6 Month Old Baby Who Will Not Nap During the Day!!!

Updated on April 12, 2008
M.A. asks from Orange, CA
29 answers

Please help with any suggestions. My 6 month old daughter does not nap during the day since she was 3 months old. She is usually ok up until the late afternoon. Once pure exhaustion kicks in she will scream her head off until someone picks her up and when she finally falls asleep in someones arms (usually from nursing) and she is put into her crib her eyes pop right open as if she was just joking. The only time she will fall asleep is in the car seat sometimes (when she is not screaming her head off)and I am able to get the car seat out and put her in her quiet room. She sleeps fine during the night but for some reason she will not nap at all during the day. She is an extremely light sleeper I guess. This would not be so bad however me and my husband both work from home and this is wearing thin on both of us. The last option that works sometimes is letting her scream it out for 10 minute cycles until she finally falls asleep.

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for everyones help. So far so good. Not sure if it was just me having to verbalize my concerns but shortly after posting this she started to sleep better. As a matter of fact she is knocked out right now. Thanks everyone!!!

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J.D.

answers from Reno on

Six month old babies should be taking three naps a day. I would lay her down at the same time every day (let her cry for 10 minutes if she sleeps after that) and after a while, she'll know that it's time to sleep when you put her in the crib. Happy napping! :)

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B.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I used a swing for my one daughter. She took all her naps in a swing for a good long time. Babies need thier rest and so do parents.
Or maybe if you put together an afternoon routine before bed like you would do at night then maybe she would go to sleep easier for you.
If she is anything like my three girls, she is nosey and does not want to miss out on anything. That makes it harder.
I hope i could help. Good luck
B.

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J.P.

answers from Las Vegas on

My grandson use to do that too. My daughter has put a radio on country station and the music will relax him. Put the music on low. She has it on for night time too. It has helped, so try it out and let me know how it goes.

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L.H.

answers from San Diego on

Hey M.,
I am not sure if this will help, but how about putting a table fan somewhere in the room to provide a subtle yet soothing background noise? It helped my kids. It provides a constant hum and filters out some background sounds that might wake up light sleepers. I started using the fan because my husband is a SUPER light sleeper and that is what he always used. He tried those white noise things and other stuff but the fan was the only thing that worked.
But I think that as hard as it is, letting them cry a little is a good option too. It's hard as a mom to hear them cry, but they need to nap, not only for their well being, but for ours too!
Good luck!

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M., I am sure you have tried everything, but here goes anyway. Try to get a routine going. Feed her, play with her, and at set times each day put her down in her crib. Also, we have a small fan in out 7 month old baby's room. It is purely for white noise. It is not on her, just so that she can hear the constant noise. I think it helps her sleep and it definately helps with any household noises. We also let our little on have a small doll, or lovie, in the crib. Once we set her in there, she hugs the lovie and sucks her thumb. This reasures us that she is tired. The biggest thing I can suggest is the routine. This also includes putting her down at night at the same time and getting her up in the morning at the same time as well. Good luck to you and I hope you get some advise that works:)

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H.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was wondering, have you tried putting her to sleep on her tummy? My oldest son would do that 'fall asleep on the shoulder' thing and would scream the minute we put him in his crib. It turns out that he liked the pressure on his cheek and tummy when he was sleeping. And this was a baby who hated tummy time! Also, now that she is 6 months old and presumably can turn herself over, SIDS isn't a worry. So, that may do the trick.

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N.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I work at home as well. My daughter was somewhat the same, in that we used to have to take a nap drive or a walk in the stroller, she would fall asleep and I would "transfer" her to her to a crib. I found she actually sleep better if she was near me and could hear noise, rather than a it being totally quite. Remember she used to sleep in your stomach with all the noise and rumbling. Sometimes I would take her for a walk she would fall asleep in the stroller and I would just leave her there next to me, where she could hear what was going on, and than she would sleep for 2 or 3 hours in the afternoon.

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L.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

I followed parts of Baby Wise, great book. The key with my son was consistency. ALso, I found that I had to do all my errands in the a.m. so he was home by lunch time, then nap right after. Once I got on a regular schedule and put him down at the sametime DAILY it worked great. Also, the crying for 10 min... works IF you're consistent with it and they know you won't come get them. If you give up one day and go get her, she'll think that will work everytime... Good luck. I don'tk now what I'd do w/o a good napper.

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V.A.

answers from Santa Barbara on

M.,

My thought about letting her scream is that you're teaching her that she has no power and that you won't be there to meet her needs. Since she can't talk, screaming is her way of communicating that she needs something. Maybe that something is just not to be left alone. It's hard when you both are working but sometimes, baby does interrupt your life. Maybe you can hire a sitter to take her for walks during which she may nap. Every child is different and you must learn to adapt to her. She's really too young to adapt to you.

V.

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M.M.

answers from Honolulu on

I don't have any answers, but I do have a lot of empathy. I have a 7 1/2 month old daughter who will only take little cat naps in the car. As much as she rubs her eyes in the late afternoon, try as I may, she refuses to take a nap. By late afternoon she is often rather cranky, and feeding her dinner can sometimes be difficult. The only solace I take from this situation is that she sleeps very well during the night, and from what you wrote, it seems as though your little girl does as well. If you receive any good advice, could you please pass it on! I too work from home, and could use an hour or so to get something done!

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M.S.

answers from San Diego on

Hi there,
Your baby is just 6 months old - so young to be trying to control her sleep habits. All 3 of my babies had different sleep habits, one who also didn't nap during the day, unless while driving in the car. You are very lucky that she sleeps well at night! Maybe rather than looking at her as an inconvenience, one who interferes with "your" work schedule, just give her you, all of you. This is why we bring babies into the world, because we want them! I'm sorry if I sound strong on this, but I am tired of reading emails from mothers who make it as though their children are an inconvenience, a bother, and interuptions to their lifestyles. If we mothers put our children first it would eliminate many of these "so called" problems. Maybe you or your husband can do your work at night while your precious-one sleeps. Just a thought!

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S.M.

answers from Las Vegas on

I had a similar problem with my son. The thing that seemed to help the most was that we started swaddling him again. I think he has a strong startle reflex and when we swaddle him, he was able to keep from jerking himself awake. We still swaddle him now and he is almost 14 months old. We also darkened his room, bought a noise machine and play soft music during nap time. We also read a book right before nap time and get him ready in his room to help quiet and calm him down. He has been a good napper ever since we started doing these things. Good luck!

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E.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

You mentioned that it does work if you let her cry it out. I suggest that you continue just letting her cry it out, and what should happen is that she will cry less and less, until she realizes that no one is going to come get her during her crying and she should sleep easier. I know it is very hard listening to your baby cry, but it is really the best thing for them to learn, which is how to self soothe. Give it a try, you should find that it solves the problem.

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T.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had the same exact problem with my son who is now 3!!! Drove me crazy since I know babies need to nap. Here is what I did:

I put him down at the same exact time for his a.m. nap at 10am and let him cry it out. After about 10-20 mins. he fell asleep. Even if he fell asleep for 20mins. I aloud him to wake up (only if I knew that he was still tired)Eventually the nap grew to 45 mins. and then Eventually like 2-3wks. later he figured out that was the routine and that crying didn't get him out of the crib.

I did this again for his afternoon nap. It was hard I would call my friends crying!!!! Why won't my baby sleep?? Its hard, but they need to be put into a Routine. You need to help them with a plan.

At night it was the same situation - but a little easier since he was tired at night. He got a bottle in mama's arms, then burped and put into crib. He fussed a bit the first few weeks, but them he went to bed without a peep after about 2 months!!! When he started walking at 12 mons. he practically walked to his crib to be put it.
I had to train him but it was so worth it!!! Now he goes potty, says can you read to me, then gets in his own bed. What a relief! Try it

Also, I found that for me when my son was able to roll to his tummy he slept 100% better. Sleeping on his back did not work. Use your own judgement - my Dr. allowed this because he had earned the right to roll onto his back so I could stop it.

have patients and know that they are safe in their crib leave them to sleep.

Good night :-)

T.

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R.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter (now 10) was the same way. From the moment she was born in the hospital, she wouldn't sleep and cried all the time. I was told at the time that I needed to force the nap issue and get her on a schedule so that she is used to naps. My saving grace was the vibrating bouncy seat. That seemed to be our lifesaver when nothing else would work. My husband and I too both work out of the house and we really needed this downtime to get caught up. But, I highly recommend the vibrating boucy seat. The other thing I used was a device called "Gentle Vibes" from Playskool I don't think that they make it anymore, but it was a clip-on unit that had 3 levels of vibration in addition to music that you could set in 15, 30 and 60 minute intervals. I live in Lake Forest so you can e-mail me if you have any other questions: ____@____.com

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

If she is a light sleeper, you may think about using a fan or something else in her room for "white noise." I know a lot of people who cautioned me against it so they wouldn't need it, but I don't think it is a terrible thing to be dependent on for sleep. I am a light sleeper myself and it helps me sleep (and my mom never used it with me growing up). Other than that, I would suggest a consistent routine, if you are not already doing so. Put her down for her morning nap at about the same time everyday, even if she fights it. If you want to let her scream for 10 minutes, then check her, that's fine, but don't give in to getting her up. Check her every 10 minutes until she stops, if you are comfortable with that. A good nap period is 1-2 hours, if not 1 1/2 - 2 hours. For the first day, she may fight it for the entire nap period, but I think she will probably eventually stop fighting and just go to sleep. It may take a couple of days or weeks. That's a lot of crying, but if you know she is crying because she is tired and that the best thing for her is sleep, that may comfort you. I know some would call me a barbarian for saying something like that, but I strongly believe that babies need sleep and it is our job to train them how to do it. Do the same thing in the afternoon. Put her down at about the same time every afternoon. If you are consistent, she will eventually get used to it and stop fighting it. If she gets good daytime sleep, she will begin to fall asleep easier in the day time. I know it is not easy to do, but if you really want her to take naps, this should work.

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P.M.

answers from Las Vegas on

My baby slept all night and was up all day until she was about 6 months. It may soon be over...
However, my sister's first baby never slept during the day for the first two years until a younger sibling came along.

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K.T.

answers from Honolulu on

There's 2 things I would try in this case. First, letting her scream it out will teach her, but it's not fun and it takes time. When I was sleep training my son it took a little while, but every day he cried less and less, and I checked in on him at longer intervals, and now he rarely cries when I put him down. But something else you could try is nurse her in bed, since that's sometimes how she already falls asleep. Lay next to her and nurse her and let her fall asleep, then just put pillows and stuff all around her. Worked pretty well for me. Good luck.

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N.L.

answers from Reno on

My daughter was similiar. When she was about 6 months old I finally decided I had to figure something out about the nap issue (she did very well at night as well). I read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". Great book. He gives you many options but w/ my daughter's personality I knew the only way I was going to get anything accomplished was to let her CIO. It was painful, but I did it. At first she would only nap for 30 min at a time but that did gradually increase & she became a pretty decent napper! My pediatrician says the worst thing you can do is let a child CIO for an hour and then go in their room at an hour and five min. So, whatever you decide to do, stick to your guns so you don't confuse your daughter. She is now old enough to realize that if she cries long enought MOmmy just may come rescue her. Don't get me wrong, there were several times that I went in to check on my daughter because I was convinced that something else was wrong and it never was......all a big ploy to get Mommy back. Someone once told me that I had to look at the situation as 'giving my child the gift of sleep'. You know what, she was right. She was a much happier baby once she started napping well. Good luck to you!

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M.R.

answers from Honolulu on

Aloha M.,

Something that helped my kids take naps was the use of a baby bouncer. I would gently bounce them in the baby bouncer until they would fall asleep......and then keep it bouncing a little with my foot (if needed) while I did work at my desk. I know all kids are different, but it worked with my three kids. You might have to try out different suggestions until you find what works best for you and your daughter.

Blessings,
Marie-anne :O)

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T.B.

answers from Honolulu on

you gotta let them cry it out. if we dont do it now it will get worse as they grow older.

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P.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M., I'm P.. I have a 2yr old and 4mos old and also work from home. What I found with my babies is they won't sleep if they are even a little bit cold, I don't know what you keep your house at but maybe make sure her room is nice and cozy warm. She may be wanting your body heat! The other thing I find to work MOST of the time (not always!) is herbal and /or homeopathic remedies. Most health food stores will have some sort of solution to offer and the staff is usually pretty knowledgeable. If all else fails, you can put her in a sling and just wear her, and she will sleep through just about anything. It gets a little hard on your back after a while (you can take turns!), but it might also get her into the habit of getting her nap. I truly believe that creating the habit is key for future routines and keep telling yourself, "it's only for a little while". After all, she's already half way through her baby year! Your baby comes first, work will always be there and can always be made up for later. I hope this helps.

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S.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

M.,
It may not be an option for you...but we let our daughter rock and sleep in her swing during the day. She loved it and got her sleep, and Mommy got her rest too! Later, we would scoop her out, still rocking her and she would transition to her crib perfectly. We did this until she was 7 months old and now she puts herself to sleep in her crib. The Fisher Price Papassan Swing has been a lifesaver with my 2 daughters and we plan on using it for baby girl #3 coming in August.
It may be worth a try for you...All the best, S.

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L.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have you tried a binky?

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi M., First uf all don't pick her up when she screams, by doing so you are nurturing that behavior, so she will continue to scream, second she should be on a sipper cup not still nursing, and i found in my daycare babies don't sleep during the day, since parents were told to put them on their backs, I'm from the old school, and all 3 of my grown healthy children slept on their tummys and if I had a baby at my age now 51 that baby would sleep on his or her tummy, babies don't seem to sleep well on their backs. If she is sleeping good at night, it's probably cause she's not napping during the day, since you both work at home, hire somone to come in and take care of her during your business hours, a friend of mine does that so she can study and it works out great. J. L

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P.H.

answers from Reno on

I think she's overtired and needs a morning nap, too. She just doesn't know it. Even if she doesn't sleep and justs rests if will help for her adjust for her afternoon nap. Babies and toddlers have a harder time sleeping sound when they're over-tired. I don't know what you and your husband do at home for work, but it might be nice if one relaxes with her for her morning rest/nap for 30 minutes and then one takes the time to put her down in the afternoon. I also believe in turning down phones and turning on some relaxing music. Be sure she's comfortable and cuddled. It's hard for anyone to sleep when they're not in a real comfy zone!
Enjoy and remember how great it is that you don't have your children in daycare!!!

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A.J.

answers from San Diego on

My have a 3 1/2 year old son and 8 month old daughter. I know from experience and the many sleep books I've read that daytime sleep regulates a little later than nighttime sleep, but your daughter should be old enough to start regulating her daytime sleep a little better. I also nurse so I understand the issues will falling asleep nursing. Basically a pretty tight (but flexible) schedule worked best for me and I started really enforcing right around 6 months. It's tough at first but now my daughter is sooooo easy. I also really liked Dr. Weissbluth's "HealthySleep Habits Happy Child".

Here's the key, I think: I have a very specific routine before naps and bedtime. Before nap we change her diaper and read a couple of short board books. I also give her a little blankie that I only give her for naps and bedtime so she associates it with sleep. After the routine I put her in her bed and for her morning nap she is in there for an hour whether she sleeps or not. For her afternoon nap she is in there for 1 1/2 hours whether she sleeps or not. I know I sound like a nazi but she needed to sleep and she was getting so overly tired. Maybe I'm lucky, but she caught on pretty fast and now she rarely even cries before naps or bedtime and regularly wakes up and plays in her crib for awhile before I need to get her. She basically wakes around 6 or 6:30am and takes her morning nap between 8:30am and 9am (usually naps for about and hour); she takes her afternoon nap around 1pm (usually naps for 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours) and then goes to bed by 7pm. If your daughters afternoon nap is short she might need a 3rd nap still. Good luck and reply back if you want more information. I know how hard it is getting them on a nap schedule but a couple of weeks of hell will pay off beautifully for you and you will know when you can work or get other things done.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Napping is very important for babies, developmentally. It sometimes helps to put them down for nap BEFORE they actually fall asleep already. It can give them the opportunity to learn to self-soothe etc. Sometimes, a "transition object" can help... in my son's case, he has a stuffed cow that he loves to cuddle and sleep with and a pacifier. He has done this since about 6 months old. By this age, we had gotten familiar with him and he actually gravitated toward this cow by himself and we noticed it helped him to sleep.

For me, as the parent, I put my son down at specific times... He wakes in the morning about 6:30, then at about 9:00-9:30 in the morning, and in the afternoon at about 2:00-2:30, this is when he naps, and at about 8:00p.m. is when he goes to bed at night. That is his sleeping schedule....and he will nap for about 2 hours each, and still goes to bed at night and sleeps well. He is never fussy this way and rarely over-tired. It works for us. I have done this since he was a baby... he is now 19 months old, and he is very used to this routine... and there is no struggle to get him to nap. At those times I put him in the crib, and even if he is still awake, he will fall asleep on his own, and he gets tired at these times. Yes, they do have sleepy signals... but, sometimes a baby/child will "force" themselves awake and it's not always ideal to wait until "they" tell us when they are tired. Children/babies take to "schedules" and for me, doing it this way for my son is the best thing... for me and him. He knows when it is "nap" time and will even take my hand and pick up his favorite stuffed cow that he sleeps with, and will actually take me downstairs to his room, when it is "time" for his nap. He has come to intrinsically "know" when his nap time is... and he naps. But again, this is the routine I have done with him since he was a baby. And I schedule myself accordingly. He is not one to just nap anywhere.. .he will only nap in his crib. So I adjust my schedule and stay at home when it is his nap time. The consistency is important. If you notice, there is about 3 hours "wake" time between his naps and going to bed at night. This is the time span in between naps in which I notice he will get "tired" again after playing and daily activities.
At night, he goes to bed at 8:00. And again, since this is his routine, he doesn't fuss about it when it is time.

On the other hand, with my firstborn, my daughter... it was quite the opposite and as a first time Mom then, I didn't really have a specific nap "schedule" and would just put her down when she "seemed" tired... this lead to erratic sleeping times and it was hard on her and me... she'd often be fussy and overtired or didn't nap/sleep well. My daughter was/is also noise sensitive and was a light sleeper as well....I couldn't even flush the toilet when she was napping or she would wake up, and I would turn off all the phones etc. Bear in mind that if a baby/child is "over-tired"... they actually do NOT sleep as well and may even be more "hyper." I learned the hard way with my firstborn... now with my 2nd child, I do things much differently with my son. My son has a nap/sleep schedule.... and it makes it easier on me too because then I can actually schedule myself and my own routines/activities for the day, since I know when and how long he naps. It's more sane that way and practical. And, he's not a fussy overtired child, which is the best part too. It's really best not to "wait" until they are WAY too tired, to put them down for a nap. They are too young to be "telling" us, that they need to nap.

I know each child is different with different personalities and temperaments... but I've found, that a CONSISTENT routine and specific "nap/sleep" times definitely helps. Start now since she is young, and as she gets older she will be used to it. That has been my experience at least.

As a side note: there is a homeopathic children's sleep soother called "Calms Forte." There are no contraindications and it's all natural. For traveling and for times when a child has difficulty sleeping or upsets, this can help. BUT, I do not know at what age or at how young this can be given to a baby. Because it is homeopathic, it will either work or there will be no difference. You might want to research this as well. Just Google it and type in "calms forte".

Good luck and I hope this helps.
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo
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A.S.

answers from Honolulu on

I feel your pain! My daughter is almost 6 months and was a very reluctant napper...but believe it or not the more they sleep in the day, they better they sleep at night. she is probably a light sleeper because she is over tired, and when they are over tired they wake easier because they have a hard time getting into a deep sleep. What really helped us is the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child...it is really great. Plus you really only need to read the first couple chapters then find the chapter for your age group. It helped us a great deal. My daughter is finally napping and is much happier when she is awake. good luck to you!

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