Seeking Advice on How to Keep 2 Yr Old in His Own Bed

I would never tell him to go back to his bed, if he wants to sleep with you take him and snuggle and go back to sleep together, enjoy the moment of him wanting to be with you, it won't last forever..as you can read in some other posts on the site, they do grow up fast. he must miss you and wants to be next to you, don't look at it as a problem, its a great thing.

I have a 4 year old who did the same thing, I use a sticker chart. I let him pick out what the prize will be and he loves it. I started with just 2 nights and I bought some cheap little toys and we have worked up to 7 nights and he gets a movie, bowling, video game etc. Start small so he understands there is a reward after so many stickers, I felt if you start with too many nights he would have lost interest. Good luck.

Is letting him stay in your bed unacceptable? Really, it was the only way I ever got any sleep with 3 kids. I have a 4 mo old currently who sleeps half the night in his bed, and then half the night in bed with me, along with my 3 year old on the other side of me. You guessed it, husband was pushed out a long time ago! LOL But it works for us, everyone gets sleep. Husband doesn't mind because he gets off "night duty" and gets sleep for him going to work the next day. I have no idea if this would work for you, with your work schedule, but it wouldn't hurt any to try different sleep arrangements to see what fits your family.

I really hope you find your solution.. a sleepless mommy is an unhappy mommy. It took a few months for us to figure out what worked for us, and now I honestly wouldn't have it any other way, and I have alot more patience now during the day!

My son went through this, around the same age, and for him it was just a phase that had to run its course.....nothing really worked for us, except for my husband and I sharing/trading off on the repeated tuck-ins during the night. Good luck....
- J. D.

I too am a mom of a restless 2 year-old who has ended up in our bed for the last few months-started after we switched to the toddler bed. Try to let him stay up a little longer and wake a little earlier. He will be very tired at first but that in turn will help him sleep harder through the night. Soon he will be used to being on his own.

R.,

I can't give you any advise but I just created my blog on 4/4 with the same issue.... My daughter will be 3 in July and wakes up at any where after 12AM from her bed crying.. she has had her "big girl" bed since last May and I don't thing one time she has slept thru the night in her bed! I feel you! I am 32 yr old FT working mommy as well... all I can say is GOOD LUCK. If you find out something I don't know, let me know! LOL!!! I give you alot of credit for already having 2 kids! We are poss. thinking of another next year! Take care.

Hi R. ... this is probably opposite of the advice you were hoping for, but I went through this with both of my children and finally decided it was easier on me to just let them fall asleep in my bed when the awoke in the middle of the night. Initially my husband wasn't thrilled, but the option was that I'd end up sleeping by the kids' beds, which was worse. After a while, it got to the point that we wouldn't even wake up when they came in (unless my daughter moved my husband far away from me ... lol) My son is now a teenager, so he's obviously not doing this anymore ... but my daughter's a kindergartender and only does it when she awakens before alarm. Good luck, J.

What worked for us with our 3-year old is what Maria described below (co-sleeping is not an option for us at this age, although we did it when she was younger). "The Human Gate" consistently. That is, we just kept putting her back in bed without conversation or eye contact. Over and over. It seems like forever, but then she stayed in her own bed in less than a week. What kept tripping us up was that we kept changing our responses (sometimes we'd lie down with her to help to get to sleep, sometimes we would get angry, sometimes we'd ignore her, sometimes we'd hold the door closed). When we actually discussed with her our strategy, told her what we would be doing, expressed lots of love but made our boundaries clear, and stuck to it, she mostly stopped wandering around and getting out of bed, as she wasn't getting a reaction from us.

Good luck,

--E.

Hi R.-
I had this problem with my son too. What worked for us was to put a small air mattress or even a sleeping bag, next to the bed in our room. When our son wanted to be close to us, we just put him down on the floor in his own little bed and that seemed to be close enough for his security, but didn't interrupt our sleep as much. I hope this helps. Good luck to you.
M.

We have the same problem with our three-year-old. We are going to try locking our door during the next school vacation (so his screams won't wake our two school-age daughters) with the hope that when he can't get in our bed, he'll stay in his own by default. I may also try sleeping with him in his bed for a few nights. BUt I would LOVE to hear any other advice.

R.,

consistency with putting him back in his bed, even at the expense of loosing sleep. Assure him that you love him and send him on his way. If you do not do this each and everytime he will keep returning. It is a learned response now, like Pavlov's Dogs salivating at the bell.

My son who is now 5 went through that I would sometimes let him stay just so I could sleep... wrong move. Instead of a few days it took almost 3 months before I saw a consistent pattern where he'd remain in his bed. I am also a teacher so know the morning feeling with the kids!

Bottom Line: Simply tell him to go back to his bed, or walk him back, no words neccesary other than tucking him in with a kiss an I love you, and good night. Consistent and firm just like Super Nanny will eventually work, but get some cream for those dark circles under the eyes...SMILE

S. A.

Hi R.,
I noticed that what my daughter wanted was to feel snuggled more than just wanting us. I got her a really soft yummy blanket and a nice bigger teddy bear. For the first few days I would let her sleep with us adding the blanket and teddy. Every night I would mentioned to her that she got these items because she was a big girl and she would need to use them by herself. A week later we put her in her crib with the blanket and teddy. And slowly the coming to bed with us stopped. She cuddles with her bears and/or pillow now. Only when she's sick is it mommy/daddy time.
Just remeber to be consistant and don't back down- it takes 7 days to make something a habit and your kid will tire you out fast. Hope this advise helps.

R.,

My son also does the same thing. He usually comes into our bed around 5a.m. now. At this time, I have left him in our bed. I tried the return to bed task and after awhile it is exhausting and I would not sleep which would be even more dangerous as I could not function properly at times. I have actually looked at it this way. My son will eventually become an age when he will not want to cuddle or it would not be appropriate to have him sleep in same bed with his mom. So, I will allow it at this time and as he gets older to have to make those changes.
My daughter, also cherishes to cuddle with her mom. She is 7 and once a week, she gets to cuddle and sleep with her mom. She has been doing this for the past two years and it has taught her the days of the week, she even likes to change the day of the week. My kids are growing up faster each day and I want to take the moments I can with them.

Sorry- probably did not solve your problem but I did that whole returning to bed for my daughter also and she outgrew it by 4 and then we started the 1X a week special cuddle day.
Which is probably the best night of sleep I get because my snoring husband then sleeps in another bed!!

Jenn

I lived through this "phase" with both of my kids when they were around 3 years old....it was just wonderful (haha). I am a person that needs my sleep, but I also did not want my children in the bed with me. I put a blanket and pillow on the floor next to my bed and they were allowed to come sleep there, but never in the bed. My daughter went through the phase quickly (I guess she realized it was stupid to sleep on a hard cold floor when she ha a nice warm bed 20 feet away). My son was a little more stubborn and for about 6 months he woke up every night and went back to sleep on the floor in my room. Then all of a sudden one day it stopped. The rule always was if they were going to be noisy and want to talk, or cry or they were interrupting my sleep in any way they would be taken right back to their beds. It worked well for us...no crying or spending hours in the middle of the night trying to get them to go back to sleep and they outgrew it in their own time. Good luck!!

We had the same problem with our oldest son around that age also. I made a blanket bed on the floor next to our bed and we explained to him that if he needed to get up and come in our room then he could sleep on the floor next to us but not in our bed. He didn't like the idea of sleeping on the floor so we had some nights where he just cried and cried, but eventually he did stop coming in. It did take a long time, but this worked for us. He is now 6 and sleeps fine in his own bed all night. Good luck!!

Hi R.-
How did you do it with the 1st child?
Some people try to give the child a special teddybear or blanket "just for the child's" bed.....
This has worked on my neices and nephews 10x over. (Normally I made the blanket!, So it was Special!)They got to pick out the pattern too! 90% did....
Maybe a music box that they can activate (to keep them distracted in their room.
Or some books that they can have by their bed to look at instead of cuddling in w/ mommy.
Hopefully this helps! J.

I have a 3 year old that occasionaly wakes up still in the middle of the night, just wanting to know that I am there, and she rolls over and touches my hair and we both fall back to sleep. I co-sleep. I did with my first born as well. My first child went into her own bed when she was 3 on her own. My second one, is still in bed with us. It is a lot easier, and you get more sleep, not to mention the bonding and connection you feel with your child is amazing. If co-sleeping is not for you, then I would suggest, just trying to make him feel safe and secure as possible in his bed, or just let him jump in with you, tat way everyones gets the sleep they are craving. Hope this helps, and good Luck

I literally JUST nipped this issued in the bud with my 2 yr old about a month ago. She's going to be three in July. Couple suggestions, cuz we tried EVERYTHING. First I'll tell you what eventually worked; we got her a "big girl" bed. She was in a toddler bed up until this point, now she's in a full size bed (which is what her crib converted too) and it was the answer to my prayers. I went thru the same thing, 4 - 5 times a night with her getting up, except she was telling me she was scared. Try talking to him and asking him why he wants to come in mommy and daddy's bed. Try giving his room a makeover, favorite theme, and have him help pick it out. It may be different with a son, he may not be as interested, but its worth a shot!! Let us know how you make out. I know it can be so difficult getting up all hours of the night and having to work!! I have a 4 month old son along with my daughter and work full time!! If at first you don't succeed, try and tray again, and as with everything dealing with child rearing, this too shall pass!!! Good luck!

Try putting a baby gate up so he can't get that far, and just keep putting him back in his own bed. Have you ever seen the T.V. show Nanny 911...that is a common problem with a lot of parents that are on that show, and it seems that it is the easiest to solve and I would not have believed it if I didn't see it myself. She instructed the parents to send him back to the bed the first time, talking to him to reassure the child that you love him, and it is time for sleeping in his own bed. Then the next time, don't say anything, just put him back. With even the toughest little creatures, and believe me two year olds are the toughest..it worked. Most of the time the first night is a two hour fight. Then the next night it is less than an hour, then a half hour, then it is over.

Hi R.,
We had the same problem with our daughter at that age...It was a battle EVERY single night for over a year...screaming, yelling, tantrums blah blah blah...we finally gave in and allowed her to sleep on our floor in her sleeping bag. She did fine. When my son turned 2 1/2, we put him in a big boy bed (actually 2 twin beds are in his room), so now the kids share a room and she does fine.
Lindsay HATES to be alone...so that was the root of the problem with her getting out of bed all the time.
Hope this helps...
PS - He will outgrow it, it just takes time. And when you're tired it seems to take a LONG time!
Best Wishes,
-Jill

Hi, try getting your son a car bed, boys love them. It makes them feel special. Good luck.

My son and daughter did the same thing. The only way to get him to stay in his bed is to be consistant and not give in and let him go into bed with you. Do your normal routin at night with him reading book etc. and kiss him good night and let him know that he has to stay in his bed and not go into your room. When he does do it which he will try... (kids are stubborn)tell him he has to stay in his bed and say nothing else and walk him over to his room. The next time he does it say it again and do it again(don't conversate and don't answer his questions) the next time he does it don't say anything at all even if he's asking you something or crying and continue doing that. he will eventually give up trying. This will go on for about 1week. It's definitely hard that first week or so but it will be worth it when you put him to bed one day and he just simply falls asleep without getting up.:) Trust me it will be hard but it will be worth it. it's important to do it now and not wait till he's older because then it just get's harder to teach them. Just make sure that your husband is on the same page as you (you don't need anyone saying "oh just let him in the bed")-M.

I had the same problem. I have been working with rewards with my daughter. I would prompt her before she went to bed that if she stays in bed the whole night...when she wakes up in the morning she will get a prize. Simple inexpensive things work anything really. I got her a packet of Grow Animals. The ones that you through in the water and expand into an animal, dinosaur or bugs. They run about a $1.00 in Michaels Craft stores or even supermarkets sometimes have them. They come about 10 in a pack so she gets to pick a color and she gets one every time she stays in bed. I make a big deal out of it to really want her to get more. It worked for me of course once in a while she still climbs in but for the most part I get my sleep!! Hope this helps.