.

It was inappropriate for her to say, and I think I would speak to the principal about it. If no one speaks up about her attitude, she'll just keep treating kids that way.

Dawn

The teacher is suppose to act as a role model not an idot. It's rather too bad. She sure did jump to conclusions, not only that, what makes her think she's his judge. He's 16!
Just tell your son to chalk it up to some people just don't think before speaking and let it go.
I wouldn't like it either.

L., follow your MIL's advice. There are so many more things that you REALLY have to worry about. Sounds like the teacher is pretty immature anyway, to say that to l. A student 2. A 16 year old that is no where near a time in his life that he will be a father (hopefully). Maybe if you see her at conferences you can ask her why she said it, but if it were me, I'd just tell my son that sometimes people say stupid stuff. And it helps him, as he is maturing, to know when to open your mouth, and when to keep it shut.

This teacher was definitely out of line. Personally, I'd let it go. I'm guessing that your son is a sophomore or junior, so he has some time before he graduates? I would encourage him to avoid this teacher as best as he can because if you pursue this issue, you may cause him problems at school.

Just my opinion.

thats just weird.. what does not liking bugs have to do with being a father.. that doesnt even make sense .. i would just chalk it up to that particular gym teaching being a freakin weirdo and let it go

His gym teacher was inappropriate and unprofessional. I'd call or email her and ask her for her side of the story and correct her in a more proper way to respond to a teenage male student of hers. If she's not told she was inappropriate she'll think it's ok and do it or worse again. She needs to be reminded of her position as a teacher.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

I think the gym teacher was completely inappropriate and should not have said that, for sure.

I'm sure she is looking forward to the end of the school year and has probably had her fill of teenagers, and probably just lost it. Who knows what is going on in her personal life - maybe her husband or ex-husband is a bad father and she's projecting it on your son. Does not make it right, but could be the reason.

If it continues, which is won't because the school year is coming to a close, then you will need to report it.

I would listen to your MIL. Your son has probably had worse said to him in his 11 years of schooling and this is just the one you heard about.