Seeking Advice on Dealing with My Daycare Without Being Overly Intrusive

Hi J.,

You have every right to confront your daughters daycare about the actions taking place. I would first very nicely ask them to monitor your daughter as she keeps coming home with bite marks and reverting back to diapers, 2nd, if there is no resolve, I would write a letter stating what you would like to be changed. If you get nothing afterwards, I would find a new daycare and report the old one. My son was mistreated at his daycare (it has been many years) but he once ran out the door and was standing on a busy street corner before anyone noticed. I reported that (obviously) and found out while doing so, they had many many violations against them for various things. You can also request they show you there audits. You will definately want to make sure the staff is qualified to take care of your daughter. If you dont protect her, no one will, your her best advocate!

Although biting is normal at this age, you have EVERY right to expect the daycare to protect your child. Since they know they have a biter in the class, they should be watchful of warning signs from this child and redirect the child before they bite. AS a teacher, I am happy to hear that there are parents out there who are still interested in their childrens' well-being. Don't ever worry that you are being too pushy when it comes to your daughter. If the daycare staff don't like it, that is their problem. They are there and paid to take care of your daughter. she doesn't deserve to be bit and have nothing come of it.

L.

Hi J.:

Biting is normal at this age. There are probably several biters in her room. I am a mother of a son that learned to bite at daycare and worked with the daycare workers to get him to stop. It was extremely stressful to walk in everyday and be confronted with an incident report and feel like all the other parents are hating your son since he bit their child. Have the daycare workers given you any literature on biting and what their philosophy is on how to handle? They really need to partner with the biter's parents and make sure they are handling the same way at school and at home. Even though your daughter is the victim, you have a right to know how they are handling the discipline of the biter. Also, there is a good possibility that your daughter will start to bite unless it is handled properly or at least consistently in the daycare room.

As for the potty training, I think your suggestion of having her moved to the older room is a good one, but it will probably take some committment from the teachers in the older room.

You are not being overly intrusive. It is tough to send our children to daycare. There are definitely benefits to their socialization, but I am still struggling with the amount of time that my son is away from us and issues that he has to deal with because he is in daycare such as biting. Every one of my friends who is a SAHM say, "my kid never bit". I think it is because they never learned that behavior. Anyway, I also feel like my work interferes with my ability to be a good mother. Hang in there and just keep doing the best you can. Good Luck!!

You should defanitly push the issue of the biting child & find out how they are handling it. Also I agree about asking to move her up into the older class. Some children just learn faster than others. My daughter never bit anyone even though her cousin alwasy bit. My husband & I both work full time jobs so it dosent have anything to do with how much you work, it just depends on how you handle things at home. Remind her that is is NOT ok to bite & also ask her why she is potting in her panties. Encourage her not to of coures. I yes bribed my daughter. I told her for every day she did not have an accident she would get a treat. Even if it was just a bowl of ice cream when we got home.
Also there is a web site you can go to, to check out your day care. Child care in ohio, here is the link. http://jfs.ohio.gov/cdc/
If anything doesnt work I think I would start looking into another day care. Take care & good luck.