Seeking Advice on How to Get a 13 Month Old to Nap

My 14 month old naps in the sling. She takes a good nap and I can move around and get things done. She is never cranky when she wakes up either. Try an over the shoulder baby holder, or a kangaroo korner pouch. I have also seen some inexpensive ring slings from babyland on ebay that look great.
Self soothing may be fine for some, but I prefer my baby to learn that I am there for her when she needs me. And they only need you for so short a time in their lives and then that time is over forever. Cherish it while you have it.

Hi C.,

It has been a long time since I had similar issues with my daughter but perhaps some things I tried may work for you too. My daughter didn't like to go down for a nap, but if I walked her or drove her she would sleep and the walks or jogs gave me time to exercise too. Fortunately, my daughter would go into a deep sleep and I could park the car and remove the seat or park the stroller and she would sleep on. I found that when it was quiet she would not sleep as well, but when she heard me talking or some radio or TV noise she would sleep better. On occasion she would even sleep through an entire movie or concert. It was as if the noise gave the comfort of knowing people were nearby. The other thing that helped, particularly if my daughter was cranky or over-tired was a little herbal chamomille tea or chamomille extract from the health food store. Good luck in getting some time for yourself. ~J

maybe it's the noise? I have a 6 month old in daycare and when he is sleeping, another baby is inevitably always screaming. He has had to learn to sleep through the noise so when he comes home and it is very quiet, I find it works best to play some white noise (we just use the static on the radio).

What environment did they have her sleep in at her daycare? Was it a pack and play instead of a crib? What time of day? What kind of lighting? Was there lullaby's playing? Try and get the same kind of surroundings that she is used to and she'll go back to napping!

I would say that consistency is key for you. I would either let her cry or else let her nap in the stroller or car or in your arms.
If you do let her cry, I know it is hard to hear her cry for a long time -- I also have trouble with this. But, I have found the only way to get a child to sleep in a crib is to realize there will be some crying involved. I personally can only do it if I go in every 5 minutes and tell my child that it is time to go to sleep and rub his back, etc for a very short period. At 1 year old, I bet your child is getting close or already understands language. And I bet she has the skills to stay asleep for longer since she did this at daycare. I would just make sure she is not teething or sick before going this route.
After age 1, I feel less guilty about the child crying, because you are at the point where you have to set limits, etc. and sleep is a part of this. But, I do think that it is a something that you can do gently. I also have a white noise machine and play music during nap which I think also helps a lot. Or, since you are going back to work, you can always not worry about it and know that at daycare she will be back to her regular napping schedule. Good luck!!!! : )

I'm wondering how exactly you tried letting her cry it out. I have successfully used this method with both my boys, and with the first one it was quite easy. He didn't cry for long (at a time), although it took a few weeks before he didn't cry at all. With the second, it was different. I really wondered whether my method was not working and whether I was just being horribly mean. He was so upset, and so persistant and stubborn. He would cry for an hour! It was agony for both of us. But it took -- I kid you not -- only three days before he was not crying at all when I put him down for a nap. The key, I think, was that I stuck it out, even for as long as an hour, and that I kept going back in to reassure him that I was still there but let him know that he did have to go to sleep. I did not take him out of the crib, just went and talked to him briefly and said that I knew he didn't want to sleep but that he did have to take a nap. Then I waited longer and longer periods between my entries. Eventually, he did go to sleep, and now he's still a good napper (this was more than a year ago that I originally tried letting him cry it out).

So I would say that your daughter has learned that whenever she cries, you come and get her. If she wakes up after 20 min of napping in her crib, try waiting at least 15 min before you go to get her. See whether she quiets down. Or try setting a time of how long she will need to be in her crib. Say, an hour. Put her down for a nap and then don't go back in for an hour, even if she wakes up. Of course, if she is screaming and you think there might really be something wrong, you'll want to check on her, but just check and tell her it's still naptime -- don't pick her up.

I know a lot of people think cry-it-out is just mean, but it's really the best gift you can give yourself and your baby. Babies need to learn how to put themselves to sleep or they will have sleep issues all through their lives. It will be a few days or a few weeks of trauma, but in return you get years of peace and good sleep habits. My mother still believes her sleeping issues could be related to the fact that her mother rocked her to sleep when she was a child!

I hope you find something that works. As you say, you need naptime, too!

She might be going through an adjustment period to changing to one nap. That is about the age that my son switched to one nap and it took a while to figure it out. Hopefully it will happen soon and you will get that nice long break at some point in your day!

She has learned that if she screams you will pick her up and she can sleep in your arms - what a dream for a little one...
I would suggest that if you can't let her cry it out then stick with the stroller or car - if you hold her she will not learn to self sooth - this will turn into her not being able to sleep unless you are there! This from a woman who's 6 YEAR OLD still comes into her bed everynight! All babies will eventually cry themselves to sleep - it just takes a thick skin to be able to listen to your little one cry...