Seeking Advice on Helping Child Sleep Through the Night!!!!

Updated on October 11, 2006
K.H. asks from Rogers, AR
25 answers

Hello! I'm seeking advice on my 16 month old baby. My daughter rarely sleeps throught the night. I am so exhausted all of the time. It is starting to take a toll on me. I have been having some health problems lately, and I think it has a lot to do with not getting enought rest. My daughter usually goes to sleep anywhere from 8:00 to 9:30pm. She usually takes 1 nap in the morning for no longer than an hour, and 1 nap after her lunch for about 1 hour. I have tried letting her cry it out, and she will just get louder and louder with her crying. Even when she is asleep she tosses and turns and cries out in her sleep. She has been waking up at midnight and around 3 am, and sometimes I can't get her back to sleep. Please help me!! Is this normal? Is there something wrong with her? Thank you for taking the time to read this.

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S.W.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Babywise!! This book worked wonders for my son and me. he had reflux so i did not start until he was 8 months but it works. She is a little older so it might take a little longer, but it will work. Especially if she is still in a crib. Start this program before she get into a toddler bed. Good luck

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L.

answers from Little Rock on

i got my daughter to sleep through the night by eating a late dinner and then right before she went to bed i gave her a bottle of warm milk that typically did the trick. another way is to totally ware her out. if she is walking go and walk around the block and have her walk until she doesn't want to walk anymore. those are some of the ways that i found helped my daughter sleep through the night. i hope that they work for you! good luck

L.

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J.G.

answers from College Station on

Do you think she could be hot or cold? My daughter was waking up too for a while when she was around 2, and my sister asked if she was cold, I never thought about her maybe being cold. So I put socks on her feet that night and warmer pj's it fixed the problem. She doesn't keep the blanket on all night. I hope it gets better for you soon.

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A.J.

answers from Killeen on

i think this is partly just a normal thing. my daughter is 2 1/2 and still wakes occasionally at night. but we've been firm to always make her go back to her own bed. we usually just give her a cup of milk and make sure her diaper is dry and tuck her back in. sometimes she needs to be held and comforted, i think she might have bad dreams sometimes and can't explain that to me.
when she was younger, around 9 or 10 mo. she had started waking all the time during the night and we asked her doctor about it and he suggested a variation to "crying it out". we would wait 1 minute, then go in her room and just comfort her while she was in her crib, give her blankie back to her if she had lost it, and then leave. then if she kept crying, do the same routine until she fell asleep. after a few nights, we incresed the time to 2 minutes. we kept increasing the time and after 2-3 wks she was sleeping through the night again. part of it is training your child to fall back to sleep on their own.
until then, take naps or just relax when she does! make sure you try to get out away from your kids every now and then to recharge your batteries too!

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P.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi K.. I know how frustrating this can be. My daughter just turned 2 and we've had big sleep issues with her. She is finally sleeping through the night fairly regularly.
A book that helped us is "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I hope it helps you too.

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L.C.

answers from Abilene on

I understand what your going through...Not to scare you or anything but my son is almost 4 and just now started sleeping alittle!!! LOL
They told me when he was a year old that he had night terrors which can go on into adulthood, I was sooo scared and sleepless. He would wake up 6 to 8 times a night screaming kicking and hitting but thats the thing with night terrors they have no idea they are doing all of this and there is no meds. or anything you can do I was told he would out grow them and he has for the most part. When he was younger it was just screaming and crying and tossing and turning and the older he got the worse it got by then he could *fight* me and he would open his eyes and see things that were in his dreams and point to things on the walls that I couldnt see but he was sure was there.
If your child is watching any TV or eating about 2 hours before bed that can trigger these episodes. I also found that if dayton went to bed around 9:30 or 10 I could go wake him up at 3am-4am and he would do fine the rest of the morning. Its hard I know Hang in there!!!!

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C.H.

answers from Little Rock on

Have you tried letting her have only one short nap a day? I know they need their naps when they're that little, but, you also need your sleep. I had this problem with my little girl, waking up in the middle of the night ready to go. I just cut her nap time down. It seemed to help. She didn't get as much of a nap, but she slept more hours at night b/c she was so tired.

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K.N.

answers from San Antonio on

Her sleeping time sounds right-on for her age. My daughter is restless and cries out in her sleep, too. Unfortunately, I don't think there's a solution for that.

How long has the night-waking been going on? My daughter (now 2yrs) does this in spurts. Usually we could link it to a physical cause, such as teething, growing pains, sinus problems, reflux, hunger, or gas. But for a few weeks it seemed to be just psychological. Crying it out never worked for us either; going to her each time she cried made her feel more secure, and - I think - made the spurt end faster.

Something we've always used (because my daughter is a light sleeper) is white noise. We use a HEPA filter, which also cleans the air and maintains a constant whirring sound. A table top fan or white noise machine works, too. It helps drown out noises that can wake her up.

Take her to bed with you only as a last resort - babies like to make that a habit very quickly. I've read that these trials do eventually end, so hang in there, and sleep when she sleeps. Laundry and dishes can wait. Chronic sleep deprivation definitely has a physical effect on the body, similar to chronic stress. So take care of yourself, even if that means letting some household chores wait while you rest.

Best wishes!

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

We had this problem with my daughter (she is 2) and it turned out that her tummy was bothering her. I figured it out because she was so restless and fussy throughout the night so I figured something had to be hurting her. I felt her belly one night and it felt bloated. I began giving her gas drops at night and she began to sleep much better. It may be totally unrelated to this, but it helped me.

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L.K.

answers from New Orleans on

Have you noticed if your daughter is often stopped up? Trouble breathing, runny nose, bad allergies?
My daughter stopped sleeping through the night at about the same age and doing almost the exact same things and right about as I was at my wit's end I took her to the MD and he determined that she had mild sleep apnea. Basically what happens is that she falls asleep and her adnoids (which have grown a bit too fast) start to block her air ways and right as she slips into REM sleep she stops breathing just long enough to scare her and wake her up too scared to go back to sleep. In my daughter's case it was not life threatening but can get worse as they get older. At 18 months old I had her adnoids and tonsils out and she has slept through the night ever since and has barely had a head cold since!! It's the best thing I've ever done for her (and my own peace of mind). I'm not saying this is your child's problem for sure but it can't hurt to have her doctor take a look and to address the problem with him. good luck!

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R.K.

answers from Little Rock on

Is your daughter teething? My 15-month went through a series of bad nights where he woke at about the same times as your daughter, and this lasted a few weeks. Turns out he is cutting molars. I have found that giving him a dose of baby Tylenol or Motrin (the Motrin lasts longer, but should be given with food) before bedtime really has cut down on the fussines. He has been generally sleeping all night from 9pm until about 5:30-6am, when he wants a drink of water. When he wakes, I usually give him a drink of cold water and rock him for a little bit and he generally goes back down until 7:30. I ONLY give him water - never milk or food - and this has also cut down on his incentive to wake too many times. I have never really tried letting him cry it out - I don't get any more sleep with it. Generally, if he will not go down in his own bed, I just take him into mine. We both got more sleep that way.

Does she sleep in her own room? You might also try a night-light. My son does not like to sleep in the complete dark, and even conventional nightlights were too dim for his big room. I went to an "aquarium light" with the fish that go around that you can get at Walmart, and this gives out the perfect amount of light.

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B.D.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I posted this on another one as well but it applies to this one as well!!

All I can say is BABYWISE!! It's a great book that helps you put your baby on a schedule and helps them sleep through the night. Going down at a decent hour and sleeping 8-11 hours at night. It's amazing. My baby has had great success with it. I hope you try it!! It will make your life SOO much easier!

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L.A.

answers from Fayetteville on

Hey K., someone gave me a book when my son was a baby called, Solving Your Child's Sleeping Problems. I don't know the author because I gave it to a friend, but you should check it out. We had a horrible time with our son's sleeping, and this book was so helpful.

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A.V.

answers from Beaumont on

There is nothing wrong with your child. My kids would wake at all hours of the night when they were younger. But if you let them get used to it then they will keep doing it. You need to untrain them and train them into sleeping. I would give my kids a warm bath about 30 minutes to an hour before bedtime and it would relax them. The bath seemed to work pretty much all the time, even when they were sick a warm bath always relaxed them. Also try not to let her sleep after around 4pm so that by the time bedtime comes she will be sleepy. Good Luck and remember rest when she rests.

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V.B.

answers from Alexandria on

When they are that young and they cry out in their sleep it is usually that they are hurting somewhere. Maybe her ears or her stomach. I would take her to an ENT first.

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L.

answers from Houston on

Hi there!

I feel your pain! My daughter woke up 6 or 7 times a night until she was 16 months old. I was almost hospitalized due to exhuastion. I tried just letting her cry it out, but it broke my heart and never seemed to work. I finally found a book called, "Sleeping Through the Night", by Jodi Mindell, Ph.D. It's a sleep method with a "heart", and it worked like a charm for us. I highly recommend reading it.

Hang in there!

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M.N.

answers from Little Rock on

Ear infection? Not sleeping through the night is usually my 18mo old daughter's only symptom, even if it has been going on for a while, never hurts to check.

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M.G.

answers from San Angelo on

There's a lot of good advice already here, so I won't go on, but I think it's very normal, it's a phase which will pass, and she is trying to tell you something (probably "I'm scared"). If you're not against this sort of thing you could bring her into bed with you. Or, if she's not in a crib, you could get into bed with her until she falls back asleep. We had a double mattress on my son's floor so I could fall asleep next to him if I needed to resettle him in the middle of the night, and it worked a treat. I think sometimes they just need your warmth and your odor and body contact, to hear you breathing, and they go right back down.

The only thing I want to add is that bananas and milk contain enzymes which help to induce sleepiness. We gave them to our son before bed when he was hungry/thirsty/wakeful and it definitely helped. The homeopathic remedy cammomilla (from health food store) might help too. Also a few drops of lavender in her bath or on her pillow will induce relaxation. (just a few drops - 3-4 - is enough) . Hang in there!

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H.S.

answers from Brownsville on

IM A FIRST TIME MOM.WELL.......IM DUE OCT 16 WHICH IS LIKE 2 1/2 WKS FROM NOW.BUT, I HAVE A NEPHEW WHICH I HELPED MY SISTER WITH SINCE DAY ONE HE WAS BORN AUG 05 HE IS NOW 14 MTHS AND WE USED TO HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM BUT I WOULD WAKE HIM UP AT 7,8 AM AND FEED HIM THEN PLAY WITH HIM FOR A WHILE OR PUT HIM IN THE WALKER AND CARTOONS AND KEEP HIM AWAKE AND THEN LET HIM TAKE A 30 MIN NAP BEFORE NOON AND THEN ANOTHER A LITTLE AFTERNOON AND MAYBE AT 4PM AND KEEP HIM AWAKE AFTER THAT AND LET HIM PLAY AND TAKE HIM OUTSIDE AND BY LIKE 8 OR 9 TAKE HIM A WARM BATH AND GIVE HIM LITTLE MASSAGE AND HE WOULD SLEEP AND WAKE UP AT THE SAME TIME I WOULD THE NEXT MORNING. SO MAYBE LETTING HER SLEEP AT LEAST 2 2HR NAPS AND A 30 MIN NAP LIKE AT 10AM THEN 12:30PM THEN AT 4PM AND KEEP HER UP AND BUSY AFTER THAT THEN A NICE WARM BATH WITH A LITTLE MASSAGE U MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET URSELF SOME REST............:)TRY IT OUT AND LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES.

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M.

answers from Houston on

We started putting our kids to bed earlier, and it helped enormously. You have to beat that super sleepy zone - put them to bed before they're completely exhausted. This helps them sleep better and longer. Also, make sure your baby knows she's not going to get picked up in the middle of the night. I know it's hard. Once you've made sure she's not in any pain or discomfort, you can stay in her room with her until she falls asleep. (I used to sleep on the floor beside my son's bed to let him know he didn't have to be alone, but would close my eyes and ignore him. He felt comforted, but eventually realized he wasn't going get out of his room, so he inevitably went back to sleep.) I don't remember how long this stage took, but I think it was only a few weeks. A long time when you're sleep-deprived, I know, but hang in there. It will get better!

M. B

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C.R.

answers from Little Rock on

I didn't get good sleep until my child turned 5. I had the hardest time with her no matter what. She would always wake up and keep me up. I though I was not going to make it. UNTIL ONE WONDERFUL DAY. She just out grew whatever it was. She started sleeping in her own bed all night and not getting in mine at midnight. She even goes to bed around 8 on her own. She tells you it time for lights out. I have 2 girls and the lack of sleep I got with second one is one of the many reason a third is not in the works anytime soon. It will get better.

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F.L.

answers from Little Rock on

The same thing happened with me. I had to do it all myself and there is not any extended family around me. It's very hard but you can handle it. The tears do help. Plus knowing that it will get better helps too. Best wishes.

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S.M.

answers from New Orleans on

Sounds like it's time to rid her of the morning nap and push the afternoon nap earlier. Play hard during the afternoon, bathe and put her down for the night. That should work. She sounds like she's getting too much daytime sleep. Keep her busy during that morning naptime and she'll stay awake right through it and probably sleep late the next day. Try some Tylenol too, it may ne some more teeth erupting.

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N.

answers from San Antonio on

I know how you feel my son will be 2 next month and he's only be sleeping all night for about 5 months and still only takes a hour nap. There are times he still wakes up in the middle of the night. HANG IN THERE!!!

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L.

answers from Little Rock on

I have a consulting business called Baby Answers (a division of Nanny For Newborns.com), and I am a newborn specialist parenting, coach and infant sleep trainer.
First of all, please rest assured that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your baby or with you. Assuming that your baby is otherwise healthy, what has likely happened is that you have inadvertently �trained� your baby to continue waking during the night. All you need to do is to retrain her to sleep during the night.
At 16 months old, babies need 13 to 14 hours of sleep in each 24-hour period. They should sleep for 10 to 12 hours through the night and then take either one nap or two naps a day. If they take one nap, it should last for 2 to 3 hours. If they take two naps, each nap should last for 1 to 2 hours. Most babies transition from two naps to one nap between 15 and 18 months.
At 16 months of age, all healthy babies have the capacity to sleep a 10-12 hour uninterrupted night and take respectable naps during the day. And they (and you) will be much happier for it.
If you are interested in consulting with me, please contact me privately for more information.
L.
www.nannyfornewborns.com
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