Seeking Advice on Getting 4 Mo. Old to Sleep

I couldn't handle letting my daughter cry it out, especially that young, so I bought a book called The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I highly recommend that book for parents looking for a different solution than cry it out. It worked well for us, though I did not really start using the methods until after my daughter was a year. Now at the age of 2 I put her to bed at night and do not see or hear her again until morning, around 7:30 or so.

My 4 1/2 month old started the same thing around 4 months and I've heard other moms say the same thing. Now she's 3-4 hrs at a time. It just takes time for them to work it out, don't force anything.

Hi N.,
I would try swaddling him real tight and rocking him after feeding. You may have to hold him a little longer. Also, soft music seemed to help my kids. Good luck to you.:)

A book I liked is:
"Secrets of the Baby Whisperer- how to calm,connect,and communicate with your baby" by Tracy Hogg.

There are sooooo many different thoughts on this.... you will get lots of opinions here.

I'm surprised the Doctor gave him baby Zantac and let him cry it out. Because, what you have is a "normal" baby, who is waking, who is crying, who is not sleeping through the night, and is only 4 months old. He is completely normal, and ALL Parents go through this.

I know you want the best, but try not over-analyzing it too much... you can NEVER coddle a baby too much, you can NEVER comfort a baby too much. And in fact, conversely, there are also "problems" a baby/child can get from "not" getting enough attention and/or comforting. I once baby-sat a baby like that... and it cannot always be overcome. It was sad. But the Mom did not want her baby to get "dependent" or "needy." But what actually happened is her baby was just never really happy and it affected her development, and she became less responsive to "attention" given her.

If a baby is not responded too and left to cry it out- it actually changes their brain chemistry. And, in the opposite extreme...if a baby is not comforted and not nurtured, "attachment disorders" can arise.. .meaning, the baby will not 'bond' properly and it causes behavioral problems as they get older. They NEED to bond and get comforting from the day they are born... it is crucial for their development. A baby this age is just "reacting" for survival... they don't do it on purpose to 'irk' their Parents for attention. They are merely crying for something they need, and if not getting it, will be an unhappy baby & child.

Each baby is different... at this age, they will not "sleep through the night." And, at "growth spurt" periods and developmental changes, a baby/child WILL wake more... because they need more intake and they get hungrier and need to be fed more frequently. Many times, if a baby is hungry they will be fussier and wake more, until satisfied and fed. It's normal.

Bear in mind, that it is often COMMON... that a child/baby will NOT sleep through the night, even until about 2 years old. And then by this age, other "age phases" will crop up.... and developmentally, it is hard for them too. Sleep patterns are NOT static, they always change, and we have to be flexible with them because they are developing as they should.

Sure, you want a child to have good sleep habits...but this is something that is gradual, and will not occur over night. He is too young for "sleep training" and rigid methods. He's a newborn. I really am surprised your Pediatrician has allowed the crying it out at his age.

Anyway... please don't expect sooo much from your baby. He is ONLY 4 months old... if this is what is expected of him at this age, then what about when he is 8 months old or 1 yr. old?
ALL babies will sleep "through the night" when they are ready. To "sleep train" a baby now at only 4 months old is too early. Just my opinion.

"Sleeping through the night" for a baby, means sleeping at least 6 hours of more. This is not according to "adult" standards. So, for example, if you put your baby to bed at say 7:00p.m., then 6 hours later it would be 1:00a.m. That is the middle of the night for us, but not for them.

When babies wake this much, you need to feed him. Babies, up until 1 years old, need to be fed on demand. And at growth spurts they will need more and more often. A baby cannot be fed according to the clock...they need it when they need it, by their hunger. Not ours.

Crying it out will NOT work with all babies.
Each Mom is different... and do what you feel is best. No baby can be spoiled by attention or loving.

All the best,
Susan

He obviously doesn't have a Zantac deficiency. When my daughter's intestines are upset, I open a capusle of PB8 and dump 1/4 - 1/2 in her mouth and then BF her. She calms right down. Are you BFing? Are you feeding him soy - since soy is a phyto-estrogen, it can cause him to be uncomfortable AND stimulate more estrogen in his body, making him more moody.

Breastfed babies eat every 20-120 minutes depending on their metabolism. Breastmilk starts to be digested within 90 seconds of hitting the stomach. Some forumla fed babies need to eat every 1-2 hours...and he's still a new baby.

Also, depending on how the delivery went and if was taken away right away, for cleaning, etc., he might be a little anxious about being away from you. Don't stress. They are only little for a little while. In 10 years, he'll be too cool for you.

Our first son woke every 1.5 hours to eat. The 2nd son woke every hour for a while and then slept for 3 hour stretches. Our daughter only wakes at 11pm and 5am to eat. They are all different.

PS A full night sleep for a baby is considered 4-5 hours. I don't know who told you 6-8, but they need nutrition and the bonding with mom WAY more often than that. Sounds like you have a perfect child to me.

He is 4 months old, only 4 months old, he isnt suppose to sleep all night long, go back to the begining is he wet, is he burped, is he cold or to warm, is he hungrey, if you let him cry to long he is going to get a hernia, why not let him cuddle with you for a few minutes then see if he falls asleep but the poor little guy is only 4 months old,awww poor thing

You didn't say where he is sleeping? How do you feed him? The reason why he wakes up so often is because he has a little tummy and he is hungry often. That's normal. I think the problem might lie in your techniques.

I always try to think of things "as nature (or GOD, whichever you prefer) intended". Just look at how we are built. We are delicate creatures. A baby is meant to be with you at all times. If it wasn't, it could die. So the baby instinctively cries when it's left alone. Are you breastfeeding? The combination of sleeping with your child (either co-sleeping or right next to . . . I prefer the later) and breastfeeding is all you need for EASY nighttime parenting to meet your child's needs. Try it, I guarantee everyone's lives will be better. . . just get a king size bed :). When the baby needs to be fed, he will start to wake and if you stick your boob in his mouth before he completely wakes up, he will just eat (half asleep, takes a couple minutes) and then go back to sleep. At 4 months, some nights my son ate only once a night and sometimes 5 times a night, but he always slept 12 hours at night. Growth spurts and teething cause them to eat more often.

Also, NO YOU CANNOT SPOIL YOUR INFANT. Please don't worry about that. The more you meet his/her needs, the more secure they feel, the sooner they will find independence, and the more stable they will be as an adult. Please do not give your baby Zantac. We don't come out of the womb needing over-the-counter drugs. Feel free to private message me if you want.

being a mom is hard work! I am a mom of 3 very different kids, each with their own set of "issues"!

I understand your frustration- 1000%!! BUT-- your baby is FAR TOO YOUNG to be doing any type of sleep training. He needs you- and this point is proven when he stops crying as soon as he has you. Just think, he was inside you for 9 months- now he is thrown into a very confussing world that is constantly stimulating his senses and he is searching desperatly for something familiar-- YOU!

At 4 months old, you are his everything. And yes, as hard as this is at times it is a reality. Don't fight it- please embrace this. You might try letting your baby sleep with you, at least partly thru the night when sleep is most important.

Don't worry- your baby will not sleep with you forever. My kids all slept with me, and are very secure sleepers at ages 8 yrs, 4 yrs and my little guy is 6 months and sleeps 1/2 the night in his crib, and the other 1/2 in my bed.

My motto: do whatever it takes to make your family happy! There is no wrong or right way for your family- so do what feels natural as a mother. Our insticts usually are not wrong!

good luck & hold your baby as much as you can, they grow too quickly and you will look back on this time and wish it back, I promise! :)

Your baby is 4 months old. I'm sorry, but at this age CIO is not recommended even by Dr. Ferber...he is not old enough to understand. He is at the age and will be for a while, where he is most likely growing. I was told by my son's pedi to feed on demand. In most literauture it says infants up until they begin a solids meal plan for a period of time will require feeding on demand every 2 to 3 hours and, then the time may stretch but feeding on demand should continue.

I'm not sure what advice you've gotten from your son's doc, but I would be as vigilant as possible with her feeding. Infants are constantly growing!! This requires constant nourishment, and attention. While he might have reflux, it's more likely he's confused by having to cry and cry for you to come to her, and needs a pattern of comfort and feeding. The crying with Dad is probably a result of this confusion. Babies cry when they need something and CIO in this young an age results in confusion, and detachment...not 'training to sleep', but babies simply give up on waiting for the help they need.

Please talk to your son's doctor if you're in need of guidance. At the varying stages babies NEED to be tended to when they NEED something from us...food, diaper change, hugs...and crying is how they know how to communicate.

Good Luck.

He is TOO YOUNG to let him cry it out. The longer he cries, the more air he swallow - and this COULD give him tummy pain. It's just one of those things you have to deal with as a parent. It will pass, but until then you just need to deal with it best you can. My daughter used to wake up 8-12 times a night. Some kids are just like that, that's all! My daughter has been a great sleeper since she was about 12 months, so don't worry - your time will come too! No need to get all mad because your son isn't sleeping - there is no point in getting irritated (and gritting your teeth) at a situation you can't control. The baby will feel that tension and it will just make it worst. Just stay calm and bear with it (like so many other mothers have had to) - you're not alone - trust me!

Hi N.- It is challenging being sleep deprived. Your baby is 4 months old. He needs to eat throughout the night as they digest quickly. Studies show that the only thing a baby learns by CIO is that their needs are not being met.Babies will stop crying eventually when they know mommy or daddy isn't going to respond anyways. you are building a bond now.I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. they are this small for such a short time. this too shall pass. you will get through this. It took 9-10 months to grow this child in your safe womb. Four months in a big new world is not very long. He is judt starting to adjust to his new surroundings. Best, H.

Ohh! That four month sleep transgression is a tough one. We went through it and from what I understand it is completely normal. They are learning lots of new tricks and their little brains are very active at this period..not to mention teething starts about now too. For us we went through about 4 weeks of no sleep...and then back to great sleep. Just wait until the 8 month....and then even worse...the 10 month transgression. We are going through it now and it is not fun for anyone. You will get through it...just remember, you can't cuddle him too much in my opinion. They need extra love for a reason..be it emotional security etc. Good luck! It soon will pass.

N.,
Your baby is brilliant and knows exactly how much sleep he needs and when. I WOULD recommend going to the manufacturer's website of baby zantac and reading the side effects of their product. The side effects tend to be worse than the original problem.

I am a mom of 4 girls and I understand the frustration of not having a child sleep through the night. But I promise, it will pass. My best advice to you is to listen to your gutt. You know better than anybody what your baby needs. The only disservice you can do to your baby is listen to advise that doesn't work for you and your baby.

Good luck!

I may not have all the answers that you need, but some key words that you used made me think that you guys may just need to see things through different eyes and maybe your reactions may be different. My son is almost 7 months and I'm drawing my suggestions from my experiences from him.
A 4 mo. old can never be 'coddled' too much! And you're feed him if it's been more than X amount of hours!! Baby Zantac! no no no...let's get back on track with the basics. Every parent has a different way and here's what I would do.
First, do not let him cry. Babies cry because they need something, what does he need?
Feed on demand. Do you nurse or bottle feed? Regardless, you have a growing baby... Mine would go through growth spurts- about 2 days of NON STOP feeding-I nurse, I thought I was going to fade away as he sucked every nutrient out of my body AND no sleep! That's what babies do.
Second, is it a painful cry? You're right that digestion could be key! Babies tummies are developing and somehow they get fierce gas bubbles-all of a sudden! Try the football hold-dad may love this one! Their little head drops down next to your elbow and your hand is on their tummy-all those mean bubbles are gently squashed and your little one can relax and you all can get sleep! Through his eyes he's all tired and gets this stabbing pain and no one comes to his aid : ( Again, your baby is NORMAL! Some may wake more often, that's why new parents look so tired : )
Third, maybe it's time to introduce cereal? A fuller baby will sleep longer-speak to your Dr. first. I suggest starting cereal at dinner time, about a tablespoon, then a nighttime bath. Sets baby up for a good night sleep. Just so you know my baby's sleep pattern was; 8eat/bed,10eat,2eat,5eat,8eat. At almost 7mo his pattern; 8eat/bed,10eat, 2eat,7eat-gets up,nap @8:30am...it gets better!
Fourth thing could be teeth. Is he drooling up a storm? Get some baby Orajel and rub it on his bottom gums and see if that relaxes him. It's soon for teeth, but my guy got his first bottom teeth then and is getting his top teeth now. Sometimes the pain makes him 'crazy', he throws his arms and rolls around, clawing at his face-poor guy. A little Orajel takes care of the pain. Nighttime seems to be the worst for him to cope.
You probably won't sleep till their 1 or 2 years old. Invest the time now,nap when he naps. It's challenging being a parent-just do what feels right for you. In actuality, it's all very normal!

Poor little guy! Your son does have a problem - he has a rookie mom who has not yet accepted that her wants no longer come first. :0) Welcome to motherhood. I have to tell you that your expectations are unrealistic. Baby Zantac? Feeding him only after a set amount of hours? No, no, no. That is all wrong. Your son is a growing, changing human being, and he needs more food, more often. Certainly you realize that the cry it out method is for parents who value sleep more than their babies emotional and physical health and well-being. Surely you have heard that you cannot spoil babies this age, and yet you speak of not wanting to coddle him. That is incorrect thinking. You are his mom. You should be giving him what he needs, when he needs it. Do so and he will develop into a secure, independent child who feels secure in the knowledge that his parents are there for him. You are placing your wants before his needs. I well remember how difficult it is with the first child - and how important sleep can seem. True acceptance is the key. Stop trying to make your son's natural and normal needs fit into your schedule. The change needs to happen not with him, but with you. You are parents now. You have a baby. You can sleep through the night when he is older. Feed him when he is hungry. Comfort him when he cries. Be a mom. Accept that life as you knew it is over.

In my opinion, you can't coddle a baby too much, especially at 4 months. They are still in the newborn/infant stage, and just a short while ago was having 24 hrs/day 7days/week coddling by you. I know some books may say different, but I don't think you can sleep train a 4 month old. Maybe at 6-8 months, but in my experience they will sleep when they are ready. I know with my first (a son), I tried EVERYTHING to get him to sleep longer, and it wasn't until he was 9 months that he slept for a longer period. My second (a girl) slept much better because I think I was more relaxed and not trying to hard.

I know this period is difficult. I never thought I would get past it, but it will get better Can you try a co-sleeper or let him sleep with you? Maybe he's going through a growth spurt and needs an extra feeding at night. I breast fed, but at 4 months with both kids I introduced formula for my last feeding at 8 pm, which did help them sleep a little longer- and then did a night feeding at about 2-3 am.

good luck- one thing I learned is I read all the books, but still did what I thought was best for my baby and me.

We have a 3 month old and this book has worked magic for us:
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth

Well my son is 3mths and now he is finally sleeping through the night, but he also sleeps with me in my bed. I bought him this little thing that he sleeps in, it stops him from rolling out or off the bed, it is like two long cylinders that go by each of his sides. I think that he sleeps better knowing that I am near to him. Just like when the baby cries and no one can calm him down but the mom. I think the same goes for overnight sleeping. My son sleeps by 9pm and wakes by 5-6-7am. It is really best to keep him on a schedule as best as possible. My son is down for the count by eight but I give bath and bottle then he goes to bed by 9pm. Try letting him sleep with you a week, and keep him on a schedule, break him into a schedule if you have to.

N.,

I am not sure what to tell you because you do not give us more info on what time you put him down in the evening, how he naps during the day, how many hours total he sleeps, etc... but I wanted to respond because I know, by experience, that you are going to probably get some nasty responses accusing you of being an uncaring mom, saying how could you let your baby cry it out, etc... and other nasty responses telling you that you are letting your kid rule the house, you have lost control, it's about time you take charge...
Those are hard to receive, when you are exhausted and at a loss of what to do. I wrote about a similar situation once, but for my son who was older, and I got 50 responses, all across the spectrum, from one extreme to the other. Some were horrible and made me want to cry, others made me so angry! So I just wanted to give you a little word of encouragement and say that it is so hard to be a first time mom, and that we often try anything and everything as we are trying to figure things out, and that can be confusing. But I know that you are doing your best, so hang in there :) You will sleep again, eventually...

What I can say is that at 3 months, if he is healthy, gaining weight etc... he doesn't need to eat too often at night, and it sounds like he is crying because he wants to be held by mommy. Those are natural needs, needs for attachment, and while I don't think you can spoil a baby, I also agree that it is good to teach them how to fall asleep. But at three months, it could still be a bit early. Does he fall asleep in your arms? If so, I wouldn't fight it. You have tried to do the cry it out, it didn't work after 2 weeks, so that is not what he needs. He seems to need reassurance, holding, closeness. Listen to what he is telling you. Keep talking to him, reassuring him, tell him you love him, you're there, will never abandon him, but he needs his sleep. Do that for a couple weeks, then try again to progressively put him down in his crib, awake.
If none of it works, can you let him fall asleep with you, then put him down once he is asleep?
Again, it is hard for me to respond because I don't know anything about his schedule, where he sleeps, what his bedtime routine is, etc...

But what I can say is "You can't spoil a baby", and habits can always be broken. If you are exhausted right now, it's OK to do whatever works for a little while, until you figure out what is best and what might work. When you are tired, you shoot in the dark, trying a million different things, and that can be confusing for baby, who will need even more reassurance. Keep talking to him. He won't understand your words, but he understands you. Your voice, your tone, your love, your emotions, he can feel some of that.

Anyways, not sure if that is helpful, but just know you are not alone!

Hello beautiful, loving, sweet caring mommy,

Wow! Hard stuff huh? This is the getting to know you phase you and your baby. Now is when you both are just trying to work out how you deal with each other....learn now...it will help you in your lifelong relationship with each other.

Medication will not help this process. Neither will crying it out unless you want your relationship to be that if he really, really needs something and asks clearly for it no one will ever answer his cries for help or assist him. How sad, huh? But think about the message you are sending him by not coming when he needs you....especially so very, very young...

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE...NO pills! Medication should be used as a last result! I'm so sorry to say, but you are toxifying your child. If a physician recommended you doing this please give me their name. I would VERY much like to see what their reasoning could possibly be. To me it it so obviously wrong!

If you need to resort to something outside of human contact please use a gentle, non toxifying homeopathic remedy like Hyland's Calms Forte. It would do the same thing as the harsh, side-effecting pills, only in a healthy way.

Learning to go to sleep is a process. 4 month olds are not known for sleeping anywhere near 8 hours! Rarely some do...by far the majority do not. Parenting is sacrifice, especially at this young age of your baby. You WILL lose sleep. IT IS NORMAL!! And his sleeping patterns will change from week to week, month to month. THIS IS NORMAL!!! He is trying to regulate himself. Let him! This is his work at this age and the pills are not helping at all.

Try having him sleep with you, that is what people have been doing since we started having babies! He is reassured by you being there already and doesn't get so hyped up by getting up, crying, etc...that even if he does wake up he will go right back to sleep! Or sometimes if he has trouble, if you just rub his back for a moment he will go out again. It's not magic, it's Mother Nature. He is soothed by your breathing and your heartbeat. He will sleep quite peacefully. And so will you with a bit of an adjustment. (For Hubbie: You can have sex in the living room, okay?)

The Attachment Parenting Book : A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby by William and Martha Sears is an excellent book and they have lots of great books that help a lot!!!! It is on Amazon for $11.95 right now.

Swear it works!!! My kid is 18 now and AWESOME!!! We get along great!! I have always let him tell me what he needed and I tried to assist him in his own process, whatever that is at the time. I have never regretted this way of parenting for a second. Neither have any of my friends who have kids of all ages form baby to adult.

Coddling a 4 month old is what you are supposed to do!! He is a baby!! Let him be a baby!!!!!! He has the rest of his life to cowboy up....

And please remember that this too shall pass. Especially at this age he will change his patterns so fast next month it will be something new and this will be old history. Focus on enjoying your son and being with him--even in those early morning hours. It goes so fast.......

Thanks for caring and Kudos to your hubbie for being in the game. Lots of dads just try to sleep through it all....

Deb

Your baby is toooo young to be sleep training. You should not begin this until at least 6 months and that includes the cry it out method, Look at www.sleepyplanet.com Right now your baby may still need to eat throughout the night. Dont push it will happen. Breastfed babies typical;ly need to eat during the nighttime until about 8 months. And please!!! DONT NOT PUT RICE IN THE BOTTLE!!! The digestive track is not fully developed and it really does not do much but fill your baby with unnessary food that they ar not ready for.

Hello N.!

I feel you on the sleep deprivation. My son is 4 1/2 months. He started having 4-5 hour stretches of sleep around 3 months. Then a few weeks ago, he just started waking up every two hours again. My son is breastfed. I'm assuming your boy is formula since you are waiting 3-4 hours to feed him. My son is starting to sleep through the night again sometimes even a 6 hour stretch. At least that has been the case the last 3-4 days. I'm guessing perhaps he went through a growth spurt. He jumped from the 50th percentile to 75th at his 4 month check up. Looks like you already got plenty of advice, but here is my two cents.

* He might be going through a growth spurt. Hold tight, it will pass.

* You and husband take turns when he wakes up. Your baby might sense the frustration from both of you being so tired.

* Create a bedtime routine. If a bath soothes him, make sure you do that. I heard baby massages can help too. I always make sure I sing to my son the same lullaby at night so he can distinguish between bedtime and nap time. I sing a different song for naps.

* Do make sure he's getting enough nap time during the day.

* Make sure he's getting enough to eat. Does he finish the bottle every time? He might be needing more formula now and what he's getting isn't enough to last him through the night anymore.

I wish you the best and hope that your baby boy gets his rest as well as mommy and daddy!

I didn't get the chance to read all your previous responces, so my hunch is you've already heard this. My personal opinion (and what I've read) is that babies aren't even old enough for CIO until AT LEAST 6 months. Your son is way too young at this point. If he's crying, he needs something. And it's your job to do your best to try to provide it (easier said than done, I know). Unfortunatley, this includes the middle-of-the night. Hang in there. It will get better.

Unless your baby is 5 months and 15 pounds they should not be made to cry it out if they are waking for a feeding. Most likely he is going through a growth spirt an just isn't getting enough Mommy time and is catching up at night time. To break your baby of night time feedings find his pattern and break it. Take a night or two and record when he is waking then on the third night wake him up to feed him before he has a chance to wake himself. Just offer a little less each time you feed him. If you are breast feeding cut feedings two minutes at a time and if bottle do it an ounce at a time. This is what we are doing with my daughter and she is down to only one night feeding. It has only taken a week!

Hi N.,

Please check into chiropractic care.......you can google infants and chiropractic.....sometimes their nervous system is out of sorts, and through some adjusts it can be regulated again.

This helped my son with sleeping better.

Best wishes

Not to sound mean, but welcome to motherhood! It is not normal for a baby to go that long when they are that young. They need to eat! They are growing so fast they have to eat through out the night. This will normalize when he gets older, just hang in there. We have all been there, and the ones whos babies sleep through the night at a young age like that are not the norm, they are the exception.

Has your pediatrician told you about the growth spurt periods that your baby will go through? About every 2 months your baby will go through a growth spurt. That means he will be getting up more often to eat and will want to eat more at each feeding. It's a phase that usually lasts about a week or so. I would just feed your baby more at each feeding, especially those middle of the night ones. Eventually he will get through this growth spurt and will settle back into a sleep pattern.

At this young of an age, I personally wouldn't do the Cry It Out Method. Your son is trying to figure out his new world and is crying because he is scared, hungry, tired, etc. But probably he is just mostly hungry. My kids always ate more than the "normal" amount. And during those growth spurts, they chugged milk/formula like there was no tomorrow.

In fact, my 18 month old daughter is going through another growth spurt now. She normally sleeps 12 hours at night. And over the last couple of weeks she gets up and totally drains 9 plus ounces of milk, then goes right back to sleep.

I really like the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" book. I still refer back to it every so often when sleep issues come up with my 3.5 yo son and my 18 month old daughter.

As for the sleep deprivation....do you bottle feed or breast feed? Can you and your hubby switch off nights so that one of you can get sleep? Or feed in shifts throughout the night? DH would take all feedings from 7pm to midnight. I would take all feedings from midnight to 6am. DH would take feedings from 6-8am. Then I would do all the feedings during the day since DH was at work. I would go to sleep at night early, like at 8pm and sleep until midnight or 1am. Then sleep between feedings at night and sleep in during the morning until DH left for work.

My baby was sleeping through the night at 3 mo, but regressed with growth spurts and teething -waking once and sometimes twice a night. Its very discouraging not to have success with CIO. We tried it at 8 months and didn't have the stomach for it. We tried again at 10 months we are now sleeping through the night!!! He is still very young. Give it another month and try CIO again if your up for it. Waking every two hours is very difficult for the family. Hang in there. This is something I did for my peace of mind when I tried CIO for the second time. I assume you know cio rules like don't pick them up but DO go in and reassure them. For me it was critical to first establish that my baby was able to go without the food. So I would rub her back and sing to her until she was asleep. When she made it until morning, I knew she was ready. We did this for three nights, then we did CIO. Our game plan was wait 10 min before we checked on her then comfort her every 15 min. for up to an hour before giving into the bottle. It took 4-5 nights and she caught on. Your baby is still so young. Give it a bit more time and try again. Have you started solids? Maybe he has tummy trouble. Use your instincts. If your baby is in pain, you need to go to him. I know it seems like it will never end and when you are sleep deprived, you feel desparate. My guess is that its a growth spurt. Give it a little more time. After everything I've gone through and talking with other mom's, I've decided that 5 mo is a good age to try CIO for my next baby. You know your baby better than anyone. Only you can determine if he's ready for CIO or if there is something more to his crying.

Dear N.,
I could never let my children "cry it out"...I tried with one of them, but then gave up...he was more stubborn than I was:) Your baby is so little, I think that even getting one of those toys with the heart beat, a pacifier or playing soft lullaby music while you rock him would put him back to sleep would work...then you can put him back in the crib...as long as you are sure he is getting enough milk. Make sure you have "burped" him after feeding so he has no bubbles in the tummy. It is possible that "he knows what he wants" which is usually the sign of a smart baby, but sometimes can be problems. I really don't think there is too much coddling for a 4 month old:) My one son would not go to my husband for a while and outgrew that in a few months. Just know that having a 4 month old baby you can expect to spend a lot of time holding and rocking him...bonding with him. It will form a strong relationship for later on. You can also try putting his baby basket right by your bed and rubbing him so he feels your closeness. I did this...I am a tosser and would only bring the babies into the bed for nursing and then put them back in the little bed next to ours. I was afraid I after I fell asleep I would roll or hit him by mistake. Enjoy the little one.

HI N., I am a Sleep Consultant and parenting Coach. I couldn't disagree more with the moms who say he is too young to sleep through the night or that he needs to eat through the night. He is also not too young to cry it out. Most sleep consultants start sleep training at 4 months. I have sleep trained babies as young as 8 weeks. Not by crying it out but by instilling good habits and replacing the bad ones. There are three problems that get in the way of a healthy baby being able to fall asleep on his own and stay asleep: being over-tired, over-stimulated and not having any limits or boundaries. The Crying It Out(limits) method won't work if the other two problems still exist. A baby of 4 months can only be awake for short periods of time before becoming over tired and unable to sleep. Your baby is over tired since he is waking so frequently in the night and probably not napping long enough. He should be getting 15 hours of sleep a day. My advice to you is to start putting him to sleep 1.5 hours after he has been awake in the morning and continue that all day. He will be taking 3-4 naps until he is caught up on sleep then it will drop to 3 naps, hopefully 1-2 hours each. The other thing is to keep him from being over stimulated. A four month old can not handle very much stimulation at all. one trip to the store or one extra person at the house can be too much. Look to see if he is being too stimulated. He needs plenty of time alone to lay on a blanket on the floor and play with only one or two toys in a quiet room. Give him space and time away from actvity several times a day. After you put him in his bed you can go in to reassure quickly, then leave and wait 5,10,15 minutes. Go in every 15 minutes until he is asleep. It will work if you are consistant and do the other things I have suggested. If you need more help I can set up a step by step plan for you and a consultation. Visit my website at www.theindependentchild.com
Good Luck,
K. Smith

I have a 3 1/2 month old baby girl. i offer her a bottle whenever she cries & i can't figure out what else is wrong. i do not base it on 3-4 hour increments. if u r breastfeeding, he probably needs to eat more often & u should also be giving him baby food 3x's a day by now. if u are bottlefeeding then add some cereal or oatmeal in his bottle to get him nice & full. make sure you are burping him too. sometimes my baby cries bec she has to burp & i have to put her up high on my shoulder so it puts pressure on her tummy & she can get the burp out better......we have our baby & ourselves on a pretty decent schedule at night. i'm gonna go in detail & hopefully there are some things u can pick up that will help. first, we make sure we feed her baby food so she is nice & full. after, we give her her nightly bath so she is clean, fresh, & relaxed. after she is lotioned up (which is like a massage) & her clothes are on, i wrap her up like a burrito really tight with her hands down on both sides & she can't really move them. she loves this bec it's kinda like being in the womb. she feels secure & warm. i offer her a bottle & she takes it most of the time. if she doesn't want the bottle, i give her her pacifier which she only takes when she is tired. lately, i am able to lay her side ways on a pillow with the pacifier in her mouth wrapped up like a burrito in front of the t.v. watching whatever is on or listening to the classical music channel (the music soothes her). if the pillow & tv/music doesn't work sometimes my husband or i have to hold her with her head facing our bodies & lying next to her. once sleep for about 10 minutes, we lie her down in her crib on her tummy, unwrap her arms placing them in a position she can lift her head if needed, & give her a few soft pats on her back to make sure she stays sleep. she usually is sleep between 7:30p & 9p. she doesn't wake up til about 1am for another bottle. i listen for her & don't let her go into a loud or long cry (that way she doesn't wake up all the way). b4 going to bed my husband prepares 3 bottles with milk & cereal/oatmeal & puts them in the fridge so all we have to do is warm it n the microwave for about 15 sec then shake it. after getting her bottle, i pick her up outta her crib, lie her next to me in bed with my arm under her head (like a roll pillow), & give her the bottle. while i'm feeding her, my husband changes her diaper (that way she doesn't wake up all the way 2). after she's finished with her bottle, i put her across my tummy face down to burp her while patting her back. the patting on the back allows her to get burped & get put back to sleep. i'm still in bed while doing all this. i only get up to get the bottle, pick her up outta the crib, or lie her back down in the crib (her crib is next to our bed).make sure there is no tv, no lights, no noise, & no talking. sometimes i put her back in her crib depending on if i'm really tired & wanna sleep on my tummy. otherwise, she sleeps in the middle of my husband & i. then she doesn't wake up again til between 6a & 7:30a. oh & i want to mention that we have a floor fan in our room facing the wall so it doesn't blow on us too much. it is always always on to circulate air & i think the fan sound may sooth also. i read that fans lower the probabilty of sids. anyways, try some of the suggestions. it's hard but it will pass. keep loving that baby. good luck!

THIS HAPPENED TO ME TOO!!! I know everyone has their two cents to share..I see you have had an abundance of advice but I wanted to share a few tips. My daughter will be 4 months old in a week and I just asked the very same question 2 weeks ago on here. I received 31 responses. I was shocked, overwhelmed and thankful for all of the replies. My daughter is now sleeping 5 to 6 hours at a time at night. What I started doing was feeding her every 3 hours on both breasts during the day, playing with her for 30 to 45 minutes then putting her to sleep. She sleeps (naps) about 2 hours and wakes up like clock work on the 3 hour mark. I start my bedtime routine about 6:45 and she is put to bed at 7:30. She started the first few days waking up once before midnight and I would feed her but then she would sleep 5 to 6 hours. It has been so wonderful to not wake up evry two or three hours around the clock. I even went three days in a row of waking up EVERY hour. I have a 16 month old too so it was extremely tiring and I had little time to nap during the day. I did have her in the bassinet in my room and I moved it out so that may help you as well. The routine not only has helped my daughter but it is so nice to know I can go jogging with the kids or run errands and know what time I need to be home by. I will be thinking of you and hope that you get some sleep soon. Hang in there and take care.

Hi N., I'm going to assume you are breast feeding, it seems like most breast feeders have this problem, I started all 3 of my babies ( now Grown) on rice cereal starting at six weeks, the rice cereal fills their tummy's and they slep through the night, I have a 4 month old in my daycare, her moms gives her rice cereal at bed time since she wa 6 weeks old, even with her shoots she slept through the night. If you continue to go get him up and feed him, he will continue to wake up cause you allowed a pattern/habit to form, stop goin in and he will stop, but you have to wait it out, you gave in to soon right reasons, but not good idea. It's hard as moms to hear our babies cry, I rocked and sag them to sleep while using a infant feeder with cereal, I always laid my babies down a sleep, I just could not see laying an awake baby down and hve themselves to sleep, I feel that is not an secure way for a baby to fall asleep. Just my opinion now OK? J. L.

Lots of advise, but in a nut shell, he is too young to expect him to really sleep more then 3-4 hours at a strech, even at night. Sorry to say, but I think more often then not, you will have to get up and feed him (he won't eat if he isn't hungry or if it's too uncomfortable due to reflux). They grow like weeds at this point and need tons of calories and love and care. Don't worry, it will get better soon enough, I promise :) Enjoy the middle of the night feedings, it is precious and it will be gone before you know it!!!!! ENJOY as much of it as you can.....

Gina Ford's books 'The Complete Sleep Guide,' and 'The New Contented Little Baby Book,' are brilliant guides. Gina Ford is a top British nanny. Her books provide schedules from birth through toddlerhood. I referenced her books for all three of my children and I highly recommend it! You can order the books on Amazon.com

Hi N.! First of all Congratulations on your new bundle of joy! I myself am a brand new mommy to a one month old so I can relate. My suggestion is if you havnt already tried this..is get into a routine and do the same thing every night. I take my baby up to my room..undress her and change her so she is awake then she eats..we burp and she passes out and sleeps for a good 5 hour stretch. She knows when we go up to the room and start this routine its bed time. Also you can try Johnson and Johnson Bed time bath products..I have actually heard this stuff is amazing.
if you dont want to give him a bath every night they have a lotion. You can use the lotion and massage him with it..it might just relax him into sleep. The J&J bed time bath products even say they are proven to make baby sleep longer.
Good luck! I hope this helps!