Seeking Advice on Helping Kids Through a Divorce

This can be very tough.... I have 3 kids with my oldest has his bio dad living in Los Angeles.... He has tried to F+ me royally. and it is really hard... You have to be the bigger person and bear it. What comes around, goes around. Karma sometimes can take years to catch up with them. You can't give in to the other party... follow your court order when you get one.... But becareful because he can put on a good dog and pony show to get what he wants. In most counties, once a court order is in set, you have to wait 6 months to get back into court. What you can do which has helped me, is getting the school to write up something stating how she is in school for your oldest one. The younger one is tougher but what goes for one child, goes for the next and in most States, you can not seperate the kids between parents. And becareful too because in Mediation, the court mediatior may want to do a Psych evaluation and if that is the case, do 2 of them. One with you and then one after the visit... then if there is a change in the childs behavior, take it to court...

Do you have a lawyer yet? Seems that you have as much right to be in the house as he does. He's the one causing the upset. Sounds like you are letting him call all the shots- it really doesn't have to be that way. My best advice is get a lawyer. You sound like a great mommy.

good luck!

S.

I would get an attorney and try to get the house back. I would also get youself and the kids in counsling. If you want to get back together with your husband I would ask him to also join you in counsling and if he won't you can tell your parents that you tried and he didn't put the effort into it. Either way, don't buy in to the "its all your fault" tactic and make an effort to protect what you are entitled to. It was your family's home as well.
Good luck

My thoughts & prayers are with you. You are a very strong person for going through this & being the bigger person. You will be rewarded for all you do for you & your children. You just may not see if right away. Hang in there.

K.

D.,

My heart goes out to you and the kids. I am also going through a divorce and things will get better. Hang in there.

The first thing I would recommend is that you and your children seek counseling both individually and together. Your daughter is confused and it sounds like daddy might be putting some ideas in her head to make him look like the hero. All I can say is that you need to remain the consistent parent. Maintain the structure, discipline, love and routine for the children. In the long run the children will benefit from this.

Secondly, consult an attorney. Your husband had no right to ask you to leave the house. I am not completely familiar with Colorado law, but most states are community property states and you are entitled to 50% of the assets. Most Judges would not have made you leave due to the fact that the home was for your children - regardless of the cattle on the land. It actually sounds pretty selfish that your husband wanted you and the kids to leave so he and the cows could have the house/land. Also, your husband should be paying child support as well as spousal maintenance (alimony). Again, contact an attorney asap and protect you and the children.

I wish you the best. Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing.

L.

talk to a lawyer right away. See if you can move back or if you need to move back. Did you get advice before you moved out? Are you in a lease? Can you break it???
You need legal advice for the state in which you live in. Are you getting child support?

One thing that might help your daughter is getting her a "Big Siser" through the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization in your area. There is generally no waiting list for girls, and it might make her feel special and give her a no side third party to hang out with. Also it will give you some much needed time alone to deal with your own feelings. I love the BBBS's program and highly reccomend it. The minimum age is 5, but they should let her start signing up now.